Accidental Babies
by AmyLeigh88
Summary: Both Jesse and Rachel had moved on with their lives in the last ten years. Or at least they thought they had. When they come back into each other's lives and rediscover some feelings never die, will they do something they both regret?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, these characters do not belong to me. If they did, Jesse would return as soon as Jon Groff gets back to the States next week.

**Author's Note: **So I was listening to Damien Rice's "Accidental Babies" in the car one day and it gave me an idea for a future!St. Berry fic. For those who don't know the song, it's about two people that are in love but are in other relationships while having an affair. I know a lot of people hate cheating (I do too in real-life), but hopefully you'll give it a chance. This is going to be my first attempt at a longer fic. I know where I'm going, I just don't know how long it'll take to get there. Please review and let me know what you think!

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It had been ten years since Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James had truly had an actual, honest conversation which was odd considering they both ran in the same circles in New York and they had both been working actors on Broadway for at least the last three of those years.

But first, to understand where their story is going, you have to understand where it's been.

After everything that had happened at the end of Jesse's senior year of high school, when it had come time to move out to California and attend school at UCLA, Jesse had decided that his calling was on the opposite coast of the country.

New York and Broadway were calling him.

He had applied to NYU early his senior year and had been accepted, but when UCLA had given him a full ride he had taken it. It wasn't that his family needed him to have a scholarship in order to attend college, for him it was more of a pride thing to be able to take care of his education on his own without the aid of his parents' money.

When he'd decided that NYU was where his heart truly lay, he'd had to swallow his pride and ask his father and mother for the money to attend school there. He had been offered a partial scholarship but it was still going to cost a lot of money, especially the housing. He had called the admissions office and asked if his spot was still open and after many discussions and phone calls – and begging – they'd welcomed him as a freshman for the Fall 2010 semester.

Jesse shouldn't have been surprised that it had all worked out because that was just the way life went for him. Most of the time anyways. He usually got everything he set his mind to, but he had wondered if this was going to be one of the first of many setbacks for him as he finally reached the real world outside of the high school bubble that he had been living in.

He took his entire freshman year to get to know New York intimately. He wanted to know every nook and cranny that he possibly could because it was his home. He decided that it always would be. Even if he got a job somewhere else, he would only allow it to be temporary because New York was where his heart was. It was like the city lived and breathed inside of him. Sometimes he thought that it was New York that had chosen him, not the other way around.

Life was by no means easy at school. While he spent every minute of his free time out and about in the city, he didn't have a whole lot of free time because of his school load. He knew that college would be a challenge, but he was smart and school had always come easy for him. It still did, but it just required a lot more work to get everything done for his classes.

During his sophomore year, Jesse began auditioning for Broadway and Off-Broadway shows. He knew that the likelihood of him actually being cast right off the bat was slim, but he had never thought that he'd go to audition after audition and only get a couple of callbacks. It had discouraged him. He had questioned whether or not he was truly as talented as he had always believed he was.

He wasn't being arrogant when he would wonder why people that he was clearly better than would get a callback and he wouldn't. Jesse had always thought that he had charm and that _je ne sais quoi_ that drew people to him, but he had wondered if he had lost some of that since he'd left Ohio – and _her_ – behind.

His junior year, he had stopped auditioning altogether and decided to concentrate on his schoolwork, and he had hoped that the time off would help him to become the un-jaded person that he had once been. Performing in school productions and cabarets made him remember why he was doing all of this in the first place.

He also met a girl that year. The first girl – since _her – _that he had actually wanted to have a second date with. He had dated lots of girls in his first two years in New York, but none that made him want to commit to anything more than the occasional hook-up or a night out.

Isla was the complete opposite of Rachel in almost every single way imaginable which was probably why Jesse was drawn to her because she didn't make him think of the girl that he'd left behind. The girl that made him have so many regrets. Of course, there were the obvious physical differences with her strawberry blond hair, her curvy 5'6'' physique, her porcelain skin and crystal clear blue eyes. But it was more than that. She had so much confidence in not just her talents – she was a writer – but also in who she was. She reminded Jesse of himself in that way. She had tons of friends and she was extremely independent.

Jesse loved who he was when he was with her and she made him believe that he could do anything that he set his mind to because she had faith in him. It wasn't exactly a smooth road for them either though. They hit quite a few rough patches along the way, but they never stayed broken up for long. When it looked like she might get a job in Chicago, Jesse was distraught but then she was offered a job as an Assistant Editor at a children's literature publishing house and she decided to stay. That was when Jesse knew that he really loved her.

They had been together two years when Jesse finally landed his first role, a lead role, in a brand-new Off-Broadway show. Three weeks into the show's run, Jesse proposed to Isla. And even though guys never really dream about their wedding day, he'd always imagined that if he ever did get married it would be in December, but Isla had always dreamed of being a June bride. So in June of the next year, just before the show was to make its move to Broadway, they were married.

That was when Jesse saw Rachel for the first time in years. At least, he thought that he'd seen her. Sometimes he thought that it had just been wishful thinking. The show had been on Broadway for about six months but it was a huge hit and had a rather large fan following. Every night, after the show he and his other cast mates would leave the theater only to have throngs of fans waiting for them outside. He had been one of the last to leave that night and a large crowd was still gathered waiting for him, as he had turned his head, she had looked up and their eyes had locked.

Jesse had felt his smile slip a bit as he felt a shock wave go through him. Then she had turned around and was gone. He had searched the crowd as he talked to the fans and signed autographs but he didn't see her again. He wasn't able stop thinking about Rachel that night. How she had looked even more beautiful than she had all those years ago.

How, even after all that time, she still couldn't stand to be anywhere near him.

He had fallen asleep on the couch that night.

Other than the night he saw Rachel, the first year of married life was great. He and Isla were happy, but as their careers became a bigger part of their lives, they began to grow apart. And that was when Rachel came back into Jesse's world. Only not in the way that Jesse would have liked.

Jesse had thought that perhaps they could let bygones be bygones but when Rachel had greeted him coolly the first time they spoke, he knew that wasn't going to be possible. He had hoped that his note the night of her very first Broadway performance would be seen as a peace offering, but obviously Rachel hadn't seen it the same way. In a way, it was almost like they had never known each other at all.

And that's how the next few years were for them. They were cordial at parties and other social events, and perhaps there were some lingering glances that they both tried to hide but that was it. That is, until they were both cast in the lead roles in a Broadway musical.

Isla should've noticed the shift, but she was so wrapped up in her own life away from Jesse that she didn't seem to care, even if she did notice a change in her husband.

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**Author's Note: **I wanted to give a little background for Rachel and Jesse before I got to the actual story. The next chapter, which is already written, will be some Rachel backstory.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. It's also good to see the Story Alerts and Favorite Stories as well. So this is Rachel's backstory and hopefully explains Rachel's behavior towards Jesse. Reviews are love! Enjoy!

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Life hadn't gone exactly according to plan for Rachel over the last ten years. She had dated Finn off-and-on her junior year and then Puck her senior year, but she knew that neither relationship would last beyond high school. Neither boy could ever quite live up to the one that she compared them to constantly in her mind. She had wondered if anyone would be able to.

She had capped off her four years at McKinley with the coveted National title that she had been dreaming of, but that Fall instead of heading off to New York to attend NYU, like she'd imagined she would earlier in her high school career, she began matriculating at the University of Michigan. They had a great a Musical Theater program and it was much more affordable than NYU. Her dads had told her that they would do whatever it took if NYU was really where she wanted to be, but after visiting Michigan's campus she decided that she wanted the college experience that only a non-urban campus could give her.

Her Broadway dreams could wait a little bit longer.

She had loved her life at school. She had been worried that it would be much like high school when it came to her social life, but it wasn't anything like it. She had tons of friends, she went to football games with them all decked out in the maize and blue school colors and to the movies with them and got pizza with them. She even went to frat parties. She auditioned for every school production she could possibly audition for. She landed a few minor roles her freshman year, but finally in the spring of her sophomore year she got the role of Elphaba in a school production of _Wicked_. Rachel knew that if standing on the stage while the audience gave them a standing ovation felt this good for a school production, Broadway was going to be the best thing ever.

She met Donovan, who was two years older than her, while she was doing _Wicked_. He played Fiyero. She had seen him before in a couple of school productions, but she'd never spoken to him. She knew it was so cliché and silly to fall for her co-star, but she was smitten the moment she met him.

He had dark-brown curly hair and soulful green eyes that made her think of another curly-haired, green-eyed boy from long ago. The similarities between Donovan and Jesse didn't end there. He had that arrogant charm that she had loved about Jesse so much. He had an amazing voice, not as good as Jesse's, but still wonderful. He'd also been in glee club at his high school in Illinois and they'd even gone to Nationals. He told her how they had lost to another show choir from Ohio called Vocal Adrenaline.

Rachel never said a word about Jesse.

It was so long ago that it didn't matter. But she knew that deep down it did because otherwise she would have told him about it.

Unlike Rachel, Donovan had been on the five-year plan, so by the time Donovan moved to New York to pursue his dreams of being on Broadway they had been together a year. Rachel was concerned that a long distance relationship wouldn't last, but they made it work. He came to visit her as often as he could and she would go to New York every once in awhile.

On one of her visits, Donovan wanted to surprise her so he took Rachel to see a new musical that had just moved from Off-Broadway to Broadway earlier in the year and Rachel had felt her heart stop when she saw Jesse's name on the marquee above the theater. A part of her was happy for him that he had made it. He'd done what both of them had talked about so many times as they cuddled on her couch when her dads were home or as they lazily lay on her bed wrapped in each other's arms on rainy afternoons.

But there was this irrational part of her that hated that he had done it before her. A part of her had always wanted to star in a Broadway production before him. It was stupid, she knew, but she couldn't help herself.

He was brilliant, just like she knew he would be. Hearing his voice again after all that time gave her goose bumps and brought tears to her eyes. She hated being a girl sometimes.

After the show Donovan wanted to wait by the stage door to see if they could meet any of the actors, Rachel tried to protest but when he pouted slightly she just rolled her eyes and let him lead the way to the stage door. Rachel's heart pounded in her chest each time the stage door opened in anticipation that it would be Jesse. And each time it wasn't, she would breathe a silent sigh of relief.

Then he emerged to cheers from the awaiting fans and it was like he walked out in slow motion. The noise of the crowd became muffled and distant as she watched Jesse wave and smile. She saw a glint of something shiny on his left ring finger, and Rachel didn't know why, but it felt like an enormous weight was pressing on her chest and it hurt to breathe.

He was married.

She began to panic as she saw Jesse's head turning in her direction. She quickly told Donovan that she was going to wait off to the side for him and just before she turned away, she looked up and locked eyes with Jesse. She saw his smile falter a bit when her face registered with him. Then she ran away like a coward.

When she got back to Donovan's, she told him that she needed to make a phone call so she stepped out into the hallway just outside his apartment and sat down on the stairs. She went through her contacts list and found the one person that might be able to understand what she was feeling in that moment: Kurt.

"Rachel?" Kurt had answered.

"He's married!" she wailed without greeting Kurt at all.

"Who's married?" he asked puzzled.

"Jesse!" she cried, tears streaking her cheeks.

"How do you know?"

"I saw him tonight after his Broadway show," she said, almost inaudibly and sniffling quietly.

"Why are you so upset? It's been years, Rachel. You've moved on since then," Kurt said, slightly baffled by Rachel's reaction to seeing Jesse again.

"I…I…don't…know," she sobbed, her words hitching as she tried to get them out. "He was supposed to be mine. This was supposed to be ours," she told him, finally admitting outloud what she had never been able to before. She wiped at her tears as she continued to cry. "I know it's stupid but it's what I always thought."

"Donovan can't hear you, can he?" he asked.

"Kurt!" Rachel yelled, trying to get him to focus on what she was saying.

"Listen, Rachel, you've talked about Jesse but I didn't think you still had feelings for him," he said gently.

"I didn't think I did either until I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest tonight when I saw him," she stated. Even though she'd never told Jesse that she'd loved him, she had. He was her first love. He was always going to have a piece of her heart.

There was silence on the other end of the phone and Kurt sighed before finally saying, "Sweetie, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Do you want me to come over?" Kurt had been attending FIT in New York for the last four years.

"I don't want you to do anything. I just had to tell somebody," Rachel replied, wiping angrily at the tears that wouldn't stop streaming down her face. "I'll let you go. Bye, Kurt."

"I'm sorry, Rachel," Kurt said just before she hung up the phone.

After taking deep breaths and letting her tears dry up, Rachel had walked backed into Donovan's apartment with her best showface on. She had sat next to him on the couch and started kissing him and then she told him to make love to her. As he did, she imagined another beautiful velvet-voiced, curly-haired, green-eyed man moving above her, kissing her neck and making her cry out in ecstasy.

Rachel had just been grateful that she hadn't screamed out Jesse's name.

Rachel had felt so guilty after that night that she'd banished all thoughts of Jesse St. James from her mind. She began to resent him for so many things. For never apologizing to her for shattering her heart in a million pieces when they were both teenagers. For being the catalyst that brought a mother into her life who didn't want to be _her_ mother. For actually living the Broadway dreams that she wanted _so_ badly.

When Rachel got back to Ann Arbor she couldn't wait to be done with school. It was the first time since she had began going to school at Michigan that she actually had some doubts and regrets about the path that she had chosen for herself. She was ready to take New York by storm and graduation couldn't come soon enough.

That summer after her graduation she moved to New York and began living with Donovan. He'd had some smaller roles in a couple of Off-Broadway productions but nothing like he had hoped. He had even auditioned to be Jesse's understudy in his still running Broadway show but he never got a callback. Rachel knew that it was going to be a long, hard road, but she was willing to pound the pavement to make it happen. She knew it could be years of auditioning without much success so she hoped for the best and prepared herself for the worst and got a job as a waitress to pay the bills.

Rachel heard about an audition for a role that was soon going to be vacated by the lead actress who was moving on to a new show in London. Rachel gave it her all in the audition, but she knew the likelihood of getting the part was pretty slim. Things just didn't work like that. There were so many hopeful actors that this never happened for, so why should she be any different? But she remembered what a boy she had once loved had told her so long ago.

A month later, she thought she could die of happiness as she sat in her dressing room trying to prepare for her first night onstage. She heard a knock on her door and opened it to see a PA standing there with a massive bouquet of flowers. She took the flowers from the PA with a smile and thanked him, shutting her door behind her to look at the card. She opened the card figuring it was from Donovan. She nearly dropped the flowers, her hand flying to her lips as she gasped once she read the card.

_I told you that you being on Broadway was an inevitability. They won't know what hit them. Break a leg. – Jesse_

She must have read the card ten times and her smile grew each time. He still believed in her. But that didn't change the fact that he was married. And truth be told, she wasn't sure she even wanted a friendship with him. It would just complicate her life. And his. So she had made the decision that she didn't want Jesse St. James in her life if she could help it.

When Rachel finally did run into Jesse a couple of months into her Broadway show, with Donovan by her side, she greeted him coolly. Almost like she barely knew him and didn't care to know him any further. After she had introduced Donovan, Jesse had politely excused himself and avoided her the rest of the night with the exception of a few stolen glances.

Donovan proposed a year later, Rachel said yes and their long engagement began. It was excuse after excuse as to why they couldn't set a date. Mostly, it boiled down to the fact that Donovan didn't want to get married until something happened with his career. Something that would make him happy. Rachel began to wonder if they would ever get married.

When Rachel was cast in a new production opposite Jesse, the dynamic between her and Donovan changed. She felt like he resented her and her success because he had yet to find that same success. Life at home was awkward and uncomfortable at times and they both started spending more and more time away from each other.

With the distance between them, he never even knew when Rachel checked out of their relationship.

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**Author's Note: **Next chapter there will finally be some St. Berry interaction. So, yay!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **I'm glad that you guys like the backstory that I've established for Jesse and Rachel. So, we're finally to what you guys have been waiting for, some St. Berry interaction. I really liked writing this chapter so hopefully you guys will enjoy reading it. Leave me some feedback and let me know what you guys think!

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Rachel was sitting on the side of the stage, going through her bag one day after rehearsal, when a voice startled her.

"Hey," Jesse said softly, smiling down at her.

She looked up at him and returned his smile. "Hi."

"Do you mind if I…" he gestured toward the area next to her.

"Oh, no, please," she replied.

Sitting down next to her and leaning back on his hands, almost casually, he looked at her a moment before speaking. Thinking about whether or not he should just be blunt, he decided to just say it. "It's weird, right?" Noticing Rachel's eyes widen at his out-of-the-blue question and the strange look she gave him, he elaborated. "Us working together. Rehearsing every day for three weeks already. Acting like we barely know each other."

"We do barely know each other," Rachel replied. She wasn't trying to be a bitch, she was stating a fact. They had known each other when they were just kids, but a lot can happen in ten years. People can change in ways that you'd never imagine. Rachel knew that she wasn't the same girl that he'd known so long ago, and she had a feeling that he had grown into being a better man than the boy she had dated.

"You have a point," he conceded. "So that's why I was wondering if we could start fresh? Clean slate? Leave the past in the past and try to forget the stupid things we do as teenagers to maintain our place in the social hierarchy?"

Rachel knew he was talking about the egging, and truth be told, she'd forgiven him for it a long time ago. But it was still nice to hear that he regretted it even if he didn't come right out and say that he was sorry. She saw him start to fidget when she didn't answer right away so finally she said, "Hi, I'm Rachel Berry."

Jesse's mouth crooked up in a half-smile as he took her outstretched hand in his and shook it. "Nice to meet you, Rachel. I'm Jesse."

"Just Jesse? No last name?" she teased. He shoved her lightly as he looked at her with a sheepish grin on his face. "So, what's your story, Jesse No-Last-Name?"

"Have a drink with me and maybe I'll tell you, Rachel Berry," he replied, cocking his head to one side. There was that arrogant charm that she remembered so well.

She narrowed her eyes slightly at him like she was weighing what she wanted to do. "Alright, I'll have drink with you," she told him as she went to stand up. Grabbing her bag off the ground, she looked down at him. "But you're buying."

He chuckled as he stood up as well and went to grab his stuff. "One thing you're going to learn, Rachel Berry, is that Jesse St. James is a gentleman."

"So you _do_ have a last name," she giggled. "I also just learned that you like to talk about yourself in the third person." He rolled his eyes as she walked over to him, but laughed good-naturedly at her teasing. He was happy that the ease that was once there between them, was still there once they let their guard down.

They were one of the last ones still left in the theater as they walked down an empty hall to the stage door to leave. "Is there any place that you'd like to go? I want to see where Rachel Berry hangs out in her free time," he said as they walked down the side alley towards the main avenue. She rolled her eyes at him. "What can I say? I'm a fan."

She unsuccessfully tried to hide her smile at his last comment. They hailed a cab and she gave the driver the address of one of her favorite pubs.

"How is it that all the times I've been to Molly's, I've never seen you here?" Jesse asked as they pulled up in front of the pub ten minutes later.

Rachel just shrugged. "Maybe I _was_ here and you just didn't see me," she said coyly as she handed the driver the money.

Jesse opened his mouth to protest about her paying but she ignored him and got out of the cab. He slid out of the backseat after her and stepped onto the sidewalk. "That's just not possible, Rachel," he replied to her finally, leaning in towards her and raising his eyebrows slightly. He grabbed the front door and opened it for her, gesturing for her to go inside. "After you."

"Thank you. Maybe you are a gentleman after all," she quipped as she walked inside. The pub wasn't too crowded so they got a booth near the fireplace and sat on opposite sides. It felt intimate without being uncomfortable.

"So do you keep in touch with anyone from your old glee club still?" Jesse asked as they waited for a server to take their order.

"A few, but the only one that I talk to and see on a regular basis is Kurt," Rachel told him. She tried not to think about her breakdown and the phone call to Kurt the night she'd seen Jesse for the first time. She glanced down at the ring on his finger and then averted her eyes before Jesse noticed.

"How is Kurt? I take it he decided not to pursue a career on Broadway?"

"His true passion was always fashion so he went to FIT and he got a job as a designer at Marc Jacobs not too long ago," she explained proudly. "I tell him all the time he needs to start his own line but he says he wants to learn from the best before he does that. I convinced him to design my wedding dress though. I told him– "

"Wedding dress? You're engaged?" Jesse asked, cutting her off mid-sentence. He tried to hide his disappointment at hearing that she was engaged. He wasn't sure he was very successful. He was married though, he shouldn't have any sort of feelings about her love life but here it was.

Rachel had nearly forgotten that she never wore her engagement ring to rehearsals so every time she'd seen Jesse, she had never had it on. She looked down at her finger and gently touched it with her other hand, before looking up at him with a small smile. "Yeah, I am. It's been sort of a long engagement."

"How long have you been engaged?" Jesse asked, keeping his voice as even as possible.

"Almost two years," Rachel replied, glancing at the table. "Donovan wants to concentrate on his career right now and so do I, but we're thinking in the next year or so."

Jesse nodded his head in understanding and was grateful when the server came over and interrupted their conversation. Both he and Rachel ordered a beer, before Rachel decided that she didn't want to talk about her and Donovan's relationship so she asked, "What about you? Are you still friends with anyone from Vocal Adrenaline?"

"No. I haven't actually spoken to any of them in years. Well, except for Shelby, who I talk to every so often," he replied. Jesse regretted mentioning Shelby's name immediately when he saw the hurt look on Rachel's face at the mere mention of her name. "I take it you haven't spoken to her in awhile?"

"No," was Rachel's only answer.

As much as Jesse regretted the egging incident, most of the time he hated his role in helping Shelby and Rachel meet the most. He never could understand how Shelby did a complete 180 when it came to Rachel in the span of a couple of weeks. He had hoped that eventually they would have formed some sort of relationship, but sadly it seemed like that may never happen. He'd figured that since Shelby never even mentioned Rachel's name that she and Rachel didn't have a relationship, but a part of him had held out hope that she never brought up Rachel's name to him because Rachel had asked her mother not to.

"How are your dads?" Jesse asked, immediately changing the subject.

Rachel brightened and said, "They're wonderful. They're so excited to come and see the show. You know they're big fans of yours."

Jesse chuckled at that. "They are?"

"Yeah, they actually saw you in your very first lead role on Broadway," she told him, grinning.

"And?"

"They thought you were brilliant. I had told them about the show after I went to see it," she explained.

"I remember seeing you at the stage door. Or at least I think that was you, seeing as the moment I saw you, you turned around and disappeared in the crowd," Jesse said, just as the server set their drinks down on the table. "Why did you run away like that?"

Rachel took a large gulp from her beer before saying anything. "To be honest, I don't know," she lied. She wasn't about to tell him that she had freaked out when she'd seen that he was married. "I guess I panicked. I also never told Donovan about you so..."

"Why?" Jesse asked, surprised to hear that. Although, he had never told Isla about Rachel.

"I don't know that either," Rachel replied, smiling sheepishly. She thought about it for a moment before continuing. "It was just one of those things that I wanted to keep to myself."

"Does he know now?"

Rachel shook her head no. "I probably should tell him, but if I tell him now he'll wonder why it's taken me so long," she explained.

Jesse nodded his head in understanding. "Like you were hiding something." Rachel gave him a small nod. "How'd you meet him?"

She hesitated before answering his question. "Um, we starred in _Wicked _at the University of Michigan. I was Elphaba and he was Fiyero."

"You fell for your co-star?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I just find it interesting is all."

"Well, don't. It's not like I have a history of falling for my co-stars. It was one time," she replied, a little defensively.

Jesse put his hands up in surrender. "I wasn't implying that at all."

"How'd you meet your wife?" Rachel asked suddenly.

"Isla was in my English class my junior year at NYU," he replied. "She was what I needed at the time. She believed in me and encouraged me. I think it helped that she wasn't a theater major like me."

Rachel felt an irrational pang of jealousy as she listened to Jesse describe his and Isla's relationship. She mentally slapped herself for having those types of feelings and thoughts about a married man. It didn't escape her notice that he was speaking about his wife in the past tense. _Isla had been what he'd needed at the time_, she thought. She wanted to ask if Isla was still what he needed but she thought that was inappropriate so instead she asked something completely benign, "What does she do for a living?"

"Well, she used to work for a children's book publishing company but she started working at a fashion magazine a little over a year ago," Jesse said, his voice dripping with disdain.

It was clear that things weren't going well at home, but Rachel figured that it was best to avoid any further discussion on their significant others. At least tonight.

Apparently, Jesse was thinking the same thing. "So, why Molly's?" he asked with a smile, before bringing the pilsner glass to his lips to take another sip.

"Well, I love most of the Irish pubs in New York, but sitting next to the fireplace when the pub's not too crowded…sometimes I just never want to leave. It's just so comfortable and cozy," she explained with a wistful smile as she glanced around the pub. "There aren't many places that have that feel."

"And the beer and food aren't bad either," Jesse added teasingly, making Rachel laugh a little.

"And there's that," she agreed.

So they ordered some food and another drink the next time the server came by and before they knew it, they'd been sitting there for over an hour. Looking at his watch, Jesse noticed the time and figured that they should probably get going.

"Thanks for the drinks… and dinner," Rachel said, as they stood out in front of the restaurant five minutes later. "Next time, I'm buying."

"Deal," Jesse replied, smiling at her warmly as he hailed a cab. "I'm glad we did this."

"Me too," she said as Jesse opened the door of the cab for her. "Do you want to share the cab?"

"I'll get my own. Thanks though," he told her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

They both hesitated for a moment, not sure if they should hug or shake hands or just simply wave good-bye. Finally Rachel went for the hug and wrapped her arms around his mid-section. Jesse tentatively wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back, squeezing her lightly before they let go of each other. "Good night, Jesse."

"Good night, Rachel." He shut the cab door as she got in and waved just before the cab pulled away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **So there is a reason for the rating increase to M but it's definitely NOT St. Berry sex. :) That's going to take a little bit of time. With this chapter, I wanted to give a little insight into what Jesse and Rachel's lives at home are like. Why they both might be a little unhappy in their current situations. I plan on having more chapters like this later on as well. Anyway, thanks for all of the feedback everyone! Keep it up!

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Jesse unlocked the door to his apartment and knew that it would be dark inside before he even opened the door. This is what he had come home to most nights for the past year. An empty and dark apartment.

He walked over to the bar, grabbed a tumbler glass and poured some scotch into it, gulping it all down in one swig. He poured another glass and walked over to the couch and plopped down onto it, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing in frustration as he leaned his head back against the couch. He thought about what his life had become. Professionally, he was living the dream that he had always wanted. Personally, it was a different story.

He and Isla might as well just be roommates. They hadn't been intimate in months and when he'd try to initiate it, she'd tell him she was tired or she just wasn't in the mood. Although, he wasn't completely blameless because there had been many times where he had pushed her hands away from him after a long, hard grueling day.

It was more than that though. They didn't even really talk anymore. He remembered when they used to come home and give each other a kiss on the lips and talk about their days. Now, they were doing well if they actually had a conversation that lasted longer than five minutes.

Somewhere along the way, it seemed like they both had just stopped trying. Other things were more important in their lives than their marriage. Jesse was just glad that they didn't have any children that could possibly suffer from the loveless marriage he and Isla were currently in.

As he took a sip of scotch from the glass, Rachel's face swam in his vision. He smiled at the memory of how she had laughed and grinned at dinner. He hadn't wanted to leave her company. He could've stayed there just talking to her for hours. Innocent thoughts turned into forbidden ones as he continued to drink his scotch. He thought about the love scene that they'd had during rehearsals. How it had taken so much restraint not to put his tongue in her mouth as they were kissing and see if she still tasted the same.

He felt himself harden as he fantasized about their love scene becoming a reality. They'd never had sex when they were younger, but Jesse could just imagine how good she would feel beneath him. How good it would feel to be inside of her. The sound of her crying out his name.

His eyes flew open just as he had started to reach inside his pants. He needed to take a shower. A cold one. He shouldn't be having thoughts about Rachel like that. She was his co-star. She was engaged to another man. _He_ was married.

Walking into the bathroom, he stripped off his clothes and turned the water on. As he stood under the streaming lukewarm water his thoughts wandered back to Rachel again, and he felt himself grow extremely hard as he began to think about pressing her up against the wall of the shower and having his way with her. He took his erection in his soapy hand and stroked himself. He imagined his hand was Rachel's lips and warm tongue, gently sucking and licking.

It didn't take long before he was spilling in the shower as he came. He washed himself off and tried not to think about how he was going to look Rachel in the eye tomorrow. Sure he'd fantasized about her before but it'd been a long time ago. Besides, this was different. They weren't high school kids who were dating. Or he wasn't having sex with some girl imagining it was Rachel.

Turning off the water, he got out of the shower and dried off before putting on some sleep pants and a t-shirt. As he climbed into bed, he tried willing all thoughts of Rachel from his mind. He turned on his iPod and placed it on the nightstand, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.

Jesse ended up drifting off with thoughts of Rachel and what could have been if things were different. He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep when he felt the bed move. Looking at the clock, he noticed that it was after 1 a.m. He turned over to look at his wife who had just crawled under the covers.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Isla said, looking over at him in the semi-darkness of their bedroom.

"Late night at the office?" Jesse asked, his voice gruff with sleep.

"Yeah, we were trying to get some stuff done in time for the next issue," she explained. "Go back to sleep." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He noticed the smell of cigarette smoke on her but didn't taste it on her lips. He was curious when they had started smoking in the office.

He sometimes wondered if she was having an affair, but sadly he couldn't bring himself to care or be concerned about his wife's potential infidelity. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about his own thoughts of betrayal.

* * *

Rachel walked into her and Donovan's apartment to find him sitting on the couch drinking a beer. She shouldn't have been surprised since this seemed to be how she always found him when she came home lately. Either that or he wasn't there at all. "Hey," he greeted, not bothering to look away from the show that he was currently watching on the TV.

"Hi, how was your day?" she replied as she took her coat off and laid it on the chair along with her bag.

"The usual bullshit," he said, still not bothering to look at her. "Standing outside for a large chunk of the day waiting to audition for a role that I won't be getting."

"Donovan…" she started but he cut her off.

"Where were you?" he asked, finally glancing at her before looking at the TV again.

"I was having dinner with one of my co-stars," she told him, surprising herself by not just coming right out and saying that she had dinner with Jesse.

She finally had his attention and now she didn't really want it. "Oh yeah? Who'd you have dinner with?"

"Just Jesse," she replied, before heading off towards the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"St. James?" he asked loudly as he watched her walk away.

"Yep," she answered. _A_ _little too brightly_, she thought.

"So do you actually like him now?" Rachel didn't know what to make of his tone. It wasn't exactly accusatory but it was in a way. "I mean, you would barely say two words to the guy for years."

"I just didn't know him and now that we're working together, he's actually a nice guy. You'd probably get along great with him," she explained, doing her best to keep her tone neutral. She should have told Donovan about her relationship with Jesse a long time ago, but now that she had waited so long he would wonder if she was hiding something from him. Rachel was beginning to wonder if she was.

Donovan just snorted at that and went back to watching TV. Rachel hated how jaded and bitter he had become over the years. She wondered if she hadn't landed a lead role on Broadway and found success, if she would be just like him. She hated that it hadn't happened for him yet, but she was supposed to be able to talk to him about things like how wonderful rehearsals were going for the show and how fabulous it was going to be but she couldn't. She either felt guilty or pissed that she was living her Broadway dreams when he wasn't.

"I'm going to take a shower," she told him. She might as well have been telling no one since it got no reaction from him whatsoever. Sometimes she wanted to take her engagement ring and throw it at him and tell him he needed to move out. She understood that it was probably really hard for him to watch her success when he'd been at it so long, but it wasn't her fault and she really wished that he could just be happy for her and support her.

As Rachel let the water fall over her body, she thought about how there would've been a time when Donovan would've come into the bathroom and joined her in the shower. The truth was, they hadn't had sex when he was completely sober in awhile. There were times when she didn't want him to touch her at all. Not even to hold her. He never got angry with her when she turned him down, but he would go sleep on the couch.

Rachel didn't know how to fix what was broken with them. She didn't know if it could ever be fixed.

Rachel could hear the sounds of the TV as she lay in bed a little while later. She put her ear buds in and listened to some music completely drowning out the sound coming from the living room. As she closed her eyes, her thoughts turned to Jesse and their evening together.

She had missed him. She wished that she had reacted differently when he jad sent her those flowers before her first Broadway show. They had lost so much time.

She remembered the feel of being in his arms as they had hugged. It had felt right and that familiar pull low in her belly was still there. She was a consummate professional when they were in-character and rehearsing, but she wouldn't deny that their love scenes turned her on somewhat. Even with all of those people around it was hard not to be turned on when Jesse's lips were on hers and his body moved against hers. She began to imagine what it would feel like to be with him. For real.

Would he touch her the same way that he did when they were in-character or would it be different? His kisses still felt the same as they had when they were younger. Her hand moved down her body as she remembered the way his hands had caressed her breasts during rehearsals. She slipped her hand inside her panties as she thought of Jesse's tongue darting out to taste her skin as he kissed her neck.

She imagined it was his fingers parting her folds and slipping inside of her. His thumb circling her nub as his fingers made her feel things that she hadn't felt in so long. She thought of his searing kiss on her lips and how she would hungrily kiss him back, her tongue tangling with his in a passionate kiss. Her mouth was a silent 'O' as she orgasmed, thoughts of Jesse still running through her mind.

The last few weeks of being around him had led to this. He had crept into her unconscious mind the moment they started working together. She'd had vivid dreams about him that sometimes made her blush as she thought about them in his presence. But now he was taking over her conscious thoughts and she didn't know how to stop it. When she would try not to think about him, it just got worse.

It didn't help that she and Donovan were having problems, and to hear that perhaps Jesse's marriage was in a not-so-great place, it made it even harder not to think about all the what-ifs. But this was the hand that life had dealt them and she was going to do everything she could to make sure that things between them remained platonic. Even if every waking thought she was beginning to have was anything but.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Thank you to everyone for the great feedback so far. I'm like Rachel and Tinkerbell, but instead of needing applause to live, I need reviews. :) So review and let me know what you guys think.

* * *

The next day Jesse was standing around talking to some of his cast mates waiting for rehearsals to begin, when he saw Rachel walk in. He immediately brightened and one of his cast mates, Thomas, turned to look to see what had made Jesse so damn happy.

"You play with fire St. James, you're gonna get burned," Thomas said quietly so only Jesse could hear him as he leaned over towards Jesse.

"It's not like that man," Jesse lied. "She's just an old friend." At least that was somewhat true. Although his actions last night within the comfort of his own shower said otherwise.

"Uh huh, don't think I haven't seen the way you look at her. It's written all over your face," Thomas said as he glanced over at Rachel who just so happened to look their way at that moment. She looked away quickly. "It's written all over her face."

Jesse turned his head to see what his friend was talking about only to see Rachel talking with a small group of people. "We're just friends," Jesse said, trying to convince himself more than Thomas.

"Keep telling yourself that and eventually you might actually believe it," Thomas replied, grabbing his friend on the shoulder and squeezing it a bit.

Rachel could feel eyes on her so she turned her head to see Jesse looking at her as he talked to Thomas. This time, she didn't turn away like she had when Thomas had caught her looking at Jesse. She smiled at Jesse and gave him a small wave.

He returned her smile just before he said something to Thomas and started walking over to her. As he walked towards her, she blushed wildly as she remembered what she had done the night before and how she had fantasized about him. She hoped that he wouldn't notice how she could not stop blushing.

"Hi," she said, hoping that she didn't sound as nervous as she felt. She stepped away from the little group she had been chatting with so she could talk to him.

"Hi," he returned. "So I was thinking that maybe tonight you'd want to see one of my favorite places in New York." When Rachel hesitated he added, "I mean, that is if you don't have somewhere else to be later."

She thought the unsure expression on his face was absolutely adorable. So unlike the Jesse St. James that she had known. "Actually, my schedule is completely open tonight," she told him brightly. Donovan had told her before she'd left that morning that he was going out with some friends later that night and would be home late.

"Good. After rehearsals then," Jesse responded. Rachel nodded in agreement just as the director yelled for everyone to take their places as they were going to do a run-through of the opening number. Rachel smiled at Jesse before heading to her place on-stage. She could hardly wait to see where she and Jesse were going tonight.

* * *

Five hours later, after both Jesse and Rachel had showered and cleaned up, they met just outside the stage door. "So where are we going?" Rachel inquired as they walked side-by-side.

"Now where's the fun in that?" Jesse teased.

"Can I guess?" Rachel asked.

"You can try," he responded smugly.

"Can I eat there?" she asked. "Because I'm starving right now."

"In theory, one could eat there but it's not a restaurant," he answered vaguely.

"Can I get a drink there? Because I'd also like one of those."

"You could get one of those as well, but it's not a bar." He actually liked this little game of twenty questions they seemed to be playing.

Rachel huffed a bit in frustration. "Does it have trees?" she asked as Jesse attempted to hail a cab.

"No, it's not Central Park or anything _in_ Central Park. Or a park at all, for that matter."

"Does it have a great view?" Rachel wondered if it could be something outside of Manhattan. Perhaps in Brooklyn.

"I like to think it does, but it's not a view of the city," he replied cryptically.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're infuriating?" Rachel pouted.

"Has anyone ever told you that you should learn patience?" Jesse smirked. Rachel took slight offense to that. "Also, you're kind of terrible at twenty questions. You didn't even make it to ten questions."

Just then a cab pulled over towards the sidewalk and stopped for them. Jesse held the cab door open for Rachel and let her get in. Rachel expected him to tell the cab driver the address but he simply handed him a slip of paper which frustrated Rachel to no end.

Now she couldn't even narrow it down by the address that he told the driver. Rachel huffed and sat back against the seat.

Jesse chuckled. "Oh my God, I feel like you're about to explode." The only he response he got was a death glare. "Do you really want to know that badly?"

Rachel sighed. "I guess not," she replied, smiling sheepishly.

Jesse loved how melodramatic she could still be at times. Once a drama queen, always a drama queen. He leaned over towards her and patted her leg, "I promise that you'll love it, if that helps."

"It does," she conceded, trying to ignore how her skin was tingling where he'd just touched her leg.

Jesse had been right about her loving where they were going when the cab stopped outside of Carnegie Hall. She noticed that according to the marquee, there wasn't an event going on for the next few days. "Jesse, there's nothing going on here," she turned and looked at him, a bit puzzled.

He looked up from the text he was currently typing out on his phone and grinned at her. He soon got a response and put his phone away. "Come on," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him to the side of the building.

As they approached a door, it suddenly opened and an older man appeared. "Hey Jesse," the man said, as Jesse let go of Rachel's hand as they approached the door.

"Hey. Thanks for doing this for us," Jesse replied, as he shook the man's outstretched hand. "Peter, Rachel. Rachel, Peter," Jesse said introducing them.

"Nice to meet you, Peter," Rachel said, shaking the older man's hand.

"Peter pretty much runs this place," Jesse explained to Rachel as they walked inside.

"Jesse called me up this morning and asked me if I could do this for him. I was more than happy to help out," Peter explained, smiling at Rachel warmly. "Listen, it's all set up, you can just go on in," he said, turning to Jesse.

"Thanks, man. I owe you one," Jesse said, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"It was nice to meet you Rachel," Peter said, then he headed off in the other direction and was gone.

"What's set up?" Rachel asked, her interest piqued by Peter's cryptic words.

"You'll see," he said, grinning at her and grabbing her hand. He lead her through the darkened corridors, obviously knowing where he was going and then she saw bright lights shining up ahead. They walked through a large backstage area to emerge on the stage of the main auditorium at Carnegie Hall.

Rachel stopped walking and her hand slipped from Jesse's as she looked around the hall in amazement. All of the lights in the auditorium were off with the exception of the stage lights. "Oh my God," she breathed, almost reverently. "This is…" she started. She looked over at him to find him sitting at the grand piano at the center of the stage.

"Amazing," he finished for her. She nodded her head in agreement with his assessment. "Come sit with me," he said, motioning to the piano bench that he was currently sitting on.

Rachel sat down next to him and tinkered with the keys of the piano before looking at him.

"I was thinking it's been too long since we've sung together just for the hell of it," he explained.

Sure they had sung their duets in the show rehearsals, but Rachel understood perfectly what Jesse meant. "Over ten years," Rachel remarked. "What song did you have in mind?"

"Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now"," he replied.

"Ah, I love that song," Rachel sighed.

He began playing the opening chords of the song and nodded to her indicating for her to start the song. _Bows and flows of angel hair/And ice cream castles in the air _– she began the first verse. She looked at Jesse and smiled as he joined in – _But now they only block the sun/They rain and snow on everyone –_ harmonizing with her in the second part of the first verse.

Their voices sounded perfect together. Someone listening to them would have thought that they had rehearsed this duet by the way they executed it flawlessly. Their voices meshing perfectly on the chorus.

Rachel watched Jesse's hands move across the keys as he played the chords of the song and began to sing the next verse – _Moons and Junes and Ferris Wheels/The dizzy dancing way you feel_. She loved watching him play. It was beautiful. As he continued to sing – _As every fairy tale becomes real/I've looked at love that way _– she closed her eyes and just listened to him play and sing.

Opening her eyes, Rachel turned her head and looked at Jesse – _But now it's just another show/You leave them laughing when you go _– as she joined him in singing the second verse. Rachel looked away from Jesse and out towards the auditorium as she sang the next lines – _And if you care don't let them know/Don't give yourself away._

She imagined them singing this and other songs for a packed house as they sang the chorus once again. Not them as characters in a musical but Jesse and Rachel performing a concert for thousands of people.

As they began the last verse together – _Tears and fears and feeling proud/To say 'I love you' right out loud _– she smiled ruefully at him. The truth in the words of the song resonating through her.

It was like they were spellbound as they sang the final chorus together – _I've looked at life from both sides now/Win and lose and still somehow/It's life's illusions, I recall/I really don't know life at all _– belting out the first part of it only to finish the song with a soft, hushed tone.

They sat there for a moment afterwards, neither one of them saying a word, still looking in each other's eyes. "Are you hungry?" Jesse finally asked.

"Famished," Rachel admitted, cracking a smile.

"Good because there's pizza right over there," he pointed to the side edge of the stage. Rachel followed where he was pointing and could not believe that she had completely missed it when they had walked in.

"And beer," she added, grinning as she got up and ran over to the side of the stage to open the pizza box. There were even plates and napkins right next to the box.

Sitting on the edge of the stage, Rachel put a slice of pizza on both plates and handed one to Jesse along with a beer. "So how do you know Peter?" Rachel asked as she opened her beer.

"I met him one time when I came here for a concert during my NYU days. We started talking and struck up a friendship. He's a great guy and he lets me come here every once in awhile and do this," he explained, motioning towards the piano. "Although this is the first time that I've brought anyone else with me."

Rachel didn't know what to say to that. She was extremely flattered that she was the first and only person that Jesse had ever brought here. She couldn't believe he'd never brought Isla here. "Really?"

"Really," he replied, smiling at Rachel in a way that made her heart race. "You're the one person that I knew would love this as much I do."

She smiled at that before looking out at the darkened auditorium and asking, "Did you ever think that maybe Broadway would never happen for you?"

Jesse pondered her question before answering. "Yeah, I did," he told her honestly. Rachel was a little taken aback by his answer. That was not the answer that she had expected from the always confident Jesse St. James. He noticed her reaction, "Don't look so surprised."

"I just never imagined that…" she trailed off.

"What? That I'd doubt myself?" he asked.

"Well, yeah. Or doubt your talent," she replied.

"Rachel, as we both know, if talent was all it took to make it on Broadway then I would've been here a long time ago," he said. She nodded in agreement. "I auditioned _a lot_ my second year here in New York. I had to take a break for awhile," he explained.

"You surprise me, Jesse St. James," she said, smiling warmly at him.

"Why?" he wondered. Slightly perplexed by her reaction to his admission that he'd had doubts about whether his future actually _was_ on Broadway.

"The boy that I knew never would have admitted that," she told him.

"Believe me, I had similar thoughts when I was younger but I very rarely voiced them out loud. Besides, the boy you knew became a man." They sat there in comfortable silence for a few moments. Eating their pizza, drinking their beer and just enjoying each other's company.

"Can I tell you something?" Rachel finally asked as she finished eating. He nodded in response. "I was so jealous that you made it to Broadway before me."

"So now the truth comes out about why you ran away when I saw you at the stage door," he teased, remembering their conversation from the night before.

"That is not why," Rachel cried, incredulously, throwing her crumpled up napkin at Jesse causing him to laugh.

"I don't believe you," he said with an impish grin.

"Believe what you want," she scoffed as she jumped down from the stage to floor.

"Where are you going?" he asked as she began walking down the front row of seats.

"I want my own private concert," she told him as she walked over to the very center seat of the front row and sat down.

Jesse shook his head, smiling at her as he stood up and walked towards the piano. "Any special requests?" he asked.

"Your choice, since we don't have any sheet music," she replied.

So he sat down and thought about the various songs that he knew by heart for a moment. Finally deciding on one, his fingers hovered over the piano keys and he began playing. Rachel thought that she recognized the song. He looked at her as he began to sing and she immediately knew the song, "Baby Can I Hold You".

Seeing Jesse perform was still an amazing thing to behold. Sure, his voice was flawless, but it was the emotion that he put into the song as he sang it. It was almost like he was singing this song about himself and the relationship they once had. Rachel felt her heart ache at the thought.

When he began to sing the last verse – _I love you/Is all that you can't say/Years gone by and still/The words don't come easily/Like I love you –_ his gaze was so intense that Rachel wanted to look away but couldn't. Finally he turned his head and looked straight ahead then shut his eyes tight as he sang the chorus one final time and finished the song. He didn't look at her but at the piano as they sat in silence for a moment. Then she began clapping.

"Jesse, that was beautiful," she said, standing up and walking towards the edge of the stage.

He looked over at her and smiled. "Thanks." As she hoisted herself back onto the stage, he asked, "Are you ready to get going?"

"Sure," she replied. They cleaned up their dinner and got their stuff together. Jesse text-messaged Peter to thank him and let him know they were leaving, then led the way out of the backstage area and to the side alley. Instead of getting a taxi right away, they decided to walk for a little while and talk.

More than once, Rachel found herself wanting to reach for Jesse's hand and link her fingers with his as they walked down the street side-by-side. _Just friends_, she thought to herself. She wanted to believe that, but the more time she was spending with Jesse the less she was starting to believe that they could ever be just friends.

* * *

**Author's Note: **If you're curious by chance, the versions of the two songs that I imagined Jesse and Rachel singing are not the original versions of either of those songs. Clannad's version of "Both Sides Now" is what I was listening to when I wrote Jesse and Rachel's duet and Ronan Keating's version of "Baby Can I Hold You" is exactly how I imagined Jesse singing the song only with Jesse's voice, of course. And I know you guys are probably wondering when in the hell Jesse and Rachel are finally going to get there and I promise you it is just around the corner, sort of. I will do my best to make it worth the wait.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **So there's a bit of a time jump with this chapter because I wanted to move the story along a little more. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and given me feedback so far. I really appreciate. Keep it up because I love hearing from you and I love hearing your ideas as well. :) I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

A couple of nights before opening night, Jesse came home after hanging out with Rachel, just as he'd been doing nearly every day for the past three weeks. He had expected to come home to a dark, lifeless apartment like he always did but instead the lights were on when he unlocked the door and walked in.

He noticed that Isla wasn't in the living room or the kitchen so he headed for the bedroom only to find a suitcase on the bed and Isla walking out of the closet with some of her work clothes in her hand. "Hi," she said brightly.

"Hi," Jesse replied hesitantly, not sure what to make of what his wife was currently doing. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I have some meetings with some fashion designers in Paris and I'm leaving in the morning," she explained as she folded her clothes and placed them in the suitcase.

"What?" he asked, not sure if he'd heard her right. She looked up at him with an irritated expression in response to his question. "How long are you going to be gone for?"

"A week," she told him, not looking up as she continued to pack.

"Are you serious?" Jesse asked, raising his voice a little.

"Yes, Jesse. It's my job. Why are you upset?" she asked, clearly frustrated with her husband's questions.

"Because opening night is in two days," he exclaimed before storming out of the bedroom.

She rushed out of the room after him. "I'm sorry, but I forgot."

"Of course you did," Jesse mumbled as he poured himself a drink.

"What?" she asked, her annoyance evident.

"I said, of course you did," he replied, turning around and facing her.

"And what's that supposed to mean exactly?"

"It means, that clearly I am not half as important to you as your job," he sneered, taking a sip of his scotch.

"I'm not going to apologize for having a life outside of you and your Broadway career," she yelled.

"Please, Isla. You haven't been interested in _me_ or my Broadway career for quite some time," he scoffed. "Is it too much to ask for _my wife_ to be there to support me for one night? _One night_?" he yelled. He had to get out of that apartment, away from her. He set his glass down on the table by the door, grabbed his keys and walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

On the elevator ride down, he thought about calling Rachel but stopped himself. He shouldn't go running to her after having a fight with his wife. So he found Thomas in his contacts list and called him.

"Hey man," Thomas answered after a couple of rings.

"Hey, do you maybe want to meet me out for a drink?" Jesse asked.

"Sure," he agreed. "What's going on?" He knew that there had to be something wrong if Jesse was calling him at nearly midnight to go grab a drink.

"I'll explain later," Jesse replied. Thomas told Jesse what bar to meet him at and twenty minutes later they were both sitting at the bar with drinks in their hands.

"I just have to ask. Was I the first person you thought to call tonight?" Thomas asked. He'd noticed Jesse and Rachel together at rehearsals over the last few weeks and he knew they had been spending a lot of free time together.

Jesse sighed and raked a hand through his hair before answering Thomas's question. "No," he told him, honestly.

"You wanted to call Rachel, didn't you?" Jesse nodded in response. "What are you guys doing?"

"Nothing," Jesse replied defensively. "We're just… friends."

"Jesse, you know that's not true," Thomas said. "I'm not judging you, man. I just think you're in some serious denial."

"I'm not in denial," he said, looking away from his friend. "Trust me, I fight the urge to cross the line every time we're together but we're not going to do that. I don't want to do that to her."

"Do what? I'm pretty sure that she feels the same by the looks of it."

"I don't want to put her in a morally compromising position like that. I care about her too much to do that," Jesse explained.

"What if she wants to cross that line?" Thomas asked. It was a question that Jesse asked himself all the time.

"Honestly?" His friend nodded, wanting him to continue. "I don't know."

"Let's just hope for your sake and hers that you won't have to make that decision," Thomas said, patting Jesse on the back.

By the time Jesse got back home, it was almost two o'clock in the morning. He let himself in quietly and lay down on the couch, flipping his shoes off of his feet as he grabbed a blanket from the basket next to the couch. He really wished that they had a two bedroom apartment just for nights like this.

* * *

Jesse awoke the next morning with a bit of a hangover. He knew before he even went into the bedroom that Isla was already gone. After taking a shower, he got dressed and went into the kitchen to make some coffee to take with him to the theater. He thought that perhaps his wife would have left him a note or something but there hadn't been anything in the bedroom, bathroom or kitchen.

He didn't know why he was surprised. He doubted that she would even call him while she was on her business trip. If she was angry enough at him, she could go days without saying a word to him. And that was when they were in the same apartment, sharing the same bed.

An hour later, Jesse arrived at the theater for their final dress rehearsal. He put all thoughts of his troubled marriage out of his mind as he got into character. Seeing Rachel's beautiful, smiling face helped with that as well.

Rehearsals couldn't have gone any better than they did. It made Jesse even more confident that opening night was going to be amazing.

Afterwards, as Jesse was leaving his dressing room, he saw Rachel waiting in the hallway for him. She grinned when she saw him. They left the theater together, talking about the upcoming show when she suddenly blurted out, "What's bothering you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You just didn't seem like yourself today," she explained. "You were still amazing in rehearsal, but it was kind of like your mind was somewhere else some of the time. So I was wondering what was wrong."

Jesse debated if he should tell her or not. Finally, he decided to just be honest with her. "Isla's not going to be here for opening night."

"Why not?" she asked in disbelief.

"She had to fly to Paris for some meetings and she'll be there for the next week," he told her.

Rachel stopped Jesse by grabbing his arm lightly. "Jesse…"

"Whatever. It shouldn't have surprised me," he said, bitterly.

Rachel just looked at him for a moment before wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

Jesse wrapped his arms around her and gave her a little squeeze. "Thank you," he whispered before releasing her from his grasp as she stepped back. "Do you wanna hang out at my place tonight?"

Rachel didn't even have to think about it before replying, "I'd love to. I'll finally get to see where you live."

Ten minutes later, Jesse was unlocking his front door and letting Rachel inside. "I like your night doorman," Rachel said about the man that she'd met moments earlier. "He's really nice."

"I'll be sure to tell him you said that," Jesse said with a little wink. Flipping on a light switch, Jesse illuminated his apartment so Rachel could actually see it. "Would you like a glass of wine or something?"

"A glass of wine would be great," Rachel said, as Jesse headed towards the kitchen. She wandered around his living room while he got them both drinks and she noticed some pictures in the bookshelves. Walking over to the bookshelves, she looked at the pictures and noticed how happy Jesse and Isla looked in them.

"Here you go," Jesse's voice startled Rachel, making her jump slightly. "What are you looking at?" he asked as Rachel turned around and took the glass of wine from him.

"Just some pictures," she replied. Jesse looked at the photos in the frames in front of her and smiled ruefully. "You look so happy," she remarked.

"That was a long time ago," he told her. "A lot's changed since those pictures were taken." He paused for a moment. "She and I have changed."

Rachel could definitely relate to that. She felt the same way about her and Donovan. "Do you think you guys will ever get there again?"

"This is going to sound terrible, but I don't think so," Jesse confessed. "I just don't feel that way about her anymore."

"Oh," was Rachel's only response. She wasn't sure what else to say. What was she supposed to say to the man that she was falling for when he just admitted that he was all but giving up on his marriage?

"Can you believe that tomorrow is opening night?" Jesse asked, changing the subject. "It seems like just yesterday we were having our first rehearsal. I've never enjoyed rehearsals so much before in my entire life."

They walked over to his couch and sat down, discussing the show. They laughed about some of the things that their cast mates had done over the last six weeks and talked excitedly about how it was going to be to perform the show for the first time in front of a live audience. Before they knew it, it was almost midnight and Rachel was bidding farewell to Jesse.

Jesse walked into his bedroom after Rachel had left, falling back on his bed and slinging an arm over his face. He didn't know how he had managed, but all he could think about when they had been sitting on the couch was how much he wanted to be with her. It had taken every ounce of strength he'd had to not close the space between them and kiss her. He felt his resolve to not cross that line with Rachel all but disappear.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **Opening night is finally here! I know you guys have been waiting for this, among other things. I know some of you had wanted to see the rehearsals, but hopefully this chapter will make up for that. Again, thank you guys so much for the amazing reviews. I love seeing the review alerts, story alerts and favorite story alerts in my e-mail inbox. They bring a smile to my face. Please leave me some feedback on this chapter and let me know what you guys think.

* * *

Jesse woke up excited, and with a smile on his face, the day of the show. He was still pissed that the one person who was supposed to love and support him – his _wife_ – wasn't going to be there but he wasn't going to let that ruin what he was sure was going to turn out to be one of his favorite days. He lay in bed for a moment and his thoughts drifted from Isla to Rachel. He couldn't wait to see her. He was sure that she would be just as excited as he was.

He looked over at his phone on the nightstand and decided to send her a text.

_Breakfast? _was all it said.

Getting out of bed, he headed to the bathroom to jump in the shower and took his phone so he could hear when she sent him a text. He had just tugged his pants off when he got her response.

Smiling he looked to see what she'd written. _I'd love to. The Breslin in an hour?_

He typed out his response quickly, unable to stop grinning like an idiot. _Perfect._

Ever since they had become friends again – or whatever they were – she had become the best part of his day. He woke up every morning giddy, like a schoolboy, with the anticipation of seeing her face and talking to her and singing with her. He just wanted to be with her all of the time.

He took his time getting ready, knowing that he had plenty of time before he was actually supposed to meet her. When he started feeling a bit antsy and he still wasn't supposed to meet her for another thirty minutes, Jesse decided that he would just walk to The Breslin, since it was relatively close by, and work off some of the nervous energy that had been steadily building inside of him that morning.

As he walked down the street he thought about how he never got nervous, not really. Jesse St. James didn't do nerves and he hadn't since he was a kid. And if his nerves were about the show then that he could deal with, but they weren't. They were about Rachel.

She was all he seemed to think about lately. That morning was a perfect example. One of the first things he had thought of when he woke up that morning was meeting Rachel for breakfast. He wondered if it was the same way for her. He couldn't be the only one having those feelings. Whenever they were together, he felt it. He could see it when she looked at him. Jesse was just thankful that kissing her was part of his job, otherwise he might not have been able to keep up the façade as long as he had so far. Granted, a scripted kiss and love scene in front of an audience wasn't what he _really_ wanted but if it kept him from doing something foolish then so be it.

He got to the restaurant ten minutes early and went ahead and got a table, then he text messaged Rachel that he already had a table for them. While he waited, he ordered some tea and did his best to relax. Thankfully, it appeared to be working until he looked up and saw Rachel walking over to the table with a bright smile on her face. His heart skipped a beat.

"Good morning," Jesse said as she sat down across from him.

"Morning," she replied, still grinning happily. He was about to say something when she rushed out, "I'm so excited. You know, you would think that being this excited would have kept me from sleeping last night but that was not the case at all. I slept like a baby. Although it could've been those glasses of wine that I had at your house that helped me sleep. It would have been a disaster if I was not well-rested for opening night."

Jesse thought her rambling was adorable so he let her continue to tell him all about her morning and how she had been about to text message him about breakfast when he had sent her the text. If he didn't know that Rachel would never drink coffee on the day of a such a crucial performance, then he would've sworn that she'd had at least ten cups before she even got to the restaurant.

Finally she said, "I think that this should become a tradition."

"What should become a tradition?" Jesse asked, an amused smile on his face.

"Breakfast. Once a week. Just the two of us," she explained.

"I like that idea. Always The Breslin or a new place every week?" he inquired with a quirk of his eyebrow and his mouth crooked up in a half smile.

"Let's see how we feel next week." She motioned for the waiter so they could give him their order then she turned back to Jesse with a brilliant smile on her face.

Once she had turned back around, he replied, "Sounds like a plan."

Then Rachel added, "Although, we reserve the right to change the venue whenever we feel so inclined."

"Agreed," Jesse said.

As they ate breakfast, Rachel seemed to relax just a bit even though they were discussing their upcoming opening night performance. And since they didn't have to be at the theater for hours they decided to spend the rest of the day together just enjoying the city.

* * *

Once they got to the theater, they went their separate ways to get ready for the show. As Rachel was in her dressing room getting ready, one of the PA's knocked on her door and said that the director wanted the entire cast onstage. Rachel scanned the stage for Jesse once she got there, but didn't see him so she just stood by one of the other girls towards the front. Then she felt an arm drape across her shoulder and she looked up to see Jesse smiling at her as he gave her shoulder a little squeeze.

"You guys have put in a lot of hard work over the last couple of months. We've ironed out all of the kinks in rehearsals and the last couple of weeks have been flawless," the director said to the group. Rachel leaned into Jesse and wrapped her arm around his waist as the director continued to talk.

"We have two amazing leads that are going to set that stage on fire tonight. I don't know if I've ever seen two people with more chemistry than you two. The audience is going to love it," the director said, pointing to Jesse and Rachel who were both beaming but did not let go of each other. Jesse noticed Thomas raise his eyebrows at Jesse when he noticed how he and Rachel were standing. Being affectionate was so common in theater that most of their cast didn't even bat an eye, but after Jesse's confession to Thomas a couple of days earlier, he knew that it wasn't innocent affection. And even if Jesse had never made that confession to him, Thomas knew Jesse well enough to know that he was _never_ that friendly or comfortable with any of his co-stars. That just wasn't how Jesse worked.

"All of you make up one of the best casts I've ever had the pleasure of working with. It's not very often that a director is given such a wonderful gift. You've worked your asses off and tonight you'll reap the rewards of that hard work you've all put in. So when that curtain goes up tonight, I know you're going to knock 'em dead," the director continued.

Rachel leaned her head on Jesse as they continued to listen intently and finally broke apart as everyone began clapping when the director had finished his speech to the entire cast and crew. They all did their vocal warm-ups onstage before everyone trickled off in various directions to continue to get ready for the show.

* * *

Thirty minutes before the show was due to start, there was a knock on Jesse's dressing room door.

"Come in," he called. "Rachel," he breathed, surprised when she walked through the door. He had seen her in costume during dress rehearsals but she looked absolutely breathtaking at the moment.

"I still have to finish getting my makeup done," she said, pointing towards her face. "But I just had to come see you before the show," she explained, shutting the door behind her. "For luck," she added.

"You look fantastic," he said as she walked towards him. "The 1940s would have suited you."

"Thanks," she replied, looking up at him almost shyly. "You look pretty great yourself, you know." She thought he looked so dashing in the military uniform he was currently wearing.

"Well, I always do so that's nothing new," he joked. She gave him a playful shove. Catching her hand in his, he kept her from stepping away. "You know they're gonna love us, right?"

She nodded. "Because we're going to be great."

"We are going to be _better_ than great," he corrected. They stood there just looking at each other for a moment, before Jesse realized he was still holding her hand in his own. Releasing it suddenly, they both took a step back.

"I probably need to go," Rachel said, motioning towards the door. She began backing away, still looking and smiling at him.

"Break a leg," he told her as she reached for the doorknob.

"You too." Then she was gone. He had been telling her the truth. They were going to be wonderful on that stage together. The world was finally going to see just what Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James could do together.

* * *

As Rachel stood waiting in the wings of the stage for the curtain to rise up, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves and looked across to the other side to see Jesse apparently doing the same. It didn't quite work as well as she had hoped it would, but then he turned his head, looked at her and smiled and she felt that little bundle of nerves, that she had been unable to get rid of all day, dissipate.

She watched as Jesse walked out onto the stage, that looked like a USO cantina from World War II, to open the show and sing the beginning part of the opening number as the rest of the cast slowly made their way onto the stage to join him in a way that made it seem like the cantina had just opened. The dancing was flawless, the singing was pitch-perfect.

When Jesse and Rachel's characters had their first meeting fifteen minutes into the show, it was like the audience and everything else melted away once they locked eyes and touched hands. As they sang their first duet on opposite sides of the stage, they were both glad that their characters were supposed to be gazing at each other from across the room because they could barely tear their eyes away from each other.

Rachel felt butterflies in her stomach as the moment of their characters consummating their relationship finally arrived. The words flowing easily from their lips, the chemistry palpable between them. When his lips met hers on the bed, Rachel nearly forgot about the audience watching them in this intimate moment. She lost herself for a moment when he thrust against her as they began to simulate the sex scene, slipping her tongue into his mouth and actually grazing his tongue with hers. Realizing her momentary lapse, she quickly resumed their stage kiss as they continued their love scene. For the rest of the scene, she did her best to ignore Jesse's slight arousal or the way he grabbed her ass and thrust against her even more firmly causing her to gasp just enough so that only Jesse could hear her.

After that, the rest of the show was a blur. She knew that she had nailed the all-female group number that she had led. She had poured her soul into the heart-breaking solo where the audience is led to believe that the two lovers will never see one another again because her beloved may have died in battle. And the final, jubilant number where they're reunited again was perfect. The emotion of the characters, all over their faces as they sang and danced in each other's arms.

As the stage lights went down, the audience erupted into loud, raucous applause. They took their bows and got to see the entire audience on their feet giving them a standing ovation which lasted for nearly five minutes. Rachel felt Jesse link his fingers through hers and give her hand a little squeeze as they all went to bow again for the still standing and applauding audience. Rachel knew that her dads and Kurt – _and Donovan_, she mentally chastised herself – were out in the audience and she couldn't wait to hear what they all had to say after the show.

Finally, the curtain went down and the entire cast exploded with cheers. Jesse wrapped his arms around Rachel, picking her up and spinning her around in a tight hug. Then they were swept apart by their fellow cast mates as everyone congratulated each other on such a spectacular opening night.

* * *

When she had been unable to locate Jesse again, Rachel had gone back to her dressing room and lounged on the couch, smiling at how wonderful she felt at that moment. The response they had received from the crowd had been exhilarating. Rachel wasn't sure that any opening night for the rest of her life would ever feel that good. She had never felt anything like it in the world.

Her dressing room door opened slowly without a knock, and Rachel was about to yell at whoever it was that it was polite to knock on someone's door and wait for an answer before entering, but then Jesse's head popped in. She should have known it was him. Only he would have the audacity to just presume that it was okay for him to walk right in. She couldn't be mad at him though and she grinned as she got up from the couch.

He shut the door behind him and they both started laughing giddily. "Rachel, that was incredible," Jesse exclaimed happily. "You were enchanting on that stage. It was magical."

"No, _we_ were magical," she corrected, still grinning from ear-to-ear. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him in a big hug. She had already established for herself that hugging, even when they were alone, was okay when it came to keeping things platonic. She just shouldn't linger too long. As she went to extricate herself from Jesse's arms, she felt him hold her there, not letting her out of his grasp.

Rachel looked up into his eyes and audibly gulped at what she saw there. This was why she should have stopped spending time with him after that first night that they hung out. He wasn't smiling anymore. His face had taken on a different emotion all together: lust.

The next thing she knew his lips were on hers in a hard, bruising kiss. He pulled her flush against him with one hand as his other buried itself in her hair as he deepened the kiss. Rachel's emotions waged war inside of her as she kissed him back and tasted him on her tongue. This kiss was so unlike the one they had shared onstage. It was full of guilt as much as it was long, unexpressed desire.

Her practical, moral side won out in the end as she shoved Jesse away from her forcefully. He looked at her with a pained, guilt-ridden expression on his face. She knew that he had just crossed a line that he had been trying not to cross and he was going to beat himself up for it. "Rachel…" he started, hoping that she would let him apologize.

Rachel brought her hand up to touch her now swollen lips. "You need to go," she said softly, staring at him. She couldn't believe what they had both just done.

"I'm–" he tried to explain but she cut him off before he could say anything more.

"Please," she pleaded with him, backing away from him slowly.

Jesse nodded his head and with one last look at her, he opened the door and walked out, closing it behind him.

Rachel sat down in front of her dressing room mirror, unable to look at herself, her hand still touching her lips. She felt numb, the feeling of elation from just moments ago, gone. It was funny how in the blink of an eye, your whole world could change. And how things that could once be ignored and denied, could be no longer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **So I had hoped to have this posted sooner than today but life has kept me busy the last few days. I didn't actually intend for this chapter to be as long as it is but my fingers just couldn't stop typing. Thank you guys for the amazing response to the last chapter. The reviews and story alerts and favorites seriously make my day, so please let me know what you think about this one.

* * *

Rachel nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a knock on her dressing room door. She didn't know how long she had been sitting in that same position after she had asked Jesse to leave but it felt like hours. She looked at herself in the mirror, and satisfied with the showface she was able to plaster on, she walked over to the door and opened it.

She was immediately swept up in a hug by one of her dads while her other dad, Kurt and his boyfriend, Daniel, all cheered excitedly. She looked around for Donovan as Kurt enveloped her in his arms, squeezing her tightly. Then she saw Donovan off to the side, not celebrating with her friends and parents.

"Oh my God, Rachel, that was just…" Kurt exclaimed. "I'm just speechless. It was so amazing. _You_ were so amazing."

She felt the elation that she'd had before she and Jesse had kissed finally start to return as she celebrated with everyone. Donovan approached her with a forced smile on his face, she refused to let him bring down her mood. So she tried to pretend that the smile on his face was genuine.

"Congratulations," he said quietly, before placing a quick kiss on her lips and hugging her briefly.

"Thanks," she replied, forcing a bright smile on her face as she looked at him once they pulled apart. She turned and looked at her daddy who she still had not hugged. He had such a look of pride as he wrapped his arms around Rachel and picked her up in a big hug.

"I'm just so proud and lucky to call you my little girl," he whispered before placing a kiss on her cheek. "You were so wonderful." Rachel felt tears prick the corner of her eyes as she and her daddy held onto each other tightly.

"I love you daddy," she whispered back, kissing him on the cheek as he finally set her back down on the ground. He handed her a large bouquet of flowers before taking his husband's hand in his.

"I was hoping to see Jesse back here so I could congratulate him on such a fantastic performance," her dad said, looking around the hallway for Jesse.

"I'm sure he's getting changed so he can head over to the after-party," Rachel told him nonchalantly, hoping that her voice or face didn't betray her. "Which I actually need to do."

"Of course, honey. We'll wait for you outside," her daddy said before leaning down and kissing her on the cheek one more time. She glanced over at Donovan who she couldn't believe had still only said one word to her this entire time. Anger began to slowly build inside of her as she hugged him and told him she would see him outside in a bit, and the only response she got was a nod.

Rachel walked into her dressing room and leaned against the door as she shut it, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. She resolved to not let Donovan and his inability to not make every little thing about him get to her and ruin her night. If he wanted to be juvenile and act like a complete jerk then that was his prerogative.

As for Jesse, she had almost completely forgotten about the after-party. She knew it was going to be hard but she needed to try and forget what had happened in the privacy of her dressing room. At least for tonight. She needed to act normal, like nothing had changed. Like nothing had happened. She hoped that she would be able to pull it off.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, as they walked towards the restaurant where the after-party was being held, Rachel tugged on Donovan's arm as she slowed almost to a halt in order to get out of earshot of her friends and family. "You know you're an actor Donovan, the least you could do is _act_ excited for me," she hissed.

"I _am_ happy for you," he replied. His response was so unconvincing that Rachel thought that maybe his terrible acting skills were the reason he hadn't been cast in a lead role yet. She wanted to feel bad for even having such a thought about her fiancée, but she just couldn't. Especially not after the way he had been acting, not just tonight, but lately.

"Just do me a favor, try to be a little more convincing than that at the party," she said with disgust, and she let go of his arm and rushed up to walk with Kurt and Daniel.

Squeezing in between the two of them, she linked arms with both of them. "Have I told you both how happy I am that you're celebrating this night with me?" she asked, smiling up at them.

"There was no way we were going to miss this one," Daniel said, bumping her lightly.

"Especially with Jesse St. James as your co-star," Kurt teased as he leaned towards her conspiratorially which caused Rachel to shoot him a death glare.

"I still can't believe you used to date him way back in high school," Daniel remarked. Rachel noticed Kurt lightly shaking his head at Daniel as if he should not have said anything. "It's a small world."

"It really is," Rachel agreed.

"What?" Daniel asked, looking at Kurt who was still shaking his head.

Kurt looked behind them to see Donovan was still out of earshot. "Donovan doesn't know anything about Jesse and Rachel pre-Broadway," he explained in a hushed tone.

"How can he not know? I mean surely your dads have slipped up," Daniel said.

"Well, we haven't spent much time with my dads over the years but no, they've never slipped up," she told him.

"What are you going to do if some journalist finds out when they're doing a story about the two Tony-nominated leads of the most successful musical Broadway has seen in years?" Kurt asked.

Rachel couldn't help but smile at Kurt's prediction for the show and her and Jesse, but she had also wondered and worried about some journalist digging up her past. "I'd really rather not think about that right at this moment."

"Fair enough," Kurt agreed. "So I talked to Mercedes the other day and she told me to tell you how happy she is for you and that when she can get some time off she's coming to New York to see the show," Kurt said, changing the subject.

"How is Mercedes?" Rachel asked about her old New Directions team mate. For the next block or so, until they reached the restaurant, they chatted about Mercedes and how life was treating her back in Ohio.

* * *

The moment they walked into the party, without even realizing what she was doing, Rachel scanned the crowd to find Jesse. When she did find him, he was already looking at her and he smiled as their eyes met. Her heart skipped a beat as she returned his smile.

As she and Jesse continued to stare at one another across the room – not unlike their fictional counterparts had done earlier in the evening – her vision was suddenly filled with the face of the show's director. "Rachel!" he exclaimed happily.

Rachel let go of Kurt and Daniel and greeted the man, air kissing both cheeks. "Is this your family?" he asked, looking around at the men surrounding Rachel.

"It is. Well, family and friends," she replied, smiling proudly. "This is my very best friend from high school, Kurt Hummel," introducing Kurt who was the closest.

"Very nice to meet you, Kurt. Edward Russell," the director said, shaking Kurt's hand. Rachel then proceeded to introduce the director to Daniel, then her dads and finally Donovan.

"Ah, the fiancée," he winked good-naturedly at Donovan who merely managed a thin smile. "You've got one special woman here, Donovan," Edward said, putting his arm around Rachel's shoulders and squeezing lightly. Donovan started to smile genuinely until Edward carried on his praise of Rachel, "She's going to be one of biggest and brightest stars that Broadway has ever seen. Tony awards, accolades, people fighting over casting her in their show. She's going to be an unstoppable force."

Rachel saw the smile start to slip on Donovan's face as he listened to Edward, but he managed to recover and smile even bigger. The smile didn't reach his eyes. Rachel hated him in that moment. She had never realized how much her success had wounded his pride until she saw his reaction to Edward's praise.

Moments later, Edward excused himself and Rachel introduced her friends and family to some of her other cast mates that were nearby. They had been at the party for nearly half an hour when Jesse finally approached the small group. He had wanted to give Rachel her space after his lapse in judgment earlier. He hadn't wanted to do that to her, put her in that position but in that moment, in her dressing room, it had felt… _right_.

"Sorry to interrupt," Jesse said, standing next to Rachel. "I just wanted to come over and say hi." Rachel looked up at him, her eyes wide with slight panic. He knew that Donovan was unaware of their history so he wouldn't know that Jesse already knew everyone except Kurt's boyfriend, so he played along for Rachel's sake.

"Hi, I'm Jesse St. James," he said, sticking his hand out to her dad in greeting and shaking it. At first her dads both looked at Jesse, puzzled by the reintroduction but quickly recovered when they saw the look on their daughter's face. Rachel seemed to relax a bit as Jesse introduced himself to everyone.

"You know, we're big fans, Jesse," her daddy said.

"Rachel's told me," he replied, looking at Rachel who only smiled at him weakly. He deflated just a bit. This was what he had been afraid of the moment their lips had parted. The awkwardness. He wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I have to say," Kurt chimed in, "that this is my favorite role that you've done. It was like the lead roles were written for you and Rachel to play them."

"Well, Rachel helps make my job very easy," he told the small group.

"Now Jesse's just being modest," Rachel finally piped up, trying to be as natural as possible. "Which I didn't even know he had that in him until now," she teased. Everyone laughed, including Jesse.

"Gee, thanks. See what I have to put up with?" he joked, turning to Rachel's dads. Just then a photographer approached Jesse and Rachel.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but can I borrow you two for a bit? We just wanted to get some shots of you for the paper," the photographer asked.

"Sure," both Jesse and Rachel agreed. Jesse told everyone in Rachel's group how great it was to meet them and how he hoped to see them all again soon before excusing himself to go take some photos with Rachel. As soon as they were standing where the photographer wanted them, Jesse slung his arm around Rachel's shoulder, pulling her into him. He felt her body tense at the contact.

He didn't know about Rachel but it was like an electric current was pulsing through his body where his fingertips brushed against the bare skin of her arm as they both smiled for the photo.

Rachel felt like her skin was fire where Jesse touched her arm. Her body was humming at being in close proximity to his once again. She thought her heart might beat out of her chest it was thumping so hard. She continued to smile for a few more photos before the photographer thanked them and walked away.

Jesse let go of her and took a small step away from her. "Rachel, listen…" he began.

"Not tonight, Jesse. Okay?" she asked him gently, hoping that he wouldn't persist.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed. "Go hang out with your family." He managed a small smile before he went off to find Thomas. Rachel just stood there and watched as he made his way through the crowd and fought the overwhelming urge to go after him.

Kurt looked over towards where Rachel and Jesse had been taking photos and noticed Rachel standing there all alone. She had been acting strangely all night and he needed to know what was wrong. So he walked over to where she was, and pulled Rachel off to the side so they could have some privacy. "What's going on with you?"

She looked around to make sure that no one was within earshot. "Jesse and I kissed," she confessed.

"Yeah, everyone in the theater saw that Rachel. It was pretty intense," he replied with a smirk.

She looked at him as if to say "really?" which wiped the smirk right off his face. "After the show, we were in my dressing room and he kissed me…and I…kissed him back," she explained, unable to look Kurt in the eyes.

"Rachel, he's _married_ and you're _engaged_," Kurt said, pointing out the obvious.

"I am aware of that, Kurt," she retorted, irritably.

Kurt held his hands up in surrender. "Just stating the facts." He didn't say anything more in hopes that Rachel would just explain.

"We've been spending a lot time together. Jesse and I," she explained.

"Uh huh," Kurt prodded needing more than that from her.

"And we've grown really close. He's still the boy I knew in so many ways, but… he's just such a wonderful man, Kurt," she gushed, only to blush furiously as she realized how she was talking about a man that was only supposed to be her friend and co-star. Nothing more.

Kurt raised his eyebrows in amusement at Rachel then he placed his hands on her shoulders so she would look at him. "You know I love you and you are my best friend, right?" Rachel nodded as she looked up at him and smiled, unshed tears filling her eyes. "I will always support you no matter what. Just be careful." He kissed her on the cheek before he wrapped his arms around her in a hug, letting Rachel take deep breaths to try and keep herself from crying.

When he felt her relax, he released her from his arms and they went to find the rest of their group.

* * *

Having said good-bye to Kurt, Daniel and her dads after they left the party, Rachel noticed Donovan eyeing her suspiciously as they waited on the curb for a taxi. "What?" she asked, exasperated.

"It's interesting," Donovan replied, cryptically.

"What's interesting?" She was so irritated by him right now. He had done everything he could to ruin a fabulous night for her and she'd had to put on a showface to hide the cracks in their relationship from everyone around them at the party.

"You hang out with Jesse for weeks like you two are old drinking buddies from college, yet here tonight you hardly said two words to him," he remarked, a little too casually for Rachel's liking.

She felt the panic rise up in her chest. She was not a cheater. She had never been a cheater. Yet here she was, a cheater. Rachel was about to reply when Donovan suddenly said, "You hate him don't you."

"What?" Slightly taken aback by his statement. "No, I don't hate him," she replied, nearly breathing a sigh of relief that Donovan thought that she just disliked Jesse.

"Rachel, you can be honest with me. It's not like I'll ever tell him. His ego is actually bigger than you thought and it turns out that he's a complete dick, right?" Rachel didn't know whether to be completely pissed off that this was the first time all evening that he was even actively engaged in a conversation or that the conversation that he was so engaged in was about him thinking that Jesse was a complete jerk.

"No, Donovan, that's not it," she sighed in frustration as a taxi pulled up in front of them. She yanked open the door and got inside the taxi, giving the driver the address of their apartment.

"Well, then what's your problem?" Donovan asked as he got into the cab and shut the door.

"Really, Donovan? You want to talk about barely saying two words all night?" she turned to him angrily. "I asked you before we even got to the after-party to please act as though you were happy and excited for me, but you couldn't even do that much."

"Please Rachel, everyone there was singing your praises. Did you really need me to add to it?" he sneered.

"It would just be nice if every once in awhile you would support me rather than resent me for what I'm doing," she retorted.

"I do support you. I was there tonight, wasn't I?" he spat bitterly. "Do you need me to stroke your ego for you now too?"

"You're such a fucking asshole," she hissed. "I don't want you to do anything for me." Turning toward the front of the cab she said, "Excuse me sir, you'll be making two stops." She gave him the address for Kurt's apartment.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, Rachel," Donovan scoffed as she sat back and turned to look out the window. They sat there in silence for a few moments. "Are you _seriously_ giving me the silent treatment?"

"I have nothing to say to you right now," Rachel said in disgust, not bothering to turn around to look at him. Then Rachel ignored him until the cab stopped in front of Kurt's building.

"Unbelievable," Donovan huffed as she opened the door to get out. Without saying a word to him, Rachel slammed the cab door and walked towards the entrance to the building. She breathed a sigh of relief and let the tears fall as she heard the cab pull away just before she walked into the lobby.

The concierge recognized her and told her that she could go on up to Kurt's apartment. Once she was upstairs, she knocked on Kurt's door softly. "Rachel," he said in surprise as he opened the door to find her standing there.

He took in her tear-stained cheeks as she looked up at him with tears continuing to fall from her eyes. "Can I stay here for a few days?" she asked pitifully.

"Do you even have to ask," he responded before pulling her into his apartment and wrapping his arms around her tightly, letting her cry.

* * *

For the next couple of days, the only words that Rachel and Jesse spoke to each other were the words of their characters. They had become an integral part of each other's lives again in such a short span of time, and now the virtual lack of communication between them was killing them both, especially Rachel. Ever since her fight with Donovan she'd been staying with Kurt and every time she saw Jesse she wanted to tell him everything but she just couldn't. Not with the way things were between them.

Rachel finally decided that she and Jesse needed to talk. They needed to get over the awkwardness since their kiss. As she was walking down the hall backstage towards his dressing room, she ran into him.

"Hey, I was just coming to find you," he said with an unsure smile.

"Yeah, we need to talk," she replied, then looked around the backstage area nervously. "But not here."

"We can go to my dressing room," he told her. So she followed him to his dressing room and once inside, closed the door behind her gingerly. "You first," he said, sitting down on the couch.

She wasn't sure if she should sit down as well or stay where she was. "You can sit down, you know," Jesse said, interrupting her thoughts. "I won't bite." Then with a bemused expression he added, "Or kiss you, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm so glad you find this all _so_ amusing," she exclaimed dramatically as she sat down on the other end of the couch. She was glad when he looked at her contritely. "I want things between us to go back to the way they were before opening night."

She expected him to at least think about what she had said. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that," he replied almost immediately, much to her dismay.

"Why?" She felt herself begin to panic.

"Because I can't pretend to just be your friend anymore," Jesse explained. "I can't." When she didn't say anything he continued. "I've done a lot of thinking over the last few days and I asked myself if I would take it back if I could. Go back to pretending like we both don't feel something much more than friendship, and I won't do it. I don't want to."

"Jesse," she began, mulling over his words a bit. "Are you telling me that you want to have an affair with me?"

"Rachel, that's not–" he started, before Rachel cut him off as she shot up off the couch and started pacing.

"You can't ask me that," she cut him off, not sure if she wanted him to finish whatever it was that he had been about to say. "What am I supposed to say to that?"

"I don't expect you to say anything." He looked up at her with a pained expression on his face.

"Don't look at me like that," she admonished before turning away from him.

He got up off of the couch and went to stand behind her. Rachel could feel his body heat. He was so close but he wasn't touching her. "I'm just telling you how I feel. But I promise, when we're not onstage, I won't touch you like that again until you ask me to."

She wanted to tell him in her usual dramatic fashion that she would never ask him to, but she knew that wasn't true and she knew that he knew that. So she merely nodded without turning around to look at him and walked out of his dressing room, leaving Jesse unsure of where they were supposed to go from there.

* * *

Once Rachel got to Kurt's after the show, instead of going inside she decided she needed to go for a walk and do some thinking. Her feet had a mind of their own as she walked down the street. She thought about Donovan and how she hadn't talked to him in days. He had called her a few times, but she had ignored his calls. He knew better than to text message her when they had a fight as big as the one they were currently having.

Her mind wandered to Jesse and what he had said to her earlier in the evening about not wanting to pretend to be her friend anymore. She knew that he was right. It had been getting harder and harder to ignore the growing feelings she had for him. She wanted to be with him so desperately it hurt. But could she cheat on Donovan? Could she live with herself for having an affair with a married man?

Rachel knew that it was semantics at this point because really, she and Jesse had been having an affair from the first night they had hung out together. Granted, no real line had been crossed physically but it was a different story emotionally. As she continued to contemplate all things Jesse St. James, she suddenly came to a halt and looked up at the building she was standing in front of.

She had arrived at her moment of truth without even realizing that was where she had been headed. Rachel took a deep breath and walked toward the entrance of the building. She smiled at the doorman that she had met just a few days before as he let her inside. Her feet carried her to the elevator and she pressed the button to take her to the right floor.

Finally, Rachel stood in front of _his_ door, her hand hovering in front of it. Then she knocked.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I am so sorry about the cliffhanger. I will try and post the next chapter as quickly as possible. I promise that I'll make it worth the wait. ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **Just a fair warning that this chapter definitely deserves the M rating that this fic has, and it's not for strong language or violence. ;) I promised you guys that I would make the cliffhanger from the last chapter up to you, so hopefully this does just that. Thank you guys so much for all of the reviews last chapter and for making me laugh with your reactions to the cliffhanger. Please keep reviewing and let me know what you guys think. And I'm always open to ideas that I can incorporate into future chapters so let me know if there's something you'd like to see. Enjoy!

* * *

Jesse took his time changing after the show and was one of the last ones to leave the theatre that night. He had wanted to avoid seeing Rachel. He had said what he had needed to say when they had talked in his dressing room before the show and he didn't want to talk about it anymore. She knew where he stood and when she finally decided what she wanted to do about it, she knew where to find him. After spending a good twenty minutes signing autographs, taking pictures and talking to the fans, he finally headed home.

When he walked into his empty apartment, the only thing that illuminated the living room were the lights of the city that were dimly coming through the windows. He had to admit that he was really starting to like coming home to an empty house. There was a certain freedom about it. He still hadn't talked to Isla since she had left for Paris. He thought that he should probably feel guilty about the fact that he hadn't bothered to call her but he really didn't have anything that he wanted to say to her. Well, nothing nice, at least.

Jesse flipped on the light over the wet bar before he went over to the stereo and put his iPod in it, turning on one of his more melancholy playlists. Walking back over to the bar, Jesse poured himself a glass of scotch. Turning off the light, he took his glass of scotch and laid down on the couch, sipping on the drink as he listened to the music. He closed his eyes as Trespassers William's "Lie In the Sound" came on and listened to the lyrics – _I love you more than I should/So much more than is good for me – _as his thoughts turned to Rachel once again.

A knock on his door startled him suddenly, he bolted upright, and setting his glass down on the coffee table, went to answer the door. As he looked through the peep hole, he saw that it was Rachel who was standing on the other side of the door.

He quickly unlocked the door and opened it to see her looking up at him with such a desperate expression on her face. Jesse stepped to the side and opened the door wider in a wordless invitation for Rachel to come inside. The only words that filled the space between them were the lyrics of the song – _I am falling, say my name/And I'll lie in the sound/What is love, but whatever/my heart needs around_ – as it continued to play like a soundtrack for that moment as Rachel walked into Jesse's apartment and he shut the door behind her.

They just stood in the dim light that filled the room for a bit, just staring at each other silently. Neither one really knowing what to say. "Great song," Rachel finally said, breaking their silence.

"Rather poignant," Jesse said as he took a step closer to Rachel. "Why are you here, Rachel?" He knew what her coming to his apartment meant but he wanted her to say it.

She didn't respond right away as she listened to the song – _Oh but I know what I need/And if you were just near to me/Would you go.._. "You know why I'm here, Jesse," she replied quietly, walking further into his apartment, setting her bag down and slipping her shoes off.

"I need you tell me," he told her, not moving from the spot he had been standing in. He had told her that he would never kiss her or touch her like that unless she asked him to. He was going to stay true to his word. Keep his promise to her and himself.

"Kiss me, Jesse," Rachel practically begged. She didn't mean for her request to come out that way, but she didn't really care how she sounded just as long as he granted her request.

Jesse crossed the room to her in a few short strides and took her face in his hands, leaning down so their lips were almost touching. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly, searching her eyes.

If he hadn't been holding her in place with both of his hands then Rachel would have kissed him in response to his question, but instead she replied, "Completely."

Jesse surprised Rachel by kissing her slowly. Gently. Lovingly. He kissed her like they didn't want to rip their clothes off and fuck right there on the floor. Like they weren't burning with an uncontrollable desire for one another and they had all the time in the world. Like there was no one else but them. It was enough to drive Rachel insane, but he held her face in his hands still and was in complete control. She wanted his fingers and mouth and tongue to start exploring the contours of her body. She wanted them on her. In her.

Rachel grabbed a fistful of his shirt and tugged him closer to her. She felt his chiseled body beneath his t-shirt as she ran her hands down his chest and then down his stomach. Finally her fingers came into contact with his belt buckle and she quickly undid it, her fingertips barely grazing the bare skin that was exposed between the hem of his shirt and his jeans.

She had just unbuckled his belt when Jesse's hands grasped hers in his own before she could start to unbutton his jeans. "Not yet. We've waited too long for this to be just a quick fuck," he said, quietly.

"Jesse," she groaned in frustration. He cut off any further protest with an open-mouthed kiss and Rachel wasted no time thrusting her tongue into his mouth as he guided her backwards until her back came into contact with the hard surface of the kitchen counter.

The next thing Rachel knew she was on top of the kitchen counter and Jesse's lips were assaulting her neck. He lifted her shirt up as he ran his hands up her sides, pulling back long enough to pull it over her head. His lips found hers again as his hands began to massage her breasts and his thumbs grazed her nipples through her bra.

As they continued to kiss, he reached around her and deftly unclasped her bra. Pulling back, they just looked at each other as he grasped her bra straps and pulled it completely off of her. Jesse smiled at the way she unabashedly looked at him as she sat exposed before him, it was so different from the Rachel he had dated so many years ago. He had found that shy, inexperienced girl she had been to be beautiful, but the confident, sure-of-herself Rachel that he was looking at now was mesmerizing.

"You're wearing too many clothes," Rachel said as she reached down and lifted his shirt over his head. She wrapped her legs around his waist to get closer to him, their bare chests brushing against each other as they kissed hungrily. His lips left hers as he began making a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses down her throat and chest until he finally reached her breasts. Rachel fisted her hand in his hair as he kissed and licked and nipped one breast while he ghosted his hand over her other breast causing a myriad of sensations.

As his focus turned to her other breast, Jesse reached down to undo the jeans that she was wearing, his fingers working expertly as he undid the top button with ease and quickly unzipped them. She lifted off the counter as he tugged the jeans off of her. He splayed his fingers on her legs as he ran his hands up her thighs, his palms causing wonderful friction.

Rachel thought it only fair that if she was going to be clad in only her underwear then so should Jesse. So she reached down and undid his jeans, shoving them down his hips as far as she could before Jesse had to take them all the way off. She locked eyes with Jesse and smiled seductively as her hand trailed down his abdomen and past the waistband of his boxer-briefs.

"Rachel…" Jesse moaned as Rachel took him in her small hand and stroked him. They continued to stare into each other's eyes as Rachel quickened her pace. Jesse stopped her movements before she could give him release, grabbing her arm and gently pushing her back on the counter.

Rachel started to protest until Jesse tugged her panties down her legs and completely off of her. He hooked her legs over his shoulders, kissing his way up one of her inner thighs until he got to his destination. Rachel's breathing sped up in anticipation as she felt his breath on her.

"God, you are more perfect than I ever even imagined," he said, placing another kiss on her other thigh. He licked his lips as he thought of how she would taste. He parted her with his fingers and ran his tongue up her slick folds slowly until he reached her bundle of nerves and started sucking on it and flicking it with his tongue. He loved the way she tasted and the way she writhed under his ministrations.

Rachel was barely hanging on as she grabbed the edge of the counter and arched her back as his fingers and mouth worked expertly causing her body to jerk up at the sensations they caused. "Oh, God!" she cried out as she experienced one of the most mind-blowing orgasms she had ever had, her body shuddering with release. He slowly continued to lick her as her orgasm subsided, really tasting her.

He was so hard that it was painful. Slowly, he kissed his way up her body before Rachel grabbed his head and pulled his lips to hers. She could still taste herself as her tongue explored his mouth. It turned her on in ways that she'd never imagined and she was once again throbbing for him to touch her.

"Fuck me, Jesse," she whispered against his lips.

"Not here," he whispered back, before kissing her deeply once more. Rachel wrapped her legs around his waist as he picked her up. Luckily, he could find his bedroom with his eyes closed as he and Rachel continued to kiss each other breathless, almost like they were making up for all of the lost kisses that they might have had over the years if things had been different.

Finally they reached his bedroom and he slowly laid her down on his bed. He had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life than her gazing up at him with her chocolate-colored hair fanning around her head like a halo against his stark white comforter.

"What?" she asked with a hint of a smile as she reached up to caress his cheek.

Taking her hand that was caressing his face in his own hand, he kissed the palm of her hand softly. A soft "beautiful" was all he managed to say.

"So are you," Rachel said quietly. "Take those off and come here," she insisted, tugging on the waistband of the boxer-briefs that he was still somehow wearing. He did as she requested and removed the last remaining bit of clothing that he was wearing.

He settled between her legs and placed a soft, chaste kiss on her lips. She whimpered as she felt the tip of him brush against her lightly. Rachel thought she might die with the agonizing slowness with which he pushed into her. She wrapped one of her legs around him as he pushed her other knee up to her chest as he thrust into her again, more quickly this time.

"You feel…" Jesse said against her skin as she matched every one of his thrusts with one of her own. He had thought that she would be vocal and she didn't disappoint as she cried out loudly every time their bodies collided. He knew he would have marks down his back from the way her nails scraped down it. He didn't care. He wanted her to leave her mark on him.

"I'm so close," Rachel panted as their movements became more erratic. After a few more hard thrusts, Rachel was crying out in ecstasy for the second time in the last hour, only this time Jesse was experiencing his own orgasm with her. He kissed her breasts, her neck and her lips in silent worship as her body shuddered beneath him.

Roilling off of her, he lay down on the bed next to her as he tried to catch his breath. Rachel rolled over and draped her leg over him as she laid her head on his chest. They lay like that for a little while as she listened to his heartbeat begin to slow and he gently ran his fingers through her hair. Eventually, she scooted up the bed and laid her head down on the bed next to his, just watching him as he lay there with his eyes closed.

"You're staring," Jesse said, not opening his eyes and a hint of a smirk on his lips.

"I can't help it," she replied, brushing her fingers across his forehead causing Jesse to sigh in contentment.

"You know, it's a good thing you didn't lose your virginity to me back in high school," he said, his eyes still closed.

"And why is that?" she asked, a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Because every woman that I've been with would have been compared to you. None of them would have measured up," he told her, finally opening his eyes and turning to look at her.

"Trust me, the first time I had sex was not that great," she replied.

"I'm not talking about that, although with enough practice together it would've been…" he trailed off, a mischevious glint in his eyes. "I'm talking about the way you feel." He ran his hand down her stomach. "The way you taste." He kissed her neck and licked her skin to taste the salt on her skin. "The sounds you make." He unexpectedly dipped a finger inside of her causing Rachel to cry out in pleasure. "You're exquisite." He finally leaned down and captured her lips with his own, in a slow and sensual kiss.

Rachel hadn't been sure that her body could handle more so quickly and she certainly didn't think that he would be able to either, yet there she was rolling over on top of him and straddling him, both completely ready for more.

* * *

Rachel lay lazily on Jesse's chest afterwards, tracing invisible lines on his skin with her fingers. "It was because I saw you had a wedding band on," she blurted out suddenly.

Jesse looked down at her in confusion, not sure what she was talking about. When she didn't say anything further, he brushed his fingers through her hair and asked, "Care to elaborate on that very cryptic statement?"

She leaned on one elbow as she sat up to look at him. "The night that I saw you after your show. The night I ran away. It was because I saw that you were married," she confessed.

"Really?" He was surprised. He didn't know why he was surprised since they'd both obviously had lingering feelings for each other for years, but he was. "If it felt anything like when you told me you were engaged to another man," he couldn't bring himself to say his name. "Then I can understand why you didn't stick around to chat."

"Well, if you went back to your apartment and cried about it to one of your friends then…" she trailed off, looking down. Jesse ran his fingertips soothingly over her bare back. She inwardly cringed as she thought about how she had fantasized about Jesse while making love to Donovan that night. "Or if you had sex with your…" Rachel struggled with the next word but managed to get it out, "_wife_ while imagining it was me then that's how it felt."

"Does masturbating while thinking about you count?" he asked, trying to make her smile. It worked.

"You masturbated and thought about me the first night we hung out?" Her smile reached her eyes as they crinkled at the corners.

"And many other nights after that," he told her, leaning up and kissing her neck.

"Tell me about it," she panted as she felt his tongue dart out to taste her skin. "Your fantasies about me."

He pushed her back on the bed, effectively pinning her beneath him. "Why don't I just show you," he said breathlessly before claiming her lips with his own.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: **Since I've had so many questions regarding the title of the fic and if it will actually become part of the story, I thought I'd go ahead and clear things up for those who didn't ask the question but may be wondering. The lyrics in the song influenced this fic more than the title. It's just a title. I do not plan on having an unplanned pregnancy be the deciding factor in whether or not Rachel and Jesse leave their partners for each other. I want the decision to be made out of love, not obligation. Again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed and given me some great ideas. I love the reviews so please continue to let me know what you think!

* * *

Jesse woke up the next morning thinking that the night before had all been just a dream, but when he felt Rachel stir in his arms, he knew it hadn't been. He smiled as he listened to her snore softly as she continued to sleep. Their night together had been better than anything that he could have ever imagined. He closed his eyes and breathed her in as he tried to go back to sleep to stave off the coming day. To stay in their little bubble just a little while longer.

He slowly drifted back off again as he continued to listen to her breathing, relishing the feel of her warmth in his arms.

An hour later he woke up again to find an awake Rachel watching him sleep. "Good morning," she said softly, smiling at him. "You looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you."

"Good morning," he replied, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on her lips. "I'm so glad you're still here." He ran his fingertips along her bare arm that was exposed above the comforter which elicited goose bumps on her skin.

"Why wouldn't I still be here?" she asked him, leaning up on her elbow and looking down at him.

"Regrets?" he offered.

She leaned down so their lips were almost touching and replied, "Never." She kissed him slowly to emphasize her statement, teasing his tongue with hers as he deepened the kiss and threaded his fingers through her hair. After they pulled apart Rachel laid her head down on his chest and wrapped her arms around him. "I want to stay here with you all day. Call in sick to the show and actually make love to you rather than having to pretend in front of an audience full of people."

Jesse placed a kiss on top of her head. "So do I," he agreed. "But we can't. Plus, what would people say if we both called out sick a couple of days into the show's run?"

"We'd be Page Six fodder. Scandalous," she said, giggling slightly. "How are we going to do the love scene tonight?" she asked, beginning to wonder if people would be able to tell that they had actually been together just by the way they performed onstage.

"Rach, no one is going to suspect a thing," he reassured her. "Except maybe Thomas who's known that there is something between us for awhile now." Rachel looked up at him with wide eyes. "He would never say anything," he added quickly. "We've been friends for years. He would never do that to me."

Rachel relaxed in Jesse's arms as they continued to enjoy being close to each other. Her body ached from all the times they'd had sex the night before, but it was a good ache. The type of ache that made you feel completely satiated but also left you wanting more. "We should probably get up," she finally said, but didn't move a muscle.

"We should," Jesse agreed, but also continued to lie in the bed with Rachel in his arms. Sighing and realizing they better start moving he finally said, "How about I make breakfast and you can take a shower?"

"You won't be joining me?" she pouted, looking up at him.

"Tonight," he said huskily, trying to ignore the way he was hardening at the thought of taking a shower with her right now.

"Are you sure?" she asked seductively, reaching below the sheets and gripping him in her hands. She stroked him a couple of times, teasingly.

"God, Rachel," Jesse moaned, throwing his head back against the pillow. Then she pulled her hand away and slid out of the other side of the bed. "Really? You're going to do that and just leave me here?" he asked in disbelief.

"You can come join me," she said mischievously before disappearing into the bathroom.

Jesse groaned in frustration at how painfully hard he was. He listened to the water in the shower turn on and a minute later he heard Rachel begin to sing. He smiled as he listened to her sing then started laughing softly as he realized she was singing "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. He sighed heavily as he wished that this was his life.

"Jesse," he heard Rachel sing-song his name from the shower. Why he was still laying in bed when she so obviously wanted him in that shower with her was beyond him. He threw back the covers and quickly walked into the bathroom to see Rachel under the spray with her eyes closed, still humming, as she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. He opened the glass door and stepped in as quietly as he could.

Jesse grabbed the sides of her waist, and startled Rachel, as he stepped under the spray with her. "I knew you couldn't resist me," she said, running her hands up his chest and snaking them around his neck.

"Your voice was like a siren calling me," he teased.

"The acoustics in this shower are wonderful," she replied innocently, as she stood under the rain shower head. "You should try it sometime."

"Yeah, I'm not really thinking about singing right now," he said, pressing himself against her. She gasped in pleasure as he backed her up to the shower wall, so that the water was only beating on his back now.

Rachel hooked her leg around his hip in response as she felt him rub against her. Suddenly his mouth was on hers and their tongues were dancing as Jesse pushed into Rachel, filling her completely. He placed one hand on the stone wall of the shower for purchase as his other hand rested low on her back.

Throwing her head back with an "Oh my God" and closing her eyes, Rachel gripped Jesse's shoulders as he plunged into her deeply. Her back beat against the wall roughly with every thrust. She and Jesse were like a couple of horny teenagers that just couldn't get enough of each other. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had sex so many times in less than a day. Hell, she couldn't remember the last time she'd had sex this many times in an entire week.

Jesse kissed his way down Rachel's neck, scraping his teeth along her collar bone which elicited a deep moan of pleasure from Rachel. He held her lower back even tighter as he drove into her and felt her one leg that was planted on the floor start to quiver from her impending orgasm. A few more quick thrusts and Rachel was crying out as she came while Jesse continued to thrust into her. Feeling her clench around him as she rode the wave of her orgasm sent him tumbling over the edge right along with her.

They both stood unmoving against the wall for a moment, not trusting their legs to actually hold them up if they tried to walk. Jesse finally kissed his way up Rachel's neck until his lips met hers. Still trying to regain control of his breathing, he pulled back and looked at her with a smirk. "You weren't kidding about those acoustics," he said, grinning and winking at her.

* * *

Rachel sat on the kitchen counter, clad only in one of Jesse's dress shirts as she drank her cup of tea and watched him cook breakfast. She couldn't stop smiling. She was happy. Completely and stupidly happy. She pushed the thoughts of why it was so wrong to be this happy given their current situations to the furthest reaches of her mind, content to save those for another time. Another day.

She pulled a blueberry out of the bowl sitting next to her on the counter and popped it into her mouth. "Who knew you would one day turn out to be so domestic," she said as she watched him make Belgian waffles.

He turned around and narrowed his eyes at her. "I'll have you know that I have been a great cook since I was a kid," he told her, walking over to her and standing between her legs.

Rachel felt her heart do a little flip with the way he was looking at her, as he rubbed his hands along the tops of her thighs. "Oh, really?" she asked. "Didn't your parents have a housekeeper that cooked all of your meals?"

"Who do you think taught me how to cook," he replied, planting a kiss on her lips before he grabbed a blueberry out of the bowl and walked back over to the waffle maker to check on the waffle.

Just then Rachel heard her phone ringing in her bag where she had left it the night before. She froze for a moment as she thought that maybe it was Donovan calling her.

"Are you gonna get that?" Jesse asked, turning to look at her.

"Um, yeah," she said, jumping down off the counter and rushing over to her bag. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that it was Kurt who was calling her. She slid her finger across the screen to answer the call. "Hi, Kurt," she said in greeting.

"_Hi, Kurt?_" he asked, clearly annoyed. "Rachel, where in the hell are you?"

She looked over at Jesse who was watching her. She wasn't sure if she should tell Kurt that she had spent the night at Jesse's or not. She mouthed to Jesse whether she should tell Kurt that she was at his place and Jesse just shrugged in response and mouthed sure.

"Rachel? Hello?" Kurt's irritation increasing when she didn't answer him immediately. "Am I just talking to myself here?"

"I'm at Jesse's," she blurted out.

"You're where?" he asked, wanting to make sure that he had heard her right.

"I spent the night at Jesse's," she told him.

"Rachel…" Kurt began.

She cut him off before he could say anything more. "I don't want you lecturing me, Kurt. You promised. No judgments."

Kurt sighed before responding, "You're right. I'm sorry. So you're okay?"

"I'm better than okay," she told him, unable to stop the grin from spreading across her face as she looked at Jesse who had turned his focus back to the waffle maker again.

"Good," Kurt said, simply. "You know I'm not on Team Donovan after what happened opening night."

"Kurt," Rachel warned, not wanting to discuss any of that.

"I'm _on_ Team Rachel because you deserve better than that." She had to smile at that. "If he calls again tonight –"

"What did you say?" Rachel asked, keeping her voice low as she turned around and walked further into the living room.

"He called last night, wanting to talk to you. He said that he'd given up trying to call your cell phone since you haven't returned any of his calls and that he was hoping that I would help him out. Get you to talk to him," Kurt explained.

"And what did you tell him?"

"I told him that _you_ are my friend and when you are ready to talk to him that you'll call him, but that you didn't have anything you wanted to say to him at the moment," he finished.

"Thank you," she said, wanting to reach through the phone and hug her best friend. Not for lying for her because she actually felt bad that he was even put in that position, but for standing up for her to Donovan. "I'm sorry you had to lie for me."

"Don't worry about it. I would have told him the same thing if he would have called and you were sitting right next to me," he said. "So, how long are you going to be staying at Jesse's for anyways?"

"Just tonight. Isla gets back tomorrow evening," she told Kurt quietly.

Jesse couldn't help overhearing Rachel's conversation with Kurt. He felt a small pang of guilt for wishing that his wife would stay in Paris forever. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this happy and he knew that some of that would disappear once Isla returned home. But that was his reality. He wasn't married to Rachel. They didn't live together. They weren't free to do everything that they had done over the last twelve hours but that hadn't stopped them.

"Is it okay if I come get my stuff in a little while," Jesse heard Rachel ask. He heard Rachel laugh softly, "I promise we won't. Okay. Yes, I have my key, _dad_. Thanks, Kurt. I love you too." Jesse was glad that Rachel had someone like Kurt in her life. Someone she could confide in and trust completely to have her back.

"Everything okay?" Jesse asked as Rachel came back into the kitchen, setting her phone down on the counter before walking over to stand beside Jesse and wrap her arms around his waist.

"Yep," she said, sighing softly as Jesse wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "Are the waffles done because I'm starving and they smell delicious."

"They are. Go sit at the counter and I'll make you a plate," he said as he let go of her, smacking her butt playfully as she walked away to go sit on the other side of the island which caused Rachel to giggle. Leaning her head on her hand, she smiled dreamily as she watched him move around the kitchen.

"So did I hear you right? Are you staying here tonight?" he asked as he set the plate with a very large waffle, fruit and whipped cream in front of her and one for himself right beside her.

"If that's okay," she said, looking up at him hopefully.

"Of course it's okay," he replied, kissing her on the lips before he sat down next to her.

"So will you go to Kurt's with me so we can get my stuff and drop it off here before the show?" she asked, before biting into one of the most delicious waffles she had ever tasted.

"Sure."

She draped one of her legs over his as they continued to eat. "I made him a promise though." Rachel looked over at Jesse trying to suppress her grin.

"And what would that promise be?" he asked as he lay his free hand on her leg and rubbed his thumb back and forth absentmindedly.

"That we won't have sex in his apartment," she confessed, now grinning fully at him.

"I think I can keep that promise but based on the way you're smiling at me right now, I'm not so sure _you_ can," he teased.

"Oh, please, Jesse St. James. You're not _that_ irresistible," she quipped playfully.

"I beg to differ," he retorted with a smirk. "Especially now that you've had my waffles."

"They are pretty good," Rachel conceded, taking another large bite.

"I know," he said with a triumphant grin as Rachel gave him a little shove.

* * *

After managing to only make out a little at Kurt's, Rachel and Jesse dropped her things off at Jesse's before heading to the theatre. Jesse threaded his fingers through Rachel's as they rode in the back of the cab in comfortable silence.

Squeezing his hand gently, she looked at him and smiled before placing a lingering kiss on his lips. "Are you absolutely positive that our personal involvement isn't going to effect our performance tonight?" Rachel asked as she leaned her head against Jesse's shoulder, remembering their conversation from earlier in the day.

"We're professionals. We'll be fine," he reassured her, kissing the top of her head. "We'll just do it the way we've done it so many times before."

"No funny business, Jesse St. James," she warned him. "I know you. No tongues, no unscripted touches or thrusts." He couldn't help but smile at her small list of demands.

"If my memory serves me correctly, I believe it was your tongue that somehow found it's way into my mouth on opening night," he whispered in her ear.

"That was…" Rachel really didn't know what to say to defend herself. He was right. He had yet to slip up like that. Well, unless you counted him being hard and aroused as he had rubbed against her during their love scene.

"Like I said at breakfast, I know I'm irresistible. You couldn't help yourself," he reminded her as she felt his tongue trace the shell of her ear before he kissed her neck just below her earlobe.

"Jesse stop," she breathed out. "We're almost at the theatre."

He did as she requested but not before he took her face in his hands and whispered against her lips, "Good luck not breaking your own rules tonight." Then he kissed her passionately, leaving Rachel speechless as he pulled away from her. She didn't even have time to respond as the cab pulled up outside the theatre and they both got out.

* * *

Rachel had fought the urge to go to Jesse's room before the show. It wasn't because she wanted to have a quickie before the show, although she wouldn't have had a problem with that. She just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. She knew that they weren't going to have many days like today in the near future, and every time the clock ticked she saw precious time slipping away from them.

Just like she had opening night, Rachel stood on the opposite side of the stage from Jesse watching him. He looked over at her moments before he was going to take the stage and winked at her. Rachel smiled back warmly at him as they just continued to stare at each other from across the stage.

As they performed, Rachel felt the chemistry between them more than she ever had. Their characters' first meeting felt electrically charged. When they sang together, the connection between them was stronger than ever. She hadn't really been concerned with all of the stuff before the love scene, so the little differences in that night's performance versus the day before was no big deal.

The moment of their love scene arrived and Rachel felt her heart begin to race. She knew she was a great actress but what if she slipped out of character once she got caught up in the love scene? What if she said _his_ name and not his character's? She reminded herself as their lips met to not let Jesse win the little challenge that he'd put her up to. Everything had gone perfectly up until the very last moment of their love scene when Rachel lost herself as their characters kissed passionately and she once again ended up slipping her tongue into Jesse's mouth. She cursed herself as Jesse pulled away with a smug look on his face.

She _really_ hated to lose.

* * *

Rachel was in her dressing room, clad only in her bra and panties as she looked in her dressing room mirror and took off her stage makeup, when the door opened and in walked Jesse. "You need to learn the art of knocking," she admonished playfully, as she eyed him in her dressing room mirror.

"Now where's the fun in that?" he asked, a mischievous grin on his face as he came up behind her planting his hands on either side of her on her dressing room table. He kissed her neck as their eyes locked in the mirror.

"I'm mad at you," she said, trying to keep her composure as much as she could as his hand snaked inside her bra and cupped her breast.

"Why are you mad at me?" he asked, resting his head in the crook of her neck and shoulder with an innocent look on his face even though he was currently rubbing her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

"Because…" she began, but then his other hand came to rest on her lower abdomen as he pulled her back into him and she could feel how aroused he was. A moan escaped her lips, unbidden, as he thrust against her.

"Could it possibly be because you were so turned on by me during the show that you broke one of your own rules?" he asked huskily as he continued to move against her. "What did I tell you earlier?" He moved his hand lower on her abdomen until she could feel his fingertips lightly brush just beneath the top of her panties.

"That you're," she gasped as he slid a finger inside of her. "Irresistible," she panted.

"Exactly," he said, before he stepped away from her, leaving Rachel with her mouth gaping as she looked at him.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked incredulously. Surely he wasn't just going to leave her standing there completely turned on and not at all satisfied. _He wouldn't do that, would he?_ she wondered.

"_That_ was for this morning," he told her with a smirk as he backed away from her.

"Jesse St. James, don't you dare," she warned as he continued to move towards the door.

"Meet me outside in fifteen," he told her with a wink. "I promise I'll make it up to you when we get home," he said just before he opened the door and walked out.

_Home_, Rachel thought as she momentarily forgot the lurch he had just left her in. She knew it was a natural slip of the tongue, but suddenly she felt this overwhelming longing for it to be true. She wanted it more than anything in the world.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thanks to **Jill Cohen** for giving me the idea for them to have a little game of who would blink first when it came to their love scene during the show. :) I might have to continue it and make it the best 2 out of 3.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **I fully intended on having this chapter posted on Wednesday but work and real-life got in the way. :) I honestly cannot thank everyone who has reviewed enough for all of your wonderful feedback. It just makes me want to write even more. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

Surprisingly, when Jesse and Rachel got back to his place, they didn't immediately rip each other's clothes off the moment they walked through the door. Instead, they popped some popcorn and cuddled on the couch together to watch a movie.

Unlike all the times that they had done the very same thing when they had been dating in high school, they actually managed to make it through an entire movie without making out on the couch at all. As Jesse turned off the TV when the movie had finished, Rachel smiled as she remembered the one time her dad had caught them in a very compromising position on the living room couch late one night.

"What are you smiling about?" Jesse asked, looking down at Rachel who was comfortably snuggled into his side still.

"Just remembering that one time when my dad came downstairs and caught us making out on the couch," she grinned up at him.

Jesse chuckled. "We thought they were upstairs sleeping," he remembered.

"Well, _one _of them was," Rachel giggled as she turned to face him, leaning her head on the couch and resting her legs across his lap.

"What were we even watching?" Jesse asked, racking his brain but coming up blank.

"I forced you to watch _Serendipity_ again for the fifth time," she said with a completely innocent look.

"Ah, I remember now," he laughed. "You were so focused on John Cusack until I started kissing your neck."

"And completely made me forget why I was so into the movie in the first place," she sighed, remembering how her body had reacted to him, even then.

"I swear we made out for the last half of the movie," Jesse said, absentmindedly rubbing his hand up and down her thigh as they took their little trip down memory lane.

"You somehow managed to get me underneath you," she told him, as she held his other hand in both of hers and traced the palm of his hand lightly with her fingertips.

"I seem to recall you liked it so much that you wrapped your legs around my waist. Especially when my hand found its way under your shirt." He raised his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"Oh my God, that was the first time I ever let a boy feel me up and the outcome was _so_ mortifying," she squealed at the memory. "I am surprised I didn't have to go to therapy for that."

"Your dad's face as he saw the position that you and I were in, is burned into my memory," he groaned. "I thought he was going to strangle me. Or maybe castrate me."

"I think he thought that our embarrassment was punishment enough," Rachel laughed. "I couldn't look him in the eye for over a week."

"How do you think I felt?" Jesse asked.

"Well, it certainly didn't deter you from making out with me in my bedroom the very next weekend and doing the same thing again," she teased.

"Yeah, but after that we never did much more than kiss on the couch or if we made out in your room we never left your door unlocked, did we?"

"No, we didn't," she admitted before leaning over to kiss his lips softly.

When Jesse kissed her back, his lips were persistent on hers as he leaned over and laid her down underneath him on the couch. "Trying to recreate the moment?" Rachel asked breathily as Jesse turned his attention to her neck.

"Perhaps," he murmured against her skin which elicited a moan from Rachel. His hands found their way underneath her shirt and her bra.

"No dads to interrupt us this time," she whispered as she arched into his hands.

"So does that mean you can lose the shirt?" he asked playfully, pinching her nipple ever so slightly causing Rachel to gasp at the feeling.

"I want to lose a lot more than the shirt," she replied as she reached down and began undoing his jeans. "And so should you."

"That's what I like to hear," he said huskily as he pulled her shirt and bra off of her. Reaching inside Jesse jeans and boxers, Rachel grabbed his ass and pulled him against her.

Jesse made quick work of her jeans and underwear then sat up to remove his own. As he did so, Rachel sat up and just watched him. Before he could resume the position they'd been in once he was naked, Rachel moved over and straddled him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she rubbed herself against him, and leaned in so they were cheek-to-cheek, then she whispered, "Fuck me." She nipped his earlobe, before she leaned back and just looked at him.

Gripping him in her hand, she rubbed the tip of him against her wetness causing Jesse to groan in pleasure. Rachel pressed her forehead to his, not breaking eye contact as she sank down onto him slowly. He pulled her in for a deep kiss, caressing her tongue with his as she rode him with agonizing slowness.

Rachel grabbed the back of the couch as they broke apart and she increased the rhythm. His fingers dug into her hips as he thrust up against her roughly. As she leaned back to change the angle a little, Jesse circled one of her nipples with his tongue before he lightly scraped it with his teeth which caused Rachel to jerk against him, breaking her rhythm slightly.

He could feel her walls start to clench around him as he thrust into her harder. Her cries echoed in the living room of his apartment as she continued to ride him as she orgasmed. Jesse continued to gently push into her as he let her orgasm subside before he picked her up, laid her down on the rug and spread her legs before he started pounding into her.

"Oh fuck, Jesse…" she gasped as she was rocked with another powerful orgasm as he continued to drive into her. He may have been able to last through one of her orgasms but this time she took him over the edge with her as he thrust deeply one more time before he came.

Their bodies were both slick with sweat as he rested his head on her chest and they both tried to catch their breath. "Holy shit," Jesse panted as Rachel wrapped her arms around him.

"I know," Rachel rasped out, ghosting her fingertips up and down his back. She loved how he didn't immediately pull out of her. He felt so good inside of her, the weight of his body on hers. Rachel was sure that she could fall asleep in that position, but she knew that her body would hate her for it the next day. "Let's go to bed," she said softly, running her hand through his damp hair.

Without a word, Jesse finally pulled out of her and stood up, bringing her with him. She began to walk towards the bedroom when he gripped her hand and stopped her from moving any further. The next thing Rachel knew, he hooked one arm underneath her knees and the other behind her back and carried her to the bedroom.

The look on his face as he carried her was one of pure love. For some reason, it kind of scared Rachel. He set her down on the bed gently before he sat down next to her and placed soft kisses all over her face. It made Rachel forget all about how the way he had looked at her had scared her before. She was pretty sure that she now wore that exact same expression as she let out a blissful sigh.

* * *

They lay in bed just facing each other, hands clasped, fingers linked together. For the last hour, all they had done was talk about nothing and everything. Rachel thought back to earlier when they had been reminiscing and decided she needed the answer that only he could give her.

"Can I ask you something that has bothered me for years?" Rachel asked. It was a question that she had asked herself over and over again after they had broken up. It had tortured her. Sometimes she had thought she'd known the answer, but other times she had been sure that she didn't know anything at all, especially when it came to Jesse St. James.

He gave her hand a little squeeze of encouragement. "What is it?" Jesse asked, curious.

"Did you really love me?" She seemed so vulnerable.

"Yes," he said simply. He hated that everything he had done to her had made her question that. After they had broken up, that was one of the truths that he had clung to. He had hoped that she would know that he loved her despite how things had ended. "Did you?" he asked. "Love me, I mean." He had held on to that little nugget of hope for years, that his love for her had been reciprocated despite the fact that she never actually said those three little words to him.

"What do you think?" answering his question with another question.

"Yes," he replied. She merely nodded in response, a watery smile gracing her features. Jesse tugged on her hands and she complied with his unspoken request to move closer to him. He just looked at her for a moment, running his fingers through her hair before he closed the space between them and covered her lips with his own. It was a slow, lingering kiss that Rachel never wanted to end.

When he pulled away and rubbed his nose against hers a couple times, the panic that Rachel had felt earlier came back. The look in his eyes terrified her. He looked like he was about to say something that he wouldn't be able to take back and she didn't want that. Not right now. It was too soon. There was still so much that they needed to talk about.

"So what happens tomorrow?" she asked, effectively killing the moment that they had been about to have as she saw the small smile slip off his face.

"I don't know," he answered honestly, rubbing his thumb in circles in the palm of her hand. "We go back to reality and figure out what we need to do next."

"What if I'm not ready for reality?" Rachel pushed Jesse on his back and laid her head down on his chest.

Jesse wrapped his arms around Rachel. "Then we just hope that time stops and tomorrow never comes."

"If only," Rachel sighed as she closed her eyes and fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

* * *

They spent the entire next morning in bed burning into their memories the way that they tasted and felt. It wasn't like they were planning on ending what they had been doing for the past couple of days but they knew that it wasn't going to be the same. Everything was about to change. They couldn't pretend anymore.

Finally, they decided that they actually needed to get out of the bed so as Rachel was taking a shower, Jesse stripped everything off of the bed and started a load of laundry before he made them lunch. It hurt Rachel more than she thought it would to see the bed stripped of all evidence of their coupling.

Jesse walked into his bedroom to find Rachel, clad only in a towel, just standing there looking at his bed. "Rach?" he asked, tentatively which startled her out of her reverie. She just smiled at him. "I made some lunch," he told her, walking over to her.

"Lunch sounds great," she replied. "I'm just gonna get dressed." Jessed nodded and kissed her on the lips before leaving her alone in his room again. He knew this was going to be hard. He just hadn't realized how hard it was actually going to be until now.

Once they had eaten lunch and Jesse had taken a shower, their mood had lightened up considerably. They were laughing and joking just like they always did. It was a perfect afternoon.

Hours later, they stood hidden behind one of the curtains backstage, talking before the show. "I have proposition for you," Jesse said with a smirk.

"And what would that be?" she asked, biting her lip slightly as she stepped closer to him.

"I was thinking that we should make a little ongoing game out of your rules of not breaking character during our love scene," he explained.

"I'm listening," she replied.

"I think we should do best two out of three, but before you agree you should know that last night counts," he told her.

"Fine."

"Really?" He was surprised that she had agreed so easily.

"It's not going to happen again, St. James, so what do I get when I win?" she asked, a smug grin firmly in place. She was pretty confident. He was so turned on by her in that moment.

"You have to do whatever the winner decides." He knew he was going to win, but he would continue to let her think she stood a chance.

"An open bet? You're pretty confident, aren't you?" she whispered as she ran her hand up his chest.

"Always." He leaned down so she could feel his breath on her face. "I don't make bets I can't win."

Never breaking eye contact, she moved close enough so that their lips were almost touching. "Neither do I," she replied, before she stuck her tongue out to playfully lick his lips.

"Shake on it?" he asked.

"How about we seal it with a kiss," Rachel offered with a smirk.

She knew exactly what she was doing, and he loved it. "You are so hot right now," he whispered before his lips found hers in what was only supposed to be a simple kiss. Soon the only sound was their ragged breathing as they kissed like they hadn't just spent the last two days doing that very thing. A loud noise backstage startled them out of their lust-filled haze.

"I'm gonna win," Jesse said into her ear just before he walked away from her.

An hour and a half later as they did their love scene, Rachel tried not to think about their little ongoing game that they seemed to be having. Their kisses were perfect stage kisses. Every touch and caress was part of the choreography of the love scene. Jesse's face was right next to hers as he thrust against her as they neared the end of the love scene when he whispered, "I love you."

It was so soft that only she could hear it, but it wasn't part of the scene and if she hadn't been so shocked to actually hear him whisper those words, she might've been happy that they'd both broken character at least once now. As the scene came to an end and the lights went down, Jesse kissed her neck quickly before jumping off of the bed and hurrying off-stage to prepare for his next scene.

Rachel felt like she was in a daze as she made her way backstage as well. Jesse St. James had just confessed his love to her in a moment where he knew she couldn't respond. She smiled to herself as she thought about it. He hadn't needed her to repeat the words back to him. He had just wanted her to know how he felt. It made her fall even deeper.

* * *

Jesse smiled as he walked down the hall backstage towards his dressing room. He couldn't wait to see Rachel in a little bit. "Good show man," he said, slapping one of his cast mates on the back just before he opened the door to his dressing room.

His smile fell immediately as he was greeted with an unexpected guest in his dressing room. He stood in the open doorway in shock, not sure what to say.

"Surprise," Isla said, cheerily.

He knew he should be a little more happy to see his wife but the only thing that he could think of to say was, "Isla, what are you doing here?"

Her too bright smile faltered as he made no move to step any further into the dressing room and greet her properly. She knew she had fucked up and was now just going to act like nothing was wrong. He wasn't going to make it that easy for her.

"Since I missed your opening night, I wanted to come and see the show," she explained as she walked towards him.

"You could've called," he replied, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the door handle tightly.

"But then it wouldn't have been a surprise," she told him as she came to a stop in front of him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and Jesse felt the anger that had been building in him reach a boiling point.

Grasping her arms in his hands, he removed them from his neck and stepped away from her, shutting his dressing room door forcefully. He walked further into the room. Further away from _her_.

"Jesse, you can't still be mad at me," she scoffed.

"Are you serious right now?" he asked, his voice rising. The only answer he got was her folding her arms across her chest as she narrowed her eyes at him. "You tell me at the last possible minute that you have to travel out of the country for work and can't make it to one of the most important night's of my career, then you leave the country without a single word or note and I don't hear from you for a week and you're just going to walk in here as though everything's fine?"

"I didn't come here to fight," she said, looking at him defiantly.

"No, you just came here to pretend like nothing happened and there's nothing for you to apologize for," he spat.

"It's my _job_. I shouldn't have to apologize for that," she retorted, walking towards him again. "Besides, you're the one who yelled at me and walked out of our apartment then came home drunk and slept on the couch."

"You don't get it, do you?" he asked in disbelief. "Isla, I'm glad that you have your career because you're good at what you do. You're _great_ at what you do. But at one time, you also had a husband that you loved and supported. Who you would do anything for. Shit, you can't even be bothered to save me coffee in the morning anymore."

Just then a knock came at the door. Jesse stepped around Isla and went to answer the door.

"Hi," Rachel said softly, smiling at him as he opened the door and wedged his body between the door frame and the partially opened door. Jesse just shook his head at her to let her know that now was not a good time. "What's going on?" she asked, concern laced her voice.

Without a word he opened the door slightly and Rachel peeked around him to see the back of Isla standing in the middle of his dressing room. "I'll see you tomorrow," he finally said with a sad look before moving back into his dressing room and shutting the door.

Rachel felt her heart constrict and she struggled to breathe as she felt like she had just been kicked in the stomach. Reality had come a lot sooner than she had expected.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **So this chapter was nearly ready to be posted on Sunday night but when I re-read it, I ended up doing a bit of a re-write. Then last night my internet went down. I seriously cannot thank you guys enough for the reviews. I love hearing what you guys think of this story so much it's kind of ridiculous. I really hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!

* * *

Jesse sighed and leaned his head on his dressing room door after he shut it, leaving Rachel standing alone in the hallway. The look on her face as she had seen Isla standing in his dressing room had absolutely killed him. He had wanted to take her in his arms so badly and tell her how much he really did love her, but he couldn't do that. Finally, he turned around to face Isla again, who was now looking at him.

"Look, I know there's a lot we need to talk about, but can we just please have this discussion at home? I just want to get changed and go home," Jesse said, running his hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck.

The fight had obviously gone out of Isla too as she sighed and said, "Sure. We can talk when you get home." She grabbed her purse and walked over to Jesse, stopping in front of him. "By the way, you were wonderful tonight," she told him before she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek and left his dressing room.

Jesse stood motionless for a moment after the door had closed behind Isla. Everything inside of him was screaming for him to go check on Rachel and make sure she was alright. But he knew she wasn't because he wasn't.

* * *

Rachel fought back tears as she changed out of her costume and makeup in her dressing room. She had known that Isla was coming back that afternoon and she thought that she had prepared herself for it, but apparently she hadn't prepared well enough. She just had so many emotions warring inside of her. Some she knew would feel and others that had never even crossed her mind.

Of course she had known that she would feel guilty, but she didn't know it would be like this. A weight that felt so heavy that it hurt to breathe. Even though she knew how deteriorated Jesse's marriage with Isla was, it still didn't change the fact that she had slept with another woman's husband. Not only had she had sex with another woman's husband, she had done it on _her_ couch, _her_ floor, _her_ kitchen, _her_ shower… _her_ bed.

Then there was Donovan that she had barely thought about since the first night that she had spent with Jesse. Not only had Rachel helped Jesse break his wedding vows, but Rachel had broken a promise that she had made to Donovan when she had agreed to marry him. Rachel felt bile rise up in her throat and ran to her trash can as she emptied the contents of her stomach into it.

She took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves and grabbed a tissue to wipe her mouth off. On top of the guilt she was experiencing, there was such intense jealousy. Rachel didn't think she had ever felt this level of jealousy in her entire life. Tonight it would be Isla sleeping next to Jesse. It would be Isla that would wake up next to him in the morning. And eat breakfast with him. Kiss him on the lips before she walked out of the apartment. Rachel felt another wave of nausea wash over her as she thought about Jesse making love to Isla. It was almost too much to bear.

As she closed her eyes, she saw Jesse's smiling face and heard the words that he had whispered to her during their love scene. _I love you. _Rachel felt her heart skip a beat as his words played like a record in her head. He loved her. She still couldn't believe that he had told her during the show that he loved her.

The night before when Rachel had thought that Jesse was going to say those three little words, she had thought that she wasn't ready to hear them and that it was still too soon to even be uttering them. But she had been wrong. The way he had said it and the moment he had chosen to say those words had been perfect. And she was in love with him too. In fact, she had wanted to tell him just that when she had gone to his dressing room.

She thought about how maybe it was fate that Isla had been in Jesse's dressing room and Rachel had been unable to tell him that she felt the same way. Maybe before she said those words to Jesse, she needed to figure out just where she and Donovan stood. She needed to know where Jesse and Isla stood. Sure when she and Jesse had talked the first night she had been inside Jesse's apartment, he had pretty much told Rachel that his marriage to Isla was over but what was to say that he wouldn't change his mind.

He and Isla had been fighting when he had told her that after all. Although, he had also told Rachel that things between them had been bad for awhile. Saying that his marriage was on the rocks was one thing, but actually doing something about it was a whole other story. Would he actually leave his wife? Could she leave Donovan? Deciding that she didn't want to have to think about any of that, at least not alone anyway, Rachel called Kurt.

"Hey," Kurt said as he answered his phone.

"Do you mind if I stay with you for a couple more days? I'm not ready to go back home yet," she explained.

"I take it Jesse's wife is back?" Kurt asked. It wasn't a judgment, just a simple question.

"Yeah," Rachel told him sadly. "Can we get drunk when I get to your place?"

"Of course," he replied. "Get your ass here so we can start drinking. You and I haven't had a wine night in way too long."

"Ok, I'll be there in thirty," she said before hanging up the phone. Rachel smiled, extremely grateful that she had Kurt as a friend.

* * *

As Jesse walked out of his dressing room, he turned and looked down the hall towards Rachel's dressing room. Instead of going to her like he still so desperately wanted to do, he made his feet walk in the direction of the stage door so he could go home and have a long overdue conversation with Isla.

He had hoped that he would run into Rachel outside of the stage door, but he had no such luck. When he thought about it, it was probably a good thing. What would he have said to her while they were surrounded by so many fans? It wasn't like they could have a private conversation or anything. So Jesse plastered on his best show face for all of the fans and smiled for pictures and was friendly to everyone that he talked to.

Despite knowing that Rachel was probably already gone or still inside, he looked around for her as he walked towards the street to catch a taxi. He hated that he had told her that he loved her and then they hadn't even been able to talk about it. Jesse held his phone in his hand for a few minutes as he rode in the back of the taxi, debating on whether or not he should call her or text her. He wanted her to know that he was thinking about her.

_I meant what I said to you earlier_, he typed out. He looked at it for a moment and decided that it was better than no communication at all. Jesse was pretty sure that she wouldn't respond so it didn't hurt his feelings when the taxi pulled up outside his apartment building and she hadn't sent him a reply. He paid the taxi driver and got out of the car.

Taking a deep breath as he looked up at the building in front of him, he started walking towards the door. "Good evening, Mr. St. James," the night doorman said as he opened the door for him. "I see that Mrs. St. James is back in town." He looked at Jesse knowingly and Jesse simply nodded. "Have a wonderful night, sir."

"You too," Jesse responded as he walked through the door and into the lobby of the building. He trudged over to the elevator ignoring the urge to run back out the door and take a taxi to Kurt's. Before he knew it, he was turning the key in the lock of his front door and walking into his apartment. He immediately saw Isla sitting on the sofa with a large glass of red wine in her hand.

Without saying a word, she got up and walked over to the bar, pouring Jesse a glass of scotch. "Thanks," Jesse said, slightly taken aback, as she handed him the glass. He followed behind her as she led the way back over the couch and sat down. "Look, Isla," Jesse began before she cut him off.

"I'm sorry, Jesse," she rushed out. Jesse was completely baffled by this turn of events. He hadn't expected those words to come spilling from her lips, especially when she had been so reluctant to utter them when she had ambushed him in his dressing room earlier. "I don't want to fight. I know I should have been there for your opening night performance and I'm sorry that I wasn't," she explained. Jesse waited for the inevitable 'but' that he knew was coming. "But," there it was. "You have to understand my point of view. I love what I do and it's important to me and I don't ever want to do anything to jeopardize that."

"I do understand that because my career is important to me, but when did we stop being important to each other?" he asked. "There was a time when you would have done everything in your power to reschedule those meetings in Paris or put them off for a couple of days so you could be there to support me. Instead, I had _no one_ on opening night."

"We're just at a different place in our lives than we were when we first got married," she told him, blatantly ignoring his last comment. He wasn't going to pretend like it didn't hurt that she didn't even seem to care that neither she nor his parents could make it to his opening night performance. "But I promise I'm going to do better."

They sat in silence for a moment while Isla waited for Jesse to say something in response. "Forgive me if I'm having a hard time believing you. It's not like we haven't been here before," he finally said. He hated to be a jerk because he knew that she probably believed the words she was saying and that this time would be different.

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be easy for me Jesse, and I'm sure I'll screw up but I'm going to try," she told him. "I just need you to have a little more patience with me."

"I need some time to think, Isla," he said. He didn't know what else to say so he gulped down his scotch before he stood up. "I'm sorry, but I can't be here right now." She looked at him like he had just slapped her as he grabbed his keys and walked out the door.

* * *

Rachel and Kurt sat on his living room couch with an empty bottle of red wine sitting on the coffee table and a half emptied one sitting right next to it. Kurt looked at Rachel's phone again and read the text message that Jesse had sent to her earlier. "So he said he loved you? While you were onstage in front of a sold-out _live_ audience?" Kurt asked for at least the third time, just before he took a large swig of wine out of his glass.

"He whispered it in my ear. No one else heard him," Rachel exclaimed in exasperation, snatching her phone back from him.

"That you know of," Kurt corrected her which only made Rachel roll her eyes.

"Can we please talk about how I was about to tell him that I love him when I went to his dressing room," Rachel cried out in frustration.

"Do you really love him?" Kurt asked excitedly.

"I think so," she confessed. "I'm so confused. I haven't talked to Donovan in days and a part of me doesn't really want to, but am I ready to give up on my relationship with him after only a few perfect days with Jesse?"

"Rachel, this was all happening way before you and Jesse actually had sex," Kurt pointed out rather bluntly.

"Okay, fine, whatever," she replied. A beat then, "It's scary."

"What is?"

"The fact that in all the time that I've been with Donovan, he's never made me feel like this. Ever," she explained, her hand clutching at her shirt just over her heart. Kurt waited for her to continue, knowing that his friend needed to get this all out. "Donovan can hurt me, but I know that I could walk away from our relationship and pick up the pieces and carry on. With Jesse… if it didn't work out I might honestly lose the will to live," she declared dramatically.

"Now you're just being a drama queen," Kurt said with a shake of his head.

"No, Kurt, it would be devastating. It would _destroy_ me," she said. Then her imagination started running away from her with all sorts of equally tragic scenarios. "What if I leave Donovan and Jesse decides that he loves Isla and wants to be with her? Then I'm left all alone, shattered and broken because the man that I love is happily married to another woman. Plus I'd have to work with him every day and pretend like I don't love him. Or what if I leave Donovan and he leaves Isla and we realize that what was driving us together in the first place was our unhappiness in our current relationships and we don't make each other happy either?"

"Rachel, you two aren't falling for each other because Isla and Donovan are pushing you two together. Sure, it might have made the initial decision to cross that line a little easier but all you did for weeks once you two started hanging out together is gush about how wonderful Jesse is," Kurt retorted, hoping that he could help her see the flaw in the tragic endings she was considering for her and Jesse.

Ignoring him Rachel thought of another scenario. "Or, what if they get pregnant? What if I get pregnant with Donovan's baby? I mean, I know he and I are not having sex but who's to say that we won't in the near future and I get pregnant and my decision is made for me. I couldn't very well leave Donovan if I was pregnant with his child. I'm sure Jesse wouldn't leave Isla if she was pregnant with his child. Or what if Jesse got me pregnant? I don't want him to be with me out of some sort of obligation," she rushed out. "I mean, I'm on birth control but nothing is 100%!"

She finally looked over at Kurt who was staring at her like she had two heads. "Are you living in a soap opera? None of that is going to happen. And before you come up with another crazy scenario, Isla is _not_ going to figure out that Jesse is having an affair and try to trap him into staying with her by having Jesse get her pregnant. Or even better yet, because I know how your mind works, having another man get her pregnant and saying it's Jesse's."

"You don't think that's a real possibility do you?" Rachel asked, seriously.

"You do realize that you've officially hopped aboard the crazy train, right?" Kurt asked. "No more wine for you." He reached over and took her wine glass out of her hand and placed it on the table.

Rachel looked at Kurt with an expression cross between her being offended and hurt. "I just don't know what to do," she admitted.

"Are you prepared to leave Donovan and end your engagement to him?"

"I don't know," she told him in a voice barely above a whisper.

Kurt scooted over on the couch and wrapped his arm around Rachel, pulling her into his side. "I'm on Team Rachel, remember? I just want you to be happy." Rachel nodded and wrapped an arm around Kurt, squeezing him a little.

"Do you have any of your own drama that we can talk about now?" Rachel asked hopefully. Kurt just laughed.

* * *

Jesse walked outside of his building, not sure of where he wanted to go. He thought about calling up Thomas and seeing if he wanted to get a drink with him, but decided that he didn't really feel like discussing the matter-at-hand with his friend. At least not at that moment.

What he really wanted to do was talk to Rachel. He _needed_ to talk to Rachel. So he hailed a taxi and gave the driver the address for Kurt's building. He was thankful that he and Rachel had gone to Kurt's the day before, otherwise he wouldn't have known where to go. And Jesse was pretty sure that if he tried to call Rachel's phone, she wouldn't answer. When he got inside the building, he went to the concierge and told him who he was there to see.

Jesse heard the concierge talking to Kurt and Kurt telling the man that it was fine to send Jesse on up to his apartment. So Jesse got in the elevator, hit the button for Kurt's floor and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet nervously while he waited to get to his desired floor.

He didn't even have a chance to knock as the door opened and Rachel appeared in the doorway. "Hi," Rachel greeted him quietly. Any resolve that Rachel might have had at distancing herself from Jesse vanished the moment she looked at him.

"Hi," Jesse returned. "Look I'm sorry for just showing up here like this, but I needed to talk to you. Is there somewhere…" he trailed off. He didn't exactly want to have this conversation in the hallway and he was sure that Kurt and Daniel wouldn't appreciate being kept awake by him and Rachel talking.

"Come on," she replied, shutting the apartment door behind her. She grabbed Jesse's hand and led him back to the elevator. She didn't let go of his hand as she pressed the top floor and stood next to him in the elevator. Jesse felt a sort of calm wash over him at just the feel and warmth of her hand in his. She pulled him along behind her as the elevator doors opened to a small lobby that led out to a rooftop terrace.

Once outside, they walked in silence to a corner of the terrace and she sat down on one of the lounge chairs, pulling him down next to her. "Is everything alright?" she asked, turning to face him as she wrapped her leg underneath her. The look on his face when she had opened Kurt's door had killed her. All she had wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and give him whatever solace she could.

"No," he replied softly. He pulled their joined hands to his chest and rested them there as he ran his other hand up and down her arm.

"What happened?" She wasn't sure she really wanted to know, but he had come over here because he needed to talk to her about whatever he and Isla had said, or didn't say, to each other so she was willing to listen.

"She comes back and doesn't even offer up an apology until I practically have to force it out of her then she expects me to just believe her empty promises and act like all is forgiven and that our marriage isn't crumbling around us," he said, looking in Rachel's eyes.

Rachel felt her heart constrict. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her that I needed some time to think," he said.

"But," Rachel added.

"But the truth is, I don't really care if she wants to try because I've heard the story before and I know how it ends. She'll make a concerted effort for a little while and then we're right back to where we are now. I just don't know if I want to do it anymore," he explained, looking down as he continued to rub his hand up and down her arm.

Silence hung in the air between them as Rachel took in his words. "Jesse, I'm not going to tell you to leave your wife," she told him.

"I'm not asking you to, I just…" he didn't know what he was asking.

"Listen, we both just need to take some time and figure out what's going on. Not just between us, but with our partners," she said. It sounded stupid and cowardly, even to her own ears, but she wasn't ready to face the alternatives just yet.

"Rachel, I don't want this to be like after we first kissed last week," he replied. "You can't ask me to just stay away from you. I can't do that."

"I'm not saying that," she said, reaching up and caressing his face. "Do you think that I'd want that after the last few days we've spent together?"

"What are you saying then?" Jesse asked in confusion.

"You shouldn't make any rash decisions right now. You need to really make sure that ending your marriage is what you want," she said, as she hooked her fingers between his button-up and rubbed one of the buttons absentmindedly with her thumb. "You married her for a reason and who's to say that this time won't be the one time that she actually keeps her promise and you guys fall in love all over again." It hurt her to say that, but she had to be realistic. He and Isla had a history together that she couldn't compete with. There were things that they had shared that Rachel would never share with Jesse.

"I doubt that," Jesse scoffed.

"Never say never," Rachel told him.

"And what about you? Are you just going to back to Donovan and try and work things out? Do you really want to be in that kind of relationship? Do you really want to marry someone like that?" he asked, reaching up and brushing her hair back from her face.

She thought about it for a moment, looking down at her thumb that was still playing with the button of his shirt. "I don't want to have any doubts," she replied, turning her gaze back to his.

"You still want to be with me while we figure this stuff out? Are you sure you're okay with that?" He wanted her to be absolutely sure that _this_ was what she wanted. While what they had done the last few days _was_ cheating, they both hadn't had to worry about their partners. Despite knowing that they were both in other relationships, it had been too easy to pretend otherwise. There wasn't going to be any pretending anymore. An affair would involve sneaking around and lying. He wanted to know that she could live with herself.

"Yes, I'm sure," she replied, moving as close to him as she could on the lounge chair they were still sitting on. "I need to know if what we have is real and worth all the heartache that it will inevitably result in."

"_This_ is very real," he said in almost a whisper as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"That's what scares me," she confessed quietly before she pressed her lips to his and pulled him down on top of her on the chair. The alive sounds of the city on the streets below them like a musical score as they relished the feel of each other. Jesse slipped his hand underneath Rachel's shirt in the back to feel the warmth and softness of her skin. She sighed at the feeling and caressed his tongue with her own in a slow, deep kiss that seemed to go on for ages.

"I have to go," Jesse sighed as they eventually pulled apart, reluctantly.

"I don't want you to," Rachel pouted, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him to her.

"I don't want to either, but I have to," he told her, placing a kiss right next to her lips before he stood up and pulled Rachel with him. Linking his fingers through hers, they walked back to the elevator and rode it down to Kurt's floor. Jesse stood in the elevator door as they said good-bye. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said, cupping her face in his hands before he placed a kiss on her lips. "How does breakfast sound?"

"Perfect," she replied, smiling up at him. "Good night, Jesse."

"Good night, Rach." He watched her walk back inside Kurt's apartment before he hit the button for the lobby. He thought about how just the night before they had wished for tomorrow to never come, but here he was now thinking that tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: **Sorry I couldn't get this posted sooner guys. I haven't had much as much free time to write as I would like lately.

Carla L11, since I couldn't respond to you individually, no I do not plan on dropping this story. I would never start writing a fic if I didn't have every intention of finishing it and at least giving the characters a satisfying ending. So no need to worry about me not finishing this one. :)

As always, thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story so far. I plan on using some of your suggestions that you gave me a few chapters back in the near future. Keep reviewing and letting me know what you think of the fic!

* * *

Rachel awoke the next morning to the sound of her phone ringing. She smiled as she knew exactly who it was that was calling her. The moment she answered it she was greeted with one of the sexiest voices she had ever heard. "Good morning, beautiful," Jesse said. Just the sound of his voice sent tingles of pleasure through her body.

"Good morning," she replied, her voice gravelly with sleep.

"Do you know how sexy you sound right now?" Jesse asked which made Rachel giggle softly.

"I believe we have breakfast plans," Rachel said, sitting up on the bed and leaning against the headboard. "Do you have a place in mind?"

"Meet me at The Surrey in half an hour," he told her.

"But I need to take a shower and get dressed," she whined a little. She couldn't very well go out in public looking like she had just rolled out of bed.

"You have thirty minutes," he insisted. "So if I were you, I'd take a real quick shower and throw your stuff in a bag and get ready later." He paused for a second waiting for her to protest. "Just trust me, okay?"

"Fine," she pouted. "I'll meet you there in thirty minutes."

Thirty minutes later, Rachel walked into the lobby of The Surrey. She looked around for Jesse but didn't see him then she felt her phone vibrate with a text message. She pulled it out of her purse and read what it said.

_Go over to the elevator and come to room 1403. _

Rachel felt her heart flutter as she walked towards the elevator. Here she had thought that they were just simply meeting here for breakfast, but apparently Jesse had other plans. No wonder he had told her not to worry about getting ready.

It took everything in her not to sprint down the hall as she reached the fourteenth floor and walked down the hall towards the room that Jesse had told her to go to. She saw that he had left the door open slightly so she pushed the door open even further slowly and walked in. Rachel gasped softly as she took in the room. "Jesse," she called, shutting the door behind her.

Then he appeared looking as gorgeous as ever in the doorway of the terrace she hadn't noticed before. "Hi," he said as he walked into the room.

"I thought we were having breakfast," Rachel admonished as she walked towards him.

"We are," he told her softly, reaching up on either side of her face and running his hands through her hair as he placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Rachel felt her heart skip a beat as she looked into Jesse's eyes as he pulled away smiling at her, still holding her face in his hands. "Come on," he took her hand as he stepped back and led her towards the terrace.

Rachel's face broke out into a huge grin as soon as she saw the breakfast spread on the table as they walked out onto the terrace. "Jesse," she breathed out. He pulled out her chair for her so she could sit down and then walked over to his own chair and sat down next to her. "Did you spend the night here last night?" Rachel asked.

"No, I just got the room on the way back to my apartment so we could spend a good part of the day alone together. We have late checkout," he explained. Rachel felt a slight pang of guilt that was becoming all too familiar as she thought about Jesse getting a hotel room for the two of them to have a secret rendezvous in then going home to his wife. She pushed the feeling down as much as she could. She had made the decision the night before that she was in this with him, but she knew that wasn't going to stop her from having certain feelings about what they were doing every once in awhile.

"I love it," she said, looking back towards the suite. "I almost wish it was cold out so we could have a fire in the fireplace," she added as she glanced at the fireplace wistfully.

"Well, we'll just have to come back in a couple of months when it starts getting cold," he replied with a wink as he reached for the pancakes in the center of the table. Rachel just simply watched him contentedly as he filled his plate with food. Jesse noticed that she was staring at him out of the corner of his eye. "What?" he asked, pouring syrup on his pancakes.

"Nothing," she replied, smiling as she began to fill her own plate with food.

"Rachel," he prodded, now staring at her.

"You just make me happy is all," she answered truthfully. She looked up at him as she set her full plate of food down in front of her.

He just smiled and cut into his pancakes before he simply said, "Likewise."

Rachel didn't know how he did it, but just that one word made her heart flutter like she was a sixteen-year-old school girl once again. They ate in companionable silence for a moment before Rachel finally said, "I know we didn't get to talk about it last night, but what you said during our performance last night..."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jesse replied, feigning innocence.

"Jesse… you said you loved me," she told him quietly.

"Ah, that," he said with a small smile before taking a large bite of his pancakes.

Rachel waited for him to elaborate and say something more. "Well?" she asked when he didn't say anything else.

"Well, what?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Do you really love me?" Rachel asked, taking out her building frustration with Jesse's non-reaction on her pancakes and putting a little bit more force than was necessary into cutting them.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it, Rach," he stated, continuing to eat his breakfast.

"Oh," was all she could manage lamely.

"I didn't say it expecting that you would say the words back to me," he explained, noticing her reaction. "Well, not until you're ready to say them." Rachel nodded as she listened to him. "I hadn't planned on saying that but when we were on that stage and I was kissing you and pretending to be in love with you, I looked down at you and realized that I didn't have to pretend that I was in love with you anymore. I _am_ in love with you."

Rachel knew she wanted to tell him that she felt the same but she just couldn't get the words out so she leaned over and pulled him in for a kiss. She poured all of the feelings that she couldn't say aloud into the kiss, hoping that Jesse would understand that she loved him too. "Let's go inside," she whispered against Jesse's lips as their kiss ended. The food currently sitting on the table in front of them, forgotten.

Standing up, Rachel grabbed Jesse's hand and pulled him to her. They stood inches apart from one another for a moment, just staring at each other as neither of them moved to go inside just yet. Rachel closed her eyes as Jesse cupped her cheek in his hand and ran his thumb along her bottom lip lightly. Her body was humming in anticipation of once again having him touch her and make love to her. A sigh escaped her lips as she felt Jesse's breath on her face just before his lips closed over her own.

Rachel snaked her arms around Jesse's neck as he grabbed her ass and lifted her up. Wrapping her legs around his waist with their lips locked together as they made their way back inside their suite. Rachel fully expected to be deposited onto the bed and to feel Jesse's weight on top of her, but instead her back came into contact with the hardness of the living room wall. They languidly explored each other's mouths with their tongues as if they were trying to burn to memory the taste and feel of the other for the moments that they couldn't be together.

Just when Rachel thought she couldn't be turned on anymore than she already was, the sensation of Jesse rubbing his hard-on against her proved her wrong. She was silently thankful that she had worn a dress to meet him for breakfast as she felt one of his hands move around to the front of her and his thumb drew lazy circles around her nub through her panties.

She missed the contact as he took his hand away and she felt him fumbling with the button his jeans. He set her back down on the floor just long enough for Rachel to discard her dress and panties then she helped rid him of his shirt as Jesse managed to undo the button and unzip his jeans. As soon as their clothes were in a messy heap in the middle of the floor, Jesse picked Rachel up and attached his mouth to hers once again.

Rachel felt the tip of him rub against her extremely wet center before he pushed into her in one quick thrust. Her grip on Jesse with both her arms and legs tightened as she worked to match his movements. She had thought that when he had pinned her up against the wall that he wanted a hard, quick fuck but she should have known by the way that he had kissed her that Jesse wanted to make love to her, slowly and passionately.

Jesse squeezed her ass as he plunged deep inside of her and kissed his way down her neck to her breasts. He smiled against her as she cried out when his teeth scraped her nipple between them. Rachel was on sensory overload as every thrust, lick and nip sent her hurling toward the edge of oblivion. She knew that Jesse was just as close as she was as his once steady and slow movements were becoming uneven and quick.

Hanging on to him as tightly as she could, Rachel thrust against Jesse as she rested her head against his shoulder. She finally let herself go and took him right over the edge with her as she heard Jesse whisper against her skin, "I love you."

* * *

Jesse lay against the headboard of the bed with the sheets draped over his waist and Rachel snuggled into his side. "I missed you this morning," Rachel confessed. "Is it crazy that after spending just two nights with you, I missed not waking up in your arms?"

"No," he replied. "If it is then I'm crazy too because I missed you too. It took everything in me to not call you up last night and tell you to come stay with me in this hotel room."

Rachel had wanted to avoid the topic of Isla but it was inevitable. They were going to have to talk about Isla and Donovan sometimes. It was unavoidable. "So how did it go when you got back to your apartment last night?" she asked.

"She was sound asleep when I got back so we didn't have to continue the discussion, but I'm sure she'll want to tonight after the show. By the time I woke up this morning she had already left for work," Jesse explained. He thought about how he had been surprised when he had gone into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and found that Isla had left him a fresh pot of coffee before she'd left. She had obviously taken his off-hand comment from their argument the night before, about him being an afterthought even in the simplest of ways, seriously. He hadn't been quite sure what to make of it.

Before Rachel could say anything else she heard her phone start ringing. She knew exactly who it was just by the ring.

Jesse felt her body tense up the moment she recognized the ring of her phone. "Is that Donovan's ring tone?" he asked, doing his best to keep his voice even.

"Yeah," she told him quietly.

"Do you want to –" he began.

"No," she cut him off quickly. She felt him simply place a light kiss on top of her head as he wrapped her more tightly in his arms.

"So I heard a song when I was listening to my iPod before the show yesterday and it got me thinking," Jesse said, changing the subject. He felt Rachel relax against him in relief.

"Uh oh, that's not good," she teased, leaning back and looking up at him with a twinkle in her eyes.

"I'm going to ignore that little comment," he replied, poking her in the side and making her giggle. "_Anyways_, I've decided that I'm going to ask you a question about yourself every day. Something that I don't already know."

"Hmm, do I also get to ask you the same question?" she asked with a smile.

"Sure, why not," he said, causing Rachel's smile to get even bigger.

"So what do you want to know about me?" Rachel wondered, looking at Jesse as he decided on what he wanted to ask her. He wanted to ask her a serious question but given her mood from Donovan's phone call he decided that he would keep it on the light side today. He would get the answers that he wanted eventually.

"What was your favorite Halloween costume ever?" he finally asked.

"That's what you want to know," Rachel said with a laugh. Of all the things he could have asked her, that was one that that she was not expecting. Rachel thought about it for a moment as she recalled her Halloween costumes as a kid. It was actually harder than she thought it was going to be then she remembered her costume when she was six-years-old and began laughing.

"What?" Jesse smiled as she continued to giggle over what she had apparently just remembered.

"When I was six I told my dads that I wanted to be little orphan Annie so we found the dress and fake dog and they even got me this big curly, red wig to wear," Rachel explained, still giggling as she remembered seeing the pictures of herself. "So we go to the first house and my dads were just expecting me to say trick-or-treat like every other kid does, but instead the moment the first person opened the door I broke out into song and started singing 'Tomorrow'," she told him, laughing harder now at the memory.

The image of a tiny little red-headed Rachel with her fake dog singing "Tomorrow" at the top of her lungs to some stranger made Jesse start laughing right along with her. It was so perfectly Rachel.

"So my dads thought that maybe it was a one-time thing that I had to do at the first house, but I sang to every person that opened the door for me," Rachel managed to get out as she continued to laugh. "I'll have to show you the pictures sometime," she added as she tried to catch her breath and stop laughing. "What about you?"

"Funnily enough, it's sort of in the same vain as yours," he said, remembering his costume from when he was eight-years-old. "My parents had a big blowout Halloween party every year for their friends and usually I would go trick-or-treating with the rest of the kids, but when I was eight I talked my parents into letting me stay at the party because I wanted to perform for all of their friends. So I dressed up like Michael Jackson in 'Thriller', complete with red leather jacket, and recruited some of my friends to do it with me. We learned all of the choreography and performed for all of my parents friends," Jesse recalled. "That was my first real concert. The first time I sang for someone other than a vocal coach."

"Please tell me there's a video of this somewhere," Rachel teased with a chuckle.

"Maybe," Jesse said, tackling her and pinning her underneath him. "But obviously I'm not going to show you now because you'll tease me mercilessly," he continued before he began tickling her, making her laugh harder.

"I can still give you a hard time," she managed as she laughed loudly, squirming as he continued to tickle her sides.

* * *

Rachel laughed as she sat in the back of a cab talking to Jesse on the phone as she headed to Kurt's after the show. She and Jesse had spent nearly the entire day in the hotel suite together, mostly in bed, before they'd had to check out and head over to the theatre. Late check-out was a beautiful thing.

Rachel hadn't been sure if it was because they were both so blissfully happy after spending the day together, but she felt that they had never performed better together. Rachel had been hoping that maybe Jesse would break character again and she would win their little wager but that hadn't happened so the bet lived to see another day. They had even left the theatre together, taking pictures with the fans, posing for pictures for the fans with each other and of course, signing autographs.

One fan in particular, a young boy, had apparently been feeling very bold as he had taken a picture with Rachel and Jesse was currently teasing her about it. "It's not funny," Rachel cried out, unable to contain her own laugh.

"You have to admit that it's a little funny that a ten-year-old little boy was bold enough to try and cop a feel," Jesse said, unable to even attempt to be contrite. "If you could have seen the look on your face when you felt his hand brush across your ass… You looked like you were about to spank him."

"I wanted to smack that shit-eating grin that he had on his face right off after he'd done it," she told him, still laughing. "But I'm glad you found it so amusing." Rachel heard her phone beep but saw that it was Kurt and figured that she would just talk to him when she got to his place in a little bit.

"You have to tell Kurt about it," Jesse laughed.

"No! He'll give me a hard time about it, just like you're doing right now," she retorted.

"As he should. Speaking of Kurt, are you at his place yet?" Jesse asked.

"Just pulled up to the building," Rachel said as she handed the taxi driver the money and stepped onto the sidewalk. "How are you not at home yet?"

"I am. I've been standing outside the building for a little while so I could talk to you," he explained, glancing up towards his apartment where he knew Isla was.

"Jesse…" she said quietly as she walked towards the entrance of the building.

"What? I like talking to you, is that such a bad thing?" She could hear the smile in his voice. "Even more after today."

"Today was a good day," she agreed, a smile gracing her lips as she remembered the time they'd spent together earlier in the day.

"Maybe we can do it again soon," Jesse suggested. When Rachel didn't respond or say anything, he got worried. "Rachel?" He heard her gasp.

"I have to go. I'll explain later," she rushed out before hanging up the phone.

Jesse just stood there dumbfounded as he looked at his phone. His first instinct was to rush over to Kurt's and make sure that she was alright, but then he realized how stupid that plan was since she clearly hadn't been in trouble as she wouldn't have told him that she would explain whatever it was later. After a moment, he realized what would have caused her to have a reaction like that. Or rather, who. Donovan.

Meanwhile, Rachel stood motionless in the lobby of Kurt's building just staring at Donovan who had gotten up from the chair he'd been sitting in and was now walking towards her. "If Mohammed won't come to the mountain…" Donovan said as he stopped in front of her.

It suddenly dawned on Rachel why Kurt would have been calling her when she was talking to Jesse. "Why are you just sitting in the lobby of Kurt's building?" she asked.

"Well, I tried to convince Kurt to let me wait in his apartment, but he said that he'd already told me once that when you were ready to talk that you would call me or come see me," Donovan explained, stepping closer to Rachel.

"So instead you decided to sit down here and ambush me in the lobby rather than in Kurt's apartment," Rachel quipped, walking around him towards the elevators.

"I've been trying to call you since last week and you won't answer my calls and I know how it pisses you off even more when I apologize in a text. So I didn't know what else to do to get you to talk to me," he replied, following her. "Rachel, just talk to me." He reached out and grabbed her arm, effectively preventing her from walking away.

"Fine," she sighed, turning around to look at him.

"Can we sit down?" he asked, motioning towards the area he had been sitting in previously. Rachel just nodded and led the way over to the chairs, plopping down in one as he sat down in the one next to her. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to do the talking. "I'm sorry," he simply said, leaning towards her with his arms resting on his knees. "I was an ass and I feel terrible for the way I acted on opening night."

Rachel shook her head in agreement with his statement of him being an ass, but didn't say anything as she waited for him to continue. "I've been really stressed out over the last few weeks. More than usual anyways and I took it out on you. I know it wasn't fair, but you know when I'm stressed or angry I lash out at the people closest to me."

"That's not a good excuse Donovan," she hissed.

"I know it's not," he conceded. "I'm just trying to explain myself, Rachel. Just please give me the chance to do that."

"Fine, what's had you so stressed out that you've been acting like a complete jackass," she questioned.

"Well, I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid that I would jinx it but I auditioned for a fairly substantial role in a musical revival recently. It's not a lead role or anything, but it's bigger than anything I've gotten a callback for so far," he told her pausing for a moment before continuing. "I'd gone back for my second audition a couple weeks ago and hadn't heard anything from them. I figured this was just another failed audition until I got the call a few days ago that I got the part." He was smiling at her excitedly, waiting for her to congratulate him.

Even though she was still upset with him, she couldn't deny that she was happy for him. "That's fantastic. Congratulations," she said with a small but genuine smile.

"I wanted to share the good news with you and tell you how much I regretted the things I said to you," he told her, taking her small hands in his. "I haven't had a good night's sleep since you left. I miss you, Rachel." Rachel felt like she was being crushed by guilt again as she looked into his eyes. "Please come back home with me."

What could she say to that? If she said no, the guilt would slowly eat away at her. Hadn't she told Jesse the very night before that she needed to be sure that Donovan was not who she wanted to be with? That she didn't want any doubts?

"Please," he begged once more.

"Alright," she acquiesced. "I just need to go get my stuff from Kurt's." She stood up, pulling her hands from his grasp.

"Great, I'll come with you," Donovan said, standing up next to her, ready to follow her to the elevator.

Rachel put her hand against his chest to stop him. "Kurt is still pretty upset with your behavior so you should probably just wait down here for me," she told him. "I'll just be a few minutes." Donovan nodded in understanding, his dark curls bouncing slightly and sat back down to wait for Rachel.

Once upstairs, Rachel let herself into Kurt's apartment with her key. "Oh my God, why haven't you answered your phone or checked your voicemails? I called you to warn you that Donovan was here," Kurt bombarded her the moment she walked in the door.

"I was on the phone with Jesse and didn't think that that whatever you needed was urgent," Rachel replied, setting her messenger bag down next to the door.

"Donovan wanted to stop by but I told him that there was no way in hell that I was letting him come up here and wait for you after the way he's treated you," Kurt rushed out.

"Actually, he was waiting down in your lobby since you denied him entrance into your apartment," she told him.

"Really?" he asked. "What happened?" He pulled Rachel over to the couch and made her sit down so she could tell him the story.

"He apologized for the way he's been acting and told me that a large part of it was because he was waiting to hear whether he got a role he had auditioned for," Rachel explained.

"Did he?"

"Yeah, he got it. He seems really happy, Kurt. Like whatever chip he had on his shoulder has been brushed off," she told him, looking away as she was unable to look her friend in the eyes.

"Rachel," Kurt pressed. "Look at me. What else?"

"He begged me to come back home," she squeaked out. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time but now under Kurt's disapproving glare she wasn't so sure.

"And?"

"And I told him I would come get my stuff and go back home with him," she managed to somehow get out. She looked down at her hands.

"So did he say he was sorry for acting like a dickhead for more than just last week? Because he's been a jerk to you for awhile, Rachel," Kurt said, irritated that Rachel would just so readily forgive Donovan. "Is it because you feel guilty about Jesse? Because Rachel, Donovan was behaving like a complete asshole long before Jesse came back into your life."

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "Maybe a little, but I owe it to him to give him a chance."

"Ask yourself this. If Donovan hadn't got the part, would he have come crawling back this week?" Kurt asked.

Rachel wasn't going to lie, the same thought had crossed her mind as Donovan had explained himself downstairs. "I don't know," she replied. "But I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here. He wasn't always the bitter, angry person he's been recently."

"Well, for his sake, I hope that he doesn't let you down," he finally said. Rachel nodded and smiled at her friend.

Standing up, she walked to Kurt's extra bedroom that she had been staying in and got all of her things together, zipping up her duffle bag. When she got out to the living room again, Kurt was standing there waiting for her. "Thank you for being such a wonderful friend," Rachel told him, wrapping her arms around his waist in a tight hug.

"Give me a call tomorrow," he said quietly, squeezing her lightly.

"I will," she replied as she let go of him and grabbed her messenger bag by the door before she opened it. She waved good-bye as Kurt shut the door behind her, Kurt's question about how things might be very different right now if Donovan hadn't been cast in the role he so desperately wanted was running circles in her mind. She tried to push the thought to the back of her mind as she pressed the button for the lobby to meet Donovan.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I know some of you didn't want Rachel to ever go back to Donovan, but it had to happen and I figured it was better to have it happen sooner rather than later to keep the story moving along.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: **I feel like I'm apologizing to you guys every chapter for taking so long to update. With how busy I've been over the last few weeks and am going to be, I'm probably only going to be posting a chapter a week for the foreseeable future. I just don't have the time to do more than that right now and I don't want you guys thinking that I've lost interest in this fic. As always, thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far. Keep the reviews coming because I love hearing what you guys think. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Rachel awoke the next morning to hear Donovan singing in the shower. She couldn't remember when the last time that she had heard him do that was. Rolling over, she looked at the clock to see what time it was. 9 AM.

She contemplated sending Jesse a text message, but then thought better of it as she thought how a text message just wasn't the best way to let Jesse know about Donovan and what had happened the night before. As Donovan continued to sing, Rachel wished that it were Jesse's voice that she heard coming from the shower instead. Immediately, she felt that all too familiar pang of guilt for even having the thought.

Finally, she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, heading straight for the kitchen for some coffee. She really needed coffee after the restless night she had just had. A very _large_ cup of coffee.

Walking into the living room, she sat down on the couch and held the cup in both of her hands and blew on the hot drink to try and cool it down. She was so completely in her own world, caught up in her own thoughts, that she didn't even hear Donovan walk up behind her. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek from behind which startled her out of her reverie. "Morning, babe," Donovan said. She hated when he used that smarmy term of endearment.

"Morning," she responded, turning her head and watching him walk back towards the kitchen to pour his own cup of coffee. He was in nothing but a towel, his dark curls still wet from the shower he had just taken. There was no denying that he was an extremely good-looking man. Rachel thought about how at one time she would have looked at him like that and wanted to ravage him, but she didn't have that urge as she looked at him now. "You seem very happy this morning."

"Life is good, babe." There was that word again. It was like nails on a chalkboard to Rachel. "I'm finally going to _really_ be in a Broadway show after slugging away all these years. It feels good to know that all that hard work finally paid off. And, of course, you're back home again." Rachel couldn't help but notice that the first thing that he'd mentioned was his show and not her.

"So have you guys started workshops yet?"

"Actually we start in a couple of days. I was hoping that you might be free today to maybe run lines with me and help me with some of the songs," he said as he came over and sat next to her on the couch.

"Um, yeah, I have some time." Rachel did her best to smile at him brightly. The smile actually hurt her face.

"Great. It's been too long since we spent an entire day together," Donovan told her, before he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. She almost recoiled from his kiss but recovered quickly, smiling up at him as he stood up and went to the bedroom to get dressed.

Rachel wanted to take a shower, but she didn't want Donovan to think it was an invitation for him to join her if she went into the bathroom and undressed while he was in a semi-nude state. So she patiently sat on the couch and continued to drink her coffee while she waited for him to come out of the bedroom fully clothed. The moment she heard his footsteps and turned to see he was dressed, she stood up and walked into the bedroom. "I'm just going to take a shower," she threw over her shoulder as she breezed past him towards the bathroom. "I won't be long."

She got undressed and jumped in the shower as quickly as possible. Rachel had only been standing under the spray for a few moments when Donovan popped his head in to the bathroom. "We don't have anything for breakfast so I'm going to run down to the bakery and grab us some bagels. I'll be back in a few minutes, babe."

"Okay, _babe_," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes at that stupid word he seemed to think was so sweet. She didn't know why it bothered her so much. Maybe it was the fact that she had told him time and time again how much she didn't like when he called her that, but for some reason, today it was ten times worse than any other time he said it. She took a deep breath as she thought about how they were going to spend most of the day together and if she didn't want to fight with him all day then she needed to not let every little thing that he did get on her nerves.

* * *

In another apartment not too far away from Rachel's, Jesse padded into his kitchen only to find Isla sitting at the counter drinking her coffee, eating a bagel and reading the newspaper. "Good morning," Jesse said, voice still gravelly with sleep.

Isla looked up from her newspaper with a warm smile. "Good morning," she replied before taking a bit of her bagel.

After pouring himself a cup of coffee, Jesse sat next to her at the counter. "Shouldn't you be at work by now?" he asked, doing his best to not make the question sound accusatory. His wife was always to the office by 8 AM sharp, yet here she was sitting in their kitchen like she was in no hurry to be anywhere.

"I'm going in a little late this morning," she said cryptically. "Bagel?" she offered, pushing her small plate with the other uneaten half in front of Jesse.

"Thanks," he managed. "So what are you reading about? Politics? World news?" She gave him a look that said _you know me better than that._ "Page Six?"

"Of course," she replied with a coy smile.

"Any interesting celebrity news I should know about?" Jesse asked, taking a bite of the bagel.

"Hmm, none that I think you would care about. Although, there is an interesting blind item," she told him before handing him the paper so he could read said blind item.

Jesse nearly choked on his bagel when he read what it said.

_Which two hot, young Broadway stars have been spotted out and about on the town and even exiting a hotel together? Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal but these two just so happen to be in serious committed relationships with other people. I wonder how long those relationships will last?_

"Huh," Jesse said, handing the paper back to Isla. He felt like he could have honestly thrown up at that moment, but he kept his composure as he looked at his wife. "Do they ever reveal who the subjects of the blind items are?"

"No, but it's fun to speculate about who it could possibly be. Do you think it's anyone that you know?" she asked, looking at the blind item again.

Jesse simply shrugged. "Maybe," he lied. "They don't really give you much to go on in those things."

"Normally, they give better hints as to who it's about, but this one is pretty vague," she conceded, looking back at him. "So I was thinking that we could do a late dinner after the show. How does that sound?"

What could he say to that? No? "Sure," he agreed. "We can go out somewhere if you want."

"I was thinking that we should just stay in," she flirtatiously replied. She stood up and leaned over to give him a peck on the lips. It was the first time that they'd kissed since before she'd left for Paris. "Let me know if you hear any good gossip today," she said with a wink as she grabbed her purse off the counter.

"See you tonight," Jesse said, giving her a small wave as she walked out the door. The moment she shut the door behind her, he reached for the Post to re-read the blind item. Yep, it was still the same. He hadn't even thought that anyone would even give a shit about what he or Rachel did in their spare time. Sure they were on Broadway, but it wasn't like they were Hollywood stars or anything. Yet. He'd thought that he'd been pretty discreet, but apparently not discreet enough.

They would have to be more careful in the future.

* * *

By mid-afternoon, Rachel was surprised by how much she and Donovan were actually enjoying each other's company. Granted, they hadn't really spoken about anything of significance throughout the day, but instead had been in their acting comfort zone. He actually welcomed her critiques rather than getting irritated with her which was surprising since Donovan had never taken criticism well. It was a nice change from the way things had been for awhile.

Rachel liked being able to connect with Donovan on this level again. It made her remember why she had been drawn to him in the first place. As she looked up at him smiling, she realized how close they were standing together as they finished the scene they had been running lines for. She felt panic begin to rise in her chest once again as she saw him moving closer to her. Before she knew it his lips were on hers in a hard kiss as he wrapped her in his arms.

At first, she kissed him back like she knew she should but it felt off. It suddenly felt like she was trapped in his arms and all she wanted to do was escape them. Breaking their kiss, Rachel pushed Donovan away as gently as she could.

"What's wrong?" Donovan questioned. Slightly puzzled by her abrupt end to the moment they had just been sharing.

"Look at what time it is," she replied, brushing off his question. "I have to get to the theatre." She stepped out of his arms fully and backed away from him slowly. Setting down the other copy of Donovan's script that she had been using on the kitchen counter, she scanned the room for her bag and saw it sitting just next to the door.

"I understand," he told her, not moving from the spot where she had left him standing. "I'll see you later tonight then?"

Nodding her head in response, she walked over to him and placed a quick kiss on his cheek before he could kiss her lips again. As she picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, she looked back and smiled at Donovan one more time. Then she walked out the door.

* * *

Jesse handed the Post to Thomas as they sat in a back booth of the restaurant and waited for their food to come. "What's this?" Thomas asked.

"Read it," Jesse told him as he pointed at the blind item.

Thomas did as Jesse instructed and Jesse saw his eyes grow wide as it dawned on him that the blind item was about his friend. "Are you serious? How do they even find this shit out?"

"I don't know. Even though Rachel and I didn't check in together, I guess I was stupid to use my real name at the hotel, but the 'out and about town together' part? Is someone constantly watching me?" Jesse asked, suddenly looking around the restaurant to see if anyone was listening to their conversation.

"Man, don't be paranoid. Nobody's even paying attention to us," his friend reassured him. Thomas read the blind item again and looked up at Jesse questioningly. "So you guys got a hotel room?"

Jesse just nodded in response, then gulped down his water like he was dying of thirst. Jesse and Thomas had talked a lot ever since Jesse had started having an affair with Rachel but Jesse had done everything in his power to avoid actually talking about Rachel. He realized how good it was to be able to confide in someone.

"I take it that it's been going on for a little while between you two if you're getting hotel rooms together," Thomas remarked.

"Well, _that's_ fairly new but what's happening between me and Rachel started the day we began working together," he said honestly He knew Thomas knew that as well. "Do you think anyone at the theatre's noticed?"

"Nah, you guys don't really act any different now than you did during rehearsals. I think if you guys start avoiding each other then people are going to wonder what's going on, you know?"

Jesse nodded his head in understanding. Thomas was right. Now he just needed to convince Rachel of that and keep her from freaking out. That was going to be tough.

* * *

For the last half an hour, Rachel had been lying on her couch listening to one of her favorite songs on repeat, Amy Stroup's "Alas We Aspire". The song had just begun to play again when she heard a knock on her dressing room door. "Come in," she said loudly enough for the person knocking to hear. She was surprised when she saw Jesse enter the room. He never knocked.

Without saying a word, he walked over to the couch and sat down before he took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. Rachel sighed contentedly as she pulled him closer to her. His kiss was like coming home. "How are you?" Jesse asked softly as they broke apart, brushing her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Better now," she told him. Rachel smiled as she heard the second verse of the song begin. _Look through my words/I'm mine/You're yours._ It was funny how they really did have a real-life soundtrack. She guessed it was fitting seeing as how it was music that had brought them together in the first place. _Look through my words/You're mine/I'm yours._

She reached up and gently brushed a perfect curl off of his forehead before placing a soft kiss on his lips again. "I like this song," he said as he listened to it play.

"I like you," her voice barely above a whisper.

"Ditto." He lightly bumped her nose affectionately with his own. Finally, he sat up and leaned back on the other arm of the couch. "Do you want to tell me what happened after I got off the phone with you last night? Obviously, it had to do with Donovan."

Rachel looked away, avoiding his gaze as she nodded. "He showed up at Kurt's full of apologies and explanations."

"And they were?" Jesse prompted.

"Apparently, he'd auditioned for a role a little while back and had been really stressed out about whether or not he would actually get this one so that was why he had been acting like a complete jackass. He got the role so he's all happy again," she explained.

"So I take it you're back at your apartment now?"

"Yeah…"

Jesse simply nodded without saying a word. He contemplated what he wanted to say then he finally spoke, "That's good."

"That's good?" Rachel was a bit taken aback by his reaction. Not that she wanted him to feel hurt because after all he was still with his wife. But the irrational part of her had been hoping for a more extreme – _jealous_ – reaction than "that's good".

"You said you didn't want us to have any doubts, so the sooner we both figure it out, the better," he said, running his hand up and down her leg absentmindedly. "There's something I have to tell you."

Rachel felt her stomach drop at the sudden change in his tone of voice. Whatever he had to tell her couldn't be good.

He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a folded up newspaper page then handed it to her. Rachel took it nervously thinking that perhaps they had finally received a bad review. She slowly opened up the page to see that it was actually a page from the Post. Page Six to be exact. "Read the blind item," he told her.

Her eyes scanned the page until she found the blind item and gasped the moment she read it, dropping the piece of paper on the ground as she jumped up off the couch. "Oh my God," she managed, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Rach," Jesse said, getting off the couch and walking over to her. "Don't freak out. It's so vague no one will even know who in the hell they're talking about." He laid a soothing hand on her back and rubbed smooth circles, trying to get her to breathe and calm down.

"Someone knows about us, Jesse," she said, trying to keep her voice level. "Or multiple someone's." Jesse could see the wheels turning in her head as she thought about the implications. "What if people do figure it out? What will happen to the show? What will happen to our careers?" Rachel asked. It wasn't the first time that she had thought about it. Before her worries had just been what-ifs, but now there were people out there that knew. People in the press who would run with a story if they thought it would sell newspapers or magazines.

"We're just going to have to be more careful," he reassured her. Then another thought crossed his mind. "That is, unless you want to stop this. Us," he added, gesturing between them.

She didn't even have to think about it. She shook her head adamantly. "No, I can't do that." Rachel wanted so badly to tell him that she couldn't not be with him because she was in love with him, but she just couldn't get the words to reach her lips. At first she hadn't told him because she was afraid, but now she felt like she was protecting both of them by not admitting how deep her feelings for Jesse actually were. And even though the way she was with Jesse told him how she really felt about him, there was something to be said for the reassurance that those three little words could bring.

"Rachel," Jesse said, interrupting her thoughts. He grabbed her arms gently and squeezed them a little. "Everything is going to fine. You and I are going to be fine. _We_ are going to be fine."

"You don't know that," she replied, defeated.

"I do," he whispered before pulling her in for a searing kiss. Rachel moaned against his lips as she ran her hands under his shirt, feeling the warm skin of his back. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and they melted into each other, losing themselves for a moment. "I have to see you tomorrow," Jesse told her as he reluctantly pulled away.

"Why not tonight?" Rachel asked, then she remembered what she had told Donovan. "Shit, I said I'd be home after the show."

"Yeah, I told Isla that we could have a late dinner together," he confessed. The jealous look that crossed Rachel's features briefly did not go unnoticed by Jesse. "Tomorrow then?" he asked as he backed away towards the door, knowing that both he and Rachel really needed to get into hair and makeup.

She nodded her head and smiled. "Tomorrow."

* * *

**Author's Note: **When I heard Amy Stroup's "Alas We Aspire" on Smallville this last week, I immediately fell in love with the song and knew I had to use it in my fic somehow. It's quickly become one of my favorite songs, especially to write to.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: **Since it took me a little longer to get this chapter out than I would've liked, I made it a little longer to make up for it. I hope that you guys are still enjoying the fic. If I'm not too crazy busy this week then I'll probably have the next chapter out sooner than the last few have been posted since I know exactly what's going to happen in the next chapter. I love reviews way too much but I like hearing what you guys think so please review. Enjoy!

* * *

"Hey, I'm on my way home," Jesse said, calling Isla after he left the theatre. "Are you sure you don't want to go have dinner somewhere?"

"I'm sure," Isla told him. "I'll see you in a bit." And with that they both hung up the phone. Jesse had been hoping that she'd say yes so he could avoid any awkward attempts for Isla to be intimate with him.

Ten minutes later, Jesse walked through the door to their apartment to find dinner on the table and lots of candles lit all around their apartment. _Shit_, Jesse thought. This had been exactly what he'd been worried about.

"Hi," his wife greeted him, breezing into the living room, thankfully, fully clothed. After the romantic setting she'd created, he had been worried that he was going to find her in some new lingerie or nothing at all. It wouldn't have been the first time that she had done something like that. In fact, when they first got married she had done that very thing quite often. "Did you have a good day?" she asked, after giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Yeah, I did," he told her, following her towards the table. "It smells delicious." He looked at the food laid out on the table. He had always been the cook so he was a little surprised to see what she had done. "Did you cook all of this?"

"When have I ever been able to cook a meal like this?" she asked him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I ordered in." She leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on his lips. When he didn't move to deepen the kiss, Jesse felt her run her tongue along his bottom lip, obviously hoping that he would take the hint.

Instead, Jesse broke the kiss and pulled back slightly. "I'm starving," he said, looking over at the table. He would be a heartless bastard if he didn't feel somewhat bad for the rejected look on his wife's face, but he wasn't in the mood to do what she apparently had on her mind. At least not with her.

Isla let Jesse out of her grasp and they both walked over to the table and sat down. The dinner did not go exactly how Isla had planned. The conversation was stilted and a little uncomfortable in contrast with the very romantic atmosphere that she had arranged. Jesse was sure that she had been thinking that he would make love to her as soon as dinner was over, but instead he helped her clean up the dishes and told her how tired he was.

"It's been a long day," Jesse said, putting the last dish into the dishwasher. "I'm going to head to bed. Thank you for dinner." He leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek before retreating to their bedroom. As Jesse lay in the dark of the room, listening to the sounds of the TV drifting in from the living room he knew that Isla hadn't put up much of a fight tonight. But how long would he be able to keep putting off her sexual advances? Eventually, 'I'm tired' just wasn't going to be acceptable anymore.

* * *

When Jesse awoke the next morning, he had hoped that the day would pass quickly and he would see Rachel before he knew it. Unfortunately, the exact opposite happened. The day dragged by so slowly that Jesse wondered if show time was ever going to come. The moment he arrived at the theatre, he sent Rachel a text message.

_My dressing room after the show. _

When Rachel saw the message she smiled and immediately typed out a response.

_Pretty confident that I'm just going to come if you tell me to. ;)_

He laughed when he read the message and his mind immediately went to a dirty place. His fingers hovered over the screen as he considered sending her a reply as dirty as his thoughts but decided to save it for later.

_Way too easy._

Seeing his text, Rachel shook her head and laughed. She should've known that her innocuous response would immediately send his thoughts to _that_ place. Even as she hit the send button her mind started wandering to a far dirtier place as well.

_Your mind would go there._

Jesse again considered sending her a reply that might cause her to blush especially if there were other people in the room.

_Just wait till later._

Rachel felt her entire body tingle as she read his message. It had only been a mere twenty-four hours since they'd last been together but it felt like an eternity. It wasn't just his touch that she missed when they were apart, she missed talking to him and just being with him. She craved him in a way that she'd never felt about anyone before. It was exhilarating yet terrifying at the same time. Finally, she sent him a text with a sly smile.

_Try not to get too carried away thinking about later during our love scene. I'd hate for you to break character and lose our little bet._

Grinning as he read her text message and her not-so-subtle challenge, he sent her a response.

_Oh, don't worry, I'm already thinking of what you're going to do for me when I win the bet. ;)_

* * *

As soon as they had taken their final bow and walked backstage, Rachel walked towards her dressing room and watched as Jesse made his way towards his. Instead of him walking straight into his dressing room like he always did, he turned and as they locked eyes, he looked at her in such a way that made desire pool low in her belly. Keeping his gaze locked with hers, he opened his door and walked inside slowly. A wordless invitation for her to join him now rather than after she'd changed.

Rachel looked around the hallway at all of the hustle and bustle currently going on backstage, wondering if anyone would even notice or care that she was heading towards Jesse's dressing room still in costume. She knew everyone was used to the both of them hanging out in each other's dressing rooms so she decided to risk it. Without knocking, she opened the door and walked in expecting to find Jesse sitting on the couch waiting for her.

Instead, she felt his strong hands push her up against the door as soon as she walked inside, effectively shutting the door. His lips descended onto hers in a searing kiss as she heard his hand fumble with the lock on the door. Their tongues danced as her hands came up to bury themselves in his hair. _God, he feels wonderful,_ Rachel thought as Jesse's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her tightly to him.

Finally, gasping for air as they broke apart, Rachel giggled as she saw her bright red lipstick smeared all over his lips.

"Is something funny?" he asked, still breathless.

Reaching up, Rachel did her best to wipe away the lipstick from his lips. "You're wearing my lipstick now," she said softly.

"A small price to pay," he whispered, huskily as he laid a soft kiss on her lips. He had meant for it to be just a simple chaste kiss on the lips, but he just couldn't pull away from her and instead kissed her deeply and slowly. Reluctantly breaking their kiss, he asked "You wanna christen my couch?" Rachel sighed in response to his question as his lips brushed against hers.

She let Jesse lead her over to the couch fully expecting him to pull her on top of him. When they reached the couch he pushed her down gently and covered her body with his own as he lay down on top of her. Rachel loved the feeling of his weight on her.

"You're all I've thought about since yesterday," she admitted, lightly brushing his lips with her fingertips. She noted how perfect his lips were as she continued tracing them with her fingers. The fullness of his bottom lip and the perfect bow of his upper lip.

Jesse just watched her as she silently marveled at the wonder that was his mouth. He kissed her fingertips gently as she ran them down his lips causing Rachel to look into his eyes. They smiled at each other before Jesse reclaimed her lips once more then made his way down to her neck. Rachel moaned as he ran his hand underneath her dress and up her thigh slowly. Finding the sides of her underwear, he slid them down her legs before tossing them on the floor. Undoing a few of the buttons on her costume, he began kissing and sucking on her breast.

There was something so completely hot to Jesse about the both of them still being in their costumes. Judging from Rachel's reaction, she definitely thought the same. Reaching up, Rachel slid the military jacket off of Jesse just before she unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off of him as well. Her hands made their way down his bare chest and then between their bodies as she grabbed his belt buckle and undid it, along with the button and zipper of his pants.

Jesse just watched her as she smiled at him wickedly and took him in her hands, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from him at the contact. Pulling him free of the confines of his boxers and pants, she wrapped her legs around his waist, lifting her hips slightly to guide him into her. They groaned in pleasure as he pushed into her deeply.

If Jesse's kiss had felt like home then having him inside of her felt like heaven.

* * *

Rachel's head rested on the arm of the couch as they lay tangled together side-by-side in his dressing room. "So how was dinner last night?" Rachel asked, not being able to contain her morbid curiosity any longer.

"Fine," was all Jesse offered. He knew that wouldn't satisfy Rachel, but he hoped it would. He didn't want to talk about Isla right now. He just wanted to be in the moment with Rachel.

"That's it? 'Fine'?" she asked, wanting to know more. "What happened?" Her voice was gentle but insistent.

Jesse sighed as he played with Rachel's hair absentmindedly. "Nothing happened really. Isla ordered takeout and we just ate dinner together," he told her, vaguely.

"What aren't you telling me," she asked, gently turning his face towards her so he would have to look her in the eyes. "Did something happen between you guys?"

"When I got home, there were candles lit all over the place," he confessed. "She wanted a romantic dinner."

Rachel swallowed the jealousy that bubbled inside of her and said, "So it sounds like she's trying." He simply nodded. She was going to have to drag every little piece of information out of him it seemed. "Did anything happen?"

"She kissed me," he told her. "But I pulled away instead of kissing her back which made for an incredibly awkward dinner."

Hearing Jesse admit that he'd been unable to return his wife's affections, made Rachel feel better about how she had reacted to Donovan when he had kissed her the day before. It gave her a sense of calm that she and Jesse both seemed to be feeling the same things. She leaned up, placing a tender kiss on his lips.

"Love you," Jesse whispered as she pulled back. Rachel just smiled warmly at him in response.

"We should probably both get changed and get out of here," she said, reluctantly sitting up.

"No one will miss us," he replied with a mischievous smile as he reached up to pull her back to him. Rachel laughed as he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"I think the fans that diligently wait outside the stage door night after night might," she protested half-heartedly. The pout on Jesse's lips was so adorable that she just couldn't resist kissing him once again.

"I don't want to say good-night to you yet."

"Will the promise of there being a tomorrow night that doesn't involve a dressing room help ease the pain," Rachel teased.

"It might." The grin on his face made Rachel want to swoon.

"I promise that we'll have plenty of time tomorrow night. Just leave the planning to me," she told him.

"Okay, I lied." With a laugh, he spun her around and pinned her underneath him on the couch.

"Jesse," she giggled as he peppered her face and neck with kisses.

Their laughter died down after a moment and his face turned serious. "It's getting harder and harder to say good-bye."

Everything in Rachel was screaming that this was the moment that she should tell him that she loved him. She wanted him to know that but instead all that came out was, "I know."

* * *

As Rachel was on her way home, her phone vibrated indicating she had a call. She smiled and answered her phone without even looking at the screen to see who was calling. "Miss me already?" she asked.

"Of course I do, babe," came Donovan's response, making Rachel's heart stop. She was so thankful that she hadn't answered her phone saying Jesse's name. "So some of us are having drinks and I wanted to see if you wanted to join us?"

Really all she wanted to do was go home, but she was the one that had pushed for her and Jesse to try with both Isla and Donovan to be sure that they both really did want to end their long-term relationships. "Sure," she agreed. "Where should I meet you?"

He gave her the name of the bar and the address so she could tell the taxi driver where to go. Ten minutes later, she walked through the front door of the bar and immediately found Donovan sitting around some tables with a large group of people. Plastering on a smile, she walked over to Donovan who immediately stood up and gave her a quick kiss. Introducing Rachel to everyone, he pulled up a chair for her so she could sit down next to him.

Rachel noted how they seemed like a little family already. Looking over at Donovan who was laughing at what someone had said, she realized how happy he looked. She hadn't seen him this happy in so long. She felt a wave of sadness as she thought about how his happiness had everything to do with his new role and nothing to do with her.

"So Rachel, Donovan tells us that you two are getting married soon," the girl who was sitting next to Rachel said. Rachel tried not to choke on her drink at the girl's words which were news to her. She and Donovan hadn't talked about setting a date in so long, and they certainly weren't actively planning their wedding right now. "I just got engaged myself." She showed Rachel her large, sparkling diamond. "What's it like trying to plan a wedding with such a busy schedule? I'm worried that I'm not going to have any time to do it myself even with a wedding planner."

Rachel wasn't sure what to say. Should she lie and keep up Donovan's façade that he'd apparently presented to his cast mates of them being a happy little perfect couple? She certainly wasn't going to tell a complete stranger the truth either, so she settled for something in between the two. "We've taken a break in the planning until we both get a little more settled in our roles and know what our schedules are going to be like in the coming months," Rachel lied. It was scary how easily the lie rolled off her tongue.

"Donovan won't tell us but when are you guys getting married," the girl whose name Rachel could not remember asked her. Rachel didn't know what to say since they had most definitely _not_ set a date.

Suddenly, Donovan threw his arm around Rachel's shoulders pulling her closer to him. "Emma, are you trying to get information out of my fiancé?" he asked good-naturedly.

"I thought Rachel might be willing to let us in on the secret since you obviously won't," Emma teased.

"Fine, if you must know, we're getting married in May," he told Emma, smiling. Rachel looked at him with wide eyes. What the hell was he talking about? Did he just set a date for their wedding without discussing it with her first?

"It'll be so beautiful in May," Emma said to Rachel.

Rachel maintained her showface and continued to smile at Emma. Her smile was making her face hurt. "Yeah, May should be wonderful," Rachel agreed. "If you'll excuse me, I need to step outside for a moment." Taking her purse with her, she stood up and walked towards the front door of the bar with Donovan closely in tow.

Once they were outside, they walked down the street a little ways before Rachel turned around to face Donovan. "What the hell was that?" Rachel asked, trying hard to contain the rage that was boiling inside of her.

"What are you talking about?"

"You ambushing me with a wedding date and telling someone I barely know when we're getting married," she hissed out. "We haven't even discussed it in months Donovan and now all of a sudden we're setting dates."

"I thought you'd be happy," he said, surprised by her reaction.

"You never even asked me when _I'd_ like to get married, but you arbitrarily decide that May is a good time for us to get married to save face for your cast mates?" She was doing everything she could from raising her voice and shouting at him. She was seething and Donovan could see just how angry she was.

"Rachel, I'm sorry," he apologized. "I honestly didn't think that it would upset you and that was never my intent. I just thought that we were both ready now to finally set a date and get married." He wrapped his arms around her waist, hoping that she wouldn't shove him off of her. He breathed a silent sigh of relief when she didn't.

Finally she said, "That's the problem, Donovan. You don't think." It was matter-of-fact that Donovan didn't know how to react.

"I'm sorry," he reiterated, reaching up to cup her face in his hand.

She twisted out of his grasp. "I'm going home," she told him.

"What am I supposed to tell everyone?" The irritation evident in his voice. He felt like she was overreacting.

"Tell them I don't feel good," she offered. "I don't care. I'll see you later."

He watched her walk down the street in search of a taxi cab and obviously wanting to get as far away from her fiancé as possible.

She managed to flag down a cab a couple of blocks away and immediately found her phone to call her best friend. "Hello?" Kurt asked, groggily.

"He just set a date," Rachel blurted out, not bothering with any pleasantries.

"What?" His was brain still foggy from sleep that she had just interrupted. "Who?"

"Donovan just told his cast mates that we're getting married in May," she explained.

"Why would he do that?" Kurt walked into the living room and shut the door to the bedroom on a still sleeping Daniel. "You guys haven't even discussed it in months."

"That's what I said!" Rachel cried out. She saw the taxi driver look at her through the rear view mirror. "Some girl who's in the cast is getting married and she started asking me all these questions and Donovan offers up that we're getting married in May!"

"May? Since when did you ever want to get married in May? Did he ever listen to a word you said after you got engaged? You're not a spring bride."

"Exactly, but apparently he's forgotten that little tidbit."

"Do you need to come over?" He was tired but if his friend needed to talk he'd be more than happy to stay up with her for a little while.

"No, I woke you up. We can meet for lunch tomorrow, though."

He breathed a silent sigh of relief at not having to stay up another few hours. "We will definitely meet for lunch. Go home, take a shower, get some rest and we'll talk tomorrow."

"Alright. Thank you for listening to me. I love you," she told him, smiling.

"I love you too. Good night." Hanging up the phone, Kurt walked back into the bedroom and had never been so thankful that his life was pretty drama free.

* * *

The next night after the show and Jesse had met with all of the fans at the stage door, he headed to the place that Rachel had told him to meet her in the text message she had sent to him earlier in the day. Looking around, he didn't see her anywhere, so he opened his phone and checked the text message again. He was in the right place.

Then he heard her voice. "Are you waiting for someone in particular?"

He turned to see her in a limo next to him. "Not really," he responded with a smirk.

"Want a ride?" She opened the door in invitation and slid further into the backseat of the limo.

Wordlessly, he got into the limo, shutting the door behind him and rolling the window up. As soon as they were away from any possible prying eyes in the back of the limo, Jesse's lips found Rachel's. "Hi." The soft tone of his voice and the way he was gazing at her made Rachel's heart skip a beat.

"Hi," was all she could manage. Remembering that she needed to tell the driver what they were doing, she rolled the partition down.

"Where to, ma'am?" the driver asked.

"We'd just like to see New York at night so let's start at the Met and work our way downtown," Rachel explained.

"Sounds good, ma'am. Let me know if you need anything else." Thanking him, Rachel rolled up the partition again and locked it to ensure that she and Jesse had complete privacy.

"What do you have planned," Jesse asked, pulling her closer to him.

"What do you think?" The suggestive tone of her voice did not escape Jesse as Rachel leaned over to the stereo and turned the sound up.

"So… no sight-seeing then?" He ran his hands up and down her sides.

"No sight-seeing," she confirmed, sliding over and straddling his lap. Then added, "For now at least," and pressed her lips to his.

The limo had barely pulled away from the curb before Rachel and Jesse were frantically tearing one another's clothes off. Lips and hands, everywhere and anywhere. "You do realize that the driver's going to know what we're doing back here," Jesse managed as they both tried to catch their breath, her now naked body pressed up against his as they held each other closely.

"I don't care," she told him, as she sank down onto him eliciting a low groan from Jesse. They began a slow, steady rhythm as their lips met in a fierce kiss. Their tongues tangled feverishly as their bodies collided in an ever increasing rough pace.

Rachel braced her hand on the roof of the car as Jesse thrust up into her repeatedly, her mouth in the shape of an O with her silent cries of ecstasy. It was always a conundrum when they were together like this because while neither of them wanted it to end, they so desperately wanted the sweet release that they knew was inevitable and this time was no different as a couple more thrusts sent Rachel tumbling over the edge in ecstasy and she brought Jesse with her.

They just stared at each other intensely, neither of them saying a word, as their bodies shuddered from the aftershocks of their orgasms. Again, Rachel felt the overwhelming urge to tell Jesse just how much she did love him, but just like every other time, something else escaped her lips, "So much better than sight-seeing."

Jesse just laughed. "I can't argue with that."

* * *

"Favorite New York moment?" Jesse asked as they lay on the floor of the limo looking out of the open sunroof at the night skyline of the city once they both had managed to put their clothes back on.

"It's hard," she told him, thinking about her answer for a moment. "I have two, I guess."

"And they are?"

"Number one is the first time I ever saw my name on a marquee on Broadway." Remembering that moment, caused a huge smile to spread across her face. "I dreamed about it my whole life and always hoped and prayed that it would happen for me one day if I put in enough work. I just never realized what it would actually feel like when it really happened."

"There's nothing quite like it," Jesse agreed also recalling seeing his name in lights on Broadway for the first time. "The second?"

"Singing 'Both Sides Now' with you at Carnegie Hall," she said, her smile growing even wider.

"Really?" He was a little surprised by her answer. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but it wasn't that.

"Really. Why does that surprise you?" She turned her head to look at him.

"I don't know. I just thought that…" He thought about it for moment. "That if it had something to do with me then it'd be the first time we took the stage together on opening night."

"That's up there," she told him. "But that night in Carnegie Hall was just… perfect." She sighed at the memory as she turned to gaze out the open sunroof again. "What about you?"

"I have two as well. The first time I went to the Tony's." Now it was Rachel's turn to be surprised. Glancing over, he saw the look on her face and decided to explain. "Walking that red carpet and photographers calling my name and wanting to take a picture of me was so surreal and amazing. Seeing all of those people that I'd admired for so many years who were now my peers was exhilarating. I'll never forget it." The wistful tone in his voice making Rachel smile warmly.

"The other one?"

"The night you showed up at my doorstep," he said, lacing his fingers through hers as he turned his head to look at her causing Rachel's heart to skip a beat. The look on his face was one of pure love that made Rachel want to melt in his arms. With his free hand, he reached up and buried his fingers in her hair as he touched his forehead to hers. "_That_ was a perfect night."

* * *

The next several weeks were filled with stolen moments for Jesse and Rachel. When they weren't spending time with their significant others or at the theatre, they were together. Most of the time, it was just a kiss or a caress in a dark corner backstage away from prying eyes. Sometimes it was a heavy petting session under a dark stoop with passers-by unaware of the two Broadway stars making out just feet below them. Other times it was a quickie in an elevator they knew didn't have cameras in it or even the one time after they'd had dinner together over at Kurt's and had gone up to the rooftop garden after he had unwittingly confirmed that there were no security cameras up there.

The most daring was perhaps the one morning that Jesse had called up Rachel as soon as Isla had left for work and told her to come over to his apartment where they spent the better part of the morning making love.

Their stolen moments weren't always lust-filled. They took every moment that they could learning more and more about each other. Just as Jesse had promised, he asked her a new question about herself every day. It only served to bring them closer together. One day, instead of spending the beautiful, sunny fall day indoors they decided to go to Central Park together.

Jesse packed a blanket in his backpack and Rachel stopped at a bakery to grab them lunch on her way to meet him at Cedar Hill in the park. When Rachel arrived, she saw Jesse sitting on a blanket near a large fir tree. The moment he saw her walking towards him, his face lit up.

"You look beautiful," Jesse said to her in greeting. She wanted to kiss him so badly as she sat down, but this was too open for her to risk being seen by anyone. All it would take was one person, the wrong person, to see them and their world would come crashing down around them.

"Hi," she said softly, resting her hand next to his on the blanket, just barely brushing his hand with hers.

"What'd you bring?" he asked, leaning over her to grab the bag that she'd brought.

"Jesse," she warned, as she felt his breath on the side of her face.

He pulled back quickly with the bag in hand with a shit-eating grin on his face. "What?" Rachel just shook her head and laughed softly as she watched him dig through the bag and pull out the sandwiches, a fruit salad and finally the chocolate bouchons that Rachel loved so much.

Handing her one of the sandwiches, they sat and just talked as they ate and watched various people walk by. Making up stories for each person that passed by, each story more elaborate than the next. Before they knew it, an hour had passed. Rachel looked down at the blanket and saw the bag with the bouchons still sitting there. As Rachel bit into the bouchon, the she had grabbed she noticed Jesse just watching her intently, not saying a word.

"Is something wrong?" she asked him.

"You have some powdered sugar right…" he trailed off as he reached up and rubbed his thumb along the edge of her lip then licked the sugar off his finger. "Can I have a bite of yours?" He leaned over close to her bouchon to try and take a bite.

"Get your own," she said, giggling and extending her arm out away from him so he couldn't reach it.

"But I don't want my own." Rachel felt her whole body begin to hum with the way he was looking at her. She simply shook her head no in response. Before she knew it, he grabbed her and tackled her onto the blanket making her laugh even harder as he reached for her arm and brought the bouchon to his lips, taking a bite out of it. "Mm, that is good," he told her, an impish grin on his face.

"Now you've got powdered sugar right there," she teased, a twinkle in her eye as she pointed to a spot just above his lip.

"Wanna lick it off?" he asked suggestively.

She leaned up and was scant inches from his lips when she playfully shoved him off of her causing them both to laugh. As she ate what was left of her dessert, she said, "You realize, you owe me a bite of yours now when you decide to eat it." Rachel watched him take it out of the bag and take a large bite out of it.

"You can have this last bite," he said, causing Rachel to lean over and try to take it from his hand. Jesse pulled his hand away so she couldn't quite reach it. "But there's a condition."

"And what would that condition be?" she asked.

"I get to feed it to you."

She rolled her eyes at him, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Are you serious?"

"Completely."

She shrugged her agreement as she moved closer to him on the blanket. Locking her eyes on his, she opened her mouth as he brought the pastry to her lips and slowly slid it into her mouth. She felt his fingers brush her lips and darted her tongue out to lick them before he pulled his hand away. Closing her eyes, she savored the last bite, moaning slightly as she lay back on the blanket.

"You're evil," Jesse whispered in her ear before lying down next to her.

Eyes still closed, she felt his hand next to hers and laced her fingers through his. "I know," she told him, a smile spreading across her lips. They lay in silence for a moment before Rachel said, "I want us to spend the night together again. I want one night with you where I don't have to say good-bye to you and lie awake thinking about Isla lying next to you."

Jesse certainly didn't need convincing. "Okay," he agreed easily. "We don't have a show on Monday so how about we check-in to a hotel Sunday night and spend two nights there?"

"I'll just tell Donovan that Kurt and I are going to take a little trip together. What are you going to tell Isla?"

"I'll figure something out." It was going to be a lot trickier than the last few weeks had been. A few hours here and there were easily explained away, but a whole night was another story entirely. His wife had actually kept good on her promise to make him and their marriage a priority. Most nights she waited up for him to get home so they could spend time together, but she never asked questions when he was a little late. He wondered if spending the night somewhere else might raise any red flags for her.

Putting it out of his mind, he and Rachel began discussing their upcoming night together. And that was how they spent the rest of the afternoon: talking, soaking up the early fall sun, bodies touching ever so slightly, fingers linked together.

* * *

When Jesse got home later that night, the living room was empty but he noticed the soft light coming from the bedroom. Walking into the bedroom, he found his wife obviously haven fallen asleep while reading a book which was now resting haphazardly on her chest, her reading glasses still on. He smiled fondly and walked over to her side of the bed and gently picked up the book, placing the bookmark inside of it before setting it on the nightstand next to her side of the bed. Gingerly, he reached up and removed her glasses, unsuccessfully attempting not to wake her.

"You're home," she stated the obvious, sleepily.

"Yeah, sorry I'm late," he told her, walking around to his side of the bed and kicking off his shoes.

"How was the show?" She sat up and stretched slightly before turning her body to face his side of the bed.

"Great. Standing ovations never get old," Jesse beamed. He could feel her eyes on him as she watched him undress. "How was your day?" he asked as he slipped under the covers and turned off the lamp on his nightstand.

"Busy, but good." She turned off her own light and scooted closer to him on the bed. "It just got better, though." Jesse felt the weight of her hand on his chest in the darkness, her fingers scratching back and forth lightly on his t-shirt. He lay stock still for a moment, trying not to tense up too much at the way she was touching him. The next thing he knew her lips were on his neck, her tongue darting out to taste his skin. "Jesse," she murmured as she hooked her leg over his.

His body betrayed him, reacting to the contact as she rubbed herself against him. Her lips found his and, for the first time since Rachel had entered his life again, he kissed Isla back.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I just couldn't resist a bit of a cliffhanger. Don't hate me too much. :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: **Thanks to **padfootsprincess02**, **northstar61** and **calhoun91** for being my sounding boards on this chapter. All of your feedback/thoughts really helped me with this one.

* * *

Isla moaned as Jesse slipped his tongue in her mouth, exploring the familiar contours, her tongue caressing his as she pressed closer to him. His hand wandered down her side and came to rest on her hip, kneading the flesh that was exposed. Jesse's heart screamed that this was a betrayal to Rachel, but as Isla moved to straddle him, all coherent thought seemingly went out the window and his body had a mind of its own.

He bucked up into her slightly as he felt her center rub against the hardening erection in his boxers. Her lips leaving his as she pushed his shirt up his chest and began kissing a trail slowly up as she pushed it higher before removing it all the way. When she reached for the waistband of his boxers to begin to pull them off, his hands shot out and stopped her progress. "Is…" he whispered.

They just stared at one another for a moment, both of them panting in the darkness of the bedroom, not saying a word. Finally, she broke the silence as she moved her hips slightly causing her to whimper with desire. Jesse closed his eyes at the pleasant friction the movement caused letting out a low moan of his own. She pulled one of his hands to her body and placed his palm on her breast, the thin material of her nightgown the only thing between their flesh. "Feel me," she said quietly, desperation evident in her voice as she guided his hand down her body. "I _need_ you to feel me, Jesse." Her breathing became shallow as she moved his hand under her baby doll nightgown and into her panties.

Her body trembled above him as his fingers just barely grazed her. "Touch me," she begged, increasing the pressure on his hand that she still had a hold of, effectively pushing one of his fingers into her. "_Please_." Jesse did as she asked, making her writhe against his hand.

Their lips crashed together as Jesse removed his hand from her panties and pushed them down as far as he could from the position he was in. She tugged at his boxers, pulling them off completely before she leaned over to the nightstand and reached into the drawer to grab a condom. "Just to be safe," Isla told him, breathless, as she ripped the wrapper open using her teeth and slid the condom over him, stroking him a few times before she hovered above and sank down onto him.

Suddenly everything became a blur of lips and tongues and hands and groans as Jesse closed his eyes and let his body take over.

* * *

Jesse lay wide awake while his wife slept peacefully next to him, her arm and leg draped possessively over him. He couldn't believe what he had just done. All he could think about what was this was going to do to Rachel and their relationship.

Maybe she would understand. After all, she slept beside Donovan night after night. Surely, they had been intimate in some way over the last few weeks. Perhaps Rachel hadn't wanted to tell him that something had happened because she didn't want to hurt him.

Jesse knew he was reaching though because that wasn't Rachel. She wouldn't keep something like that from him. She had been very open about her relationship with Donovan. He didn't need her to reaffirm to him that nothing physical had happened between them in awhile because she would have already told him if it had.

She was going to hate him. She was going to question the feelings that he had for her and wonder if they were real or if it really was just his unhappiness with Isla that made him believe that he was in love with Rachel. He knew that he loved her but would she know that?

Did she love him?

Every time they were together he felt like he knew the answer to that question by the way she touched him or looked at him, but he had told her over and over again that he loved her and not once had she said those words back. Was she scared to tell him because of the very thing that he had done with Isla just hours before? Did she think he would break her heart again?

How was he going to tell Rachel about this?

He felt trapped all a sudden and knew that he needed to get out of the bed. He slowly lifted the covers and slipped out of Isla's grasp, managing not to wake her. Not knowing what else to do, he walked into the kitchen and filled a glass with water, gulping it down. Looking around the open living area of his apartment he tried to think of something he could do that might help him get some sleep and stop his mind from racing. Finally, his eyes fell on the spare bathroom that was down the hall from their bedroom near the small study.

Walking over to the bedroom door, he shut it quietly before walking over and going into the bathroom then closed the door behind him as well. He hoped that the sound of the water running wouldn't wake his still sleeping wife as he turned the knob. Jesse just stood under the spray of the hot water as it beat down on him, his hands supporting his weight as he leaned towards the shower wall.

Finally, he grabbed the soap and scrubbed every inch of his body as though he could wash away the guilt that he felt.

When he walked back into the bedroom, he saw that Isla had rolled over and was now facing in the other direction. He grabbed a pair of clean boxers from a drawer and slipped under the covers as quietly as he could, his back to his wife on the other side of the bed. Closing his eyes, sleep finally overtook him.

* * *

Jesse awoke the next morning to the smell of eggs being cooked wafting in from the kitchen. He glanced over to his nightstand to look at his alarm clock and noticed that it was 8 o'clock. He'd only managed to get a few hours of sleep. He considered going back to sleep, but when he closed his eyes he realized that it just wasn't going to happen. Getting out of bed, Jesse grabbed his t-shirt off the floor and opened the bedroom door to see Isla standing in front of the stove, dressed and ready for work.

She turned her head and smiled at him as he walked into the kitchen. Leaving the eggs to cook a bit, she came over to Jesse and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Good morning," she said with a smile before she placed a lingering kiss on his lips. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, letting go of him and walking back to the stove.

"Yeah, I did," Jesse lied, giving her a small smile.

Turning off the stove, she took the pan off of the burner and dished the scrambled eggs onto two plates for her and Jesse, along with some toast. She placed the two plates on the counter before walking back over to him. "Last night was…" she started, running her hand back and forth on his chest before kissing him again. "Amazing."

Pulling back, she made her way over to the counter and sat down on her bar stool before she looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to join her.

Walking over and sitting down beside her, they ate in silence for a moment, Jesse wondering if now was a good time to tell Isla that he was going out of town for a couple of days. Swallowing the bite of eggs he'd just put in his mouth, he figured that this moment was as good as any to bring it up.

"So Thomas and some of the guys all wanted to head down to Atlantic City after the show on Sunday and stay down there for a couple of nights," Jesse lied easily, taking another bite of his eggs and looking at her evenly.

"Guys weekend?" Isla asked, not a note of suspicion coloring her voice. In fact, she turned and smiled at him knowingly. "Maybe I could get some girls together and we could do a spa day or something in the city while you're gone."

"Yeah, you should," Jesse agreed with a nod. He exhaled lightly, releasing the breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding. As he listened to Isla talk about who she might invite to her spa day and where they might go, he started thinking of the perfect place that he wanted to take Rachel. Then it hit him, he knew exactly where they could go and not have to worry about who saw them together. A place where they could be just Jesse and Rachel, a young couple on a romantic getaway.

* * *

As soon as their matinee show was over with that following Sunday, Jesse and Rachel each hopped in a different cab bound for the same destination. Jesse was the first to arrive at the rental car center and the car that he had rented was ready and waiting for him by the time Rachel arrived. As she got out of the cab, she saw Jesse leaning comfortably against the side of the convertible sports car, an easy smile in place. He looked like something straight out of a movie scene.

Her first instinct was to rush over to him and press him against the car as she kissed his lips, but they were still trying to be as discreet as possible even though there had been nothing about their affair in the Post since the blind item weeks ago. They didn't want to take any chances though. Not in the city anyway. As she approached the car, Jesse walked over to her and grabbed her bag out of her hand so he could put it in the trunk. "Hi, gorgeous," he told her softly.

Walking over to the passenger side of the car, Rachel reached for the door handle to open it but stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Jesse yell from the rear of the car. "Don't even think about it, Rach!" So she stood next to the door waiting patiently for him to walk to her side of the car and open her door for her.

"Such a gentleman," she teased with a wink, as he opened her door and she got into the car. She beamed up at him as he shut the door for her. She couldn't resist trying to find out where they were going the moment he got in the car. "So are you going to tell me now where it is that we'll be for the next two nights?"

He debated for a moment if he should keep her in the dark about their little getaway or not before he finally said, "Montauk."

"Ooh, I love the Hamptons," Rachel squealed excitedly. As much as she loved the city, it was nice to get away sometimes from the hustle and bustle of every day life.

"I'm not telling you the exact place we're going because I know you and you'll get on your phone and start doing all sorts of research." He leaned over towards her seat so their faces were inches apart. "I just want you to relax and enjoy the drive out there," he whispered before placing a quick kiss on her lips.

"Can we put the top down?" Rachel asked. It was unseasonably warm for early October and they still had a couple hours until sunset.

Without a word, Jesse hit the button and the top lifted off the front windshield, leaving them open to the sky above. Putting his sunglasses on, he looked over at Rachel with a wide grin as he put the car in 'Drive' and they were on their way.

A little while later, as they were driving down the highway, Rachel turned to watch the sun that was now low in the sky, enjoying the beautiful day. She felt Jesse's warm hand on her upper thigh, causing her to turn her head and smile at him. He flipped his hand over, palm up on her leg and she laced her fingers through his. She didn't think she'd ever seen a more beautiful sight than the way he looked at the moment with the wind whipping his perfect curls around. Unable to resist any longer, she leaned over and kissed him softly.

Giving his hand a little squeeze, she turned her gaze back towards the dwindling light from the setting sun, her body humming with anticipation of the nights to come.

* * *

Rachel excitedly ran up the path to their little secluded beach cottage after they'd checked in at the front desk of the resort, causing Jesse to laugh as he continued to walk behind her. "Hurry up!" she yelled from the front porch as she stood by the front door.

He jogged up the rest of the path with their bags in his hands and dropped them on the porch as he stopped in front of her. Without warning, his body connected with hers as he buried one hand in her hair and the other wrapped around her waist preventing her from stumbling backwards as he claimed her lips in a hungry, deep kiss. It nearly made Rachel go weak in the knees with the intensity. "I've wanted to do that since we picked up the car," he confessed as they pulled apart.

"Well, for the next two days you can do it all you want," she whispered, grabbing his shirt and pulling him back to her as their mouths found one another again. A soft sigh escaped Rachel's lips as she felt Jesse's hands snake around her to grab her ass and gently squeeze.

"I think we should go inside."

Jesse's husky voice cut through her lust-filled haze for a moment. Rachel nodded her agreement as Jesse unlocked the door before grabbing their bags and opening the door for her. "I love it," Rachel breathed out as she looked around the living room, kitchen and then towards the bedroom that sat just off of it. Jesse followed her into the bedroom where she turned the light on to see the room better. "The window," she gasped, noticing the huge bay window that faced the ocean.

"It's why I booked this place. I wanted to wake up in the morning, just lay in bed with you listening to the sounds of the waves and look out at the ocean," he explained.

Jesse had spent what felt like hours researching places to find the perfect spot for them. There had been some hotels that looked gorgeous but he had decided that he wanted them to have their own space. His search for the perfect beach cottage had proved a difficult one. Most of the rentals hadn't even been on the beach, but then by some miracle he had stumbled across this place. He'd fallen in love with it immediately and now that he was actually standing inside his perfect little beach cottage, he knew that he'd made the right choice.

"God, that sounds like heaven." Rachel wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest as they both stood there in quiet contentment, listening to the waves crashing on the beach just outside the bedroom of the cottage.

The quiet was broken by Rachel's stomach growling. Leaning back she looked at him with a child-like grin on her face. "You wouldn't be hungry, would you," he teased, a twinkle in his eyes. She nodded up at him. "How about we go into town and find some place to eat dinner?" Jesse asked, placing a feather-light kiss on her forehead.

"I was thinking we could order in," she replied, a suggestive tone in her voice.

"You have the best ideas," he told her, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

* * *

An hour later, they both sat on the floor of the living room of the cottage just talking with a nearly empty box of cheese pizza open on the coffee table in front of them, absolutely stuffed from all of the food they had just eaten.

"When you think about life forty years from now, what scares you the most?" Jesse suddenly asked. Rachel looked at him a little puzzled by the sudden and serious change of topic. Jesse shrugged his shoulders in response. "I'm curious."

They sat in silence for a moment as Rachel was unsure of what to say. How honest should she be?

"I can tell you what scares me," Jesse offered, cutting into Rachel's thoughts. She looked at him expectantly waiting to see what he was going to say. "That I'll have a relationship with my children like I have with my parents. Non-existent. I worry that one day I'll make all the same mistakes that they made and my children will resent me and I'll be sitting in a nursing home and no one will visit me."

"Jesse…" She scooted closer to him on the floor before brushing her hand across his forehead. "Why would you think that?"

"Because some of us are doomed to repeat history." He looked up at her, his eyes shining with unshed tears. She'd had no idea that this was something that he truly worried about. Something that actually scared him. "I haven't had the best examples of how to parent, Rach."

"_You_ will be nothing like them. You are a kind and loving man who will make such a wonderful father one day." She cupped his face in her hands so that he couldn't look away. "You aren't doomed to repeat their same mistakes, you've learned from their mistakes and you will do everything in your power to make sure that you are the kind of parent that they couldn't be."

"But I can be just as selfish and self-centered as they've always been. I don't want to be that kind of parent, but what if it's who I am."

"It's not who you are. _This_ conversation right now just proves that you'll never be like that. Do you know why?"

He shook his head no in response.

"Because it shows that you care enough to want to be different than your parents and that you _won't_ be anything like them. Your children are going to love you. If you have a girl, she's going to think you walk on water and are the most perfect man ever and she'll think that no man will ever be able to live up to her daddy. If you have a boy, he's going to love you because you'll support him in whatever he does whether it's playing sports or music or just simply being a bookworm. He'll be proud that you're his dad. He'll be proud to be a St. James because of _you_. Your children will love you completely." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to try and stop the tears that had started to pool in her eyes during her speech to Jesse. "How could they not love you?"

Jesse reached up and wiped away a tear that had fallen with the pad of his thumb. She looked at him with a sheepish smile on her face. He smiled at her, a wordless thanks for all of the wonderful things she had just said about him.

"Regrets," she stated. "That's my fear. That I'll regret the things that I did or didn't do with my life because I was too scared."

Now it was his turn to try and assuage her fears. "Rach, you are the strongest person I know. You're fearless. You don't let anything stand in the way of something you want. You knew that you wanted to win a National championship at McKinley with New Directions and you did. You put off your Broadway dreams for four years to go to a college that you really loved because it was what you wanted. You knew you wanted to be a Broadway star and now you are one." He knew this was going to sound a little arrogant, but it was how he felt. "You're here with me."

She looked up at him and nodded slightly. "I am."

"Just keep following your heart and you'll never be wrong," he told her before placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

Looking into his eyes, Rachel felt closer to Jesse in that moment than she ever had which was saying something. "I love you." She said the words softly but with so much conviction that there could be no doubt that she meant those three words with every fiber of her being. She watched as a huge grin spread across Jesse's face as her words sunk in.

She loved him. He didn't fully realize how much he had needed her to say those words and what hearing her finally say aloud that she reciprocated his feelings for her would feel like until that moment.

Rachel scooted as close to him as she could without sitting in his lap, draping her legs across both of his outstretched ones. "I love you, Jesse," she said again.

"God, I love hearing you say that," he told her, running his hand up her arm and across her collarbone coming to rest on the side of her neck, the pad of his thumb caressing her cheek. "I love you too." Then he closed the space between them, kissing her lips softly a couple of times before his mouth covered hers and their tongues tangled in a passionate kiss.

Rachel pulled Jesse down on top of her as she slowly lay back on the floor behind her. She moaned softly as their tongues continued their dance and the hand that had found its way under her shirt fondled her breast gently. As he reached inside her bra and rubbed her taut peak in between is thumb and forefinger, she arched up into his skilled hands.

"How about we try out that bed," he asked huskily against the skin of her neck, stopping what his hands were doing to her breasts. As he pulled back and stood up, he grabbed Rachel's hands to pull her up with him before shutting off the living room light and leading her to the bedroom.

Standing at the end of the bed in the moonlit bedroom, they just stared at one another for a moment before Rachel reached for the hem of Jesse's t-shirt and pulled it off of him. She ran her hands up his toned chest, her lips following in their wake in silent worship until she placed a sweet kiss just above his heart. When she finally looked up at him, Jesse felt his heart skip a beat by the amount of love and devotion he saw in her eyes.

Needing her to be just as naked as he currently was, Jesse pulled Rachel's shirt over her head, unceremoniously discarding it as he made short work of her bra. Rachel laced her fingers through his hair as his mouth latched on to her breast and he grazed her hardened nipple with his teeth playfully before his tongue swirled around it languidly.

His hands moved down to her waist and his fingers felt blindly for the buttons of her jeans. Rachel stepped out of her jeans as his mouth left her breast and he pushed them, along with her panties, down her legs. Reaching for the buttons of his own jeans, Jesse started to undo them before Rachel's hands stopped him. She locked her gaze on his as she undid the buttons and knelt down to slide the jeans down his legs.

Looking up at Jesse through her lashes from her position on the floor, she reached for the waistband of his boxers and let her hands graze over his ass as she pulled them down. She pushed him backwards so that he flopped down on the bed and positioned herself between his legs. Jesse leaned up on his elbow to watch her as she reached out and stroked his extremely erect and hardened shaft.

The smile that played on Rachel's lips as she leaned forward was one of the sexiest things Jesse had ever seen. She placed a soft kiss on the tip of him before her lips closed around him and he felt the warm wetness of her tongue and mouth, causing him to throw his head back and let out a loud groan. His fingers threaded through her hair lightly as her head bobbed up and down doing wonderful things to him with her mouth. It took every ounce of control in him not to come undone quickly at the feel of her swirling and licking him with her tongue and squeezing him ever so slightly with the hand that still gripped him.

Looking up, her eyes locked with his as he managed to open his own eyes and watch what she was currently doing to him. "Come here," Jesse rasped out, wanting to be buried deep inside of her. Doing as he asked, Rachel released him and crawled onto the bed with him.

Flipping them over so she was pinned underneath him, Jesse bent his head down and captured her lips in a demanding kiss. "I love you," she told him for the third time that night as they broke apart and Jesse positioned himself at her entrance.

She brushed back some of his curls that had fallen on his forehead and leaned up kissing his lips fervently. Her tongue explored his mouth as he pushed into her deeply, causing her to gasp into his mouth. The feel of her was almost too much for him at first, but he managed to control of himself so he could make their coupling last as long as possible. Her grip on him tightened as their tongues matched the feverish and rapid movements of their bodies.

Jesse rested his forehead lightly against Rachel's as he finally broke off their kiss, both of them panting roughly as they thrust against each other over and over, so close to release. His head fell to the crook of her neck as he thrust in and out of her, changing his angle ever so slightly and feeling the effect that it was having on her. It wasn't long before a cry of pleasure escaped her lips which only caused Jesse to hasten his movements and pound against Rachel. The feel of her release was too much for him and soon he was letting out a cry of his own as he joined her in ecstasy.

* * *

For the second time in the last week, Jesse lay wide awake in bed with his thoughts consuming him. Just like his last sleepless night, his thoughts were about Rachel and how he was going to tell her about what happened with Isla. Especially now that she had finally told him that she loved him.

She had finally trusted him enough and trusted in them enough to allow herself to admit out loud just how deep her feelings were for him. Would she hate him for his betrayal?

Or worse, would she question her feelings for him? Would she regret having told him that she loved him?

Unlike the other night with Isla, he didn't want to escape from Rachel's embrace. Being wrapped in her arms didn't make him feel like he was suffocating. It comforted him. It felt right.

He looked down at the beautiful woman sleeping peacefully in his arms and his heart ached at the thought of her breaking things off because he had hurt her. He wrapped his arms a little more tightly around her as he thought about the possibility of them not being together once he told her the truth.

Jesse resolved to tell Rachel everything the next day. He wasn't sure when or how he was going to do it, but she had to know. He didn't want to keep anything from her.

"I love you," he whispered. Placing a ghost of a kiss on her forehead, he lay his head on the pillow next to hers and closed his eyes, letting the sounds of her soft snores lull him to sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I hope you guys don't hate me too much for the beginning. I thought about it quite a bit, but I decided that I didn't want to just gloss over Jesse and Isla having sex. It was always going to happen and now it finally has happened. I thought this was also a good time for Rachel to finally tell Jesse that she loves him. He needed to hear it. I thought I might try to make up for the beginning by St. Berry having a little sexy time too. ;) Reviews keep my creative juices flowing so please review and let me know what you guys thought.


	17. Chapter 17

Just as Jesse had said the night before, when they awoke the next morning, they lay in the bed intertwined with their heads propped up on some pillows as they listened to and watched the waves crash on the sand just outside their little cottage. They relished the feeling of being able to spend a lazy Monday morning lying in bed together, doing absolutely nothing. It was so tranquil that they even dozed off again for a little bit.

When they awoke again, they realized what time it was and knew that if they didn't get out of bed that they would miss breakfast. So they threw on some clothes, headed out of the cottage and down the path to the main building hand-in-hand to have breakfast.

As they walked inside, Rachel smiled when she saw that the room was sparsely populated. She loved the fact that it was off-season because it made her feel like she had run of the place and they could do anything they wanted. Sitting down to peruse their menus, she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips, knowing that nobody else in the restaurant was paying them any attention. It was so liberating to be able to do something like that here.

After they had ordered and the waiter had brought their coffee and food, they sat and ate in comfortable silence for a moment in their little corner of the restaurant. "So what do you want today?" Jesse finally asked Rachel over the rim of his coffee cup before taking a sip of the steaming hot liquid.

"Maybe go into town and go shopping for a little while? We could eat lunch and then spend the rest of the afternoon on the beach." She leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Or we could just spend the entire day naked and have mad, passionate sex on every surface in the cottage." Rachel ran her hand up his thigh and lightly rubbed his hardening groin for emphasis.

Jesse did his best to keep his voice and facial expressions neutral as she continued to rub him, waiting for him to respond. "I know I'm going to regret this, but we should go into town." She pulled her hand away with a smirk. "I plan on us getting naked later and spending the entire night that way," he whispered into her ear, brushing his lips across her neck, which sent shivers of anticipation down Rachel's spine, before he went back to eating his breakfast.

After they had finished breakfast, they hopped in the car, put the top down and headed towards town. Leaning her head back against the seat, Rachel closed her eyes and let the sun shine on her face. They couldn't have asked for better weather than this. She felt Jesse lift her hand to his lips and kiss it softly which brought a smile to her face as she continued to bask in the sun. Before Rachel knew it, Jesse was parking the car on the side of the street and they were getting out so they could walk around.

Rachel snuggled into Jesse's side as he threaded his fingers through hers while they were walking down the street. The anonymity that being in a place like this afforded the two of them was wonderful. She thought about the night before when they had checked into the resort and the front-desk clerk had called them Mr. and Mrs. St. James. Hearing someone call her Mrs. St. James had made Rachel much happier than she had ever imagined it would, even if it wasn't true. Even though there was already a Mrs. St. James and it certainly wasn't Rachel.

Well, at least not at that moment in time. One day though… She shook her head, trying to rid those thoughts from her mind for the time being.

As they continued to walk down the street, they neared an antique store and Jesse squeezed Rachel's hand gently. "Let's go inside," he told her softly before tugging her towards the front door. The store had just opened thirty minutes before and only had a couple of people milling about inside. Rachel watched Jesse as he touched some of the furniture delicately.

"I never would've pegged you as an antique kind of guy," she teased, giving him a playful shove.

"What can I say? I'm eclectic," he replied with a wink as he let go of her hand and walked towards an old bookcase on the wall.

"Except in your fashion choices." She looked pointedly at the black button-up he was currently wearing, raising her eyebrows in amusement.

"Hey, I branch out from my staple black quite often, thank you," he said in mock offense. "Alright, well, maybe not today."

Walking over to him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him, wanting him to kiss her so badly. "I'm not judging. I happen to think you look very sexy in black." Her little comment got Rachel exactly what she wanted as Jesse reached up to cradle her face in his hands, kissing her softly. "Although, I really prefer you in nothing at all," she added quietly just before she let go him and began perusing the area next to her.

Jesse just chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he turned to look at some of the books on the shelf. He ran his fingers along the spine of some of them, reading the titles. He came across a leather bound _Pride and Prejudice_ and picked it up off of the shelf. Opening it up, he looked at the loopy script on the inside, from what he assumed was probably the original owner of the book, and smiled at the words.

There was a drawing of a rose and the inscription simply read: _I will love you until the end of time_. He loved that it wasn't personalized in any way. It was just a simple declaration of love. A timeless declaration of love even with the fading ink and the yellowing of the pages of the book. He looked over at Rachel who was looking at some china in a display case and felt a powerful wave of contentment wash over him.

Noting that Rachel was completely engrossed by all of the history surrounding her, he walked up to the checkout counter to purchase the book. Jesse smiled at the clerk as he paid for the book and the man handed him the small bag that now contained his little gift for Rachel, then he looked over to find that she was no longer in the spot that he had last seen her in.

Jesse walked around the store searching for Rachel until he found her in a back corner looking at a small silver brush and mirror set that had probably belonged to a little girl. "It's beautiful," he said, startling her slightly.

"It is," she agreed, brushing her fingers across it. She turned around and smiled at him, noticing the bag in his hand. "What'd you get?"

"Just a book," he replied nonchalantly. "Are you ready to go?" Nodding, her small hand found his larger one as they walked towards the front of the store.

Once outside, Jesse watched as Rachel's eyes widened as she noticed the store across the street for the first time. "You know that I'm going to have to go in there," she told him, giving a little tug on his hand as she stepped down on the curb to the street.

After crossing the fairly deserted street, Rachel closed her eyes and breathed in deeply as they stepped onto the sidewalk in front of the store. He knew that Rachel didn't indulge in things like candy and sweets very often, but he was sure that today she would make an exception.

The clerk greeted them as they opened the door and stepped inside. Rachel immediately led them over to the glass counter in front of the clerk that was full of all different flavors of fudge. Jesse watched her out of the corner of his eye as she listened intently to the clerk tell them about some of the seasonal flavors like pumpkin and vanilla pumpkin.

Of course, she had to try a few different kinds before making her final decision, so each one she took a bite of, she would leave the other half for Jesse to taste. Jesse saw the older woman behind the counter smiling at them knowingly as Rachel would pop each piece of fudge in Jesse's mouth and then beam up at him.

"Which one?" she asked.

"I like them all," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh, you are no help," she rolled her eyes at him playfully before turning her attention back to the display again. "I think I'm going to stick with my favorite: peanut butter." The older woman nodded and began to cut a chunk of fudge for them.

Jesse wandered over to the front of the store where it seemed all of the seasonal candy was. He felt Rachel come up beside him and look at what was on the shelves in front of him. Her eyes fell on something that she obviously had to have because she snatched the small bag of pumpkin-flavored yogurt covered pretzels off the shelf quickly and took them over to the counter to purchase them along with the fudge.

Following Rachel back to the counter, Jesse reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet to pay for the items. "What do you think you're doing?" Rachel asked, grabbing his arm and holding it to prevent him from taking his wallet out.

"I'm paying."

"No, you're not," she told him, emphatically before handing some cash to the clerk. Noticing the look on his face she said, "You can get lunch if you really want to." Then leaning up on her toes she gave him a quick kiss.

Once again, Jesse saw the older woman behind the counter look at them with a small knowing smile. He saw the wedding band on her finger and wondered if they reminded the woman of her and her husband at their age. Jesse returned the woman's smile as Rachel thanked her and grabbed her bag of candy off the counter and headed for the door.

For the rest of the morning, they walked from shop to shop just browsing through the various items before they found a pub off of the Plaza that both of them agreed on. The atmosphere reminded them both of the night when it all really began between them.

Rachel was sure they looked like one of those couples that usually annoyed her when she was out at a restaurant. They sat on the same side of the booth with their heads bent together as they talked quietly, in their own little world. She was sure if she could have seen herself that she would have been rolling her eyes at her and Jesse, but she was happy. Blissfully so.

"So what did you get when we were at the antique shop?" she asked.

"It was something for you actually," he replied, grabbing the bag from the bench beside him and pulling the book out.

Taking the book that he handed her, she felt the leather on the cover and read the book title. "My favorite." Jesse knew he had made the right decision in buying that book by the way she looked up at him before she opened the front cover of the book. A smile spread across Rachel's face as she ran her fingers over the inscription and the rose that was drawn just below it.

"I loved the inscription."

"It's perfect," she breathed out, craning her neck up to kiss him. "I love you." She just couldn't stop saying the words. She had been in love before, but never like she was with Jesse.

* * *

Rachel and Jesse lay on a blanket on the secluded beach just in front of their cottage; the only people that they could see were specks in the distance down the beach. The nice, cool breeze blowing in from the ocean kept them from lying in the sun in just their bathing suits, but just in case they decided to jump into the chilly water Jesse had changed into his board shorts and put on a t-shirt while Rachel had slipped into her bikini and put her shirt and linen pants from earlier back on.

Jesse had his eyes closed as he listened to Rachel read from the book that he had bought her at the antique store. Her head lay on his chest, and he ran his fingers through her hair soothingly as she continued to read from her favorite part of _Pride and Prejudice_. She had explained to him how Elizabeth Bennett's tour of the palatial Pemberley and unexpected run-in with Mr. Darcy was her favorite part of the book, the part that gave her butterflies when she was reading because she knew it was the moment that everything changed.

After finishing the chapter, Rachel set the book down beside her and flipped over on her stomach. Jesse opened his eyes behind his sunglasses as she leaned over him, casting his face in shadow. "Why'd you stop reading?" he asked.

"Because…" she started before she lowered her lips onto his.

He smiled against her lips. "Oh, I like that reason." Before he had a chance to kiss her again she pulled away and sat up on her heels. "Where do you think you're going?" He reached for her but she stood up quickly, laughing.

"Let's go for a walk."

"But I wanted to make good use of this blanket." He raised his sunglasses and looked at her with a suggestive quirk of his eyebrow. She just stood there smiling down at him. "Alright," he conceded with a sigh and stood up, joining her on the sand.

Linking their fingers together, Rachel led Jesse down to the water and they began walking away from the resort along a stretch of beach that didn't have much on it, people or buildings. "This just makes me want to take a real vacation," Rachel said as they walked along the beach hand-in-hand.

"Oh yeah? Where would you want to go?" he asked.

"I've always heard that Turkey is beautiful, so maybe some resort town there. Or maybe one of the Greek Islands."

"I went to Mykinos with some friends when I was in college, you know."

"How was it?" Rachel asked, wanting to know every detail.

"What I can remember? It was pretty awesome."

"What you can _remember_? Did you guys party the entire time you were there?" She bumped him with her hip playfully as they continued walking down the beach.

"The bars and clubs are open until the sun comes up so we basically drank around the clock," Jesse remembered. "It was fun."

"I bet the girls just loved you."

"Well, I mean, it is _me_ we're talking about," he teased. "I might've met a few girls on that trip."

"And I bet you don't remember a single one of their names," she laughed.

Jesse thought hard about it for a moment. He thought that he might at least remember one girl, but their names and faces failed him. "I've got nothing. Although, I think one of them called me Apollo because one of my friends teased me about it mercilessly for weeks when we got back to New York."

"Apollo? As in the Sun god?" Jesse nodded in response, and Rachel laughed. "I can see it now. You with your sun-kissed curls and chiseled physique just like a statue of Apollo."

"I'm thinking it was more because I _fuck_ like a god," he said in her ear, before letting go of her hand and walking backwards in front of her, a smirk firmly in place.

Her mouth hung open slightly at the words that he'd uttered in her ear as he continued to walk in front of her. Then a mischievous grin slid across her face as she stopped walking. "That was obviously a long time ago," she quipped before taking off in the other direction back towards their blanket. Rachel's feet splashed in the water as she sprinted down the beach, laughing.

"You better run!" Jesse yelled after her, casually walking in the direction she was currently running.

Rachel stopped at the distant sound of his voice and turned around to see that he was just casually strolling along the beach. Then he started running towards her and she was off again. She was nearly back to their blanket when he caught up with her, wrapping his arms around her waist and spinning her around which made Rachel squeal with delight.

He had just set her down in the ankle deep water when she kicked her leg, splashing him. "You wanna get wet, huh?" he asked, chasing her a little further into the water, the bottom part of her linen pants thoroughly soaked. Wrapping his arms around her waist again, he picked her up and walked further into the water.

"Jesse don't you dare throw me in!" she yelled as he swung her back and forth like he was about to toss her into the water.

"But you have your bathing suit on," he teased, continuing to swing her and letting his hold on her slip a little.

"Jesse!" came her high-pitch shriek. Figuring he had tortured her enough, he walked closer to the edge of the water and set her down in the ankle deep ocean again. "Jerk!" she yelled, smacking him on the arm.

He put his hands up in defense as she hit him again. "Hey, you started it," he chuckled, watching her stalk up the beach back towards the blanket. Jogging up behind her, he once again wrapped his arms around her, her back coming in contact with his solid chest. "You're so hot when you're mad," he said in her ear as she craned her neck to the side, his lips brushing against it ever so slightly.

One hand rested on her stomach while the other that was draped over her shoulder moved its way towards her breast, squeezing it gently as he kissed and licked her neck in the spot just below her jawbone that she loved so much. They made their way over to the edge of the blanket before Jesse turned Rachel around to face him.

Their lips fused together as he slowly lowered them down on the blanket so that she was partially under him, his leg in between both of hers. Getting lost in each other, Rachel wrapped one of her legs around Jesse's hip in an effort to get as close to him as possible.

She felt Jesse's hand firm against her breast again before he slid it slowly down her side, coming to rest on her hip. He brushed the back of his fingers back and forth across the sliver of smooth skin that had become visible during their make out session on the beach.

The tips of his fingers moved towards the center of her abdomen as his touch gave her goose bumps. He moved his fingers just a little bit lower to beneath the loose waist of her linen pants. "Jesse…" she warned, feeling his fingers just barely brush the waistband of her bikini bottoms.

His only response was a wicked grin.

"Someone could see," she admonished, glancing around the beach.

He looked in both directions on the beach and didn't see anyone in the distance walking their way or anybody even nearby to them. "No one's going to see," he whispered against her lips, before his tongue found its way into her mouth again as Rachel silently and all-too-willingly gave in to him.

She wondered when she had turned into such an exhibitionist as she felt Jesse's fingers slowly travel into her bikini bottoms. All coherent thought left her though as his fingers pushed inside of her.

* * *

A few hours later, Jesse and Rachel arrived at the restaurant where they had dinner reservations and were escorted to a table with a spectacular view of the setting sun and the water. It made Rachel wish she had a camera so they could have their picture taken in this beautiful spot. A frown crossed her features as she thought about why they didn't have a camera and weren't taking any pictures.

Jesse ordered their drinks and noticed that Rachel seemed to be deep in thought about something. Judging by the look on her face, they weren't happy thoughts. "What's wrong?" he asked, reaching across the table and breaking her out of her reverie.

She smiled at him and shook her head. "Nothing's wrong," she lied.

"Rach," he pushed, but again she shook her head.

"I love this place," Rachel said, changing the subject. "Did you also do extensive research to find this restaurant as well?" she teased.

Jesse decided to give in to her unspoken request and let the subject of what was bother her drop. "Actually, Thomas recommended it to me. He thought you might like it."

"So Thomas knows we're here?" She knew that Thomas was aware of her and Jesse's relationship but she didn't know how aware until just now.

Jesse took her hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly. "Of course he does, I'm supposed to be in Atlantic City with him this weekend. He sent me a text earlier to tell me he was winning big."

"He actually went to Atlantic City?" Rachel couldn't help but laugh at how typically Thomas it was for Jesse to suggest a fake weekend and then for Thomas to decide to turn it into reality. Well, for him anyways.

"I know, he's crazy," Jesse chuckled, thinking about his best friend. "He sent me another text telling me how he and the rest of the guys are going to a strip club tonight and asked if I was jealous."

"And what was your response?"

"Of course I'm jealous," he teased, smirking at Rachel. She merely rolled her eyes at him, unable to hide her smile. Jesse leaned across the table and said quietly so that only she could hear, "Although, I think he'd be jealous if he knew about the private show I'll be getting later tonight."

Rachel couldn't resist a little jibe at his confidence even if he was completely right. "You're pretty sure of yourself thinking that you're going to be getting lucky later."

"Well, you can't resist my charms so…"

"Is that so?"

He nodded his head with a cocky grin in place.

"We'll just have to see about that later, won't we?" she challenged. Rachel knew perfectly well that there was no way in hell that Jesse wouldn't see her naked before the night was through, but she couldn't resist giving him a little bit of a hard time.

Jesse just smiled at her knowingly before his eyes traveled from her face to the rest of her body that he could see above the table. "It's like you're glowing. You're stunning."

Rachel felt a blush creep across her cheeks. There weren't many things that made her blush too often with Jesse anymore, but for some reason with the way he was looking at her, her cheeks began to burn. He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing it while keeping his eyes on hers. She felt like her face could break from all of the smiling she had done over the last two days and the moment they were having was no exception.

Placing her hand back on the table, he continued to hold it in his own, rubbing his thumb over the back of it absentmindedly. "I'm happy," she told him. "The happiest I've been in a long time."

He felt his heart clench at her admission as he thought of what he still needed to tell her. They had been having so much fun all day that all thoughts of Isla and what had happened between them had been pushed to the back of his mind. Hearing Rachel say how happy she was and with the way she was looking at him had brought it all rushing back to him. "Me too."

He didn't have to fake the smile that was currently tugging at the corners of his mouth as he looked at the woman he loved. Jesse just hoped that she couldn't see the fear that was just underneath the surface at the thought of what his confession might do to them.

* * *

As they walked into the cottage, Jesse threw the keys to the rental car on the counter and walked over to the iPod dock that he'd brought with him, placing his iPod in it. He selected a playlist and turned it up just enough to where they could hear it anywhere in the cottage.

Turning around, he saw Rachel standing in the middle of the room, smiling at him. She held out her hands for him and he took them before pulling her to him and wrapping his arms around her waist as they danced to the music. Rachel closed her eyes as one of Jesse's hands left her waist and he began tracing his fingers over the outline of her face softly.

A smile graced her lips as his fingertips brushed against them and she felt his movements stop. Bringing his thumb up, he caressed her lips just before she heard him whisper, "Perfect." Then his mouth was on hers in a hungry kiss.

Rachel walked Jesse's backwards towards the bedroom, their lips glued together as the back of his legs hit the end of the bed. Pulling away, she lightly shoved him causing him to plop down on the bed. He reached for her to bring her to him, but she backed away from him.

"Uh huh," she told him, wagging her finger at him playfully.

Slowly unzipping the side of her strapless dress, she swayed her body to the beat of the music as she let her dress slink down her body. She stepped over the material that had pooled at her feet, now only clad in her stilettos and lace bra and panties.

Rachel walked over to stand directly in front of Jesse before she reached behind herself and unclasped her bra. Jesse's eyes widened slightly and a lecherous grin spread across his face as he looked at her bare breasts. He started to reach out to touch her until she smacked his hand away again as she continued to slowly dance to the music.

Turning around, she moved her backside in front of him tantalizingly. Rachel looked over her shoulder coyly before she sat down on his lap and began to grind against him. Finally, she let Jesse touch her as she moved her hips which elicited a low moan from Jesse. He grabbed her breasts and began to knead and massage them, pinching and twisting her nipples which only made her move against him a little harder and a little faster. "God, you're sexy," he said against the naked skin of her shoulder, kissing it lightly.

Keeping one hand on her breast, Jesse snaked the other down her body before slipping it inside of her panties. He smiled against her skin at how wet she was already and slipped his fingers between her slick folds distracting Rachel for a moment as she stopped her movement, relishing the feel of what his fingers were doing to her. She began to grind against him as she gripped his thighs even tighter.

"I'm the one who's supposed to be pleasuring you," she panted as she felt his fingers move a little bit deeper.

"You are," Jesse groaned.

Rachel turned to look at him at the sound of his voice only to discover that his eyes were closed. His lips were so close to hers so she moved her head slightly managing to catch Jesse by surprise as her lips met his. And then just as quickly she broke the kiss, gasping and throwing her head back on his shoulder as she felt the pressure of his thumb circling her nub.

All of a sudden he pulled his hands away and Rachel was about to protest at the loss of contact when she felt his hands on her waist. Instinctively, she knew what he wanted and complied with his unspoken request, standing up and getting rid of her underwear as she heard Jesse unzip his pants and take them off quickly. He had just finished pulling them off when Rachel turned around to see him still sitting on the edge of the bed, gloriously and completely naked now.

Placing one knee on the bed next to him, Rachel linked her fingers together behind his neck as she placed her other knee on the other side of his body. One of Jesse's hands came to rest low on her back, his fingertips grazing the top of her ass. Then he was entering her body and they began moving slowly. Their torsos glued together intimately as they kissed languidly.

* * *

Rachel noticed Jesse's furrowed brow as they lay together in the bed. "Are you okay?" she asked. "You seem upset about something." He'd been unusually quiet in the car ride back from dinner but he had seemed perfectly fine when they had got back to the cottage so she hadn't thought much of it until now.

Sitting up in the bed, the sheet bunching at his waist, he leaned back against the headboard and looked down at Rachel. "We need to talk."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the cliffhanger. I fully intended to have Jesse confess this chapter, but I just couldn't stop writing fluffy!St. Berry and the chapter just kept growing and growing. Their weekend away was only supposed to be one chapter but obviously I was a little inspired. :) Reviews are love and they also inspire me so please let me know what you guys think.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay in getting this one posted. I really wanted the conversation between Jesse and Rachel to feel right. Thanks to **northstar61** for reading the first part and giving me some great feedback. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews so far. To the reviewers, I would respond to you personally to thank you but I can't do that so... thanks. Please keep reviewing b/c it makes me extremely happy!

* * *

Sitting up in the bed, the sheet bunching at his waist, he leaned back against the headboard and looked down at Rachel. "We need to talk."

"Okay…" she replied, a little unsure. Rachel stared up at Jesse from where she lay on the bed waiting for him to tell her whatever it was that he needed to tell her.

Jesse felt himself start to panic slightly. "You know I love you, right?" Jesse asked, turning his body to face her.

"Jesse, you're starting to scare me," she said sitting up, holding the sheet around her chest.

"_Right?_" he insisted, grasping her hands in his.

"Yes, I know you love me and I love you," she reassured him, now even more worried about what he was going to tell her.

He breathed a sigh of relief at her words before continuing. "I screwed up, Rachel."

The pained expression on his face as he stared at her made Rachel want to reach out to him, but she stopped herself. She had a feeling that whatever it was that he was about to tell her was not going to be something that she wanted to comfort him for. "What are you talking about?" A look of utter confusion on her face.

Jesse wondered if he should try to explain before telling Rachel what happened thereby letting her imagination run wild or if he should just rip off the band-aid and explain afterwards. He decided to go with the latter. "I had sex with Isla."

It felt like someone had knocked the wind out of Rachel. She wasn't sure she had heard him right and she really didn't want to ask again because she really didn't want to hear him say those words again, but her mouth and brain weren't cooperating with each other so she asked, "What?"

"I had sex with Isla."

Nope, she had heard him right the first time. If Rachel didn't know better, she would have thought that there was someone with a vice grip on her heart by the pain she felt in her chest all of a sudden. "When?" she managed to get out.

"Last week…" Jesse trailed off, still looking her in the eyes. "After I got home from the show one night."

"How?" she asked, disbelief coloring her features. "Wait, no, I don't want to know that." After she thought about it for a moment, she decided she did want to know. "How?" she asked again.

Finally breaking eye contact, Jesse looked down and took a deep breath before looking her in the eyes again to give her the full story. "We were just lying in bed about to go to sleep when she started kissing me and I finally kissed her back. I tried to stop it at one point but she started begging and…" he knew Rachel wanted to know some things but she didn't want know _every_ detail. "It just happened. I felt sick afterwards. I've hardly been able to sleep since that night because I feel like I've betrayed you."

She felt blood rushing through her ears as she listened to his words and all she could focus on was Augustana's "Twenty Years" playing on Jesse's iPod in the other room. Rachel felt numb even as deep down inside there was a part of her that wanted to slap him, call him a bastard and go back to New York then there was another part of her that wanted to be magnanimous about this because _she_ was the other woman after all. What right did she have to be upset that Jesse actually did what a married man should do with his wife? Hadn't she told him that they both needed to be sure about how they felt about their current partners?

_He's been telling me for weeks that he loves me so how could he even want to sleep with her? _Her jealous side argued, but then the too rational part of her rebutted. _We never actually said that we couldn't be intimate with Isla or Donovan so how can I be mad at him? _

"Rach, please say something." He knew that a million thoughts were probably going through her head at the moment but he need to know that she didn't hate him. That she still wanted to be with him.

The two sides of her continued to wage war until the magnanimous side of her won. "She's your wife, Jesse," she replied, calmly. "I'm not naïve. You guys have been together for years. She knows how to touch you, what turns you on. It was bound to happen eventually."

Jesse couldn't stop the hurt from flashing across his face at her last statement. Apparently, _he_ had been naïve because once he had told Rachel that he loved her, sex with Isla had been the furthest thing from his mind. "I'm sorry."

Rachel shrugged. "It happened." She didn't know what else to say. The angry, jealous part of her was still screaming deep inside of her but she pushed it down. "I just don't understand why you waited so long to tell me. You've had plenty of chances."

"I didn't want it to ruin our weekend," he offered. "And it has."

"No, it hasn't," she half-lied. Rachel knew that was partly true because she wouldn't trade these last two days with him for anything in the world, but the bubble that they had been living inside of out in the Hamptons had just burst in a spectacular fashion, bringing her crashing back to reality much sooner than she had anticipated.

Scooting over on the bed, Jesse cupped her face in his hands. "I'm sorry."

Rachel felt tears begin to sting in the back of her eyes as he looked at her, full of regret for what he had done with Isla. What he had possibly just done to his and Rachel's relationship.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. He needed her to know how much he regretted what had happened with his wife. It was kind of twisted that that was how he saw it. He knew that he should feel guilty for being with Rachel when he was married to someone else, but he just didn't. What he and Rachel shared just felt… right. He kept his eyes locked on Rachel's as he saw her eyes begin to fill with tears. "I love you."

Those three words finally broke whatever it was inside of her that she had been fighting. He still had her face firmly in his hands so she couldn't turn her head away from him, so she averted her eyes as tears slipped down her cheeks silently. Rachel felt Jesse's thumbs gently wipe each tear away as each one fell before she felt his lips on her cheeks kissing them away.

"Please don't cry," he begged, his own tears beginning to fall. "I'm so sorry." She finally looked at him as he wrapped his arms tightly around her and tentatively placed his lips on hers. Allowing him to deepen the kiss and slip his tongue in her mouth, she tasted the salt of their tears which only made more tears fall.

Breaking the kiss, Jesse slowly lay down on his side bringing Rachel, who was still in his arms, down with him. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead before she buried her face in his bare chest, soaking it with the tears that would not stop coming. "I love you, Rachel," he whispered against her hair as he stroked it soothingly. Jesse tried to stop his heart from shattering as a strangled sob escaped Rachel's lips.

* * *

Rachel had cried herself to sleep in Jesse's arms but only managed to stay that way for about an hour before she was wide awake again. Thoughts of Jesse and Isla consuming her. She couldn't stop the images from playing behind her eyelids of Jesse kissing Isla as she wrapped her legs around him while they thrust against each other.

Her eyes shot open to try and wipe the images from her mind. Jesse had rolled onto his back when he had fallen asleep, leaving only the arm that was currently under her body wrapped around her. She easily slipped out of the bed without waking him and grabbed the throw blanket off of the chair in the corner of the room before she made her way over to the bay window to stare at the waves. Rachel just watched the waves crash on the sand over and over again as she thought about how wonderful their time together had been in the Hamptons. She had fallen more in love with him than she had already been before their weekend getaway.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Jesse stir in the bed behind her as he woke up and felt the empty space beside him. His eyes searched the darkened room only to find her standing at the large bay window, staring out at the ocean.

"Rach?"

She turned around at the sound of his voice, a small smile gracing her lips before she turned to look out the window again.

He got out of the bed, not bothering to cover his naked body as he padded over to her quietly. Wrapping his arms around her, he leaned down and placed a kiss on her neck and rested his chin in the crook of it as he too looked out at the ocean.

"I couldn't sleep," Rachel answered his unasked question.

Jesse sighed and wrapped his arms around her even tighter. "Are we okay?"

She thought about it for a moment before answering then she turned her head and looked up at him. "Yeah…" Her voice was hesitant but reassuring. Reaching up with the hand that wasn't holding the blanket securely around her, she caressed his face wanting, no, _needing_ him to kiss her.

His mouth descended onto hers in what was supposed to be a chaste kiss, but the desire that burned inside of him for her spread like wildfire the moment their lips touched and soon his tongue was stroking Rachel's in a languid kiss that seemed to go on forever. Jesse slipped one of his hands beneath the blanket to massage Rachel's breasts as their lips remained locked together.

Rachel felt his growing hardness press against her lower back through the blanket that was still wrapped around her body. The sensation made her lean into Jesse more as they kissed each other breathless.

As they broke apart to catch their breath, Jesse kissed his way down her neck, moving the blanket off her shoulders as he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. Her breathing shallowed as the blanket fell down to the floor and her hand snaked to the back of his neck, her nails scraping along his skin.

She widened her stance and arched her back as she felt the light pressure of Jesse's hand on her abdomen urging her to do so. Rachel braced her hands on the large window in front of her, feeling Jesse's chest press into her back as he kissed and sucked on her neck. There was a part of her that wanted him to leave his mark on her so badly, and to leave her own mark on him. Damn the consequences.

"Mine," Jesse breathed against her skin as if he'd read her mind. He positioned himself just at her entrance and ran his hands back and forth across her skin smoothly. Any other night, he might have taken her roughly and they both would have collapsed into a heap on the floor, but this moment was different. He wanted her to know how much he loved her with every stroke, every caress and every kiss.

Jesse's possessiveness turned Rachel on even more. "Yours," she moaned in affirmation, pushing back on him a little in an effort to have him inside of her. The wait was pure agony.

"Yours," Jesse echoed in her ear as he pushed inside of her from behind slowly. "Always yours." His words came out as more of a growl as he pulled her body more tightly against his and they began to move in tandem.

Rachel felt like her skin was on fire and she relished the coolness of the window she was pressed up against. The sensation of him moving inside of her and his lips and hands all over any place he could reach pushed her ever closer to the edge. His lips found hers again as she craned her neck back to feverishly massage his tongue with her own.

The moment he had touched her, every other thought but thoughts of him had melted away. As they made love, no one and nothing else mattered but the two of them. Both of them tried to ignore the nagging sensation at the back of their mind that it was just temporary and that all of those other thoughts would soon come rushing back in.

Rachel gasped for air as their kiss ended, their lips bumping slightly as they quickened their pace. "Love… you," she panted against Jesse's mouth, feeling the beginnings of her orgasm. His hand slid lower on her abdomen until she felt his finger start to circle her nub. "Oh, God, Jesse…"

Jesse could feel the beginnings of her orgasm as he continued to move in and out of her at a steady pace. His tongue darted out to taste her lips. Rachel whimpered against his lips and it nearly sent him over the edge before her but he managed to maintain control over his body as he felt her legs quiver as her orgasm rocked through her body. Shockwave after shockwave continued to ripple through her as Jesse held on as long as he could before gripping her tightly to his body and thrusting into her one last time with a loud cry.

They both continued to feel the aftershocks of their coupling as Jesse pressed their bodies against the window. As he finally started to feel like he could stand on his own fully again, Jesse pulled out of Rachel and she twisted around to face him. She had never looked more beautiful than she did in that very moment. Jesse wrapped his arms around Rachel and covered her mouth with his own as he pulled her in for a deep kiss.

He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as they made their way back over to the bed, collapsing onto it in a heap of naked limbs, mouths still fused together.

* * *

After they had made love again, Rachel finally managed to get some sleep. Unfortunately, it was only for a few short hours as her dreams were invaded by images of Jesse and Isla once again. As she looked out the window towards the water, she noticed the gloomy early morning sky. Slipping out of Jesse's arms, she padded to the bathroom and shut the door quietly.

She took a quick shower before brushing her teeth and putting on just a little makeup for her journey back to the city. Throwing on a light sweater and jeans, Rachel looked at herself in the mirror and pulled her still wet hair into a bun. She looked around the bathroom and gathered all of her toiletries, placing them in her little bag and walked into the bedroom.

Rachel fully expected Jesse to have woken up when she was taking a shower but he was still fast asleep, snoring lightly. She walked around the room as quietly as she could gathering all of her clothes and folding them back neatly before packing them into her bag. Once she'd double-checked to make sure she had everything, she took her suitcase over to the door and set it next to it then went back into the bedroom and knelt down on the floor next to Jesse's side of the bed. She watched him sleep peacefully for a moment, lightly tracing the outline of his handsome face with her fingertips.

"I love you," she whispered before placing a feather-light kiss on his forehead and standing up. Walking back into the kitchen, she found a piece of paper and wrote Jesse a note. Rachel walked back into the bedroom one last time and placed the note on the nightstand next to Jesse before she leaned down to kiss him softly again. Then she was gone.

* * *

Just like he had the night before, Jesse again woke to an empty bed. Only this time it was a couple of hours after Rachel had left. He looked around the room blearily for Rachel but found no sign of her.

"Rachel?" he called out. When she didn't answer, he jumped out of bed and ran to the window to look outside at the beach. She wasn't outside. Going into the bathroom, he looked around and saw all of her stuff was gone. Jesse began to panic as he rushed back into the bedroom to see that her suitcase was gone as well. Finally, he saw the note that she had left for him sitting next to the bed on the nightstand.

Taking it off the nightstand, Jesse walked over to the chair next to the window and collapsed into it before he read her note.

_Jesse,_

_I decided to head back into the city. I needed some time to think about things. Figure some things out. Alone. I'm sorry. Thank you for the last couple of days. They were wonderful. I love you._

_Yours always,_

_Rachel_

Jesse buried his head in his hands as he let the note drift to the floor.

* * *

Rachel had just made it to the station in time to catch the Long Island Railroad back into New York. She gazed out the window as raindrops started falling against it, the gloomy, rainy day perfectly matching her melancholy mood.

She had lied to Jesse the night before. She hadn't meant to but that was exactly what she had done. They weren't okay even though she wanted them to be. Even though she had tried to make herself believe it. What she needed now was time. Or at least that's what she hoped she needed.

Trying to put herself in Jesse's shoes, Rachel thought about what she would have done if Donovan had tried to have sex with her one night. Would she have turned him down or would she have had sex with him? She and Donovan had always had great sexual chemistry so it wouldn't be like he couldn't pleasure her, but would she have been able to let herself go enough to actually enjoy it. She didn't know.

And that was why she couldn't be completely angry with Jesse. Because she wasn't sure that if faced with the same dilemma, the outcome wouldn't be the same as Jesse's. She liked to think that women were different when it came to such things but she'd had sex with Donovan plenty of times just because she wanted to have sex. He might as well have been a sex toy to her on those occasions because her pleasure had more to do with the sensations than the person she was with.

Rachel tried to shake those thoughts out of her mind, but knew how true they were. Never once had she ever felt that way about Jesse. The rational voice inside her head told her that it was because she and Jesse were still new and that once they had been together for years then maybe she might have those same thoughts about Jesse one day. She knew that was a lie though. He was different. He'd always been different.

Knowing that she had over an hour until she changed trains in Jamaica, she closed her eyes and hoped for some dreamless sleep. It eventually came. An hour and a half later, she woke up when the train came to a stop with a lurch at the station. Looking around at all of the other early morning commuters, Rachel felt like she was in a daze.

She followed the crowd off of the train, carrying her bag in her hand as she headed for the train to Penn Station. Looking at her watch, she hoped that the apartment would be empty. She just wanted to curl up in bed and take a nap.

Less than an hour later, Rachel walked through the door of her apartment to hear the shower running and Donovan singing in the bathroom. She strolled in the bedroom, setting her bag down on the floor at foot of the bed. "Hey!" she called out into the bathroom as she took her shoes off and lay down on the bed.

"Rachel?" his voice full of surprise. "I'll be out in just a minute."

She wanted to yell for him to take his time, but held her tongue and closed her eyes. When she heard the water shut off, she opened her eyes again and sat up. His hair was dripping with water as he walked into the bedroom in nothing but a towel. Without thought, her mind started automatically comparing him to Jesse and how he looked in the same state of undress. "You're home early," he observed with a smile, walking over to sit next to her on the bed.

"Yeah, Kurt had to be at work this morning so I just decided to come home and sleep in my own bed," she lied easily.

"I missed you," he said, leaning over to place a kiss on her lips. Rachel had thought that it was going to be just a simple peck on the lips, but it lingered and then his tongue traced her lips begging for entrance and she opened her mouth, feeling Donovan's tongue on her own, tasting his mint toothpaste.

His hand came up to cup the back of her head to hold her there as he deepened the kiss. All of a sudden he was pressing her back into the pillows as he moved on top of her, the towel around his waist slipping slightly as he settled between her legs. His kiss was so familiar as was his touch as his hand found its way under her sweater and bra. But it was all wrong as he ground himself against her center. It felt wrong.

"Donovan," she said, trying to get his attention as he pushed her sweater up her stomach and above her breast to reveal the bra underneath.

"Rachel," he groaned, grinding against her again as he pushed down one of the cups of her bra and began sucking and licking her breast.

She couldn't do this. "Donovan, please stop," she begged, unwanted tears slipping from her eyes.

Donovan's head immediately shot up at Rachel's words to see that she was crying. He had a horrified expression on his face as he looked at his fiancé. "Did I do something wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, moving off of her. He looked like he was afraid to touch her as he looked at her silently cry.

"I'm fine," she managed. "I'm just really tired is all which you know makes me emotional." She gestured to her tears and gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize babe," he told her. Finally, reaching out to touch her and caress her cheek softly. "Is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head no as she fixed her bra and lowered her sweater back down to cover herself.

"Alright, I'm gonna get dressed and head to rehearsals. You get some rest before the show tonight, okay?"

Rachel nodded her head and smiled at him. She watched as he got dressed and closed her eyes willing sleep to overtake her. Instead of the sleep she so longed for, she held back the tears that kept threatening to spill over until after Donovan gave her a kiss on the forehead and left the apartment.

The moment she heard the lock click in the door, she rolled over onto her side into a ball and let the tears come.

* * *

Jesse had wanted to call Rachel all day long, but she had said that she needed some time and he didn't want to push her too hard. The drive back from the Hamptons had been long and lonely. He had tried to listen to the radio but it hadn't provided the distraction that he had hoped it would. The rain hadn't done much for his mood either.

Once he had arrived home, he had been restless. He lay down to try and take a nap, but found that he couldn't fall asleep. He tried to read a book, but he couldn't concentrate. He had even tried to watch TV but his thoughts kept wandering elsewhere. Finally, he got up and walked over to the corner near the bookcase and picked up his guitar. Sitting down on the couch, he began strumming on the guitar absentmindedly as he went through his mental catalogue of songs.

Deciding on a song, he began to play in earnest, closing his eyes as he felt the music and thought of Rachel. He began the first verse of Ray LaMontagne's "Hold You In My Arms" – _When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears/It was easy to see you'd been crying _– singing the lyrics and melody with a soft growl in his voice. When he reached the chorus – _I could hold you in my arms/I could hold you forever _– he gently caressed the words and notes then his voice grew louder and his growl became more pronounced as he repeated the chorus. It was exactly what he had needed as he felt the anxiety start to melt away as he sang some of his favorite songs for the next half an hour.

When he had arrived at the theatre later that afternoon, he had hoped to see Rachel wandering the halls but she was nowhere to be found and he hadn't wanted to go knocking on her dressing room door if she still wasn't ready to talk just yet. He had dropped a bomb on her the night before and he understood that she needed time to process but not talking to her was pure agony.

A knock came at his door and he immediately jumped up to answer it in hopes that it was Rachel, but when he opened it to find Thomas he did his best to hide his disappointment.

"Well, try not to look too excited to see me or anything," Thomas teased as he walked through the doorway as Jesse motioned for him to come inside.

Jesse just rolled his eyes. "Don't try to act like you're offended," he replied with a smirk as he shut his dressing room door.

"Yeah, I could really give a shit less to be honest." Thomas plopped down unceremoniously on Jesse's couch and grinned up at his friend. "So… how was the 'getaway'?" Jesse laughed at Thomas's use of air quotations.

"Later. Tell me about Atlantic City. Did you guys have fun?"

"I'll do you one better. How about I show you?" Thomas pulled out his phone and went to the photos and found just the place to start. "Okay, so start here and just flip through."

Jesse laughed as he flipped through photo after photo of Thomas and a group of their friends. There were drunk bar pictures of course. Pictures with random women, who were apparently charmed by Thomas for some reason. "How much did you have to pay these ladies to pose with you?"

"Fuck you, St. James. Keep going."

With a chuckle, Jesse continued to flip through the pictures. The pictures at the craps tables were priceless. In one picture it was clear that all of his friends were on the winning end as they all seemed to be celebrating and then the very next picture, it looked like someone had just killed their puppy with the sad looks on each of their faces. His shoulders started shaking with silent laughter as he flipped to the very next picture and they were all celebrating again. "So did you actually win any money or did you lose it all?"

"Does this look like a face that lost money?" Thomas motioned towards his face.

Jesse thought about it for a moment. "Yes," he quipped which made Thomas crack a smile. He motioned for Jesse to continue flipping through the pictures as he got to some ones with some strippers in them. "Thom, why are there random arms and sleeves and a… _foot_? What the hell were you doing?"

"That's the beauty of it, Jesse. It's you." The look on Thomas's face could only be described as the cat who ate the canary.

Jesse burst out in laughter as he looked from Thomas's face and back to the pictures that he was currently looking at. "What?"

"It's you. You were supposed to be in Atlantic City so… you were," Thomas explained, gesturing to the pictures.

"Do you know that you're insane?"

"Some might say I'm resourceful. And smart. And that you should be thanking me."

"Thanking you for what?"

"For having the presence of mind when I was plastered out of _my_ mind to remember that I should get some sort of proof that you were there with me. You know, just in case."

Jesse quirked an eyebrow at his friend. "Just in case…"

"In case Isla asks about your weekend and wants to see some pictures." Thomas snatched his phone back from Jesse and pointed at the picture on the screen. "You were there."

"She's not going to ask for pictures. It's not like she's my mom, you know," Jesse told Thomas with a chuckle and a shake of his head.

"So how was your time away with Rachel?" Thomas asked, getting serious for a moment.

Jesse couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face as he remembered all of the wonderful moments that they had shared over the last two days. "Fantastic."

"That's awesome," Thomas started then noticed Jesse's facial expression change. "But something happened."

"Things were perfect… until I told her last night that I slept with Isla last week."

"I'm sorry, you what?" The only response he got from Jesse was an irritated glare. "So are you and Isla working things out?"

"No," Jesse answered right away.

"But…" Not feeling like he really needed to finish the sentence.

"But nothing. It was just sex."

Thomas looked at him levelly. "Do you honestly believe that?"

"Yes." Jesse had a puzzled expression on his face as he looked at his friend who had gotten up from the couch. "What are you getting at?"

Thomas shrugged. "I just don't think it's as cut and dry as you seem to think it is. Sorry, man." He clapped his friend on the shoulder before heading for the door. "I'll see you out there," he said as he walked out the door and shut it behind him, leaving a dumbstruck Jesse sitting in his dressing room.

* * *

The first time Jesse had seen Rachel all day was the moment she took the stage. He tried to get her attention just like he had every night since the show had started but she looked everywhere but where she knew he'd be. It killed him.

He had known that it wouldn't effect their performance in any way because they were the kind of people that wouldn't let their personal lives effect their professional lives. In fact, he thought that they were more on that night than they had been in awhile.

After Jesse had changed into his normal clothes after the show, he had gone down to Rachel's dressing room to see if she was there but no response came when he knocked on the door. Then one of the other actors walked by and informed him that Rachel had already left for the night about ten minutes earlier. Jesse rushed outside, hoping that she would still be signing autographs but when he got outside there was no Rachel, just a couple of the other actors from the show including Thomas.

Jesse smiled as brightly as he could for pictures with the fans and signed autographs for each of them before he decided to head home. He started to type out a text message to her on the cab ride home but erased it before he could hit the send button. As the cab pulled up next to his building, his face lit up as he recognized Rachel standing on the sidewalk a little ways down from the front entrance. Jesse paid the cab driver his money and jumped out of the cab as quickly as he could, rushing over to Rachel.

"I've wanted to talk to you all day," Jesse said, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. He felt her tentatively wrap her arms around him before they tightened around his back as she buried face in his chest, breathing him in. "What are you doing here?"

"I started to go home but when I gave the cab driver an address it was your address. I needed to see you," she told him, her voice slightly muffled by his t-shirt. "Is there somewhere we can go? We need to talk." Her words echoed through him as he remembered how he had said those very same words to her the night before. The ominous meaning behind them was not lost on him.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry for a bit of a cliffy again guys. The chapter was just getting so long again and I wanted to save what Rachel has to say for the next chapter so I can take my time with this moment. Thanks to **Kkaty **for giving me the idea about Thomas coming back with parts of Jesse in pictures from the guys' weekend. That part was a hell of a lot of fun to write. The next 2 weeks are kind of busy for me seeing as I won't be around a computer at all for either of them so I'm going to try and get an update out next week if I can. I'll do my best. :)


	19. Chapter 19

Stepping back and releasing Rachel from his embrace, they just looked at each other for a moment. Jesse wanted to go down to the bar just a few blocks away and have this conversation in public. But he knew that was unfair to Rachel, so he stepped around her without touching her and nodded his head towards his building, letting her know to follow him.

"Where are we going?" she asked in a low voice as she fell in step beside him and they approached the entrance to his building.

"The rooftop," he simply replied, looking down at her with a deep sadness in his eyes. It tore at Rachel's heart.

"But what if Isla sees us?" she whispered as they walked through the lobby doors and towards the elevator.

"She's asleep." Rachel looked at him with a puzzled expression wondering how he could know that when he hadn't even been inside his apartment yet. "She called me before the show to let me know that she had an early day tomorrow," he explained, leaving out the part where Isla had told him to wake her when he got home. He knew that was the last thing that Rachel wanted to hear.

The elevator dinged and Jesse held the door open, motioning for Rachel to get in it. Following her inside the elevator, he pressed the button for the top floor and watched the elevator doors close. His fingers itched to reach out and touch her but he kept his distance. In the reflection of the elevator door, they looked almost like strangers standing far apart, neither one looking at the other. Silent.

Rachel turned her head finally, and studied Jesse's profile. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and noticed Jesse's hand clenching and unclenching. She knew that it was killing him not to touch her like he normally would have if they were alone in an elevator, away from prying eyes. The truth was, it was killing her too.

Finally, the elevator came to a stop and Rachel stepped out of the elevator into the hallway and then walked out the door to the rooftop terrace. She looked around and noticed that it was deserted. She remembered how not so long ago they had made the momentous decision to be together on Kurt's rooftop. It seemed as though everything was coming full circle.

She could feel Jesse not too far behind her, following her to wherever she was going to take them. She walked to the railing of the rooftop garden to look at the Manhattan skyline. Jesse's arm brushed against hers as he came and stood beside her. They stared at the cityscape in front of them, trying to delay what was next as they stood in silence.

Rachel could feel all of her emotions bubbling to the surface, so she finally said something. "Is there a part of you that still wants to be with her?" she choked out, still staring straight ahead at the cityscape in front of her.

"What?" Disbelief written all over his face as he turned his head and looked at her. "No," he said, matter-of-factly.

She turned to look at him with a fire in her eyes. "Then how could you sleep with her?" she cried out, throwing her hands up in the air. "I know I said that it doesn't bother me and that I knew it would happen, but I lied. It does bother me. It makes me sick thinking of you touching her and kissing her and…and…_being_ with her." Unable to even get the word out.

"How do you think I feel about you and Donovan?"

"I wanted to get even with you so badly today. To make you feel what I felt when you told me… _that_ last night, but I couldn't even kiss Donovan without it making me feel sick with betrayal over you. Yet you somehow managed to have… _sex_ with Isla."

"Rachel…" he started, but she cut him off.

"I can't breathe when I think about her having your children and you guys starting a family together," she told him angrily as hot tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision. "Yesterday, I was imagining a future with you. What it would be like to be your wife and grow old with you and now…" She shook her head sadly, the fight leaving her completely.

"It was a mistake. I made a mistake. I know what I want, Rach," he told her, his hands on her arms holding her in place.

"I used to think you did, but now…," she paused, looking down at his chest before continuing. "I'm not so sure anymore, Jesse."

"Rachel, I love _you_." He didn't know what else to say.

Standing on her tip-toes, Rachel brought her lips to Jesse's as the desperation they were both feeling manifested itself in their kiss. Their tongues collided in a frantic duel, as Jesse wrapped his arms around Rachel, his hands tightly fisting the back of her shirt. "I love you too," she told him, slightly out of breath as she pulled away from him and looked up. The anguish she saw on his face nearly ripped her in two as she reached up to caress his face. "I'm sorry."

Jesse knew what was coming. "No," he said emphatically, irrepressible desperation bubbling its way to the surface. "No, no, no."

"I thought I could do this," her voice was soft and devoid of all emotion as she rubbed his cheek. She dropped her gaze, unable to look him in the eyes anymore.

"Don't. Please don't," he pleaded with her. It couldn't end like this. It just couldn't.

"Good-bye, Jesse," she said, a single tear finally trickling down her cheek. They both knew exactly what her good-bye meant. They would see each other at the theatre the next day, but there would be no secret rendezvous. There would be no extra caresses in their love scenes. There would no alone time in the quiet of their dressing rooms. They would go back to being virtual strangers again. Not meeting Jesse's eyes and without another word, Rachel dropped her hand back down to her side and turned on her heel as she headed for the door they had come through just a short while before.

Jesse just stood there, shell-shocked as he watched her retreating back disappear through the glass door and then into the elevator.

* * *

Rachel had thought that the tears would just flow freely as she got on that elevator and left Jesse standing alone on the rooftop, but they hadn't come. Not that she should have been surprised, considering how much crying she had done in the comfort of her own apartment earlier in the day.

Digging in her bag, she found her phone and went to her text messages. She found Kurt's name in her recent text conversations and typed out a quick text to him.

_Can we have lunch tomorrow?_

She sighed and gazed out the window at the passing buildings as she waited for Kurt's response.

_Of course. Just let me know the time and place and I'll be there._

Rachel smiled as she read Kurt's text. She really was so thankful to have Kurt in her life especially after all these years. She couldn't ask for a better best friend.

_11:30. I'll text you with the restaurant in the morning. Love you!_

She wished that she could talk to him now but it wasn't fair to constantly disrupt Kurt and Daniel's lives with her personal drama. Tonight, she would just have to go home and pretend like everything was fine even if things were far from it.

* * *

Jesse didn't know how long he stood on the rooftop, just gazing out at the cityscape and thinking. Thinking about his mistakes and regrets and decisions. Past, present and future. He headed down to his apartment in a complete trance-like state. Not even completely aware of what he was doing. Just going through the motions.

He quietly let himself into his apartment, but once he'd locked the door behind him, he stood unmoving looking around at his apartment for a little while. Eventually making his way to the bedroom, he silently walked into the room and looked at his still-sleeping wife in the dim light shining through the windows.

Were Rachel and Thomas right? Did he still want to be with Isla? He remembered when they had first gotten engaged and how happy they had both been. How in love they had been. The beginning of their marriage had been wonderful. Jesse let out a bitter silent laugh as he thought about that. The beginning of their marriage. They were still in the beginning of their marriage. After all, they had only been married four short years.

As he stood there looking at Isla, he thought about how he was more willing to do whatever it took to ensure that Rachel was a part of his life and that the future that she had dared to dream of for them would become a reality than he was to work on his marriage with the woman that he had committed his life to. The thing was, he didn't see that there was anything left of his marriage worth salvaging.

So why had he slept with Isla? Other than the obvious reason, of course. Was it because up until Rachel had said it out loud, Jesse had actually started to doubt the depth of her feelings for him? Had he wanted to see if it was truly over with Isla? If they could find again what they had obviously lost: romance, love…happiness? He and Isla hadn't been happy for so long that he had almost forgotten what happiness felt like until Rachel came back into his life then he remembered what it was like again.

Only it was a different sort of happiness with Rachel. He smiled as he remembered all those years ago when he transferred to William McKinley High School to be with Rachel. He remembered how being with her had been so completely comfortable, like home, and how the longer he had stayed there with her, the less and less he had wanted to go back to Carmel. He had been disappointed the day that she had told him that she wanted to know about her mom because the moment she had said that, he had known it was only a matter of time before it was all over for them. And he hadn't been wrong.

The first girl he had ever loved and he'd had to walk away from her. If only he could go back and tell his teenage self that the love he felt for Rachel Berry then would pale in comparison to how he felt about her now. He couldn't walk away again. His heart might never recover.

* * *

The next morning, Jesse groaned as his phone rang on the nightstand next to his side of the bed. He looked at the clock and realized that it actually wasn't as early as he had thought it was. He looked at the display on his phone and saw that it was his agent calling.

"Good morning, Adam," Jesse said in greeting.

"Did I wake you, sleeping beauty?" Adam cracked at the sound of Jesse's groggy tone.

"Actually…"

"Yeah, yeah. Listen, I just got a call from a charity and they're putting together a cabaret for around the holidays and are trying to line up some Broadway stars to be a part of it. So, naturally, you were at the top of their list," he explained.

"Sure I was," Jesse remarked with a roll of his eyes.

"I'm not shittin' ya, Jesse. They want both you and Rachel to perform, together and separately." So there was the caveat. They wanted him and Rachel to perform together. It was one thing for them to be in character and say someone else's words. But for them to have to perform in front of a live audience, as themselves, that was something else entirely.

"Do you know if Rachel's agreed to it yet?" It was important that he know this because as much as he worried about how their sure to be tenuous relationship would affect their performance, he wouldn't do it without her.

"They said that they got confirmation from her agent that she would do it just before they called me."

Jesse nodded and let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. "Okay, I'll do it."

"Great. I'll let 'em know and I'll get all the details on the event and get back to you."

He was about to hang up when he thought of something. "Hey, Adam."

"Yeah?"

"You lied. I wasn't at the top of their list. Rachel was," Jesse said in mock seriousness, before letting out a low chuckle. He knew Adam would know he was just messing with him, but he just couldn't resist giving his agent a hard time.

"I'll give you a call later, Jesse," Adam replied with a good-natured laugh of his own before hanging up the phone.

* * *

Rachel sat at the booth near the back of the restaurant waiting for Kurt. Her face lit up the moment she saw him and she gave a little wave so he would see where she was sitting. Scooting out of the booth, she stood up and hugged him as he came over to the table. She held on a little tighter and longer than she had intended to, immediately giving away to Kurt that something was definitely wrong.

He had thought something was up when she'd text messaged him so late just to ask him to meet her for lunch, but he'd been half-asleep when he had received her text and hadn't had the energy to inquire more. As they sat down on opposite sides of the booth, he studied her face looking for hints of what might be going on.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't look too good sweetie," Kurt told her, giving her hand a squeeze across the table. When she didn't open her mouth to explain, he pressed. "I take it your getaway with Jesse didn't go as planned?"

Rachel sighed before answering. "It was perfect." She had thought that once Kurt was in front of her that she would pour her heart and soul out to him, but for some reason, the words just wouldn't come at the moment.

"But…" Kurt encouraged. "Come on, Rachel, something obviously happened and judging by the look on your face it wasn't something good."

"He told me that he was with Isla recently," she finally confessed. She hoped that Kurt would understand what she meant so she wouldn't have to say it out loud.

"I'm not following you here."

Judging by the puzzled look on his face, Rachel knew she was going to have to elaborate. "He had… sex with Isla," she told him, practically spitting out the word with disgust.

Kurt's mouth hung open slowly as he took in Rachel's words. "How recently?"

"Last week." Rachel could feel that familiar anger starting to rise within her as she thought about it.

"So I'm taking it that since your getaway was perfect that he told you at the end." She nodded in affirmation.

"I took the train back on my own and left him in the Hamptons. I needed some time to think about things by myself."

"And what did you decide?"

"I…" and just as quickly as the anger had risen inside of her, she was overtaken by a wave of complete sadness. She felt Kurt give her hand another encouraging squeeze as she took a deep breath to keep the tears from coming. "I ended it."

Kurt's eyes grew wide at her admission. He hadn't necessarily approved of her relationship with Jesse, but he knew that Jesse made her happy. He also knew that she was completely in love with Jesse. "Rachel…"

And now the tears that she couldn't seem to cry the night before welled up in her eyes, completely obscuring her vision. "I had to, Kurt. We both have some decisions to make…" Kurt got out of his side of the booth and slid over next to her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"And Jesse?"

Her vision swam with the image of Jesse as he'd begged her not to end it. "He was upset," she mumbled against Kurt's chest. "But he'll see it was for the best." She felt Kurt nod and they sat their in silence for a moment longer as he let her compose herself a bit before he let go of her.

"Better?" he asked with a sympathetic smile. She nodded and he moved back to his side of the booth. "So have you thought about what's next?"

"I have to break up with Donovan." She paused for a moment and looked down at the ring that was currently on her left ring finger before continuing. "I don't love him anymore. Well, not the way that I should love a man that I'm engaged to be married to."

"You are always welcome at my place. Anytime. Day or night."

"Doesn't Daniel get sick of me being around so much?" Rachel asked, cracking a smile.

"Please," he waved her off. "He adores you. He'd probably kick me out of bed and cuddle with you if he could." He winked at her, effectively lightening the mood, making her smile grow even wider.

Then Rachel remembered the phone call that she'd received from her agent this morning. "Oh, you need to clear your schedule the first Sunday night in December."

"And why would I need to do that?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"Because I will be performing at a cabaret for charity that night with some other Broadway actors and you will be there. Front and center."

Kurt sighed dramatically. "I'll have to check my schedule. I _might_ be able to fit you in."

Rachel just smiled widely at his teasing. "You can help me with my song selections."

"Well, why didn't you say so. Then of course I'll be there," he joked, trying to dodge Rachel's playful swat from across the table.

* * *

Rachel fired off a text to Donovan on her way back to her apartment after the show later that night.

_Are you at home?_

She didn't have to wait long for his reply. _No, I'm out with the guys. Why?_

_I need you to meet me at the house. _

_I'll see you in fifteen. ;) _Rachel sighed as she saw his semi-flirtatious response.

When she got home ten minutes later, she sat down on the couch and stared at the front door waiting for Donovan to walk through it. As promised, it took him fifteen minutes to make it home and the moment he walked through the door and saw Rachel, a grin spread across his face.

She gave him a weak smile in return as he approached where she sat on the couch. He seemed completely oblivious to her somber mood as he sat down next to her and before she knew it, his lips were on hers. Rachel felt his tongue on her lips as he tried to deepen the kiss, but she planted her hands firmly on his chest and gave him a light shove.

The look on his face at her rejection made her heart fill with such incredible guilt. She knew she needed to say something. "I'm sorry, but that's not why I needed you to come home."

He looked at her with a baffled expression. "What the hell is going on with you lately? I know we've had our problems this last year and we had a huge fight but that was two months ago and I thought we'd moved past it," he replied, his voice full of frustration. "I can't even fucking touch you without you pulling away."

"I know," she agreed, trying to find the courage to say what she had called him home for.

"That's it? All you're going to say is 'I know'?" he scoffed. "We're getting married in May for Christ's sake, Rachel!"

"No, we're not," she said quietly. She wasn't sure if he had heard her or not.

"What did you just say?" Disbelief written all over his face.

"I can't marry you, Donovan." She knew it would be hard, but she didn't know how hard until the words had fallen from her lips.

"Are you serious?" he asked, his voice rising. Rachel flinched at the tone of his voice. "Are you seriously fucking doing this right now? I know I've been an asshole and we've had our problems but you don't just fucking give up, Rachel."

Rachel looked down at the ring on her finger and touched it lightly, her eyes filling with tears. She didn't want to look up, but she had to look him in the eyes when she said this. "I don't love you anymore." She had expected her words to make him even angrier because that she was prepared for.

The expression on his face made her want to look away again but she didn't. Her words had hurt him. They had cut deep and wounded him, probably his pride more than anything but they had wounded him nonetheless. Donovan ran a hand over his face, trying to regain his composure a bit. "I don't know what to say to that."

"We've been living in denial for so long, but neither of us is happy. You can't tell me that you're happy. That _this_," she gestured between the two of them, "is what you want for the rest of your life. I want more than this. I deserve more than this. And so do you."

Her words hung between them as the silence stretched on. Rachel wished that he actually would get angry and yell because it would be so much easier to deal with.

"Is there someone else?" he finally asked. She knew what he hoped her answer would be.

Rachel thought about lying just to make this all a bit easier to swallow for him, but she knew it wasn't fair. "Yes."

"How long?"

"A few months," she answered but then rambled on. "Well, technically that's when he came back into my life."

"Came back into your life?"

"He's an old high school boyfriend," she replied. Before she could stop them, the words left her lips. "My first love actually. The first boy that truly understood me and accepted me for who I was." She didn't know why she was saying all of this but she couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth.

"Who in the hell is it? Have I met him before?" The anger was starting to creep back into his voice.

"It's Jesse."

"As in, St. James?" his voice dangerous. "As in, your _fucking_ co-star? You never felt it might be important to let me know that Jesse St. James was your ex-boyfriend?"

"When we saw him on Broadway for the first time all those years ago, I didn't want you to feel intimidated by the fact that my ex was a star on Broadway already. And then when we saw him at various events, I didn't think it was important to tell you about a guy that wasn't a part of my life anymore. But once we were cast as the leads together, it had been so long that I knew if I told you that you'd be angry and you wouldn't trust me," she rushed out.

"You're damn right I wouldn't have trusted you! I would have had every right not to trust you!" he yelled, advancing on her. "Did he leave his wife for you?"

Rachel looked at him, puzzled and taken aback by his question. "What?"

"He didn't, did he?" his face contorting into a cruel sneer as he leaned down towards her. "You're going to end up all alone. With no one."

She knew it was a very real possibility that it may just turn out like that, but it was better than the life she was living now. Rachel simply nodded as she stood up slowly, twisting the ring off of her finger. "I'm sorry," she simply said then she set the ring down on the coffee table in front of her. She was walking towards the front door when Donovan's voice stopped her.

"I'll leave. I can't stand to be in this fucking apartment one more second," he spat as he walked towards her. He grabbed his bag off of the floor and swung the door open. Looking back with a complete look of disgust, he walked out the door and slammed it shut behind him causing Rachel to flinch at the sound.

Slowly, she turned her head towards the coffee table and tears rolled down her cheeks. Finally it was over. The ring was gone and so was Donovan.

* * *

**Author's Note: **No cliffhangers this time. I figured the least I could do after angsty!St. Berry was to have Rachel finally end things with Donovan. It needed to happen. Hopefully, it lived up to your expectations and I'm not killing you guys with the angst. If you guys have any suggestions for what Rachel should sing at the cabaret, I'd love to hear them. I pretty much know what I want Jesse to sing and Jesse/Rachel to sing as a duet but if you have any suggestions for those then let me know. As always, reviews are love so please leave one and let me know what you think.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note:**I just wanted to thank you guys for the AMAZING response to the last chapter. I was out of town but got read and respond to all the reviews on my iPhone. I was blown away. I love hearing what you guys think so please continue to review b/c reviews make me happy. Enjoy!

* * *

Ever since his weekend out in the Hamptons, so much had changed in Jesse's life that it had been jarring. He had known when Isla had made the promise to him about not working so much that it would only last so long. They were once again living life like ships passing in the night. If she wasn't traveling then she was gone in the morning when he woke up and he was sound asleep when she got home. Isla had explained, over the phone, that she and her team had a big deadline to meet and had lots of things that needed to be done for an upcoming issue.

As for Rachel, he had decided to give her the space that she obviously needed. Not that it was easy. Every night when he got to the theatre he had to force himself to not stop at her dressing room because they didn't have that kind of relationship anymore. So he spent a lot of his time at the theatre either in his own dressing room or in Thomas's.

The first week was the toughest for Jesse. He tried to keep the bone-deep sadness that he felt every time he thought of Rachel from showing, but he knew that she would see it. He knew that most people who saw his showface wouldn't notice, but Rachel knew him well enough to see right past it. He couldn't fool her anymore. But he was a professional actor, so he kissed her and touched her and sang with her every night. As scripted.

That first week was also the week that Jesse had decided that it was time to start the process of ending his marriage. Or at least find out how he should go about doing just that. He had decided that it was what he wanted to do the night that Rachel had ended things with him, but had had given himself a cooling off period for a couple of days to make sure that when he place that phone call that he was thinking clearly.

"Will Davis's office. May I help you?" came the secretary's voice, who had answered the phone.

"Hi, Shelly. It's Jesse St. James. Is Will available?" he asked, his voice neutral.

"Certainly, Mr. St. James. One moment," she replied.

Jesse was on hold for all of ten seconds when Will picked up the phone. "Jesse St. James. It's been so long since I've heard from you that I was beginning to think that I'd been taken off retainer," Will said, amusement lacing his words.

"Well, I thought about it but it's just so hard to find a decent lawyer these days," Jesse joked.

Will chuckled. "Yeah, well. To what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?"

"I need your legal advice on a person matter."

"Sure. What can I help you with?" Will asked. Jesse could just picture the older man leaning back in his chair and looking out the windows of his midtown office towards uptown as he waited for Jesse to ask his question.

"I want to know what my options are for a divorce," Jesse simply stated.

"Well, here in New York, you can file for a no-fault divorce but the stipulation with that is that both parties need to be in agreement over the division of any marital assets and it has to be uncontested." He paused before sighing and continuing. "Otherwise, most likely you're looking at filing for separation and being legally separated for a year before any divorce proceedings can begin."

Now it was Jesse's turn to sigh. "I can't wait over a year," he told him as he thought of having to tell Rachel that it wouldn't be another year until any and all ties to Isla were severed.

"Well, if you think that your wife won't contest the divorce then your marriage could be dissolved within a matter of months. Do you want me to have the paperwork drawn up?" Will asked.

"Sure," Jesse replied, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Just give me a call if you have any more questions or when you're ready to file."

* * *

The following week the show's director informed everyone that they would be receiving invitations in the mail to a Halloween party that he was throwing in a few short weeks for the cast, crew and their significant others. Jesse groaned inwardly when Edward had mentioned that significant others were invited. When Jesse wasn't onstage, his thoughts were plagued with either the party and if he would be there by himself or not or how he was going to broach the subject of a divorce with her.

All they seemed to be doing lately was communicating by phone and they really hadn't been doing much of that over the last couple of weeks. Jesse knew that he didn't want to bring up the fact that he wanted a divorce over the phone. He needed to have it face-to-face. Knowing Isla, though, Jesse highly doubted that she would agree to a divorce without a fight.

Then there was the issue of the party. If she got the invitation before he did then he would be obligated to bring her. Having Rachel and Isla in the same room together would be awkward at best. And if Donovan was there it would be ten times worse for all of them. His only hope was that she would still be too busy with work to want to go with him.

The invitation came on a Saturday afternoon when Jesse was at the theatre and not at home to check the mail. He got a text message from her while he was at the theatre stating that she had just RSVP'd for both of them for the Halloween party.

* * *

The very next week Jesse was exhausted as he walked into Thomas's dressing room and plopped himself down in a chair.

"You look like shit, Jesse," Thomas remarked, glancing over at his friend.

"I just have a lot on my mind. I've been getting three hours of sleep a night. Tops," Jesse explained.

"Rachel or Isla?"

"Both, actually. I called my lawyer not too long ago and asked for some legal advice," he told Thomas cryptically.

"About?" Thomas leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees.

"My options for a divorce. I asked him to draw up the paper work. My marriage is over and it has been for a long time. I should have done this months ago."

"Well, I can't argue with that. When are you going to talk to Isla?"

"That's the thing, ever since I got back from the Hamptons two weeks ago, I've barely seen her. We'll talk on the phone but it's usually just about our schedules. I mean, it's not like I can tell her over the phone that I want a divorce." Jesse sighed in frustration.

"Yeah, I don't suppose that's a conversation that you should have on the phone," Thomas conceded. "Have you talked to Rachel at all?"

"You mean other than the dialogue onstage? Not really. I can't just be friends with her and until my situation changes…" Jesse trailed off.

Thomas nodded in silent understanding. "So what did your lawyer say?" he asked, moving the conversation away from Rachel.

"That if I don't want my divorce to take over a year then Isla can't contest it." Jesse's head fell back against the chair he was sitting in.

"I hate to say this, but I don't see Isla _not_ contesting it. This is Isla we're talking about." Thomas had known Isla almost as long as he'd known Jesse. She wasn't the type of person to end things quietly.

"That's what I'm afraid of."

* * *

It had been a little more than three weeks. Three weeks since she had ended things with Jesse. Three weeks since she had broken off her engagement to Donovan and decided that she would rather possibly be alone than marry a man she didn't love and would never love enough. Three weeks since she'd had a decent night's sleep.

Rachel lay in her – _and Donovan's_ – bed in the darkness, willing sleep to overtake her. Every time she had imagined ending things with Donovan she had never been sure what she would be feeling once it was finally over.

She had known that she would feel relief, but she hadn't thought that it would be this immense. She had thought that she would be sadder than she was. Perhaps mourning all the little things that had made her fall in love with him and accept his proposal in the first place, but those feelings didn't come. Not for Donovan at least.

Her thoughts were instead consumed by Jesse and how much she missed him even though she saw him every day. She thought of all of the little things that she loved about Jesse. The way his eyes would crinkle when he laughed. How he listened to her tell him things about herself so intently that she was sure he would remember every word that she told him. The way he would rub his thumb back and forth across the back of her hand absentmindedly when he held her hands in his. The way he would gaze at her when he thought she wasn't paying attention like she was the most perfect human being he had ever laid eyes on and when she'd turn her head to catch him looking at her, he would just smile unabashedly back at her.

The way she could feel how much he loved her when he kissed her, even if it was the simplest of kisses. How he allowed himself to be vulnerable and honest with her even though she knew that it went against everything that he was to be that way, but he had wanted her to see him. All of him. The way he had looked as she had said good-bye. The agony of it.

Tears flooded her eyes as she thought of that final moment. She knew that what she had done was for the best, it really was, but that didn't mean that it wasn't hard.

When she had seen him at the theatre earlier that night, it had been just before their performance. She had avoided him as much as she possibly could backstage. Avoiding him backstage had become part of her pre- and post-show ritual. But she could always feel his eyes on her before the performance would begin and she would look up and their eyes would lock and she would feel such a sense of calm wash over her.

Only tonight, when she had looked up to his place on the other side of the stage he wasn't looking at her as he always did. She had stared at him openly for the longest time, hoping that he would just glance at her. Something. Anything. His expression had been blank, emotionless. _Look at me, look at me, look at me_, she had said to herself over and over, hoping that he would hear her silent pleas. Nothing.

As she had taken the stage, she had felt off. She knew that the audience wouldn't be able to tell because her performance was as flawless as always. If any of them would have been able to look into her eyes, then they would have seen the anguish that consumed her. She was sure that Jesse could see it, but he did nothing to let on that seeing her this way affected him. After all, she thought, she was the one that had ended things between them.

She felt that same familiar pull as they had kissed and pretended to make love onstage, but nothing else was out of the ordinary. No additional caresses or thrusting harder than was necessary when performing on a stage or lingering glances after their pivotal love scene.

It had taken every ounce of will power within Rachel to refrain from thrusting her tongue into Jesse's mouth or rubbing herself against him. She craved the taste of him, his touch but she couldn't be with him. Not while he was still married to someone else. She couldn't put herself through that anymore.

Rachel wanted to be with him more than anything but she wanted to know that she was the only woman in his life. The only one that he was sleeping next to. The only one that he was kissing and making love to. Until he ended things with Isla she would never know that.

She still hadn't told Jesse about her split from Donovan because she didn't want him to feel pressure to end things with Isla simply because she had ended her relationship. Rachel knew it was a little idealistic and naïve but she wanted Jesse to end his marriage to Isla of his own volition. When he finally left Isla, she wanted to know that he did it because he wanted to be with Rachel and couldn't live without her any longer.

Rolling over onto her side, Rachel closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing as she thought about what life would be like for her and Jesse when they were both completely free to be with each other. A sense of calm washed over as she saw Jesse's smiling face behind her eyes and eventually sleep overtook her as she pictured her life with Jesse.

* * *

Rachel was lying on a lounge chair high up on a bluff on the patio of a hotel overlooking the royal blue water of the caldera of Santorini, Greece. She wasn't sure how she had gotten there, but she relaxed, closed her eyes and basked in the glow of the overhead sun in her tiny black bikini.

She opened her eyes as a shadow fell over her, only to look up into Jesse's beautiful face. "Hey," she said, elated to see him.

"Hey yourself," he replied before leaning down and capturing her lips in a quick kiss, making Rachel's heart speed up. "I woke up and you were gone."

"Well, you could sleep the day away," she teased, as she gazed at him through the shades of her sunglasses and watched him lounge on the chair next to hers.

"After the night we had last night I could," he told her, lifting his sunglasses and raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Are you complaining?"

"Not at all. In fact, I'd gladly forego a good night's sleep for a night like that quite often," Jesse replied. "You know, just for future reference."

Rachel giggled as she turned her head to look out at the beautiful view of the caldera in front of her. "I'll keep that in mind."

They lay next to each other in silence, listening to the wind and watching the boats and ships moving around the water below them. Then Rachel felt Jesse's hand take hers as he laced their fingers together. "I love you," he told her, before raising her hand to his lips and placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand. She turned her head to look at him, smiling warmly at him. Her heart swelled as he ran his thumb back and forth across the back of her hand where he had just placed a kiss.

"I love you too," she responded with a contented sigh.

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked, still clasping her hand in his.

"You mean besides lie here with you and get a tan?"

"Yes."

She let out a breath as she thought about the day ahead. "Well, we're going on a donkey ride down to the port and we're taking a boat out to the volcano before we go swimming in the hot springs."

"That's my girl," he smiled at her. "Always the planner."

"Hey, you love that about me."

"I do." He kissed her hand once again.

Two hours later, they had a bag with towels and had thrown on some clothes for the ride down to the port and the hike up the volcano. Rachel heard Jesse call out her name from behind her as they rode down on separate donkeys. As she turned around, giggling uncontrollably as her donkey made its way downwards she saw Jesse with the camera in his hand and smiled broadly as he snapped a picture of her.

Just then his donkey lurched forward, causing him to almost topple off of it and drop the camera. She snickered as she watched him steady himself on top of his donkey. "It's not funny," Jesse cried as he tried to hold back a laugh of his own.

"It kind of is," she yelled back even as her own donkey lurched slightly which caused Jesse to laugh loudly as he watched her try to hang on to her own donkey. "It's not funny!"

"You were right the first time, Rach. It kind of is funny," he teased.

When they finally reached the Old Port, they had the man who helped them with their donkeys take a picture of them with their trusty mode of transportation that had just brought them safely down from the village high above them. Jesse patted his donkey on the head affectionately before he grabbed Rachel's hand and they headed for the boat that was waiting to take them to the volcano.

Sitting outside at the front of the boat, Rachel and Jesse alternately posed for pictures as they took turns with the camera and the boat headed towards the volcano. They even had another one of the passengers take a picture of them with Santorini as their back drop.

As their group unloaded from the boat, they lingered so they could bring up the rear. "I think I'm gonna like this view," Jesse said suggestively, wrapping his arms around Rachel from behind as they walked up the path a little ways from where their boat had docked.

"Why do you think I wore these shorts?" Her response earned her a kiss on the neck from Jesse before he released her from his grip and they followed the group ahead of them. She glanced back at him a few times as they made the climb up the winding path and noticed him watching her rear end intently. They reached some jagged rocks and just as she was about to step onto a higher rock easily, she felt Jesse's hands on her ass causing her to stop her forward progress with one leg up on the rock in front of her and turn around to look at him.

He looked up at her, grinning widely. "I thought I might give you a little boost."

"Uh huh." She laughed as she shook her head and allowed him to squeeze her butt a little as he gave her a little push to the rock in front of her.

Once they had made it to the top of the volcano, Rachel looked out towards the ocean and then twirled around to look at Santorini perched high atop the outer rim of the caldera that they were currently at the center of. "Wow," Rachel breathed out. It was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen.

She caught sight of Jesse a short distance away snapping pictures of their breathtaking surroundings. Her eyes traveled down his body as she watched the breeze blow his loose curls around, the white t-shirt that fit in all the right places, the navy blue swim trunks that also fit in all the right places, his toned and tanned – thanks to the Mediterranean sun – calves. He was nearly as breathtaking as the island that surrounded them.

She tore her gaze away from Jesse and looked at the smaller island to the north of where she stood, Thirasia. Rachel wondered what life on a tiny island like that would be like. She wondered if the people there were content with their life or if some of them longed to one day live in a big metropolis like Athens like she had dreamed of New York when she was growing up in Lima, Ohio.

Jesse turned and saw Rachel deep in thought as she looked towards the smaller island. Raising the camera in front of him once again, he began to take pictures of a completely oblivious Rachel. Her hair blowing behind her in the steady breeze of the caldera. She looked perfect.

After a moment, she turned to look at him, noticing the camera pointed straight at her. Ever the star, she struck a pose for him and smiled. "Glad to see you actually getting some use out of my gift," Rachel teased, pointing at the camera in his hand as he walked towards her.

"Most of the pictures are of you," he said softly as he leaned towards her and kissed her lips softly.

They were lost in their own little world when Jesse saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head, he saw that the rest of their group was headed back down towards the boat. So, taking Rachel's hand in his and linking their fingers together, they followed everyone back down the path that they had come up just a short while before.

Less than thirty minutes later, they were stripping down to their swim suits and holding hands as they jumped off the side of the boat together. Even though they had both been prepared for it, the waters of the Mediterranean were still ice cold to their sun-warmed bodies. They quickly swam towards the hot springs to warm up but realized once they reached the small area that it was more of a lukewarm springs.

"You can stand up, Rach," Jesse told her as he stopped swimming in front of her. She felt the warm mud squish between her toes as she placed her feet on the bottom and squealed at the strange sensation. "Do you need me to carry you?" Jesse asked as he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"If you insist," she replied, as Jesse walked a little further into the cove but kept a far enough distance from the rest of the tour group. Rachel leaned her head back to smooth her hair back and felt Jesse fingers move under her bikini bottoms to squeeze her bottom gently. "Jesse," Rachel scolded as she immediately leaned back up to glare at him.

"What?" he asked, trying to feign innocence.

"You know what," she replied, shoving his shoulders playfully.

He pulled her close to him again before replying with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "You know you like it."

"I would if there weren't twenty other people around us."

"Do you know who you're talking to?" he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow. "The idea of getting caught turns you on even more." He emphasized his point by grinding her hips onto his hardening erection which caused her mouth to drop open slightly as a quiet moan escaped her lips at the sensation.

"Not now," she protested half-heartedly even as she herself locked her legs tightly around Jesse's waist and ground herself against him again.

"No one can see us in this murky water," he reassured her. "They don't know where my hand is right now." His voice was husky as his fingertips grazed the skin just above her bikini bottoms. She gave him another warning look without saying a word. Jesse knew that look all too well so he raised his hands above the water with a slight smirk. "I'll be on my best behavior."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she moved so their faces were only inches apart. "There'll be plenty of time for that later," she told him before kissing him lightly on the lips and then letting go of him to stand on the muddy bottom of the hot springs.

"You know, the mud is supposed to be really good for your skin," Jesse said as Rachel waded away from him a bit.

"Oh, really?" she asked not paying much attention to what Jesse was doing when she felt him smear mud on the side of her face.

She turned and looked at him with a mixture of shock and amusement. "That color looks nice on you. You might want to rub some on the other side so it's even," he managed, unable to keep a straight face.

Dunking her head under the water, Rachel washed it off of her face before grabbing a handful of the mud in her own hands. She finally resurfaced near Jesse who was still chuckling.

"You didn't like my mud mask?"

"I just thought," she said, before reaching up and rubbing mud all over his face. "That you might want one as well."

Instead of washing it off immediately, he flashed a disarming smile at her and asked, "The mud only makes me look ruggedly handsome. I'm even sexier now, right?" He pulled Rachel to him, and holding her tightly, rubbed his face along the side of hers getting mud all over her again. Rachel merely laughed as she reached up and pushed his head underneath the water.

So that was how they spent the rest of their time at the hot springs, goofing off like a couple of teenagers. As Rachel laughed when Jesse dunked her under the water, she thought about how this was one of the things she loved most about them. They didn't take themselves too seriously all the time and they made each other laugh. Laughter was important.

Before they knew it, they were back in the Old Port and were boarding the gondola to take them up to Fira so they could head back to their hotel and get ready for dinner. Once again, Jesse's camera was out and he was taking photos of the view of the caldera from the gondola as it moved upwards. Holding out the camera at arms length, he got Rachel's attention and snapped the picture as he kissed her soundly on the lips. He flipped the camera around so they could look at the screen and they both smiled at the picture he had just taken.

"I think that's my favorite," Rachel said softly as she linked her arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Once they arrived back at their hotel, they both showered and got ready for dinner. Jesse stood out on the veranda of their suite watching the brilliant orange, pink and red hues of the sunset on the horizon while he waited for Rachel to finish getting ready. "Rach, we're going to be late for dinner," he called out, glancing back towards the open door of their suite.

"I'm almost ready," she replied loudly as she slipped her shoes on. She picked up the necklace from the table beside the chair she had been sitting in and walked out onto the veranda. Coming up behind Jesse quietly, she slipped her arms around his waist as she came to a stop next to him and cuddled into his side.

"Hi," he said, kissing the top of her head. "You ready?"

"Almost. Will you put my necklace on for me?" She smiled up at him as she handed him her necklace.

"Of course. You look gorgeous, by the way," he told her as she moved to stand in front of him. He placed a tender kiss at the nape of her neck as she swept her hair to the side.

"Thank you," she said, glancing back at him. "You look quite dashing yourself."

"I do what I can," he whispered in her ear. "This is your new necklace," he observed, finally noticed what necklace he held in his hand.

"Well, it was a wedding present from my wonderful husband," she remarked as he draped it over her neck and clasped it.

"I must say, he has good taste." He placed another kiss on the nape of her neck before she turned around to face him fully.

"Oh, he does," she told him, reaching up and clasping her hands behind his neck. "And he's handsome and charming and talented and sweet. But don't tell him I said he's sweet because he hates when I tell him that."

He brought his face closer to hers. "That's because most men don't like to be called sweet."

"But you are sweet," she replied, brushing a stray curl off of his forehead.

"Only to you." Rachel knew that was a lie but she said nothing. "And that's only because you're my wife." She felt her heart speed up in anticipation when he winked at her, and then his lips were on hers in a heated kiss.

* * *

Rachel's eyes snapped open, images of her dream flooding her vision. Jesse's words still echoing through her. She felt wetness on her cheeks and reaching up she realized that she had been crying. It had felt so real. It was like she had actually been in Santorini with Jesse on what she could only imagine had been their honeymoon.

This was the way her night's had been for the last few weeks. Every night it was a different glimpse at her possible future with Jesse. Waking up to find that it hadn't been reality and that she was all alone in her bed in New York still was like being doused with ice cold water. Her heart ached as she remembered the happiness that she had felt only moments earlier in her dream world. She ached to go back to that moment and that place. Her little slice of heaven.

She knew there was no going back though. It wasn't real. It might never become a reality. She and Jesse were no longer together and he was still with Isla.

_But what if he wasn't? _She argued with herself._Or what if he knew that I was no longer with Donovan? It might change things._

Rachel had wanted to not tell Jesse about Donovan or pressure him in any way because she wanted him to make the decision on his own, but she wasn't so sure that was the right thing to do anymore. She was in love with him. She wanted to be with him. No, she _needed_ to be with him.

The cast Halloween party was tomorrow night. She would tell him then. She knew that significant others were invited but Rachel hoped that Jesse would come alone. Rachel didn't want to avoid him anymore. She wanted him to know that she was free and she hoped that he would tell her that he soon would be as well.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I thought I'd give you guys a little bit of fluff thrown in with all the angst and the only way to do that was with a dream. I did as much research as possible on the New York divorce laws, but since I'm not a lawyer I'm sure I screwed something up but hopefully no one notices. :) I've had the party planned for awhile and have had a portion of it written for quite awhile so hopefully that means it won't take me too long to post the next chapter.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note: **Sorry that my updates haven't been coming as quickly as they were in the beginning. I've been extremely busy over the last few weeks and this week I've been busy and completely distracted by all the wonderful St. Berry stuff we've been getting. *thud* Just 2 more days until they're back on our screens again. Anyways, hopefully the length of this chapter makes up for making you guys wait. :) Thanks to **northstar61 **for once again being a sounding board for me with some things in this chapter. As always, reviews make me happy so leave me a review and let me know what you guys thought. Enjoy!

* * *

Rachel had gone back and forth about asking Kurt to come with her to the party so she wouldn't have to go alone. One minute she had thought about going to the party alone, the next she wanted Kurt to be there just in case Isla ended up coming with Jesse. In the end, she had called Kurt to find out if he would go with her. He had initially told her that she didn't need him there since the entire cast and crew were practically family, but had ultimately agreed when she told him that while they were family none of them knew about all that had gone on between her and Jesse.

As she put her costume on and got ready for the party, her nerves started to get the better of her. When she had seen Jesse earlier at the theatre all she could think about was her dream from the night before. Instead of the nerves she was feeling as she put the finishing touches on her costume at that moment, she had felt completely calm as she had looked at Jesse earlier. Her sense of calm had helped reassure her that she was going to be doing the right thing by telling him that she had broken off her engagement to Donovan.

Thinking of how she had felt just hours before, Rachel took a deep breath and tried to relax. The knot that had taken up residence in her stomach just wouldn't go away as her thoughts were invaded by the possibility of Isla coming with Jesse.

A knock sounded at her front door announcing Kurt's arrival. "Happy thoughts, Rachel," she said to herself as she looked in the mirror one final time. Going over to the front door, Rachel opened it to see Kurt in the perfect costume to compliment her own.

"You look adorable," he told her, giving her a quick hug.

"Oh, my God, Kurt." Rachel giggled as she looked at his costume again after she had shut and locked her front door. "I might be slightly biased, but I do believe that we are going to have the best costumes at the party."

* * *

Jesse tightened his tie around his neck as he got ready for the Edward's Halloween party. The moment that Isla had RSVP'd to the party she had went on a search for the perfect costumes for them to wear to the party. She had explained that the invitation had specified that it was a Broadway themed Halloween party. Jesse had chuckled at the fact that a Halloween party had a theme at all.

So there he was in a white shirt, tie, dress slacks and suspenders with his hair slicked back like Juan Peron. Isla had the iconic white dress worn during "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" with her at the office so she could get ready there and meet him at the party uptown. At first, he had tried to convince Isla that they should wear different costumes. After all, _Evita_ belonged to him and Rachel. It had since they were teenagers. But she had insisted that they would make the perfect Juan and Eva Peron and would not hear of wearing anything else so instead of fighting with her over it, he had simply just agreed.

Grabbing his jacket, he shot a quick text to Isla letting her know that he was on his way to the party and that he'd meet her there later then headed out the door.

* * *

Rachel smoothed her red dress as she rode the elevator up to Edward's floor. The top floor. "Stop fidgeting," Kurt reprimanded her as he looked over at Rachel.

"I can't help it. I'm nervous." She touched her wig to make sure it was in place again.

"Don't be. Just have fun tonight, Rachel. Okay?" She nodded in affirmation just before the elevator doors opened to reveal a large open penthouse with a distinct modern yet traditional feel to it. Rachel immediately decided that she liked it.

"Rachel," Edward said, coming over to greet her. "You look wonderful." He embraced her kissing her on the cheek lightly. Turning to Kurt, Edward eyed him as though trying to remember his face. "I do believe that we've met, yes?"

"Edward, this is my best friend, Kurt Hummel. You met him opening night," Rachel told him.

It was as though a light bulb went off above Edward's head as he recalled the night he had met Kurt. "Ah, now I remember. Could your fiancé not make it tonight, Rachel?"

"Uh, he had… other plans tonight," she replied with a hesitant smile. She glanced around at everyone who was already there and noticed that Jesse wasn't among them.

"That's too bad. Well, he'll be sorry he missed this party," he told them jovially. "Please. Make yourselves at home." He swept his arm out towards the open room in front of them. "Would you like a drink?" He gestured towards the bar on one side of the large living room.

"We'd love one actually," Rachel answered gratefully as her nerves began to get the better of her again. So she and Kurt followed him over to the bar and he ordered them both a drink from the bartender. As Edward handed her and Kurt their drinks, they continued to chat and Rachel was glad for the distraction he was providing her with.

Every time the elevator dinged, Rachel's eyes would dart towards it hopefully only to feel herself deflate a little when it wasn't Jesse who stepped off the elevator. She and Kurt eventually made their way over to a couple of her cast mates and had been chatting with them when the elevator dinged once again. This time as she glanced over to see who had arrived, her heart thumped loudly in her chest as Jesse walked out of it looking positively debonair in suspenders and a tie with his hair slicked back. It took her a moment to realize that he was alone.

She smiled as she watched him scan the room obviously looking for someone. When his eyes fell on her, she knew that he had just found who he had been looking for. The smile that graced his features made her heart skip a beat. It was like all of the heartache of nearly the entire last month was gone with just that one moment. Rachel fought the urge to run over to him and tell him everything that she wanted to tell him so she turned her attention back to her friends and continued their conversation as soon as she saw Edward walk over to greet Jesse.

Jesse sighed inwardly as Edward came over to him. He really liked talking to the director but he didn't know how long he had until Isla showed up and he was unable to have the conversation with Rachel that he wanted to have. After what felt like ages, but was really more like ten minutes, he politely excused himself and headed over towards Rachel and Kurt.

"I'm going outside for a little bit," Rachel whispered. Kurt nodded in understanding and turned to give Jesse a small wave before Rachel headed out to the terrace with Jesse following closely behind.

As Rachel reached the railing, she slowly turned to the side to face Jesse fully, a tentative smile on her face. "Hi," was all she could manage.

"I like your costume," he told her softly with an affectionate smile as he reached up to lightly touch her curly red wig.

A giggle escaped Rachel's lips as she looked down at her red dress. "I was going to go with Fanny Brice but when I saw Annie at the costume shop, I knew it was the one."

"It's a Rachel Berry classic," he said remembering how she had told him that it was her favorite Halloween costume. "I think you made the right choice. Besides, Kurt as Daddy Warbucks is completely priceless." They both glanced inside to see Kurt with his bald cap on his head before they erupted into laughter.

"Believe or not, he was really excited about that costume. When I told him what I found he told me that I didn't need to say another word and that I'd just found our costumes."

Jesse merely nodded and an awkward silence filled the space between them. Finally, Jesse spoke up. "I hate that we're drifting apart…"

"Jesse…" Rachel started but he stopped her.

"No, please let me finish."

Rachel nodded as she looked up at him. There was obviously something that was eating away at him that he needed to tell her. She felt sick to her stomach as she thought of all of the horrific possibilities. All of the different things he could say to basically tell her that he had decided that he wanted to stay with Isla. That her dream from the night before would never become a reality for them. That Donovan's last words to her would end up being prophetic after all.

"Rachel, I know that you said that we needed space to think. That we needed time to think about what we really want. As much as I hate that we've become virtual strangers, you were right that we needed this. I've done a lot of thinking and I've made some decisions," Jesse explained.

* * *

Jesse and Rachel had been out on the terrace just a few short minutes when Thomas saw Isla get off the elevator in all her glamorous and regal _Evita_ glory. He wanted to run outside and warn Jesse that his wife had just arrived, but he watched helplessly as Edward greeted Isla.

Thomas was sure she had just asked if the director had seen Jesse, since he now watched in abject horror as Edward led her towards the terrace where Jesse and Rachel were currently having a private moment. He just hoped that they had been able to say what they needed to say in the small amount of time that they had just had alone together.

Instead of running out to the terrace like he wanted to, Thomas did the only thing he could think of. He went in search of Kurt.

* * *

"The thing is, Rachel. You were right to be angry with me for having sex with her. You were right to question the reasons why I did it. After you left that night, I wondered the very same thing. I sat in that bedroom and thought about what I wanted and needed. I –" His sentence was cut off by the sound of the terrace door opening.

Then it was like everything happened in slow motion as he saw Isla then looked back at Rachel to see the open and warm expression she had been wearing before disappear completely.

Jesse noticed Isla's eyes narrow for a brief second as it dawned on her that she appeared to be interrupting what seemed to be a very private moment. As if he had merely imagined her look of jealousy, a sultry smile slid into place as she slinked over to Jesse. Although, instead of her eyes resting on him, her eyes were trained on Rachel in an almost predatory gaze as she made her way over to him.

"There you are," Isla said as she snaked her arm through Jesse's and caught him off guard by kissing him soundly on the mouth. Her lips lingered longer than was necessary, so Jesse broke the kiss and looked at Rachel apologetically.

Rachel felt her heart shatter at the sight before her. Not only was Isla dressed as one of the most beautiful and iconic female characters ever on the Broadway stage, but she was also comfortably on the arm of the only man that Rachel loved. As Isla looked Rachel up and down, Rachel suddenly regretted her costume choice.

"Aren't you going to introduce us, Jesse?" Isla asked, as she looked at her husband pointedly. He turned and looked at her questioningly as he heard the tone in her voice. She didn't give him a chance to respond as she stuck her hand out to Rachel. "I'm Isla." Isla paused for a moment as Rachel took her hand to shake it. "St. James. Jesse's wife."

Rachel slipped her showface in place as a brilliant smile spread across her features. "It's nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you," Rachel told her brightly as she shook Isla's hand. "I'm Rachel Berry."

"So what were you two up to out here all by yourselves?" Isla asked, the sweetness of her tone belied by the venom that laced it.

"We were just –" Once again Jesse's words were cut off by the sound of the terrace door opening as Kurt stepped outside.

"Sorry I had to step inside for a moment to call Daniel," Kurt told Rachel as he walked over to her, wrapping his arm around his best friend's waist. "You know how he worries." Rachel plastered a smile on her face as she looked at him with wide eyes as if to ask what the hell he was doing. His wordless response seemed to tell her to go with it. Or at least that's what Rachel was able to make of it.

"So everything is okay?"

"Yep." Kurt finally turned to look directly at Isla. "Hi, I'm Kurt, Rachel's friend," he said, reaching out to shake Isla's hand.

"Isla St. James," she replied, a guarded smile on her face.

"So I hear you work for Vogue," Kurt said, causing Isla to turn and look at Jesse in surprise thinking that she had possibly misjudged the scene she had interrupted entirely.

"I do. Do you like fashion?"

"I live and breathe fashion. I have since I was old enough to know what it was. I'm hoping to start my own line eventually." Even though Isla was supposed to be the enemy, Kurt couldn't hide the excitement in his voice as he talked about his passion with someone who seemed to love it as much as he did.

"Are you currently working on a line?" Isla asked, genuinely interested.

"Well, I was going to design Rachel's wedding dress but –" Kurt started, not realizing that Rachel still had yet to tell Jesse about Donovan. After seeing him with Isla, she wasn't so sure that she wanted to know.

Rachel noticed the puzzled expression on Jesse's face when Kurt had spoken in the past tense about designing her wedding dress. "But I just decided that I would buy one instead since the wedding date isn't too far off and Kurt's just so busy," Rachel interjected quickly before Kurt could tell everyone that she was no longer engaged.

Kurt didn't question it, he just nodded and continued talking fashion with Isla. After a couple of moments, Rachel had to be anywhere but out on that terrace. "Excuse me, I need to find the restroom," she said, before smiling at them all and walking back inside.

Jesse waited for a moment before looking for an excuse himself. "I'm gonna go grab myself a drink. Would either of you like anything?"

Kurt waved him off, but Isla took Jesse up on his offer. "I'll have a glass of Pinot Noir."

Jesse nodded and hurried inside. Once he was back in the living room, he searched around for Rachel but didn't see her. He seriously considered going after her for a moment but decided against it. He'd have to figure out how to get her alone and talk to her later. He needed to know if what she had said about her wedding was true.

As Jesse stood at the bar waiting for his Crown and Coke, he felt arms wrap around him from behind. Isla may not be an actress but she loved putting on a show whenever she could and Jesse knew that was exactly what she was doing at that moment. That's what she had been doing since the moment she had arrived at the party. She wanted everyone to believe that their marriage was perfect and that they were a happy couple in love.

He turned around and managed to move out of her grasp as he handed her the glass of wine. "Let's go say hi to Thomas," Jesse said, ignoring the look that his wife was giving him after he had moved away from her and walking over to where Thomas was currently chatting with some of the crew.

Jesse tried to be engaged in the conversation but his eyes kept falling on Rachel where she was standing in a group talking. There were some people dancing and Jesse noticed that Rachel kept eyeing the area in the middle of the living room that had been cleared for a dance floor. Then ABBA's "Dancing Queen" came on and she was dragging Kurt and some other people to the middle of the open living room so they could dance. She looked so happy and carefree, it was beautiful.

As Rachel danced and laughed with her friends, she could feel someone watching her. She chanced a glance to where she knew Jesse and Isla were to see if it was Isla that was watching her, but instead of her eyes meeting Isla's, they met Jesse's.

Jesse looked away quickly and turned his attention back to the people he should be talking to. "Do you want to dance?" Isla asked.

"No, why?"

"You just keep staring at everyone dancing so I thought maybe you wanted to be out there too," she said pointedly, looking at the people dancing feet away. "Come on, let's dance." She grabbed his hand and tugged him to where Rachel and the small group were dancing.

Jesse was actually enjoying himself until he saw the way Isla kept looking at Rachel, like she wanted to pull Rachel's wig off and have a cat fight right in front of everyone. The more Rachel laughed and smiled, the dirtier the looks became that Isla was casting her way. Finally, Jesse had had enough and pulled Isla over to the bar to get a drink.

Deciding she didn't want a drink, Isla said, "I need some fresh air. I'm going outside for a minute." Jesse merely nodded and didn't even spare her a second glance as she walked out onto the terrace. Jesse stood at the bar and continued to watch Rachel dance. She said something to Kurt then disappeared down the hall.

"Where's the bathroom?" Jesse asked the bartender. The bartender pointed across the living room towards the hallway that Jesse had just seen Rachel disappear to. Jesse thanked him and took off in the opposite direction of the bar.

Seeing the closed door, Jesse walked over to it and knocked loudly on the door. "I'll be right out," came Rachel's voice from inside the bathroom.

On the other side of the door, Rachel grasped the edge of the bathroom counter taking deep breaths. She thought that she had been prepared to come face-to-face with Isla but obviously she had been wrong. She hadn't thought about how crushing it would feel to see them together. She was proud that she had managed to maintain her showface but she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to keep up the façade. A loud knock interrupted her thoughts again. "I said I'll be right out," she yelled in irritation.

"Rachel, I need to talk to you," Jesse called back.

Letting go of the sink she whirled to face the bathroom door, gripped the doorknob firmly and yanked the door open. "What do you want Jesse?" He pushed past her into the bathroom and shut the door behind them, locking it. "What are you doing?" she asked, turning to look at him.

"Is it true?" The way she had looked at him earlier and the fact that she had come to the party with Kurt and not Donovan, Jesse had dared to hope that perhaps her relationship with Donovan was over. Then when she had made the comment about the wedding date… he had to know.

"Is what true?"

"What you said about your wedding not being too far off? Is it true?" He felt the desperation and panic begin to rise in his chest.

"Yes," she blurted out. She didn't know why she said it, but now it was out there. She had just lied to Jesse. Granted it was a desperate move to try and protect her heart, but she had still just lied to his face.

"Then why isn't he here with you?" Jesse challenged.

"He was busy tonight," she lied, trying to push by him so she could get out of the confined space.

"So you're marrying him? Even after…" Jesse sighed as he went to run his hand through his hair like he usually did when he was frustrated only to remember that his hair was slicked back. So instead he clenched and unclenched his hand as he brought back down to his side.

"Why does it even matter?" she asked, stepping closer to him a fire in her eyes.

"Why does it matter, Rachel? Where did you think I was going with my little speech out there earlier? Did you think I wanted to get you alone so I could tell you that I'm staying with Isla?" His tone was accusatory.

Rachel's eyes widened as the meaning of his words finally registered with her. She couldn't form words as she looked at him turn away from her and turn the doorknob.

"I'm getting a divorce," he stated before opening the door and walking out of the bathroom leaving a dumbfounded Rachel standing in the open doorway.

She felt like she was glued to the spot, but finally her feet moved and she went after him. "Jesse," she called down the hall, running to catch up with him and grabbing his arm as he was just about to walk into the living room.

As he turned around, the pained expression on his face made her heart ache. "There's really nothing left to say, Rachel." Without another word, he pulled his arm from her grasp wanting to be anywhere but near her.

Rachel watched him walk away, tears welling in her eyes. She mentally kicked herself for being so stubborn and not just telling him the truth to begin with. But she couldn't help the feeling elation that washed over her knowing that he was getting a divorce. He was going to be free. They both were.

* * *

Unbeknownst to both Jesse and Rachel, Isla had watched their entire exchange from where she stood near the bar after she had come back inside. She had been right about the scene she had happened upon when she had first arrived and she had just witnessed what could only be described as a lover's quarrel.

She wanted to get the hell out of this apartment and away from all of these people, especially Rachel Berry. Jesse approached her with an angry look on his face. "I'm ready to go. Are you?"

"Yes," she replied, setting her partially drunk glass of wine on the bar. They both quickly said their good-byes to Edward and thanked him for the wonderful party then couldn't seem to get out of the apartment fast enough.

* * *

"I screwed up," Rachel said after she had pulled Kurt off to the side so she could talk to him.

"What'd you do?"

"I told Jesse that I'm still engaged to Donovan," she confessed, her eyes darting down to the floor to avoid her friend's disapproving glare.

"Yeah, I was going to ask you what in the hell that was all about out there when we were talking about your wedding dress."

"I panicked because the things that Jesse was saying, I thought he was going to tell me that he was staying with Isla. So…I was trying to protect my heart by not laying it out there for it to get stomped on," she explained.

"And…" Kurt prodded.

"And I was trying to save face," she admitted causing Kurt to nod knowingly. Ignoring his nod she continued, "But he told me before he left that he's getting divorced. I completely misread him which I _never_ do and now he's hurt because he thinks he's ending his marriage while I'm getting married to Donovan."

"You need to tell him the truth, Rachel," Kurt told her. "He deserves that."

"I know."

* * *

The cab ride home was completely silent. No radio, no talking. Just the sounds of the streets of New York as they headed downtown from Edward's apartment. The ride on the elevator up to their apartment was equally as silent until it dinged that they had reached their floor.

But the silence ended the moment the front door was closed and locked behind them. "Are you fucking her?" Isla asked angrily.

"Who?"

"You know who I'm talking about Jesse, Rachel fucking Berry. How long did it take before you fucked that whore?" she yelled, kicking her shoes off.

"She's not a whore," Jesse growled, blind rage bubbling just underneath the surface.

"No? Well, then what the hell would you call a women who jumps into bed with her married co-star after she just barely met him?" she yelled, crossing the room so they were only a couple of feet apart now.

He thought about what he wanted to say then dropped the bomb on her. "Rachel and I used to date back in high school."

"What?" she asked angrily.

"She was the first girl I ever loved," he confessed.

"Don't you think that's the sort of information that you should share with your _wife_? You never even mentioned her. _Ever_!"

"When you and I met, I didn't want to talk about her and she was out of my life so it didn't matter until we started working together. By then, it was too late. I wanted to tell you, I did. I know I should have told you but it's not like you would have cared anyways," Jesse spat, throwing his hands up in the air.

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Isla, you didn't care what the fuck I did for months and then you come back from Paris a 'changed' woman," he laughed humorlessly. "This marriage was over long before Rachel came back into my life. She was just the catalyst for me deciding to end it. I'm done."

"You're _done_?"

"Yeah, I'm done. I already called my lawyer to have him draw up the papers. I'm going to have him file them on Monday." He moved around her to walk into the bedroom to grab a bag and get some of his stuff together.

Isla stalked behind him into the bedroom. "If you think that I'm just going to sign those papers and make this easy for you and that bitch then you better think again."

Jesse ignored her and continued to pack some clothes in his bag. He knew that Isla wouldn't stop there. That wasn't how she fought. She would keep pushing because that's what she did. Keep pushing until she hit a nerve.

She walked over and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Does she know how you fucked me? You didn't seem to mind me so much that night." He moved away from her to grab some more clothes from the closet.

Then he stopped and turned around and looked at her. "Do you really want me to tell you about that night? When I got home and saw that you'd fallen asleep apparently waiting up for me, I remembered what it was like falling in love with you. And for a brief moment as we kissed and touched, I thought that maybe all wasn't lost for us, but when it was all over, all I could think about was Rachel. How I had betrayed her trust when I'd told her that I loved her." He walked over to her and leaned in closely. "I was so disgusted with myself that I had to wash you off of me. I don't love you. Hell, I don't even like you anymore."

Isla was speechless as Jesse walked back into the closet to finish packing. He grabbed a few more things quickly and threw them in his bag before zipping it closed. Isla never said a word to him until he had almost reached the front door.

"You did this," she said, her voice laced with venom. Jesse turned around, puzzled. "You can say that I was a terrible wife or whatever else you want to say, but _you_ ruined this marriage. Not me."

Jesse just shook his head as he turned around and walked out the front door. He had no idea where he was going to go, but anywhere was better than that apartment. If things were different between him and Rachel, then he would have gone to her apartment to stay with her. But they weren't so that was out of the question. He knew he could probably give Thomas a call and he would gladly let Jesse crash on his couch for a few days until he found his own place. Finally, he decided to just go stay at the Four Seasons for the night and he'd begin an apartment search the next day.

As he got into the elevator, he didn't even spare a glance back at what used to be his home.

* * *

"What do I do?" Rachel asked, pacing around her living room as Kurt sat on the couch looking up at her. "I have to tell him. I _need_ to tell him. Tonight."

"Can you please stop pacing? You're making me dizzy," Kurt said as he watched her continue to pace.

"Kurt! You're not helping!"

Getting up off the couch, Kurt walked over to Rachel and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Rachel, call him."

"You should have seen the look in his eyes, Kurt," she told him, her shoulders slumping. "I don't know if he'll even answer if I call him."

"Rach, he loves you. You know that and I know that. He'll answer. And he'll listen." He gave her a reassuring smile as he squeezed her shoulders and let her go. He walked over to the counter where her purse sat and dug her phone out of it. He held her phone out to her as he came back over to her. "Call him."

Rachel sighed and took the phone from his hand. Kissing Rachel on the cheek, Kurt moved around her and towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"Home. To spend some time with the man _I_ love," he explained with a smile. "You don't need me here to hold your hand." Nodding her head, she gave him a small wave as he opened the door. Then she was all alone in her apartment.

* * *

Jesse looked at his phone as it rang for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. It was Rachel again. He hit the ignore button and after about thirty seconds, he noticed that he had another voicemail. Sighing, he fell back on the bed with the phone still in his hand.

He just didn't get it. It didn't make sense that she would decide that she wanted to be with Donovan again when just a month ago she was telling him how she couldn't even kiss Donovan. Why would she want to commit her life to someone that she clearly didn't love?

He decided to listen to her voicemails. "Jesse, please pick up the phone. I really need to talk to you."

He hit the button to listen to the next one. "Jesse. Please call me back when you get this." The desperation in her voice made him ache.

He listened to the next one. "I'm not going to stop calling and texting you until you answer the phone."

The aggravation in her voice in the next one made him chuckle slightly when it began to play. "Jesse, stop sending me straight to voicemail. Answer the damn phone."

Finally the last one began to play. The irritation of the previous two messages gone from her voice. "Please talk to me. You can't drop a bomb on me like that and not talk to me. It's not fair. There's so much that needs to be said and I refuse to say it all to your voicemail. So keep ignoring my calls but I will keep calling you until you want to throw your phone against the wall out of pure annoyance if that's what it takes." His phone vibrated in his hand signaling that he had a text message. Looking at his phone he saw that it was from Rachel.

_I need to talk to you. Please. Just hear me out._

Once again, his phone rang. She was persistent, he'd give her that. Letting it ring a couple of times, he finally decided to answer it and talk to her. He didn't say anything as the line connected.

"Jesse?" Rachel's voice was tentative.

"You said you wanted to talk, so talk," he replied.

"I need to talk to you in person. Can you meet me somewhere?" she rushed out.

"I'm at the Four Seasons."

Rachel was stunned into silence. She knew that he hadn't been lying about divorcing Isla, but she hadn't realized that he would leave her so soon. Finally, she spoke, "O-okay, I'll meet you there. Where –"

"I'm in room 2910," he said answering her question before she could even ask it.

"I'll see you in a little bit." With that they both hung their phones up.

* * *

Jesse had fallen into a light sleep after he had hung up the phone with Rachel. A knock at the door interrupted his dreamless sleep. Rubbing his eyes, he looked at the clock on the bedside table to see that he'd only been asleep for about twenty minutes.

Getting up, he walked over to the door and gripped the handle. He took a deep breath before he swung the door open. They stood in silence for a moment just staring at one another. The look on Jesse's face made Rachel want to reach out and wrap him in her arms, but she didn't move from the spot she was standing in as she not-so-patiently waited for Jesse to ask her to come in.

"Am I going to have to stand in the hall all night?" she finally asked.

Jesse shook his head and opened the door wider and stepped to the side so she could come into the room. "Come in." She walked into the room and whirled around to face him as she came to a stop near the window that overlooked the city. "What are you doing here, Rachel? Don't you have a fiancé waiting for you at home?"

Rachel decided to come right out with it. "I lied to you, Jesse. I broke up with Donovan the night after I ended things with you."

Jesse just looked at her in disbelief, taking her words in. "Why would you do that? Why would you lie to me about something like that?"

"I was scared," she confessed, looking down at her hands unable to maintain eye contact.

"Scared about what, Rachel?" Jesse asked, stepping closer to her.

Tears began welling up in her eyes as she answered him. "That you wouldn't choose me again."

He moved close enough to reach out and touch her if he wanted to. "Again?" He was slightly confused, but then it dawned on him. "It wasn't that I didn't want to choose you all those years ago." Finally he touched her, wiping away the tears that had fallen down her face. "I will never the same stupid mistake again. I will always choose you. Always."

She looked up and smiled at him, the pad of his thumbs stroking her cheeks softly as he cupped her face in his hands. She gripped his wrists, wanting him to kiss her so badly. "I love you."

"You're the one for me, Rachel. You were the one for me when I was 18 and you'll be the one for me when I'm 88. I love you. I have _always_ loved you. I _will_ always love you." Then his lips were on hers in a heated kiss as they wrapped their arms around each other tightly, not able to get close enough. Rachel moaned into Jesse's mouth as his tongue caressed hers.

Rachel's back bumped the window as Jesse backed her up against it and brought his body flush against hers as they kissed each other breathless. He reached behind her and blindly felt for the zipper of the dress then his fingers deftly gripped the zipper and pulled it all the way down.

Jesse pulled back to look at Rachel, both of them trying to catch their breath. The urgency of just moments before gone as Jesse slowly pulled Rachel's dress off of her arms. "Little Orphan Annie has never looked so hot," he told her, his voice husky. He was rewarded with a flirtatious smile as she wriggled out of the dress, then hooked it with one foot and flung it out of the way. "God, I've missed you." His fingertips setting her skin on fire as he just simply touched every part of naked skin that his hands could reach.

"Why do I always end up with less clothes on than you," she teased as she gripped the hem of the t-shirt that he had changed into when he'd arrived at the hotel earlier and lifted it over his head.

"Because I'm stealthy that way," he quipped, leaning down to place a soft kiss in the crook of her neck.

Rachel gripped his now bare waist and pulled him closer to her, relishing the feel of his naked skin on hers. Jesse placed both of his hands flat on the window on either side of her head as she unbuttoned his pants. She pushed them down his hips as far she could before they fell to the floor. This time, it was Jesse who kicked his clothes off to the side of the room. Rachel hooked her leg over Jesse's hip, feeling his hardness as he ground his hips against hers slightly.

She let her head fall back against the window, gasping at the sensation. Jesse smiled at the reaction just a simple movement of his hips had caused Rachel to have, then he felt himself grow harder as he watched her face.

Regaining her composure a bit, she opened her eyes to look at Jesse. "This last month has been hell without you. Promise me we'll never be apart again."

He leaned his forehead against hers as their lips almost touched. "I promise. We'll be together always. No matter what," he reassured her. Rachel wasn't sure who closed the few inches between them but once again their mouths were fused together and there was no more taking things slow. She felt Jesse's hands slide behind her as he undid her bra and took it off of her then his hands were gliding down the sides of her body until they reached the edges of her panties before he slid those down her legs.

Rachel snaked her hands around his body before she slipped them beneath his boxers, squeezing his ass slightly before she too slid his underwear off of him. With all clothing barriers finally removed, Jesse picked Rachel up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She sank down onto him slowly and neither of them moved for a moment as they gazed at each other, their shallow breathing the only sound in the room.

"Love you," Rachel managed. Her two words broke whatever spell they had been under as they began to move. Their bodies moved rhythmically against each other. The cool of the window felt so good against Rachel's back as Jesse thrust up into her. She wrapped her arms even more tightly around his neck as she pulled his face closer to hers, their breath mixing together as their lips bumped slightly with each movement. Then their lips met once again as their tongues matched the sweet languorous movements of their bodies. Nothing had ever felt more right than the friction of their naked flesh with the ebb and flow of their lovemaking.

The tension in Rachel's body was almost too much to bear as she let her head fall back against the window and gave herself over to the release that she so craved. The sound of her cries of pleasure only made Jesse move faster and harder as he continued to thrust into her in an effort to join her. The feeling of her walls clenching around him as she continued to be rocked by her orgasm was enough to be his own undoing as he braced one hand on the window and held Rachel against him with the other, spilling inside of her.

Rachel lifted her head up and brought her mouth to his, kissing him deeply exploring his mouth with her tongue, craving the taste of him. Their tongues did an endless dance as Rachel crushed herself to Jesse, never wanting to let him go.

As soon as Jesse felt like he could stand fully on his own, he carried Rachel over to the bed, their mouths and bodies still one as they collapsed on top of it. Finally breaking the kiss and pulling out of her, they lay on their sides facing one another trying to catch their breath. "Is this really happening?" Rachel asked breathily, a hint of complete amazement in her voice.

Jesse brushed some of her hair back away from her face and brought his face inches from hers on the bed. "This is just the beginning," he told her, earning him the most perfect and beautiful smile he had ever seen. He was sure that his grin was as big as hers as it hit him that they were finally going to get their shot at their happily ever after.

Nothing was going to taint this moment for him as he managed to ignore the voice in the back of his head that told him that Isla was going to do whatever it took to delay his and Rachel's happily ever after.


	22. Chapter 22

Rachel lay under the covers of the hotel bed, resting her head next to Jesse's on the pillow while her arm and leg were draped over him possessively. She listened to the soothing sound of his steady breathing, willing herself to sleep but sleep just wouldn't come.

"Jesse, are you sleeping?" she asked softly, glancing up to see that his eyes were closed.

"Not yet," he answered her, opening his eyes to look at her.

"Have you thought about what our future together will be like?" she asked, moving her head back on the pillow so she could look him in the eyes.

"All the time," he told her, reaching up to caress the side of her face. "Have you?"

"In my dreams, every night, for the past month. It's always a different snapshot of us together," she said. "My last dream is the reason why I wanted you to know that I was no longer with Donovan."

"Must have been some dream," he replied, smiling warmly at her as he ran his fingertips up and down her arms slowly.

"It was our honeymoon," she confessed.

Jesse hand stopped its movement. "Honeymoon?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

She felt blood rush to her face as she blushed. "I-it was… just…" she stammered. "Not that I'm expecting us to get married as soon as your divorce is final or anything. I completely understand that you'd want to take some time before getting married again but–" she rushed out, until Jesse cut her off with a sweet kiss.

"Stop," he said, looking down at her. "Rach, I love you and want to be with you and I would marry you next week, hell tomorrow, if I could." Rachel reached up and ran her hands through his hair, her fingernails scraping along his scalp lightly. "So what was our honeymoon like?"

"Perfect," she told him as she looked up at him, still playing with the back of his hair.

"Is that all I'm going to get?" he asked as he lay back down on the pillow next to her. He took her hand in his and laced their fingers together. "Where'd we go? Did we have a lot of sex? Because I'm thinking we did."

"No." She narrowed her eyes at him playfully. "My dream was a day with you in Santorini."

"Ah, Greece. So is that where you want to go on our honeymoon?" he asked, a dreamy smile on his lips.

Rachel felt butterflies form in her stomach at his question. She knew it was silly seeing as just moments before he had told her that he would marry her tomorrow, but there was something about him asking her where she would want to go on their honeymoon that made it all just a little more real. "Maybe," she said, coyly.

"So what happened on our honeymoon?"

"It was a dream, Jesse, I can't remember it all," she replied, shoving her hand that was still in his towards him. "Although, I do remember you wanting to have sex with me when we were in the water with lots of other people around."

"Sounds like me," he laughed, winking at her flirtatiously. "So did we? Because I'm pretty sure I could talk you into it."

"No, we didn't. And no, you couldn't."

"Oh, I think I could." Once again he was hovering over her, she waited for him to tease her or touch her to prove his point but instead he just stared at her. Rachel felt her pulse quicken with the way he was looking at her.

"What?" she nearly whispered, an almost shy smile on her lips.

"You are so beautiful," he responded in a hushed tone.

Cupping his face in her hands, she leaned up and kissed his lips tenderly. She sighed as she lay her head back down on the pillow, her hair fanning out on it. Jesse reached out with one hand and caressed her face, running his fingertips over her lips.

"So tell me more about our dream honeymoon," he said softly before he placed a feather light kiss on each cheek. Rachel's eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. She felt his lips on her eyelids then on her forehead and finally on her lips. He rubbed his nose against hers affectionately causing Rachel to smile. She opened her eyes again as she felt him pull away.

"If you keep doing that, I'm going to forget what we're talking about."

"Am I distracting you Miss Berry?" he asked as he dipped his head and kissed her neck, his tongue darting out to taste her skin. "Do you still think I couldn't have persuaded you into having sex with me in that water?"

If Rachel had been about to give in to him, his last words made her even more determined. So she did her best to ignore the delicious sensations he was currently causing her to experience and focused on what she could remember of the dream. "Pictures," she blurted out.

Jesse stopped sucking on her neck and pulled back to look at her. "Pictures?" A look of utter confusion etched into his beautiful features.

"You kept taking pictures of us," she grinned up at him, biting her lower lip as she conjured up the images of her vivid dream. "It was like you wanted to capture every second of every moment we had together."

He noticed her smiled fade a bit as her eyes moved to focus on the view out of the window instead of on him. "What's wrong?" He cupped her face to try and get her to look at him again.

"It's nothing."

"It's obviously something. Tell me."

She finally looked back at him. "It bothers me that we don't have any pictures of the two of us together. Not of us onstage or anything to do with our show. Pictures of just…us. I mean, I know why we don't, but…"

"Well, we'll have to change that now, won't we?" Suddenly he rolled off of her and towards the nightstand where his phone lay.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked as she sat up to see him with his phone in his hand. He messed with it for a second then scooted next to her and wrapped his free arm around her, holding her close to him.

"What does it look like? Taking our picture together obviously," he replied, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Jesse, I have sex hair," she told him and giggled when she looked at him. "And so do you." She reached up and fixed his hair a little bit.

"Yes, we do and you look so fucking hot right now," he said. He leaned down to whisper something else in her ear. "Just looking at you is making me so hard. The sooner we take these pictures, then I can bury myself deep inside of you." Shivers of pleasure ran down Rachel's spine at his words. And then it was like he hadn't just whispered suggestive things in her ear, completely turning her on, as he said, "Smile for the camera." He held out his phone in front of them and they both grinned. They continued to pose for another picture and Rachel turned and kissed Jesse's cheek.

"Let me see." She tried to reach for his phone but he held it out of her reach.

"Wait a second. One more, only this time…" he trailed off as his lips found hers. Instinctively her eyes closed as she kissed him back only to hear the click of the phone to signal that a picture had been taken. He brought the phone between them so they could both look at the pictures they'd just taken.

Rachel sighed and grinned as he showed her the first picture then the second and finally the last one he had taken. "I think that's my favorite," she said, indicating the picture of the two of them kissing and getting a strange sense of déjà vu. "You know I'm going to need that on my phone too."

Jesse tossed his phone to the foot of the bed and grabbed Rachel, his hands covering hers as he pinned her underneath him and they lay across the pillows on the bed. "I might be willing to trade sexual favors for it."

"Oh, you'll get those for nothing," she teased, lacing her fingers through his as she rubbed her foot up and down the back of his leg.

"Now that's what I like to hear." He leaned down and pressed her into the pillows as his mouth covered hers in a deep kiss, his tongue languidly finding hers. He groaned as Rachel rubbed herself against him, letting him feel her wetness and how completely ready for him she was. Jesse rolled them over so that she was now pinning him to the bed.

Rachel broke their kiss and sat up with a lustful grin on her lips as she took him in her hand. She sank down on him fully, her eyes closing and her head falling back causing her hair to cascade down her back. She braced her hands behind her on his legs so she could lean back and have the perfect angle as she rode him.

Jesse watched Rachel's breasts rise and fall each time she rose up and down on him. It was almost hypnotizing. Finally, he gave into his baser need to touch her breasts and took one in each hand. He rubbed his palms against her already taut nipples which caused Rachel to quicken her movements and lean into his touch. The delicious friction it was creating was intoxicating.

"Oh, God, Jesse," Rachel moaned as he squeezed her breasts and teasingly pinched her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. The way that Rachel was savoring the feel of him inside of her, it was like they had been apart for years rather than weeks. She wanted to prolong the feeling for as long as possible as she felt the tension in her body increasing with every movement.

Jesse's hands roamed over the smooth skin of her body as he watched her ride him before they found their way to her hips. As she sank down on him again, he held her hips and thrust even deeper inside of her overly stimulated body. She leaned forward and placed her hands on Jesse's chest as her movements almost caused him to pull all the way out of her and then plunge right back inside of her deeply. Once again, Jesse had her breasts in his hands as he teased and tweaked her nipples.

"I love you," she rasped out as she looked down at him.

"Let go, baby," he encouraged as she let out a loud moan that echoed off the walls of the room, knowing that one more thrust would do him in completely. When she went to sink down on him again, he thrust up into her. Hard and deep.

Rachel and Jesse both cried out in release as she collapsed onto his chest. Her body felt like Jell-O as she lay on top of him, trembling with the aftershocks of her orgasm.

"Do you know how amazing you are?" Jesse asked, pulling her hair back from her face as she smiled up at him in response. Turning her head, she placed a kiss on the spot on his chest just above his heart then kissed her way up his neck until she reached his mouth. Jesse took her face in his hands and they locked eyes. "God, I love you, Rachel Berry." She sighed contentedly at his declaration before he brought her lips to his in a passionate kiss.

"This is happening, right? I'm not going to wake up in the morning to find that this was all some dream and I'm alone in my bed at home," Rachel said once they broke apart to catch their breath.

"Definitely not a dream." He wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Rachel awoke the next morning forgetting where she was for a moment as the bright morning light streamed through the window. Then she felt Jesse's arm wrapped around her waist as he held her to him and it all came rushing back to her. She slowly twisted in his arms and saw that he was still sleeping peacefully.

She realized that they could wake up just like this every morning now if they wanted to. As Rachel thought about it, it dawned on her that if they woke up like this every morning then they might as well be living together and it was way too soon for that. He had just left his wife and was going to be going through a possibly messy and lengthy divorce. The last thing they needed to do was to live together. Her happy mood started to fade a bit as she thought about the possibility of Isla dragging out the divorce purely to make life as difficult as possible for Jesse.

Desperately trying to rid herself of the unhappy thoughts, she nuzzled into Jesse and wrapped her arm tightly around his waist. Her movements woke Jesse as she felt him stir in her embrace and a light kiss was placed on top of her head.

"Morning," he said, his voice still raspy with sleep.

Rachel leaned back so she could look up at him. "Good morning." She loved how bright and crystal clear his eyes were even though he had just woken up moments before. "So I was thinking…" she paused for a moment.

"Uh huh," Jesse said with a little quirk of his mouth.

"That you should stay with me," she told him. Then she thought about how that sounded and added, "You know, just for a few days until you can find your own place. You shouldn't have to spend all this money on a hotel when there's a spot with your name on it next to me in my bed."

"How could I say no to that?" he asked, leaning down for a quick kiss. "Thank you."

"Jesse, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"I didn't want to ask last night because I didn't want to ruin the mood, but…what happened with you and Isla after you left the party? I'm sure she knows all about us now?" Rachel saw Jesse's features darken as he thought about the answer to her question. She almost wished that she wouldn't have asked about it. Almost.

"She knew something was up with me and you at the party so when we got back to the apartment the first words out of her mouth were her asking me if I was having an affair with you," Jesse explained, deciding it was best not to use the exact words that Isla had used. "That was when I told her about how you and I were together in high school and how you were the first girl that I ever loved."

"I'm sure she was angry," Rachel said, ducking her head slightly as she thought of how Donovan had reacted to that very same confession.

"Yeah, and she had a right to be angry about the fact that I never told her about you," he admitted. "I should've told her about you when we talked about exes when we first started dating but I didn't because I didn't want to share you or what I felt for you with her or anyone. You were mine and mine alone."

Rachel looked up at him sweetly as she felt her heart swell at his admission as to why he never told Isla about her or their relationship.

"Then I told her I wanted a divorce," he continued. "Needless to say, she didn't take that news too well."

"What did she say?" she asked, her morbid curiosity getting the better of her.

"That she was going to do everything in her power to drag out the divorce for as long as possible just out of spite."

"Will she do that?" Rachel was unable to hide the worry in her voice. What Jesse had just told her was one of her biggest fears in all of this.

"If there's one promise that Isla can keep, it's this. I ended our marriage effectively bruising her ego enough to where she will make me pay for it any way she can," Jesse explained. "She's vindictive that way."

"She's going to make our lives hell isn't she?" Rachel asked miserably.

Jesse wrapped his arms around Rachel, pulling her fully into his embrace. "She'll try, but as long we're together, Rachel, it doesn't matter. She can't take you away from me and that's the only way that she can really hurt me. We – you and me – can deal with everything that she might throw at us. Right?"

Rachel simply nodded, tears filling her eyes as the she thought of the difficult months that lay ahead of them. "Do you think she'll leak anything about us to the press?" she asked suddenly, panic rising in her chest at the thought.

"Honestly, Rach? I don't know. I'd like to say no because she would think it's too shameful for people to know that her husband had cheated on her and left her for another woman, but who knows what she's going to do." They sat in silence for a moment before Jesse spoke again. "What about Donovan? He has a new show to promote soon and he's fame hungry enough to do something like that. Have you talked to him?"

"Not since I broke up with him. He came by the apartment one day when I was gone and cleared out all of his stuff. I would hate to think that he would do something like that just to get his name in the press." She looked down as she twisted the edge of the down comforter between her fingers.

"Rachel, he's an asshole. I still don't know what you saw in that douchebag." Irritation colored his voice as he thought about Rachel's ex-fiancé.

"He wasn't always a jerk," Rachel replied, a little defensively. It wasn't that she wanted to defend Donovan because Jesse was right, he was an asshole but the guy that she had fallen for back in college wasn't the same guy that she knew now. "What about Isla? What made you want to be with a bitch like that?" she deflected as she saw the look on Jesse's face over her defense in her ever being with Donovan.

Rachel fully expected him to make a comment about how Isla had changed over the years, but that didn't happen. "Right now, I don't know what I ever saw in her. I don't think it's that she's changed, it's that I have. I never thought I was the type of guy that would settle for anything, but looking back on it, I can't help but wonder if I did."

She wasn't quite sure what to say to that.

"How about you and I order room service and go take a shower while we wait?" he asked, changing the subject. He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the room service menu, opening it so they could both look at it.

"I don't even need to see it. I'm in the mood for some pancakes. And fresh fruit," she told him, kissing his cheek before she started to scoot out of the bed. "I'm going to get in the shower." She stopped as she reached the edge of the bed and sat up, looking back at him. "Join me when you're done."

Jesse watched and admired her perfect, naked body as she padded towards the bathroom. He felt the blood rush to his groin as he thought about all the things he wanted to do to her body in that shower. Hearing the water turn on brought him out of his daydream and he quickly reached over for the phone.

In the bathroom, Rachel stood under the spray of water and let it soak her completely. She sighed at how good the hot water felt on her skin and muscles. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there when Jesse's hands encircled her waist and pulled her back to him.

"How long do we have?" she asked, feeling Jesse's hardening erection pressing into her lower back.

"They're busy so we have _at least_ thirty minutes," he said in a low voice that made the ache between her thighs almost unbearable.

She twisted around and stood on her tiptoes, bringing her lips close to his. "Plenty of time for a quickie then."

Jesse growled possessively as his lips descended onto hers in a hard kiss.

* * *

Rachel and Jesse were in their own little world as they rode in the back of the cab towards Rachel's apartment after the show later that night. "I could get used to this," Jesse said, sweeping her hair behind her ear gently.

"Get used to what?" she asked, legs draped over his as she leaned into his touch.

"Going home together night after night," he answered.

Rachel sighed happily. "Maybe there's a unit in my building that you can rent." As she thought about her suggestion she began to get excited.

"Are you sure you want me to be your neighbor?"

"Mm hmm," she murmured as she tilted her heads up toward him. "I would love it." She kissed him sweetly to emphasize her words. The car lurched to a stop, letting them know they had arrived at their destination. Jesse handed the driver the money and intertwined his fingers with Rachel's as she opened the door and got out of the car.

Rachel stepped onto the sidewalk as Jesse got out of the cab behind her and enveloped her in a hug. "I love you," he whispered in her ear. Pulling back slightly, she looked up at him and smiled before he lowered his head to kiss her.

As they broke apart and began to head towards the building's entrance, they were completely oblivious to anything or anyone around them. They were so enthralled with each other that they didn't even notice the person lurking in the shadows of the building watching them.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, they were lying in bed languorously making out when Jesse's phone chimed, alerting him that he had a text message. He groaned as he reluctantly broke their kiss and sat up to see who had sent him a text message at this hour. When he picked up his phone and hit the button to unlock the screen he saw a picture that made him freeze.

Rachel noticed the change in Jesse's demeanor as he looked at whatever it was that someone had sent him. "Jesse, what's wrong?" she asked, sitting up and gently laying a hand on his arm. "Who's it from?"

He looked at the picture that was clearly of him and Rachel kissing in front of her building before he read the text message that accompanied it.

_You really should learn to be more discreet. You never know who could be watching._

"It's from Isla," he told Rachel before he held out the phone for her to see the picture.

"What in the hell was she doing here?"

Jesse typed out a response to Isla. _Are you going to be stalking me now? How did you get this address anyways?_

"Jesse, why don't you just call her and talk to her?"

"Rachel, that's exactly what she wants me to do. I'm not going to give her what she wants." Jesse got out of the bed and headed to the kitchen with Rachel in tow as he waited for Isla to respond. He looked down at his phone as he heard it chime.

_You really need to change the password on your computer more often._

"What did she say?" Rachel asked as she took the glass of water she had just poured for herself and sat down on the couch.

"That she went through my shit to find out where you lived." He looked at his phone debating on whether or not he should respond to Isla or just ignore her. Before he had the chance to respond with anything he got another message from her.

_Let your whore know that I'll tell Donovan that she says hi. Sweet dreams._

Jesse's mouth gaped open as she read her message. "What the _fuck_?" He looked up to see the questioning look on Rachel's face as she waited to hear what the message had said. "It sounds like she's meeting with Donovan."

Rachel sat there for a moment, completely shell shocked by this new development. "I knew she was a bitch but I didn't know she was a psychotic bitch," Rachel said, her hands shaking. "What in the hell is she meeting with Donovan for?"

"I don't know what her game is," he replied with a shake of his head.

It suddenly dawned on Rachel what Isla might be up to. "She works for a magazine, Jesse."

"A _fashion_ magazine, not the _New York Post_."

"It doesn't matter. She somehow used the fact that she works at a magazine as a way to get in with Donovan. I don't know how, but she obviously did. She thinks she's found a way to destroy us," Rachel rushed out as Jesse came over and sat on the couch with her. "It looks like we have our answer to the question we had this morning."

Jesse followed Rachel's train of thought as he pulled her into his arms. "She's going to try to use Donovan to sell us out to the press."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I fully intended to post this Saturday, but when I went back and read the original ending I was not a fan so I had to go back and completely re-write it. Thank you to those of you that have either added this story to your favorites or to your story alerts. And a big thank you to those of you that leave reviews for me every chapter. It brings a smile to my face knowing what you think about the stuff my brain conjures up for St. Berry. As always, reviews are love so let me know what you think of this one. I'll do my best to take my sweet time getting the next chapter posted. :)


	23. Chapter 23

Rachel woke up the next morning to a heavenly smell wafting under the bedroom door from the kitchen. She lay in bed for a moment, stretching with a big smile on her face as she pictured Jesse in her kitchen making breakfast for her. Her smile faltered as she remembered what had happened with Isla the night before. Shaking her head as if to rid herself of the unwanted thoughts, she instead focused on the gorgeous man that was currently in her kitchen most likely standing in front of the stove looking incredibly sexy.

She had just slung her legs over the side of the bed to go join Jesse when her bedroom door opened to reveal a bare-chested Jesse with a tray of food in his hands.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he said as he walked over to her side of the bed. Setting the tray down carefully at the foot of the bed before walking over to her, he placed his hands on either side of Rachel on the bed and leaned down to plant a kiss on her lips. As was usually the case whenever their lips met, a simple peck was just never enough.

Rachel sighed and her lips parted only to feel the soft caress of Jesse's tongue on her own. She lay back on the bed and Jesse covered her body as they got lost in their kiss. As Jesse's lips left hers, a blissful smile spread across Rachel's face. "Mm, now that is how you say good morning," she told him. "You taste delicious, by the way."

"Fresh strawberries," he replied, pointing towards the tray that still sat at the foot of the bed.

"I can't believe you brought me breakfast in bed." She ran her hands through his hair before wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I wanted to something for you for letting me stay here for a little while," he explained, running his thumb over her bottom lip lightly. "Besides, I also kind of love you." His eyes danced in amusement as he grinned at her.

Rachel scoffed as she pushed at his chest and sat up. "Kind of?"

"Okay, maybe a lot." He winked at her as he went to pick up the tray of food and coffee.

"That's better." Tucking her legs back under the comforter, Rachel fluffed the pillows behind her and waited for Jesse to put the tray on her lap. She looked at the wonderful spread of fresh fruit, a large cheese omelet, buttered toast and bacon that was obviously enough for the both of them. Grabbing a slice of the bacon, she bit into it hungrily as Jesse slid into the bed next to her. She moaned in pleasure at the taste of it. "So good. I'm glad that I gave up being a vegan in college."

Wrapping his fingers around her wrist, Jesse brought the bacon to his mouth and took a large bite. "Mm, that is good," he agreed.

Rachel polished off the rest of the bacon that was in her hand before reaching for the steaming cup of coffee. She knew before even taking a sip that it was exactly how she liked it: two sugars and just a splash of cream. "Perfect," she remarked, after she had taken a sip. "I knew you more than 'kind of' loved me."

"I do." She felt his lips press softly against the crook of her neck before he took a slice of toast off of the plate. "So I was thinking that maybe we could find a song for us to sing together after our matinee show this afternoon."

"Oh my God, with everything that's been going on recently I've been so completely distracted that I nearly forgot about that. Do you know what song you're singing solo?" She took a bite of the omelet as she waited to hear Jesse's answer.

"I found it a few days after they asked me to do the cabaret," he replied, taking a sip of his own coffee.

"What song is it?" she asked eagerly, excited to hear what he had chosen.

He shook his head as he responded to her question. "Uh-uh, it's a surprise." Rachel looked up at him, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout. "God, you're cute when you pout." Instead of getting the answer that she had hoped her pout would get her, she got a quick peck from Jesse. "But no, you're not getting it out of me."

"Fine, then when I pick mine I won't tell you what I'm singing either," Rachel replied haughtily, snatching a strawberry from the bowl the fruit was in and popping it into her mouth.

Jesse smirked, knowing that his answer was going to infuriate her even more. "Good, I like surprises." He was right as she turned her head slightly and gave him a look of pure annoyance before she reached for her cup of coffee and finished the rest of it. Her reaction only caused Jesse to chuckle as he took a bite out of the omelet.

Rachel merely continued to eat the fruit in silence, going through a mental checklist of songs that she might like to sing. She did her best to ignore Jesse who she could see out of the corner of her eye was grinning at her.

He nudged her slightly with his shoulder as he leaned in closely. "Smile." She shook her head stubbornly in response as she continued to try to ignore him. "Smile." She felt his fingertips dance on her waist lightly as his lips brushed against the skin of her cheek. Unable to resist his charm, the sides of Rachel's lips quirked up in a smile.

She turned her head just enough so that their lips met. Rachel sighed as they broke apart, her forehead resting against Jesse's. "Don't think I'll always cave so easily to your charms," she told him, looking him in the eyes.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he replied with a disarming smile.

* * *

Rachel's phone rang while Jesse was in the shower and she was getting dressed so they could head over to the theatre in a little while. She looked down to see who it was and saw Kurt's name.

"I know you must be in some sex-filled, bliss bubble with Jesse or otherwise I would think that you wouldn't go nearly two days without calling your best friend and giving him the details. Am I right?" Kurt said, not even giving Rachel a chance to greet him.

Rachel giggled, amused by her friend's irritation. "I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday, but yes, Jesse and I are together. He's actually staying at my apartment for a little bit until he finds a place of his own," she explained.

"I'm hoping there's been a lot of makeup sex," he told her, the smile on his face evident in his voice.

"A _lot_ of fabulous makeup sex," Rachel replied with a satisfied sigh.

"So what happened after I left your apartment the other night?" Kurt asked, wanting more details on how she and Jesse ended up back together.

"Well, I didn't know where he was so I called him and he didn't answer, so I left a voicemail hoping that he would call me back. When he didn't I called him again and again and again. I sent text messages. Finally, he answered when I called him again." Now as she recounted the events of that night, she realized how her incessant calling and text messaging had bordered on slightly crazy.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Kurt chuckled slightly. "Did he answer the phone just to get you to stop calling?"

"I think so," Rachel answered. "However, my persistence paid off in the end and that was all that mattered."

"I take it he wasn't at home then?"

"Nope, he was at the Four Seasons and I met him at his room and explained everything to him. How I broke up with Donovan weeks ago and that I had lied to him because I was scared of getting hurt again." She paused for a moment as she remembered Jesse's words. "Then he reassured me that he would always choose me and I told him that I loved him and he said he loved me…" She trailed off, vivid memories of their lovemaking after that taking over her thoughts.

"And…" Kurt encouraged.

"And you don't want to know the rest of it."

He understood what she meant perfectly. "You're right, I don't. So any trouble with Jesse's soon-to-be ex?"

Rachel sighed before answering Kurt's question. "Apparently, she's been in some sort of contact with Donovan."

"Are you serious? Why would she do that?"

"The only thing I can think of is that she wants him to sell me and Jesse out to the press. That way she can save a little bit of face but still play the victim," Rachel mused.

"You should call Donovan," Kurt suggested much to Rachel's surprise.

"I don't know," she replied hesitantly.

"Rachel, maybe he'll tell you what she's up to. Maybe you can convince him to not leak a story to the Post."

Rachel looked up as Jesse walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He mouthed asking who was on the phone and Rachel mouthed back that she was talking to Kurt. "What makes you think I can convince him to do anything?" she responded to Kurt. "I broke off the engagement remember? I don't think he wants to talk to me."

"All I'm saying is that it's worth a shot. Sometimes people surprise you." Rachel sighed as she thought about the inevitably awkward conversation between her and Donovan if she did contact him. "Just think about it, okay?"

"Look, I have to go. I'll talk to you later."

"Alright. Tell Jesse I said hi," he replied.

"I will." And with that she hung up the phone.

"What's wrong?" Jesse asked as he slipped his shoes on.

"Kurt thinks I should call Donovan and see if I can get him to not go along with whatever Isla might have planned," she explained, walking over to stand in front of where he sat on the bed.

Jesse nodded his head in response as he mulled over what Kurt had suggested. "You know how I feel about Donovan, but I agree with Kurt." He stood up and stepped forward, placing his hands on her arms. "What can it hurt?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Gee, I don't know. Considering that we didn't end things on the best of terms, he might not be so keen on wanting to have a civil conversation with me." She shook off Jesse's hands. "You, of all people, should understand."

"Rach, I do but we can't just sit here and do nothing," Jesse replied, following Rachel out of the bedroom and into the living room. "If I thought that talking to Isla would do any good at all, then I would do it."

Rachel spun around to face him. "You know, maybe we deserve this. Some kind of karmic retribution for what we did to them. We had an affair. We were unfaithful. We betrayed them. Maybe this is just us getting what was coming to us."

"Don't say that. Yes, we did all those things, but we don't deserve to have our names run through the mud and for us to be tried by the court of public opinion." She just stood there looking at him helplessly so he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace. He placed a kiss on top of her head. "Will you at least see if he's willing to meet you?"

Rachel simply nodded her head in response.

* * *

Early that afternoon as Jesse was getting ready for the show, a knock came on his dressing room door. "Come in," he yelled. As the door opened, he turned and looked to see Thomas walk into his dressing room. "Hey," Jesse greeted.

"Hey yourself," Thomas replied, walking over to Jesse's couch and plopping down on it. "Since I didn't get the full rundown of what happened after the party the other night yesterday like you promised, I figured I'd try again today."

"Shit, I completely forgot. Rachel and I just wanted to get out of here after the show last night."

Thomas nodded his head. "That's understandable. So, spill."

Jesse recalled the events after the party for his friend in as much detail as he could remember until he got to the part where he and Rachel had completely made up.

"So are you staying at Rachel's?" Thomas asked with a slight smile.

"Yeah, but I'm going to look for my own place tomorrow. Until my divorce is final, it's best that we have our own apartments." Jesse tried not to think about how if things were different, that his apartment search the following day would be for both him and Rachel, not just him.

"Based on Isla's reaction, it sounds like it could possibly be awhile," Thomas remarked.

Jesse scoffed. "You have no idea. Get this, she was outside of Rachel's building last night and she sends me this." Jesse handed his friend his phone so he could look at the text messages.

Thomas looked at the picture and then the text messages that followed. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Who knew that I married such a crazy bitch, right?" Jesse took his phone back from his friend. "I just can't believe she's getting Rachel's ex involved in her vendetta to make my life hell."

"I just don't get it. Why in the fuck does she care all of a sudden?" Jesse just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in response to his friend's question. "I gotta be honest; I was convinced she was fucking around on you a long time ago."

"I thought so too at one point. All those late nights and business trips, it made sense but I never cared enough to find out." He thought about the truth in his statement. Maybe that's what the biggest problem in his marriage had been; he hadn't cared about her or their relationship for so long. "Now I just wish I had been smart enough to do this a long time ago."

"Better late than never, I say," Thomas told him, looking at his watch to see that it was almost time for them to convene for their pre-show stage meeting. "Come on or we'll be late."

He stood up and Jesse followed behind him to the hallway. Jesse thought about Thomas's last comment as they walked down the hallway towards the stage. While he agreed with Thomas and he recognized that hindsight was 20/20, he just wished that he would have followed the philosophy of 'sooner rather than later'.

* * *

Rachel's living room looked like a disaster area later that evening as she and Jesse tried to come up with a duet that they wanted to sing. Finished boxes of Chinese takeout sat on the coffee table while sheet music and CDs were scattered all around her living room floor and Jesse's iPod was in the dock playing yet another song.

"What about this song?" Jesse asked with a mischievous glint in his eye as he began to play 'Baby, Come to Me'. He knew Rachel would hate the completely cheesy 80s vibe of the song, but he wanted to hear what she would have to say.

Without even looking up from the sheet music she was currently rifling through, Rachel responded with an emphatic, "No."

"You won't even consider it? Come on, just keep an open mind." He tried to keep from laughing but couldn't stop the snicker that escaped his lips. "Alright, fine. I'll keep looking."

She found a piece of sheet music and looked at the title of the song. "'Let's Call the Whole Thing Off'," she blurted out.

"Huh?" Jesse looked up in confusion.

"The song," she replied, looking at Jesse like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "'Let's Call the Whole Thing Off', I think it could work for us. It's kind of flirty and we could play off our chemistry onstage."

"I like it," Jesse agreed before leaning over and giving Rachel a quick peck on the lips. "I say it we put it in the 'maybe' pile." Rachel nodded and placed it on the coffee table with a couple of other songs that they had thought they might like to do. "Okay, I have one." Jesse hit play on his iPod and 'Islands in the Stream' started playing.

Rachel smacked his leg. "Jesse, be serious," she reprimanded. "That song is not us and you know it."

"Rach, you have to see past what you're hearing. We can take these songs and make them our own," he explained. He actually thought that they could do a pretty fantastic version of 'Islands in the Stream' even if the original wasn't really their style.

"I'm putting 'Not While I'm Around' in the 'maybe' pile," Rachel told Jesse as she placed the sheet music with the other ones.

"Okay, but I have one that I think is a serious contender." He ignored the annoyed look that Rachel shot at him as she fully expected him to play a song that they would never sing in a million years. Instead she heard a very familiar song. "I happen to know we would be amazing singing this song since I seem to recall we did an impromptu version of it at Carnegie Hall awhile back."

"You're right. 'Both Sides Now' is definitely in the 'maybe' pile," she said, smiling at him.

Jesse went back to his playlist and scrolled through the artists slowly, a smile lighting up his face as he remembered a song that he had always loved that wasn't actually a duet originally but could easily be turned into one. "I think I may have found the one." Rachel looked up at him and waited for him to continue or play the song. Jesse hit the screen and Adele's 'One and Only' began playing.

"I used to listen to that album non-stop back in high school. God, I forgot how much I love this song." She closed her eyes as she listened to the words and imagined her and Jesse's voices blending together with harmonies on the chorus and alternating verses. It had the potential to be magical.

"What do you think? Top of the list?" Rachel nodded her agreement. "So how many songs is that?" Jesse asked, searching his iPod for a particular playlist.

"With the four we just added plus 'You Don't Bring Me Flowers' and 'Stop, Dragging My Heart Around', that's six." She had just picked up more sheet music to continue to search for more songs when she felt Jesse's hand rest on top of hers lowering it back down to the floor. "What?"

"Dance with me," he said, taking the sheet music out of her hand.

"We still have to find more songs and then narrow them down. We need to focus on the task at hand," she told him, beginning to reach for the sheet music that he had laid down on the floor moments before.

He grabbed both of her hands before she could pick up the sheet music and pulled her up off of the floor with him. "Our song is one of the six that we've already selected. We don't need to look for anymore. Trust me." Rachel didn't protest anymore and instead melted into his arms as they began to sway slowly to Coldplay's 'The Scientist' in the middle of her living room, not caring that they were stepping on the sheet music that was scattered on the floor. "I just want to dance with the woman I love," Jesse nearly whispered into her ear as he pulled her hand into his chest and held it over his heart.

Rachel closed her eyes and rested her head on Jesse's chest, completely content and happy to be wrapped in his arms. Then he began to sing softly to her – _But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me/Oh and I rush to the start –_ and Rachel realized that it was simple moments like that moment that she never wanted to end.

She hadn't even realized that a new song had begun a couple of minutes later until Jesse said, "I think you should sing this at the cabaret if you haven't chosen a song yet." Rachel knew that she recognized the song based on the opening guitar chords, but then Beyoncé started singing and she knew exactly what it was. "You would absolutely kill '1+1'."

"I'll think about it," she told him, looking up at him as she wrapped both of her arms tightly around his waist as they continued to sway to the music.

Jesse cupped her face in his hands and leaned down to claim her lips with his own in a long and lingering kiss. As they got lost in each other, their movements came to a halt and they were no longer dancing as Jesse backed Rachel towards the couch a few feet away. Lips still fused together, Rachel lay down on the couch and welcomed the weight and feel of Jesse's body on her own as he lay on top of her.

As soon as Jesse's lips left her own, she immediately missed the sensation until he found _the_ spot on her neck that he had managed to find all those years ago when they had been teenagers. His hand snaked under her sweater and into her bra causing Rachel to gasp as he teased her nipple with his fingers and she felt his lips, teeth and tongue on her skin. She was in sensory overload and it was absolutely heavenly. She was still amazed that no man in her entire life had ever been able to make her feel the things that Jesse could. Others had tried, but Jesse knew exactly how and where to touch her like he was made just for her.

The words of the song hit her so hard that she almost felt like the wind had been knocked out of her as he continued to touch her and almost worship her body. "Jesse," she said, trying to get his attention. Grabbing Jesse's head in her hands, he unlatched from the spot on her neck that would surely bear his mark tomorrow and pulled back to look at her.

"What?" he asked before he rubbed his nose back and forth across hers affectionately then pulled back again. His thumb rubbed back and forth over her nipple absentmindedly mimicking his movements from moments before.

"Put the song on repeat," she told him.

Taking his hand out from under her shirt, Jesse reached over to the coffee table for the remote control and hit the repeat button, before he turned his attention back to the breathtaking woman who was currently underneath him. "Better?"

"Much," Rachel smiled and raised her head off of the couch just a few inches to press her lips against Jesse's before she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly to get as close to him as possible. Rachel plunged her tongue into Jesse's mouth as he pressed her into the arm cushion of the couch. His fingertips ghosted across the exposed skin between her sweater and skirt, before his hand found its way to the small of her back to hold her lower body fully against his.

As she felt the effects that their makeout session was having on Jesse press against her abdomen, Rachel spread her legs even more and tried to reposition herself in an effort to feel his hardness on her center. She finally draped one of her legs over his hip so she could create delicious friction between their bodies. Jesse rocked his hips against hers and was rewarded with a deep moan from her that he felt in his own chest.

Rachel whined as Jesse broke their kiss, but was soon whimpering in anticipation as Jesse slid down her body and ran his hands up her thighs only to hook his fingers in her panties to pull them completely off of her. She watched through a lust-filled haze as he held one of her legs in his hand and kissed the inside of her calf only to make his way up to her knee then finally to the soft skin of her inner thigh. Then he grabbed her other leg and made the same trail with his lips on the inside of it. Finally he hooked both of her legs over his shoulders and he licked and suckled his way ever closer to the place she so desperately wanted him to touch her.

Slowly he lowered his head and Rachel could feel his hot breath on her skin. She buried her fingers in his hair and arched against him as his tongue parted her flesh. Her moans and cries of pleasure made him grow almost unbearably hard as he laved at her nub in long, languid strokes.

Several times Rachel was sure that the wonderful things that he was doing to her with his mouth and fingers were going to send her over the edge, only for Jesse to draw out the exquisite torture by momentarily halting his ministrations to let her once again gain control. She looked down and locked eyes with him as he dipped his tongue inside of her causing her body to start to tremble with her impending orgasm as she felt his fingers begin to tease her again.

Jesse watched as Rachel threw her head back against the couch again and started panting heavily. He could feel the beginnings of her orgasm, but this time there was no more drawing it out as he increased the pace and the pressure of his movements. Before long Rachel was screaming out his name as he brought her sweet release.

She looked down at smiled as Jesse removed her legs from his shoulders and made his way back up her body. Sometimes it frightened her how much she loved this man, but it was moments like this where she saw a look in his eyes that told her that he loved her just as much, if not more. Hearing the lyrics of the song, Rachel mimicked them as she wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck. "Make love to me," she whispered against his lips.

* * *

On the floor of Rachel's bedroom, Rachel's phone buzzed silently in her purse with a text message.

_Just got your voicemail from earlier. We can grab lunch or coffee sometime this week especially since I know exactly why you're calling. We definitely need to talk._

It was from Donovan.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the bit of a cliffhanger guys. I just wanted to kind of give you an idea of where the next chapter is headed. And you know, I don't know what it is about St. Berry but I just can't help writing smut with them. LOL I hope you guys liked this chapter. Once again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed (and all the new alerts and favorites). The review alert brings a smile to my face every time I see leave me some feedback and let me know what you thought of this chapter.


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note: **So I stayed up extra late just to get this posted before I go to the Caribbean on vacation tomorrow. :) I already have the next chapter planned out and if I want something to do at the beach then I may just write some of the next chapter. Thank you guys for all of your awesome reviews b/c they really do make me happy and they make me want to write more. I'm hoping to come back from vacation to lots of reviews for this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

Rachel and Jesse had just walked out the door of her apartment to start Jesse's apartment hunt the next day when Rachel remembered that she hadn't checked her phone since the night before. Not that she would have had the opportunity seeing as she and Jesse had been pre-occupied with _other_ things. Suddenly her thoughts were filled with vivid memories of Jesse's lips on her skin, her nails digging into his back, the feel of him sliding in and out of her. She felt a blush creep up her cheeks despite it being only her and Jesse in the elevator as she did her best to think of other things, non-sexual things. Like apartments.

Pulling her phone out of her purse she saw that she had a text from Donovan. When she had called him the day before, she hadn't expected him to get back to her so soon. And now it looked as though he wanted to meet up for lunch sometime during the week. She thought that she would have a couple of weeks to prepare for what was sure to be a completely awkward meeting at best, not a couple of days.

Jesse noticed Rachel looking at her phone and asked, "Did Kurt text you?"

She looked up at him with a blank expression on her face. "Donovan."

"So he called you back that quickly? That's gotta be a good sign, right?" He knew this meeting with Donovan was going to be hard for Rachel, but they needed to know if they should be prepared for some massive public fallout in the near future because of Isla's scheming.

"I guess," Rachel answered, unsure of what it all meant. She stuffed her phone back in her purse deciding to wait to respond to him later in the day.

Jesse could tell that she didn't want to discuss it anymore, so he didn't say anything further and instead slid his hand down her forearm to take her hand in his. He gave it a small squeeze before the elevator dinged and the doors opened into the lobby.

Once outside, they stood on the sidewalk and waited while the doorman for Rachel's building hailed them a cab so they could meet Jesse's real estate agent. Rachel breathed in the cool, crisp early November air and leaned back into Jesse, who wrapped his arms around her. There was something so perfect about New York in the fall but most especially in November. Rachel wasn't sure if the reason it was almost magical to her was because it signaled that the holiday season was fast approaching but there was just something in the air that made her love this time of year.

As they slid into the back of the cab a few minutes later, Jesse gave the cab driver an address on the Upper West Side. She had figured that Jesse would want to stay in his current neighborhood but based on the first place they were going to see, he was looking for a change. "You know that I want your honest opinion on every place we see today," Jesse said, breaking her out of her thoughts. "It's important to me that you like it as much as I do."

"Of course I'll tell you what I think, but it's your place," she replied.

His response made her heart skip a beat. "For now."

* * *

Jesse smiled as he saw Rachel's eyes widen noticeably as they walked into the lobby of the first building that they were going to look at an apartment in that was currently on the market. He saw his real estate agent, Veronica, sitting in a chair near one of the fireplaces in the large, elegant limestone and marble open space.

A smile brightened the older woman's face as she recognized Jesse. "Jesse, it's so good to see you again," she greeted, sticking her hand out to shake his.

"Veronica, this is Rachel," he introduced, intentionally keeping it vague as to what Rachel was to him.

Rachel reached out and shook the real estate agent's hand, noting that the woman seemed to fit perfectly in the elegant surroundings of the building's lobby with her tailored black suit and perfectly coifed silver bob.

"Are you guys ready to go up and see the first place we're going to be looking at today?" the older woman asked as she gestured towards the elevator. Both Jesse and Rachel voiced their agreement and followed her to the elevators. Once inside the elevator, she hit '20' and turned to Jesse and Rachel to give them more information on the building and the apartment they were about to see.

As they walked into the apartment moments later, Rachel did her best not to fall in love immediately with the openness of the living area, her favorite thing about her current apartment. But the thing that this apartment had that her apartment did not was an amazing view. She was in complete awe as she left Jesse's side to walk over to the windows and look at the view of the city that was laid out in front of her.

The late fall colors of the Park with the skyline of the Upper East Side as a beautiful backdrop. It was absolutely breathtaking. She walked over to the fireplace and ran her hand along the mantle before she wandered around the apartment on her own while Jesse and Veronica continued to talk in the living room. The first room she came across and poked her head into was clearly the second bedroom based on its smaller size and the fact that there was no en suite bathroom, so Rachel continued down to the end of the hall glancing at the guest bathroom as she walked by it and stopped in the doorway to the master bedroom.

Spinning around in a circle as she entered the room, she tried to visualize a big bed in the room. As she pictured furniture in the room, images of her and Jesse lying in bed and being lazy on their day off were so vivid that it was almost like they were actual memories. When she finally stood where she imagined their bed would be, she gazed out the window and sighed at the thought of not only waking up to a dream view of her favorite city in the entire world every single day, but waking up to that view with Jesse by her side.

"I see you've found the master," Veronica said to Rachel as she and Jesse walked into the room. Rachel smiled at them, walking over to Jesse and sliding her hand into his.

"It's a beautiful apartment," Rachel commented, her eyes appraising the room once more.

Veronica nodded her agreement and gestured for Jesse and Rachel to follow her into the master bathroom. Much like the rest of the apartment, Rachel thought the marble bathroom was gorgeous. Veronica continued to give them the grand tour of the apartment until they finally finished in the kitchen. Rachel wanted to find something to nitpick but there was nothing. She absolutely loved it, but she knew that she needed to keep an open mind because they had plenty of other places that they were going to look at.

"So what do you think?" Veronica asked the both of them.

"I definitely want to look at some other apartments just to keep my options open, but I could definitely see us living here," Jesse answered, his arm wrapped around Rachel's waist.

And there he went again talking about them living together. Rachel knew that he meant in the future and tried not to get ahead of herself and envision them living in the apartment together by Christmas, but she just couldn't stop the thoughts from taking over. How could she not be excited by the fact that Jesse was clearly planning a future where they could build a life together?

* * *

Half of the day was spent looking at various apartments on the Upper West Side, but the latter part of the afternoon saw the three of them on the Upper East Side. Rachel was still shocked by the apartments that they had seen. She may not have been a New York real estate expert but she knew that every place they had looked at that day was at least a couple million dollars.

Yes, they were both currently in a very successful Broadway show and Jesse had been in a few before this one and was getting paid well to do the show, but she wasn't sure exactly how he would be able to afford a place as expensive as the ones they were currently looking at.

As the car pulled up outside of the last building that they were going to see for the day, Rachel decided not to worry about how Jesse, and by extension she, would afford these apartments because she had fallen in love with the first apartment that they had seen and she had a feeling that she was about to fall in love with this one as well.

Unexpectedly when they had arrived upstairs, Veronica merely unlocked the apartment but didn't walk inside like she had all of the others. "I want you guys to go in and just see the apartment for yourselves," she explained with a warm smile.

Rachel smiled up at Jesse as she turned the doorknob and tugged him into the apartment behind her. "Oh, Jesse," Rachel breathed out as she saw the apartment in front of her. The chocolate-stained wood floors, the built-in bookshelves on one of the walls, the floor-to-ceiling windows that let the late afternoon light pour into the apartment. Much like the first apartment they had seen, this one was also completely open with the living room and dining room.

While Jesse headed for the kitchen, Rachel made her way towards the bedrooms. Finding the master bedroom, Rachel walked over to the windows and gazed out at the expansive view of the city in front of her. After every apartment they had looked at throughout the day, Rachel had compared them to the very first one they had seen on the Upper West Side. She couldn't stop herself from making the comparisons again and imagining their life together in this apartment.

Unbidden, an image of a curly, dark-haired little girl running through the bedroom and over to the window overwhelmed Rachel. Her heart ached as she thought of having a family with Jesse and raising children with him in this apartment. Jesse's hands snaking around her waist from behind startled Rachel out of her daydream.

"So what do you think?" he asked his lips against her temple. "Is this our future home?"

"I'm so torn. I love this one and the first one. This one feels a little bit cozier, but the views in the first one were just so incredible," she replied, leaning back into his embrace and resting her head on his chest. "What about you?"

"I was leaning heavily towards the first one, but there's just something about this place." Rachel wasn't even sure he realized what he was doing as he rubbed his hand in slow circles over her flat belly, almost like he was imagining a small bump beneath her sweater.

"Jesse, as much as I love all of the places that we looked at today aren't they a little expensive?" She turned in his arms so that she could look him in the eyes. "There are plenty of more affordable apartments downtown that I'm sure are extremely nice."

"Rach, if I couldn't afford these places, I wouldn't be looking at them," he reassured her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"But how?" she asked. They had never really discussed how much they were both making from the show, but now she was really curious.

"I'm doing well for myself," he told her cryptically. Rachel gave him a look that she needed more than that so he continued. "My generous yet neglectful parents also set up a trust fund for me years ago, but I refused to touch it when I turned eighteen and the money has just been sitting there untouched for years."

"But won't Isla want some of your money in the divorce settlement?" Worry colored her features as she looked up at Jesse.

"My dad actually gave me some good advice before I got married and I had Isla sign a pre-nup," Jesse explained, assuaging any fears that Rachel might have had about Isla trying to take his money on top of a potentially nasty divorce.

Just then they heard the front door open and Veronica call out their names. They walked out into the living room hand-in-hand, the older woman smiling at them knowingly. "Does this one rank at the top with the first one we saw today?" Veronica asked them both.

"It does, but I think we might need a little bit to think about it," Jesse answered for both he and Rachel giving her hand a squeeze. He looked down at Rachel for confirmation. "Right?" He fought the urge to plant a kiss on her lips as she beamed up at him and nodded.

Rachel felt her phone vibrate as it rang in her purse, so she excused herself as Jesse continued to talk to Veronica. "Hey Kurt," she said as she walked into the empty master bedroom.

"Hey yourself," he teased good-naturedly. "So Daniel and I were just sitting here talking and he suggested that we have you and Jesse over for dinner next Sunday night. We would invite you over sometime this week but my ass is sound asleep in bed by the time you guys are done with your show so…"

Rachel giggled before responding to Kurt. "I'll talk to Jesse but I know that he'll be fine with it so plan on us next Sunday night for dinner."

She heard Kurt tell Daniel that they were on for the following Sunday before he spoke to her again. "So what have you guys been up to today? Holed up in your apartment having Naked Monday?"

_Now that is an idea that I may have to use in the near future_, Rachel thought. "No, we've been looking at apartments all day. We're actually looking at our last one right now."

"Ooh, do tell," he said excitedly. "Where exactly might these apartments be?"

"A few on Central Park West and now we're on the Upper East Side," she told her best friend.

"So cheap dumps, huh?" he quipped which made Rachel smile. "I didn't realize that Jesse had that kind of money."

Rachel turned and looked at the bedroom door just to make sure she was truly alone before she lowered her voice and responded to Kurt. "I knew his parents were rich. I mean, you don't winter in Bali year-after-year without being wealthy but apparently he has a trust fund that he's never touched." She knew Kurt's mouth was gaping open in astonishment and what his response would be before he spoke.

"How can someone have a trust fund and _not_ use it? Especially when you're living in New York? Doesn't he own his old place with Isla?"

"They bought that place together with their own money. You know, he doesn't have the best relationship with his parents. For crying out loud, they couldn't even be bothered to come to our opening night performance. So I can understand why he didn't want to use the money they gave him," she replied in a hushed tone.

"Well, I guess if he's going to use some the money, it might as well be to buy an awesome apartment," Kurt sighed, thinking about the apartments that Jesse and Rachel must have looked at throughout the day. Suddenly, he remembered their conversation from the day before. "Did you call Donovan?" he blurted out.

"Yes, and he actually sent me a text last night that we need to meet this week," she replied.

"So have you called him back?"

"Not yet," Rachel told him weakly. She knew he was about to lecture her for avoiding Donovan.

His voice was stern as he responded to her. "Rachel, it's not just going to go away. You need to call him back and tell him that you'll meet him for lunch. This is yours and Jesse's careers on the line _and_ your reputations. Do you want Isla to win?"

"No," she told him emphatically.

"Then I'm hanging up now and you are going to call him or text him back," he said, bossily. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." Then just as promised he hung up the phone.

Rachel looked down at her phone and opted for the easier option, a text message. _Lunch tomorrow at 12:30?_ Her finger hung over the screen on her phone for a second before she hit it. As she left the bedroom to go join Jesse and Veronica in the living room, her phone vibrated signaling a new text message.

_We can meet at the diner around the corner from the apartment._

* * *

"Where are you headed to?" Rachel asked Jesse the next morning as she was getting dressed so she could meet Donovan for lunch.

"I have to meet with some musicians for the cabaret," he replied, giving her a peck on the lips. "I'll meet you here after lunch before we head over to the theatre later." She gave him a nod, a nervous expression on her face. "Rach, it'll be fine. I love you." He kissed her again before he grabbed his leather jacket off of the bed and headed out the door.

Rachel took a deep breath as she looked into the mirror. "You can do this, Rachel," she said to herself.

Forty-five minutes later as she walked into the small diner, she felt less confident than she had back in her apartment. Glancing around at the tables she looked for Donovan but didn't see him anywhere so she decided to get a table and wait for him. She didn't have to wait long as he walked through the door as soon as she sat down. Not sure if she should smile in greeting, Rachel opted for a simple wave as Donovan headed towards the table she was sitting at.

"Hi Rachel," he greeted her before she could say anything.

"Hi, thanks for meeting me," Rachel replied, unsure of what else to say. There was an awkward silence that fell over the two of them before Rachel decided she should just get straight to the point. "You know why I wanted to meet with you, right?"

"Because I met with Jesse's wife the other day."

She needed to know, so she figured the best thing to do would be to just to ask if her suspicions of Isla's motives were correct. "Did she tell you to go to the Post about me and Jesse? Or any other newspaper or magazine?" The expression on his face was unreadable as he listened to her question.

"She might've," he replied, glancing down at the menu in front of him before motioning the waitress over. It took everything in Rachel not to yell at him to just fucking tell her what she wanted to know, but she figured that probably wasn't the best idea. So instead she fixed him with an irritated look as he ordered something to drink from the waitress.

The waitress turned to Rachel then. "Just a water, thanks." As the waitress walked away, Rachel waited for Donovan to continue.

Sighing, he rested his elbows on the table before he answered Rachel. "Look, she called me up out of the blue on Saturday. I didn't even know who in the hell she was until she told me that she was Jesse St. James's wife. She wanted to know if I could meet with her yesterday because she needed to talk to me and I told her yes, so we met for coffee," he told Rachel. "I figured she had suspicions about you and Jesse and wanted me to confirm them for her, but it turns out that Jesse had confessed everything to her a couple of days before."

"So did she tell you what she wanted from you?"

"She tried to sell me on the idea that by telling the press about how the stars of the new and extremely popular Broadway show had wronged me and had an affair. That I was left broken-hearted but was picking up the pieces day-by-day and that my new Broadway family was helping me." He paused, smiling at her ruefully. "Of course, she tried to convince me that it would only help me and the production in the long run because people would feel sympathetic and would be intrigued by the real-life drama."

Rachel felt her mouth go dry as she listened to Donovan, and was grateful for the water that the waitress set in front of her as she gulped it down. She did her best not to let the panic set in before she asked Donovan the question that she desperately needed the answer to. "So…what did you tell her?" For a brief second, Rachel saw something akin to hurt and disappointment flash across Donovan's face before it was gone again.

"I told her I wasn't interested," he replied matter-of-factly as though Rachel should've known the answer to her own question all along. Before he could continue, the waitress interrupted their conversation to take their orders, so Rachel had the chance to really digest what her ex had just told her. After the woman walked away, Donovan continued. "I know when you broke up with me I was pissed, but I would never do that to you. I may be a lot of things but I would never want to use our past as a way for me to get ahead in my career."

Hearing everything Donovan was saying, Rachel was actually surprised by his response. She did her best to not let the shock she felt show but she knew she wasn't entirely successful. Finally, Rachel spoke. "But I hurt you."

"My pride, yes," he admitted. "But you were right. We were over a long time ago, it was just…" He searched for the right word.

"Familiar," Rachel offered.

"Yeah." He took a deep breath before continuing. "That doesn't mean that I'm okay with the fact that you cheated on me, but if Jesse's wife wants you and Jesse to be all over the gossip pages then she's going to have to do it herself."

Rachel pondered what Donovan had said. She wasn't sure what else to say other than "Thank you." The rest of their lunch was spent discussing a very neutral topic, Broadway. It wasn't extremely comfortable but Rachel was grateful that they were able to be civil and almost friendly. Maybe one day, they might actually be friends.

* * *

The moment that Jesse and Rachel walked into Kurt and Daniel's apartment the following Sunday evening, Kurt handed them both a large glass of red wine. "Kurt, you know, you could let them actually take their jackets off first," Daniel admonished with an easy smile.

"But we are celebrating," Kurt said, handing a glass to Daniel as well. Daniel just looked at his partner quizzically. "The fact that Rachel and Jesse won't have to deal with any bad press because Donovan isn't as big of a douchebag as we always thought he was."

They all laughed as they clanked their glasses together before taking generous sips of the wine. "Well, we still have to worry about I–" Rachel said, but Kurt cut her off before she could finish the name.

"Uh-uh, there will be no saying that name in this house tonight. Got it?" Rachel and Jesse both nodded in agreement as they both set their wine glasses down to take off their jackets. Rachel had just started to remove her jacket when she felt Jesse's hands tug it gently down her arms. She turned her head to smile at him before he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and then proceeded to take off his own jacket.

"I'll take those," Daniel offered, holding out his hands for the garments in Jesse's hands. Jesse thanked him as he sat down on the couch next to Rachel, wrapping his arm around his girlfriend as she leaned back against him.

"So have you decided on an apartment yet?" Kurt asked, sitting down on the loveseat cattycorner to Jesse and Rachel. Before they could respond to his question he added, "You know, I could always go look at your top two if you're having a hard time deciding."

Jesse chuckled at Kurt's eagerness. "I love them both so I'm leaving the decision to Rachel."

This was the first that Rachel was hearing of that. "What?"

"Central Park West or Upper East Side, such a tough decision," Kurt teased noticing the look on his best friend's face.

"It is hard, Kurt," Rachel retorted, her brow furrowed as she thought about both places.

"Rach, you don't have to make a decision now," Jesse laughed, noticing the look on her face. "So how's work Kurt?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Hectic, we're working on our new line and there's a big industry party next week that we had to design a couple of unique pieces for," Kurt answered, his face lighting up as he talked about his passion. Jesse felt Rachel relax against him as she took a large sip of her wine and listened to Kurt rather than think about the apartment decision.

For the next few hours, the two couples sat around just talking, eating and drinking. It was almost like they had been getting together for dinner every Sunday night for years. Looking up at the kitchen counter, Jesse noticed that they had gone through nearly three bottles and judging by the way Rachel was slurring her words, he was convinced that she had maybe had an entire bottle on her own.

"I think we should probably head home," Jesse said to the small group as they sat on the couch. "I need to get her in bed."

Rachel giggled at what he had said, rubbing her hand back and forth across his chest. "We're gonna have sex," she slurred out happily. "We have lots of sex." Kurt and Daniel looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

Jesse chuckled along with them. "And that's our cue." He stood pulling her up with him gently before wrapping his arm around her waist. "Thanks for dinner you guys. We'll have to do this more often."

"You can invite us over to your new apartment when you figure out where that is," Kurt replied as he stood up to grab Rachel's purse off of the counter. Daniel went to grab their jackets out of the bedroom so they could get going.

Jesse held Rachel's jacket out so she could slide her arms in before he put his own jacket on. Rachel flung her arms around Daniel then Kurt. "I love you guys!"

"We love you too," Kurt said, kissing Rachel on the cheek before releasing her from his embrace.

* * *

The moment that Jesse finished giving the cab driver the address to Rachel's apartment, he felt her lips latch onto his neck and the warm, wetness of her tongue on his skin. He threaded his fingers through her hair, lightly massaging her scalp as he enjoyed the attention that she was lavishing on his neck. It was all innocent enough until Rachel's hand began messaging the growing bulge in his jeans. "Rach," Jesse said, placing his hand on her wrist to stop her movements.

She detached herself from his neck and pulled back to grin up at him mischievously. The next thing Jesse knew, she was straddling him and her lips were on his in an open-mouthed kiss. "I want to fuck you right now," she whispered, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. To emphasize her point, she ground her hips against his.

Jesse did his best not to groan at the sensation before he placed his hands firmly on her hips before she could move again. "Rach, the cab driver can see everything we're doing right now," he whispered back, looking over her shoulder to glance at the driver who darted his eyes away from them in the rear view mirror.

"Let him watch if he wants," she replied, darting her tongue out to lick his lips playfully. Jesse knew that if she wasn't as drunk as she was, she wouldn't think that. "Fuck me," she practically begged, snaking her hand to rub his groin hard. She captured her lips with his again and thrust her tongue into his mouth roughly, kissing him deeply.

Getting caught up in their kiss, Jesse let Rachel continue to rub him through his jeans making him extremely hard. Before he knew it, she had unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and was about to take him in her hand when he stopped her once again. She whined slightly as they broke apart and he maintained his firm grip on her wrist. He glanced out the window to see where they were and noticed that they were only a couple of blocks from Rachel's apartment. "We're almost home," he told her.

She looked out the same window that he had just looked out of, trying to get her alcohol addled brain to register where they were. When she turned her head to look at Jesse again, she had a pout on her lips.

He leaned forward to whisper something, his lips grazing her ear and sending a jolt of electricity through her. "A few more minutes and I'll be inside of you, fucking you into oblivion." Rachel didn't think it was possible but his words turned her on even more than she already was.

Reluctantly, she rolled off of him and he buttoned and zipped his jeans back up just as they pulled up outside of Rachel's building. Jesse paid the taxi driver before they both got out of the cab.

A few minutes later, as the elevator door closed behind them Jesse had Rachel pressed up against the wall, hands and lips everywhere and anywhere. He had the urge to pull the emergency stop button and take her right there in the elevator but before he could do anything the elevator came to a stop on Rachel's floor. They continued to kiss each other breathless as they made their way to Rachel's door.

Slamming her back against the door, Rachel wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck as her lifted her off the ground and pinned her between him and the door. Jesse somehow managed to fumble with the key and open the front door and go inside the apartment even with Rachel wrapped around him. She began undoing his jeans once again as he carried her into the bedroom. By the time he had her on the bed, she had him in her hand, lightly stroking him. He needed to be inside of her, feel her walls clench around him so he moved her underwear to the side instead of taking it off and buried himself to the hilt causing Rachel to cry out in ecstasy as she had her first of what was sure to be many orgasms for the night.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note: **My apologies for taking so long to get this chapter posted. My vacation and then subsequent recovery from said vacation put me behind on this chapter. Thanks to **northstar61** for letting me run some ideas by her. Big developments in this chapter. I'm both nervous and excited to hear what you guys think about it so leave me a review and let me know. :) Enjoy!

* * *

A few days after the dinner party at Kurt and Daniel's, Jesse walked into the bathroom as Rachel was just getting out of the shower to inform her that his real estate agent, Veronica, had just called to inquire about his decision on which apartment he would possibly like to make an offer on. "What did you tell her?" Rachel asked, towel drying her hair lightly before tossing the towel aside.

"That I would get back to her tomorrow," he replied, leaning against the doorframe as he watched his girlfriend beginning her morning routine. He smiled at the fact that he now knew that she had a morning routine.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked as she looked at him in the bathroom mirror, unable to keep a smile from gracing her lips after finally noticing his sleep mussed curls and the way the t-shirt he had on with his pajama pants showed off his lean, muscular arms that were loosely crossed in front of his chest.

He pushed off the doorframe and walked over to stand behind her, placing his hands on either side of the sink. "Nothing," he said softly before placing a kiss on her bare shoulder. Jesse rested his chin in the crook of her neck before speaking again. "So you and I need to make a decision today."

"And how do you suggest we do that since we loved both places so much," Rachel answered, leaning back into Jesse slightly.

"Well, I was thinking a pros," he punctuated his word with a kiss on the right side of her neck before continuing, "and a cons list." He moved his head around and kissed the left side this time.

"Oh, you think it'll be as easy as that," she somehow managed to a skeptical reply, despite the breathiness in her voice that his lips on her suddenly too hot skin was causing.

"I do," he replied, locking his eyes with hers in the mirror as he reached up and undid her towel that was currently knotted just above her breasts. She saw the heated look in Jesse's eyes as her towel fell to the floor, leaving her fully naked in front of him. Rachel watched as his hands skimmed across her skin to cup her breasts and fondle them.

"Jesse, I thought we needed to work on a pros and cons list," she tried to protest even as she felt herself ache for him to touch her between her legs and give her release.

"We will," he replied huskily. He kept a hand on one of her breasts as he teased her nipple into a hard peak and snaked his hand down her abdomen. He arched her back against him before he dipped a finger inside of her wetness. He loved how turned on she got just from a simple touch. "You may have to take another shower in a little bit."

His words and the movements of his hands made her want him even more. She whimpered as his hands left her body so he could make quick work of his clothing. She widened her stance, arched her back even more and leaned against the sink in front of her.

Jesse looked at the exquisite curve of her back as he ran his hand down her spine before he gripped her hip and with his other hand positioned himself perfectly at her entrance. He rubbed himself back and forth over her wetness several times as he looked at her in the mirror. "Keep looking at me," he rasped out just before he pushed inside of her, causing her to cry out in pleasure. She rocked back into him as he thrust into her from behind again, thus beginning their steady yet frantic rhythm.

The sound of skin slapping against skin as their bodies moved in tandem mixed with their moans and grunts of pleasure, filled the tile bathroom with sounds of their urgent coupling. Jesse knew he was close and wasn't sure he could last much longer so he slipped one of his hands around Rachel and circled her nub. Rachel felt her legs start to tremble as she felt the beginnings of her orgasm. That was all it took for Jesse to spill his seed inside of her as he continued to thrust in and out of her.

"Don't stop," Rachel panted, feeling her own impending release. He did as she asked and worked magic with his fingers. It wasn't long before she was gripping the counter in front of her as she was rocked with a mind-numbing orgasm.

Finally breaking eye contact, Jesse leaned over and placed a wet, open-mouthed kiss on Rachel's neck before he began sucking. He had an overwhelming need to leave his mark on her for all the world to see.

She gripped the back of his head, lacing her fingers through his hair as she held his head firmly in place wanting his mark on her just as much. "God, I love you, Jesse St. James," she told him breathlessly, feeling him smile against her skin at her words.

* * *

After they had both showered and dressed, they made their way to the living room couch with a pen and a pad of paper ready to put together their pros and cons list for the two apartments at the top of their list. Rachel wrote _Central Park West_ on one side and _Upper East Side_ on the other. Then she wrote the words _pros_ and _cons_ under each. "Okay, let's start with the pros," she said looking up at Jesse.

"The view of the Park definitely for the Central Park apartment," Jesse replied.

"Although, the view of the city from the Upper East Side apartment is pretty incredible too," Rachel countered, putting down both on their list.

"It is, but there's something about having that view of the park _and_ the city," Jesse offered. "The openness of the living space is definitely a pro for both of them."

"Agreed." Rachel wrote that down for both apartments. "The dark hardwood floors in the Upper East."

"Really?" Jesse asked, surprised that was a pro for her. "I'm kind of more partial to the lighter floors in the Central Park. It made the apartment feel bigger."

"That's why I liked the darker floors on the Upper East; it made the apartment feel cozy." Rachel could already tell that apparently their list making was going to be much of the same as they both clearly had a favorite. It was just going to be about convincing each other which one was a better fit for them. So she wrote down the floors in both the pros and cons list and their reasoning for each apartment before speaking again. "I really liked the clean, modern feel of the Upper East kitchen with the dark cabinets."

"I liked it too, but it almost felt too industrial. There was something warm and inviting about the Central Park kitchen despite it being equally as modern as the other one," Jesse rebutted.

Rachel sighed, setting the pad of paper on the coffee table before turning to Jesse. "How about instead of a list we just make a case for our favorite since we both obviously have one."

"Alright, you go first," Jesse replied. He smiled as he watched Rachel get up off the couch and start pacing back and forth in front of him.

"As I have previously stated," she began formally which only made Jesse's smile grow wider. "The Upper East Side apartment has all of the things that I love. Sleek, modern and spacious yet still warm and cozy. I loved everything about it from the gorgeous floors to the floor-to-ceiling windows to the flow of the layout of the apartment. I could see a little piece of us in every room. It _feels_ like us. Plus, it's in one of the most fabulous neighborhoods that New York has to offer. I think we would love it there." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she tried to think of something more to say about the apartment that she loved so much. The simple gesture was so reminiscent of something her high school self would have done in that moment that Jesse couldn't help but smile fondly at the woman standing in front of him. Deciding that she couldn't think of anything more at the moment, Rachel sat back down on the couch next to Jesse.

Taking his cue from his little drama queen, he stood up before he started speaking. "The moment I walked into the Central Park West apartment, I felt like I was home. Like _we_ were home. I could see us waking up to that view every morning together from our king-sized bed. We would make love in front of the fireplace. Take baths together in the tub. Cook dinner for our friends in the kitchen as they sit comfortably in the living room chatting with us. Raise our son or daughter there. Walk hand-in-hand with our child as he or she is just learning how to walk as we take a lazy stroll through Central Park on a cool fall day."

Rachel felt like her heart was beating out of her chest at Jesse's words. How could she not want to live in a place where Jesse had envisioned their lives so vividly? She wanted the future that he had conjured up so badly that it almost hurt.

"The truth is, Rachel Berry," Jesse began, kneeling down in front of her and taking both of her hands in his. "I don't care if we live on the Upper East Side or Central Park West or Murray Hill or any other part of this city, as long as you're there, I'll be happy. You're my home."

Rachel felt tears sting the corners of her eyes at the beautiful things he had just said to her and knew that her decision was made. "Central Park West," she told him softly, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"Are you sure because…" he started but she cut him off with a kiss before he could finish.

Resting her forehead against his, she answered, "Yes, I'm sure."

* * *

Jesse was in his dressing room after the show later that night when he heard a knock on the door. He smiled as he went to answer it as he fully expected it to be Rachel, but to his surprise it was his director who was standing on the other side. "Can I come in?" Edward asked.

"Absolutely," Jesse answered, opening the door and motioning for Edward to come inside the dressing room.

"Fantastic performance tonight," the director complimented him as he sat down on the couch.

"Thank you," Jesse replied, a little unsure as to why Edward was in his dressing room. In all the months that they had been doing the show, the director had never come into his dressing room just to talk. He sat down on the couch opposite Edward, waiting for the man to explain the reason for his impromptu visit.

Finally he spoke, "This was delivered to my apartment by your wife earlier today." Jesse noticed for the first time that he was holding an envelope in his hand.

"Soon-to-be ex-wife," Jesse corrected as he took the envelope that Edward was handing to him. The director waited for Jesse to look at what was inside of it. In the envelope was the picture that she had taken at Rachel's that she had sent to Jesse in a text message of he and Rachel locked in a passionate embrace. There was also a note that accompanied the picture that simply said _I thought you should be aware of what the two stars of your show are doing when they think no one is watching. Scandal can be very bad for business._ "Edward, listen," Jesse started but the man held up his hand to stop him.

"If I was another director or this was another production then this very well could have had serious ramifications. But that's not how I run my productions. I don't know how long you and Rachel have been more than co-stars and frankly, I don't want to know," Edward reassured him. "All that matters is that a certain level of professionalism be maintained, and both you and Rachel have been nothing but professionals since day one."

"I am sorry that you and the show were dragged into this," Jesse apologized.

"Jesse, I've been through a nasty divorce myself so I understand. I know what she had hoped to accomplish, but it doesn't go any further than this room." He stood up to leave. "You might want to consider having your publicist release a statement about your impending divorce."

"Thank you, Edward." He managed to muster up a stiff smile as the director headed toward the door. Jesse looked at the note and the photo again, anger coursing through his veins as the note crinkled in his fist. She had really crossed the line with her latest revenge tactic. It was one thing for her to try and involve Donovan in her payback, but for her to physically go to Edward's apartment and hand him a note was a whole new level of playing dirty.

Jesse thought about burning the note and the picture and just not telling Rachel about it so she didn't have to worry, but then thought better of it. She would want to know about this especially now that their director knew of his two stars off-stage romance. He smoothed out the note and put it and the picture back in the envelope, stuffing it in the back of his jeans so he could show her when they got home.

* * *

"So tell me what's wrong," Kurt queried, noticing the look on Rachel's face as they ate lunch together the next day. He could tell that something had been bothering her since they had sat down earlier.

"It's Isla," Rachel replied.

Kurt sighed. "What is the bitch up to now?"

"She went to our director's apartment and gave him an envelope with a picture of me and Jesse kissing along with a nice little semi-threatening note," she told him through gritted teeth.

"I swear she is chemically imbalanced. She needs to be on some medication or she's going to all _Fatal Attraction_ on your ass and start boiling bunnies." He thought for a moment before continuing. "Well, actually I guess you would technically be Glenn Close in this scenario, but you know what I'm saying. The woman is crazy, Rachel."

"More like vindictive," Rachel grumbled. "She couldn't get Donovan to do her dirty work so she decides that if she can't trash us in the press then the next best thing is to try and destroy our reputation with our director and who knows what else. Get us fired?"

Kurt reached across the table and took his best friend's hand in his own. "I'm sorry that you guys are going through this."

She managed to give him an appreciative smile even as tears began to well in her eyes, blurring her vision. "I mean, it's not like we're completely innocent in all of this, but can't she just demand the apartment and let it go? Why does she have to try to destroy our lives? It's not like they were in a happy marriage." Tears slipped down her cheeks and wiped them away quickly. "I just want to move on with our lives."

"You know if there was anything I could do…" Kurt started before Rachel waved him off.

"You are doing something." He raised his eyebrows at her declaration. "By listening to me," she explained like it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.

Kurt grinned proudly and leaned back in his seat, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. "Well, I am a pretty amazing best friend." He got the reaction that he wanted as Rachel giggled.

"Oh, I have good news," she burst out as she remembered why she had originally asked Kurt to go to lunch.

He leaned his elbows on the table and leaned forward conspiratorially. "Do tell."

"We picked an apartment," Rachel told Kurt, happy for the change in subject.

Kurt clapped his hands enthusiastically at the news. "So, tell me which one…" Rachel opened her mouth to speak but before she could say anything Kurt held up his hands and interjected. "No, wait, let me guess. You guys went with the… Central Park West apartment."

"How did you guess?" she asked excitedly, a huge grin on her face.

"The way that Jesse was talking about it at dinner it seemed like it was his favorite. I knew he'd be able to persuade you if you were leaning toward the Upper East Side apartment." He gave Rachel a knowing look. "That's what happened, right?"

She had a sheepish grin on her face as she explained how she and Jesse had come to a decision. "You should've heard the things that he said, Kurt. He had practically imagined our entire lives in that apartment. It wasn't that I didn't love the Central Park West apartment already but I thought I liked the other one more, but then he started talking and I began envisioning it too and I wanted everything that he had pictured for us in that apartment. Then he told me that he didn't care where we lived as long as I'm there with him."

Kurt raised his eyebrows at her words. "Oh, he's good. I need to get some pointers from him for when I need Daniel to see things my way," he smirked at Rachel.

"He wasn't manipulating me, Kurt," Rachel retorted with a roll of her eyes. "I could see us having a family and being completely happy in the other apartment, but I want the life that he was describing."

"I'm happy for you guys," he told her, laying a hand on her arm and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I expect an invite as soon as you have the keys to it."

Rachel giggled as she replied, "Deal." She took a bite of her salad before she remembered the fashion gala that Kurt had been working his ass off for over the last month to get ready for. "The gala is this Friday night, right?"

Kurt's eyes lit up at Rachel's question. "It is. I wish that you could be my date but you have some other engagement that you can't seem to get out of for some reason," he teased. "I still think you should call in sick."

"Well, at least you'll have a very handsome man on your arm all night," she said, winking at her best friend.

"Yeah, I guess Daniel will do in a pinch," Kurt quipped, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

* * *

Kurt and Daniel had been at the fashion gala for nearly an hour when Kurt spotted Isla for the first time that evening. He should have known that she would also be attending seeing as she worked for _Vogue_. _She may be a complete bitch but she's a bitch with an impeccable fashion sense_, he thought as he appraised her stunning Versace dress. He noticed that she kept looking to her left like she was watching someone. Or he wondered if perhaps she was trying to catch someone's eye. Kurt didn't know what compelled him but he excused himself from the small group that he and Daniel were chatting with to follow her.

He made his way through the crowd of people following closely behind her but keeping his distance so she wouldn't recognize him. Kurt stopped next to a pillar and watched as Isla stopped next to a larger group of people. Apparently, there had been someone she was watching. While the man was handsome, he had to be at least ten years her senior. He saw her whisper something in the man's ear. Whatever she had said caused the man to discreetly walk away from the group he had been conversing with and follow behind her.

As soon as he saw them disappear into a small alcove, he hurried in their direction and peaked around the corner. He expected to find them locked in a passionate embrace but instead he saw that they were in the midst of a very heated discussion with Isla's face alternating between frustration and desperation. Kurt did the only thing he could think of and quickly pulled out his phone. He turned on the camera and then the video mode before hitting the record button. He smirked as he thought of the picture that she had used of Jesse and Rachel to threaten them. If there was one thing that you didn't do, it was fuck with his best friend.

Just as it looked as though Isla's mystery man was going to walk away, she grabbed him and kissed him hard. Then it was like whatever had been holding the man back before just disappeared as he pulled her against him tightly and kissed her back deeply. Kurt continued to watch and record the private moment even as they broke apart and had a quiet, intimate conversation. He quickly pulled his phone back to stop recording as he noticed that their conversation appeared to be over. Standing nonchalantly with his back to the entrance to the alcove, Kurt heard their laughter as they passed by him to rejoin the party.

Once again, Kurt followed behind them through the crowd until he saw them head towards the bar nearby. He immediately made a beeline for Daniel who he saw still chatting with the same group he had just left him with. "Excuse me, I have to borrow him," Kurt told the group before pulling Daniel away.

"What in the hell is going on with you?" Daniel asked, puzzled by Kurt's odd behavior.

"I need you to do me a favor." The urgency in Kurt's voice got Daniel's attention and he nodded. "I need you to go talk to that woman over there," Kurt said, pointing at Isla.

"Okay, but why can't you just do it?" He needed more of an explanation from Kurt than he was currently getting.

"Because that's Jesse's wife, Isla, and I saw her kissing that man that she's standing next to." Daniel looked over at the couple before looking back at his partner. "Take my phone and record your conversation." He gave Kurt a look like he was crazy before he took the phone in his hands. "Find out if that man is her boyfriend."

So Daniel made his way over to the bar and sidled up next to Isla who currently had her back to him as she talked to her male companion. Even though he was standing close enough to touch Isla with his shoulder, he couldn't hear a word of the hushed conversation that the two people next to him were having. He waited patiently for the busy bartender to make his way over to him. "Gin and tonic," Daniel told the bartender. He watched the bartender mix his cocktail and wondered how he could strike up a conversation with the woman next to him especially when the man she was with was still standing there. Looking down at Kurt's phone that was still currently in his hand, Daniel also wasn't sure how he could inconspicuously start recording a conversation with Isla once they actually started talking. So he decided to go ahead and start recording in hopes that it wouldn't be much longer before he spoke with her. He hit the record button and laid the phone face down on the bar between him and Isla.

As the bartender handed Daniel his drink, it was almost like the man had heard his thoughts about wanting to speak to Isla alone as he said something to her and walked off in a hurry. A clearly frustrated Isla tried to get a bartender's attention but was unsuccessful so Daniel took this as his in, managing to get the attention of the bartender that had just helped him. "What are you drinking?" he asked Isla.

"Vodka club soda," she told him over the buzz of the party that was in full force all around them. Daniel gave the drink order to the bartender before turning to smile at Isla. "Thank you!" He nodded his head in response as the bartender handed her the drink. Daniel watched her take a large gulp of the drink. "God, I needed that," she said loud enough for Daniel to hear.

"Boyfriend troubles?" Daniel asked. Isla raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. "The man that was standing here before, he's your boyfriend, right?"

"I don't know if boyfriend is the right word for him," she remarked, taking another long sip of her drink. "But we are together."

"How long have you guys been together?" He tried to be as nonchalant as he possibly could. He didn't want her to question why he was asking her all of these personal things.

"Off and on for a little over a year." Daniel did his best not to choke on his drink as he heard what she said. "Sometimes it feels like it's been much longer than that," she said loudly.

"I know the feeling. I've been with my partner for three years but sometimes he makes it feel more like thirty," he said with a laugh. "Speaking of him, I see him over there looking for me. It was very nice to meet you…"

"Isla," she told him.

"Daniel," he offered as he leaned closer to the phone on the bar to shake her hand. "Well good luck with your man, Isla." Grabbing the phone off the bar top and with his drink in his hand, Daniel made his way to the last place he had seen Kurt. Sure enough, he was still in pretty much the same spot that Daniel had left him only now he was talking to a different group of people. Daniel just smiled at Kurt with wide eyes as he stood beside him.

Kurt excused himself from the group to talk to his boyfriend. "So what happened?" Kurt asked anxiously.

"I found out that she's been seeing the guy you saw her with for over a year," Daniel said handing Kurt back his phone. "We have to tell Jesse."

* * *

Jesse and Rachel had just got back to her apartment when Jesse's phone buzzed indicating that he had a text message. Looking at his phone he saw that it was from Kurt.

_Check your e-mail. There's something that you need to see._

Rachel looked up at Jesse to see a puzzled look on his face. "What is it?" she asked.

"Just a vague text from Kurt," he answered, showing her the message on the screen of his phone before he opened up his e-mail inbox to find the e-mail from Kurt. Rachel leaned over and rested her head on Jesse's arm so she could also look at what her best friend had felt was so urgent. There was no title and no text in the e-mail, just an attachment. "Huh, there's a video," Jesse remarked before clicking on the attachment to open it and watch it.

As it started playing, it took Jesse a moment before he realized what he was seeing. "Is that…" Rachel started to ask, astonished by the video that was currently playing on Jesse's phone.

"Isla," came Jesse's stiff one-word reply as he continued to watch his soon-to-be ex-wife locked in a passionate embrace with a man that looked vaguely familiar to Jesse but he couldn't quite place the face. He was seething as he remembered the night when he had left her and the things that she had said about him and his relationship with Rachel. There was no doubt in his mind that the stolen moment he was currently watching was not the first time it had happened.

As soon as the video ended, he found Kurt's number in his contact list and hit the screen to call him. The phone only rang twice before Kurt answered. "Did you see the video?" he asked in lieu of an actual greeting.

"Where did you get that?"

Kurt decided that he should just give Jesse the whole story to spare him from having to ask a bunch of questions to get the information out of him. "Tonight at the fashion gala I saw her and followed her. Don't ask me why, but I just did. I saw her approach this guy and then watched them sneak off together only to witness what you just watched. So I thought that you might like a little video evidence of her since she likes to take stalker pictures of you and Rachel." He took a big breath before continuing. "That's not all though. I had Daniel talk to her to try and get some information out of her. Turns out she and that guy have been fooling around for over a year."

"What?" Jesse asked. Rachel just looked at Jesse waiting to hear what Kurt had told him on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, that's what she told him. Luckily, I had the foresight to give Daniel my phone before I sent him to try and get some information out of her so he managed to actually record their conversation. Granted, it's not the clearest thing in the world, but you can hear everything that they're saying," Kurt explained, almost proudly.

Jesse couldn't help but chuckle at the sound of Kurt's voice. "Are you planning on moonlighting as a detective?"

"I'd make a damn fine one," he responded, the smile evident in his tone. "I'll send you the audio file. Do with it what you will."

"You're a good friend," Jesse said. "Thanks, Kurt."

"You're welcome. Tell Rachel I said hi." And with that Kurt and Jesse hung up the phone.

"What did he say?" Rachel asked the moment Jesse set the phone down on the coffee table.

"That Isla's a liar and a hypocrite," he responded feeling himself getting angry once again. "She's been messing around with that guy for over a year. She told me that _I_ was the one that ruined our marriage. Like I was the only one that broke our wedding vows."

"Over a year?" Rachel repeated, astonished that Isla had been unfaithful to Jesse for so long. Rachel wondered for a moment if Isla had ever cheated on Jesse before. She tried to think of something more to say but found she was at a loss for words.

"I cannot fucking believe her," Jesse spat as he stood up and began pacing back and forth. "She's been playing the scorned woman, contesting the divorce and refusing to have any discussions about anything, spying on us, tried to convince Donovan to trash us in the press, even went so far as to try and cause trouble with Edward and the show when she's…" Jesse ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

Rachel got up off of the couch and lightly gripped his arm to get him to look at her. As she looked at his face, she made a decision. "Go. I know you need to do this," she told him, reaching up to run her hand down the side of his face eventually letting her fingertips rest on his jaw lightly.

"Rachel, I don't–" he started before she placed her fingertips on his lips.

"Yes, you do. I understand. All I ask is that when you've done what you need to do that you come home to me," she said.

"I will always come home to you," he replied, pulling her close and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you." Letting go of her, he walked over to the coffee table and grabbed his phone. On his way out of Rachel's apartment, he picked up his keys off of the small table near the door and turned around to look at Rachel once more. "I won't be long. I promise."

Somehow Rachel managed to muster up a smile as she nodded in understanding. She wanted so badly to go with him, but he had to do this on his own. Besides, her presence would have only made what was sure to be a bad situation ten times worse.

* * *

For a moment, Jesse thought about using his key to open the door but decided that he wanted to make his presence known so he banged on the door a few times with his fist as loud as he could. On the cab ride over he had tried to abate his fury at the information that he had learned just a short time before, but nothing had worked. He waited a moment for Isla to answer the door but when no one came he raised his hand to bang on it again when he heard the lock turn.

The door swung open revealing Isla in her robe. "Damnit Jesse, you're going to wake the neighbors with your banging," she hissed, her eyes narrowed into slits. "What the hell are you doing here?" She stepped out into the hall and closed the door slightly behind her.

"Is he in there?" he asked, gesturing towards the apartment.

"What are you talking about?" Her eyes widened imperceptibly, but it did not escape Jesse's notice.

"The boyfriend that you neglected to mention that you've been screwing around with for over a year," he growled.

"You don't have any proof of that," she retorted.

Jesse merely sneered at her response as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Don't be too sure of that. You remember how you so kindly warned me about being affectionate with Rachel in public? Well, you might want to watch what you say to total strangers." In all the years that they had known each other, not once had Isla heard the cold calmness in his voice that was there now. She paled as she looked Jesse in the eye wondering just how much he knew. When she didn't respond, Jesse thrust his phone at her. "Do you want to see?"

She shook her head 'no' in response. "What do you want?"

"I want the truth which I know is going to be hard for you because it seems that everything thing that passes your lips is nothing but a lie, but try," he commanded in a low, dangerous voice. Isla hesitated for a moment wondering how much she should tell him. "If you don't tell me everything about him and your relationship then I will find out some other way and I won't hesitate in using that information."

"Fine," she huffed. "Alec and I work together. He's my editor. We went on a business trip together last year and we had drinks after dinner one night then one thing led to another. That's when our affair started. We started planning more business trips together. Late nights at the office became secret rendezvous. Unlike you, his wife started to suspect something months ago and she threatened that if he didn't end it that she would take the kids and he would never see them. Her family would help her see to that. So he ended things when we were in Paris."

As Jesse heard Isla mention Paris and the fact that Alec had broken things off with her there, all the pieces started to come together. Her sudden change of heart to make their marriage work and her desperation for him to be intimate with her. It all made sense to him now.

"When you went to Atlantic City for the weekend, we began seeing each other again. We have been ever since," she finished. "Are you satisfied now?"

"No." Isla looked slightly taken aback by his answer. "Here's how it's going to be. You're going to give me the uncontested divorce that I wanted from the beginning. We're going to sell this apartment and if you don't want to sell it then I'm going to want my half. Finally, you're going to stay the fuck out of my life." He lowered his voice to almost a whisper as he leaned in close. "If I find out that you're trying to fuck with my or Rachel's careers again, you're going to regret it."

With that, he turned and walked back towards the elevator. Before he reached the elevator doors he turned around and looked back at Isla. "I'll tell my lawyer to expect a phone call from your lawyer tomorrow."

* * *

Rachel lay in bed unable to fall asleep while she waited for Jesse. She wasn't sure how long he had been gone, but it felt like an eternity. She turned on her side to face Jesse's side of the bed, laying her hand on his pillow. Just then she heard the front door open and sat up as Jesse walked into the bedroom.

He came over to her side of the bed and sat down next to her, taking her face in his hands. They just stared at each other wordlessly for a moment. "Hi," she whispered.

"We won't have to worry about her anymore. It's over," he told Rachel, relief flooding his features.

"Really?" Rachel asked, wanting to make sure that she had heard him right.

"Really," he replied before pressing his lips against hers tenderly.


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: **I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to get this update posted. The last month has been a busy one for me and I just recently got back from my second vacation this summer. I had the best of intentions to get some writing done at the beach, but that never happened. I'm going to be busy over the next month but hopefully it won't take me quite so long to get the next chapter posted. The lack of updates has nothing to do with me losing interest in this fic at all.

For those that a curious about whether this fic is nearing its end, I want to explore Jesse/Rachel as a couple so I don't know how much longer this fic will be but I still have plenty of story left in me. Plus there's still the cabaret, Hanukkah, Rachel's birthday, Christmas, New Year's and of course, the new apartment to get to. :)

Apologies for the long-winded author's note. I hope that you guys are still enjoying the fic. I say it every chapter but I really do appreciate all of the reviews. They just give me that extra bit of encouragement to write even more. So please review b/c they make me happy! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

* * *

It had been a week since Jesse had confronted Isla and thankfully the only thing that they had heard from her was what Jesse's lawyer had told him. She wasn't going to contest the divorce and their apartment had been placed on the market.

There were no outside forces trying to tear them apart anymore. It felt like he and Rachel could finally be a real couple. He would officially be divorced just after the New Year and would soon have a new home for them to start building their lives together. In fact, that had been where they had just come from. Veronica had called a few days before to let Jesse know that the sellers had accepted his offer, so today they had gone to the apartment for the inspection. Once they had left the inspection, they had decided to take a stroll through Central Park and enjoy the crisp yet beautiful fall day.

"Thanksgiving is next week," Jesse said casually as they walked through the Mall towards the Literary Walk.

Rachel sighed contentedly as she wrapped her free hand around Jesse's arm and leaned her head against it. "It is," she agreed. "Our first Thanksgiving together." She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her lips after she had said it out loud. She felt his lips brush against her hair lightly as he placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head.

"Since I know you're not going back to Ohio, I'm assuming that your dads are coming here to spend Thanksgiving with you in New York," he said.

"Yeah," she replied. "They're going to be so excited that you're going to be here. They ask about you all the time."

"They ask about me?" Jesse asked a hint of surprise in his voice. Sure, her dads had been very friendly towards him on opening night but he didn't think that once they got back to Ohio that they would actually care what he was doing.

"Of course they do." She turned her head to look up at him. "They always liked you. You were actually their favorite boyfriend of mine." Jesse opened his mouth to ask the obvious question but Rachel answered it for him before he had the chance. "Even in spite of…everything that happened."

Jesse was stunned into silence for a moment. Then he thought of something that the Berry men might not like so much. "Do they know about us?" he asked. He knew that Rachel was very close with both of her dads but he was wondering just how much she told them.

"God, no!" Rachel exclaimed instantly. "I tell them a lot of things, but that's just not something that I want them to know." A part of her knew that her dads would more than likely understand what had happened between her and Jesse. How sometimes things that are completely right and meant to be don't always come in a perfect package wrapped in a pretty bow. They would understand that sometimes life is messy, but that it's worth it. If she could do it all over again, she would still make the same choices if it meant that she would be with Jesse. "I'll tell them one day," she added.

"So where are they staying?" he wondered, knowing there was a good chance that they were more than likely going to be staying at Rachel's.

"With me," she replied without hesitation. Then it was like it dawned on her what that meant. "Oh my God, they're staying with me," she repeated as she came to a halt and stopping Jesse as well.

"Rachel, I can stay in a hotel or maybe Thomas wouldn't mind me staying at his apartment for a few days," he reassured her, lightly gripping her shoulders.

"It won't be the same," she pouted, her bottom lip jutting out slightly.

Jesse just couldn't resist the urge to lean down and place a light kiss on her lips which earned him a smile from Rachel as he pulled away. "I promise that those few days will go by so fast it'll be like no time has passed at all." He took her hand in his as they started walking again. "Are Kurt and Daniel going to be in town for Thanksgiving?"

"Not this year. Finn and Quinn just had a little boy back in September so they're going to Lima," Rachel explained nonchalantly.

"Wait, Finn and Quinn are married?" Jesse asked, this time pulling Rachel to a stop.

"Yeah, did I never mention that?" Rachel was surprised that Jesse would even care what Finn Hudson was doing especially since he never cared much for him.

"Well, isn't that interesting," he chuckled as they started walking again. "So when did they get married?"

"A couple of years ago actually. They could never get it quite right in high school, but when they ran into each other over Christmas break a few years after we graduated they ended up rekindling their romance." She remembered all of the times that she and Quinn had fought over Finn in high school; Rachel was glad she could look back on it now and laugh. Then she remembered what had inspired her very first original and Regional winning song in her junior year.

"What?" Jesse asked as he heard Rachel giggle to herself.

"Oh, I was just thinking how funny it is how life works out sometimes," she told him. She saw the questioning look on Jesse's face so she decided to elaborate. "Quinn once told me that she and Finn would get married and have kids and live in Lima and that I was destined for more than that. Of course, I didn't like what she had said at the time and had even defiantly told her that I wouldn't give up on Finn, but she'd been right. I was always destined for more than Lima and Finn Hudson."

"You were always meant to be here with me. Right here, right now," Jesse said softly in her ear as he slung his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into his side. "So what do Finn and Quinn do in Lima?"

"Funnily enough, Quinn is actually a real estate agent just like she told me she would be. And Finn is a high school teacher," she replied knowing that would shock Jesse.

"Are you serious?" The Finn that Jesse had known could barely count to ten let alone actually instruct an entire classroom full of kids.

"Well, he is a PE teacher so it's not like he's teaching math or science," Rachel responded with a laugh. "He's also the football coach."

"Ah, now that makes sense. Hopefully, they have a better record than when Finn was quarterback." Even though Jesse had transferred to McKinley after football season was over with his senior year, everyone had still talked about how much their football team had sucked.

Rachel couldn't help but laugh at Jesse's comment. "I'll have to ask Kurt the next time I talk to him."

"So they have a kid now, huh?"

"Yeah, Kurt's really excited about finally getting to meet his new little nephew," Rachel replied. "He showed me a picture of him when he was first born. He has Finn's dark hair, but Quinn's eyes. He's actually really cute."

Without missing a beat, Jesse told her softly, "Ours will be even cuter."

Rachel felt her heart flutter at his words. She knew that they had no plans to have kids together anytime soon, but just the thought of a little Rachel or Jesse running around made her blissfully happy. She allowed herself to daydream of the future that she so often thought of nowadays for a moment before a thought snapped her back to reality. "Since Kurt and Daniel are going to be out of town, why don't I ask them if you could stay at their place while my dads are staying with me?"

"Rach, I'm sure it'll be fine for me to stay at Thomas's," he replied, looking down at her. He came to a stop again as she slid around in front of him, her arms wrapped around his waist underneath his open jacket as she looked up at him with a wicked glint in her eye.

"But what if I need some alone time with you?" Rachel asked as she stood flush against him, her nails scratching lightly through the fabric of his button down while her hands ran up and down his back.

He leaned down, his breath hot on her face in the cool fall air. "There's always our dressing rooms," he murmured, his lips brushing against hers before he brushed her hair out of the way and kissed her neck. When his lips touched her ear, it sent shivers of anticipation down her spine. "Or we could always just make up for the time we're going to miss before and after your dads visit."

"I like that plan," she breathed, enjoying the feel of his lips on her skin as he lightly kissed her neck once again. "I'm still asking Kurt though." She grinned as she felt the vibration of Jesse's laughter against her skin.

"My girl is persistent if nothing else," he replied as he leaned back to look at her again, an affectionate smile on his face.

* * *

Monday morning of Thanksgiving week, Rachel sat on Kurt's bed while he packed a suitcase for his flight that was leaving that afternoon. "So I was thinking…" she started.

"Why does it feel like you're about to ask me for something," he quipped as he folded his pants.

Rachel caught a hint of a smile but grabbed a pair of folded socks off of the bed and tossed them at Kurt anyway. "Listen," she insisted and waited for him to look at her before she continued. "Since you and Daniel are going to be away for a few days I thought that maybe Jesse could stay here over Thanksgiving while my dads are staying with me at my place."

"I thought he said he was staying at Thomas's," Kurt remarked with a quirk of his eyebrow and tilt of his head before he went back to the closet to grab some shirts.

"Well, he did ask Thomas and of course he told Jesse he could stay with him, but it's not like we can actually have any quality time on Thomas's couch," she explained. "I mean, I guess we could but I'm not sure that Thomas would be okay with that seeing as he lives in a loft and would be able to hear everything. Besides, we're not exactly quiet."

"Really, Rachel?" Kurt whipped around with an incredulous look on his face.

"What?" She gave him an innocent look as if she had no idea what she had just said that could possibly have made him have that reaction.

"I did not need to know that you and Jesse are screamers when you have sex," he replied with a smirk.

She waved him off. "Oh, please, you and I talk about our sex lives all the time."

"Yeah, in general," he retorted. "I don't need to know what positions you and Jesse have tried or if you guys like to talk dirty to each other."

"I've lost count of all of the various positions," she teased, trying to get a rise out of her best friend. "I mean, just last week he took one of my legs…" she trailed off as Kurt stuck his fingers in his ears.

"Lalalala, I can't hear you," he said loudly. Rachel fell back on the bed unable to control her laughter. Kurt looked over and narrowed his eyes at his best friend. "Not funny."

"It kind of was," she told him, still giggling.

Kurt ignored her even though he had begun to chuckle himself. "If Jesse wants to stay here then he is more than welcome. Just use your spare key. I have one condition though."

"And what's that?" Rachel asked, beaming at him.

"If you're going to have sex in my apartment then please wash the sheets."

"Deal," she agreed. She looked into the nearly full suitcase and then back at Kurt. "Where is Daniel's stuff going?"

"This is my bag and that's his," he replied, then indicated a smaller carry-on sitting near the door.

"You are going for just five days, right?" she asked, a quizzical look on her face as she looked at all of the clothes that Kurt had packed.

"Do you know me at all?"

* * *

When Rachel woke up Tuesday morning to the heavenly sensation of feather-light caresses and soft kisses on her naked skin, she wasn't sure if she was still dreaming or not until she heard Jesse's voice. "Wake up," he said softly into her ear. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she was greeted with her favorite image in the entire world; Jesse with sleep-mussed curls, bright eyes and a sexy smile. She pulled him down to her and kissed him soundly in lieu of a morning greeting, grinning against his lips as she tasted mint and realized that he had actually brushed his teeth in anticipation of morning sex.

Feeling his already extremely hard erection, Rachel knew exactly what he had wanted her to wake up for and she was more than happy to oblige. She spread her legs so he could settle between them, and gasped slightly when she felt the tip of him brush against her growing wetness. She had actually been telling Kurt the truth the day before when she had talked about the various positions they had tried, but sometimes she loved the tried-and-true missionary and just wanted to feel Jesse's weight on top of her. She moaned as she lifted her hips and rubbed against him again, needing him inside of her desperately.

That one simple movement was all it took before Jesse thrust into Rachel and buried himself to the hilt. They both just lay there unmoving for moment, eyes locked intensely, and their lips brushing against each other as their breath came in short gasps. Then Jesse captured her mouth in a deep kiss and began to move inside of her.

Rachel relished the feel of his tongue on her own and the feverish dance that their tongues were currently engaged in which was in direct contrast to the slow, deliberate movements of their bodies. It was moments like this where it felt like the entire outside world didn't exist and it was just the two of them. Not even the sounds of the bustling city on the streets below could penetrate their little bubble.

Jesse brushed a little wisp of Rachel's hair off of her forehead as they broke their kiss to catch their breath. There were no loud screams of pleasure or dirty talk; it was more breathy moans and quiet declarations of love on mornings like this one. "Love you," he whispered against her lips as he pulled out of Rachel a little and pushed into her with a bit more force. He was rewarded with a gasp from the beautiful woman beneath him, her eyes sliding closed and her head falling to the side, baring her neck to him.

As Jesse lips latched onto her neck, Rachel slid her hands slowly down his body until they came to rest on his perfect butt. She dug her nails into it slightly as he thrust into her again. The tension building inside of her body from their languid morning lovemaking was almost unbearable. "Please…" she begged, other words completely escaping her.

Knowing exactly what she wanted, Jesse began to move with just a little more speed at same time that he began to rub her nub in hard, small circles. She strained against him as her body was sent into sensory overload and scraped her nails up his back. The feel of her muscles clenching him as he thrust in and out of her let him know just how close she was to the orgasm she so desperately wanted him to give her. All it took was a few more thrusts before her body was shuddering in release right along with Jesse's, her mouth in the shape of a perfect 'O'.

Rachel wrapped her arms tightly around Jesse as he buried his face in the crook of her neck and pushed into her deeply one final time. She saw stars behind her eyelids as his final thrust sent another shockwave of ecstasy coursing through her body. "Oh…God…" Rachel breathed out. They lay in that same position for a few more minutes before Jesse rolled them over so that Rachel was now on top of him. She rested her head on his chest as they both managed to catch their breath again. "Tell me again why we don't do that every morning?" Rachel asked, teasingly.

"I have no idea," Jesse replied as he stroked Rachel's back with his fingertips.

"I hate that it's our last morning together," she pouted, tilting her head and looking up at him.

"Rach, it's only for five days," he said with a smile. "You're going to have so much fun with your dads that it's going to fly by."

"My dads and you," she corrected.

"Won't they know that something is going on if I'm always around?" he asked.

"Maybe." As her dads visit approached, she had started to think that maybe keeping her relationship with Jesse from them wasn't such a good idea after all. Of course, she didn't necessarily want them to know that they were basically living together and would actually be living together in the very near future, but she thought that maybe it would be a good idea to tell her dads about her and Jesse. "Maybe I'll tell them the truth."

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"I think so."

"Well, I'm good with whatever you decide," he reassured her, leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead.

* * *

"Dad, daddy," Rachel exclaimed in greeting as she opened her apartment door to reveal her fathers standing there with their luggage in tow. She was immediately enveloped in a group hug with both of her fathers. She hadn't realized how long it had actually been since she had last seen them. In fact, the last time had been when they had come to her opening night.

"You look great," her dad said as he took a step back to survey his daughter.

"Beautiful," her daddy added which only made Rachel's smile grow even wider.

"Thank you," she replied. "Come in." She opened the front door so they could both make their way inside her apartment. The two men walked into the living room and set their luggage next to the wall. "How was the flight?" Rachel asked as she went into the kitchen to grab them both a beer out of the refrigerator. They both groaned in unison. "That bad, huh?"

"The flight was fine," her daddy explained. "But you know how overcrowded the airport is. You're constantly bumping into people or you're stuck behind someone that is apparently _not_ in a rush." His husband nodded in agreement. "Traveling for Thanksgiving is just such a nightmare."

"But completely worth it for us to come see our little girl," her dad said as she handed them both a beer. The three Berry's walked over to the couch and chairs and sat down. "I know we talk all the time, but how are you really dealing with suddenly being single again?"

Rachel felt a furious blush rise in her cheeks. She had wanted so badly to tell them the truth about her relationship with Jesse but being face-to-face with them she wasn't sure if she would be able to get the words out. At the same time, she wasn't sure if she would be able to keep up the charade of her and Jesse just being friends. It was one thing to lie to her dads over the phone, but it was another thing to do it when they were sitting right in front of her. Plus, they would see her and Jesse interact on Thanksgiving Day since they were all going to the Macy's parade and then having dinner together that evening.

She noticed her dads staring at her expectantly awaiting her answer. "Breaking up with Donovan was the right decision for both of us," she told them. Rachel knew that she hadn't actually answered their question but she just couldn't lie to them outright like that. She wasn't single. She had no intentions of ever being single again. "A part of me wishes that it wouldn't have taken so long for us to realize that we weren't supposed to be together, but then again, letting go when a relationship isn't right hasn't always been one of my strong suits." She smiled ruefully as she thought about how she had foolishly clung to Finn Hudson for way too long in high school.

"We live and we learn," her daddy sighed with a small, knowing smile.

Rachel nodded. "I'm doing really well though. As you know, the show has been wonderful. Every day I go to work, I feel like all of my dreams have come true. I'm just so lucky." Her vision blurred with tears as she thought about how amazing her life had become. It was everything she had always hoped it would be but so much more. "I'm so excited that you guys are going to see the matinee tomorrow. I can't wait to hear what you think."

"I'm sure we'll love it even more than we did the first time," her dad told her. "How is Jesse, by the way?"

"Yeah, we were sorry to hear about the... personal issues he must have been going through lately," her daddy chimed in, referencing the news that had come out in the past week that Jesse and Isla were ending their marriage due to irreconcilable differences. "It can't be easy to get up on a stage night-after-night when your personal life is in turmoil."

Rachel did her best to stop the blush from rising in her cheeks once again. "Jesse is completely professional. He never lets anything like that affect his performance. He's like me. When he takes the stage, all that other crap gets left behind. He becomes the character. It's beautiful." She realized too late that she had been gushing a little too much. "He's become my best friend," she tried to explain.

"Does Kurt know that his spot has been taken?" her daddy teased.

Rachel waved off her daddy. "Kurt knows that no one will ever take his place. Besides, he and Jesse have become good friends too." She thought about how fun it would have been to have Kurt and Daniel joining them for Thanksgiving dinner. _Next year_, she thought, wistfully. Then she thought of something. "You guys are okay with Jesse coming to the Parade with us, right?"

They both looked at her and nodded. "Sure, honey. Why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know," Rachel said with a shrug. "It's just sort of become a family tradition and…" Her voice trailed off.

She saw her dads exchange curious expressions before her dad finally spoke up. "Rachel, is everything okay? You just seem a little…" He looked to his husband for the right word that he couldn't seem to find.

"Distracted."

"I'm fine," she waved them off with a bright smile and plastering on her best show face. She had gotten so good at it that she didn't think that her dads could even tell the difference anymore. "So, I was thinking that since I don't have to be at the theatre for another few hours that we could go grocery shopping for our Thanksgiving dinner," Rachel said, changing the subject. "I already have the turkey, stuffing and gravy but I need sweet potatoes, green beans…" she started going through the list of all the things that they would need to make the perfect Thanksgiving meal.

* * *

Jesse raised his fist to knock on Rachel's dressing room door later that night after their show. The door swung open immediately as though she had been waiting for him and she reached for his hand to pull him inside the room. Shutting the door and locking it behind him, Jesse pulled her into his arms. Rachel giggled as he peppered her face and neck with kisses. He finally pulled back to look at her fully and spoke, "I think you should come hang out with me over at Kurt's for a little while."

"I don't know," she responded, a twinkle in her eye. "My dads might be waiting up for me, so we can spend some time together." She was pretty sure that her dads would be asleep but she just couldn't resist messing with Jesse a little.

"Then go home, say hi, tell them that you're beat so they'll go to bed and leave you on the couch and then sneak out to come see me," he offered with an impish grin.

"Who are you and what have you done with the guy who told me that it was 'only a few days'?" she teased, using air quotes as she remembered what he had told her only days before.

He leaned down so their faces were only inches apart. "That was before this morning," he replied, huskily.

Rachel felt like her body was humming from the sense memory of their morning together. "So you want me to sneak out, huh?" Suddenly feeling like a teenager once again as she contemplated having to possibly sneak out of her own apartment to see Jesse.

"Or maybe you could sneak me in and we could make out on the couch for a little while," he whispered suggestively. "Maybe get caught in a compromising position…" He slid one of his hands around to the front of her body and under her shirt, brushing the underside of her breast through her bra.

"As thrilling as that all sounds," she told him a little breathless as she closed her eyes and arched into his touch. "I'm definitely coming over to Kurt's."

* * *

"So what were your dads up to when you called?" Jesse asked as they cuddled on Kurt's couch.

"They had just got back to the apartment and were having a night cap before they headed to bed," Rachel replied, snuggling in closer to Jesse. "They told me to have fun with my friends and that they would see me tomorrow."

"Does that mean you can stay the whole night?" He ran his hand up the back of her shirt to gently caress her silky skin. "I could set the alarm so you could get up early to get back to your apartment before the matinee tomorrow."

Rachel half-groaned at the idea of having to leave him and go back to sleep alone on her own couch and half-moaned as he ran his hand up her side underneath her shirt and let his fingers graze the side of her breast. "Don't tempt me," she told him, somehow managing to scold him.

"But it's just so much fun to do," he whispered, pulling his hand from underneath her shirt and grabbing her leg to pull it over his hip.

She wanted to kiss him so badly, but pulled back a bit instead. "I wanted to tell my dads about us today, but I just couldn't do it. I know if they asked me if we were together, I wouldn't be able to lie to them." The worry she felt over their reaction to the truth had plagued her every waking thought for the past few days it seemed. It wasn't that she was so much concerned with how her dads would look at her, but how they would look at Jesse. She was their daughter and they loved her unconditionally, but she couldn't bear the thought of her dads disapproving or thinking badly of the man that she loved more than life itself.

"Rach, you need to stop worrying about this," Jesse told her, reaching up to cup her cheek.

"I can't help it," she replied, averting her gaze from his. "I want them to love you as much as I do."

At her words, he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "How about I just turn on the St. James charm and then they won't be able to help themselves," he suggested, hoping to lighten the mood. It worked.

"You think it's that easy, do you?" she challenged as she narrowed her eyes playfully and poked him in the stomach. "I'll have you know that some people are immune to your charms."

He leaned his head down so his mouth was close to her ear. "And you are not one of them, Miss Berry," he murmured, his hands finding their way to her sides. He leaned back again to grin at her mischievously before he began tickling her.

Rachel squirmed in his grasp as she giggled uncontrollably. "Jesse… stop," she gasped out, still laughing.

He shook his head. "Never." He continued to tickle her and Rachel wriggled around on the couch, and before Jesse knew what was happening he was tumbling off of the couch onto the floor with a loud thud. He looked up at Rachel who was still on the couch and was now laughing at him. "What are you laughing about?" he asked, grinning up at her.

"That's what you get for the tickle assault," she giggled. "I think you might have woken up the downstairs neighbors."

He chuckled as he looked up at her from where he lay on the floor. "You know this floor's pretty comfortable."

"Not as comfortable as the couch," she teased, rolling onto her back and spreading out on the couch completely.

He reached up and grabbed her hand that was dangling over the side of the couch and gave it a good tug, causing Rachel to roll back over and look down at him. "Why don't you come down here and see for yourself?" Without another word, he managed to deftly pull her down on top of him.

They just looked at one another for a moment, their smiles disappearing slowly. "You're right, this is better than the couch," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. She lowered her head inch-by-inch until their lips were almost touching before she placed a kiss just on the side of his mouth then pulled back to tease him a little. As she looked down at him her plans went right out the window and she gave into her desire, crashing her lips against his in a passionate kiss.


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note: **I feel like this is becoming a recurring theme with me apologizing for the delays. I had every intention of getting this out weeks ago but life keeps getting in the way and I just haven't had much free time to get much writing done. Hopefully, I haven't lost too many of you by my lack of updates. For those of you who are still reading and enjoying this story, I'd love to hear your feedback so please review. Enjoy!

* * *

Jesse had just finished changing out of his costume and getting dressed after the matinee show the day before Thanksgiving. He grabbed his bag and was just about to head to Rachel's dressing room when he thought better of it. For all he knew, her dads were in there with her so he decided to send her a text instead.

_Are you alone?_ He sat down in a chair and waited for her to respond to him. He didn't have to wait long as he felt his phone vibrate in his hand moments later.

_No, but my dads would love to see you. ;)_ Jesse smiled as he read her text. Standing up, he headed for the door and shut off the light before leaving.

He was nearly to Rachel's door when he heard Thomas's voice call out to him. "Jesse!" He turned around and smiled at his friend who was jogging down the hall towards him.

"What's up?" Jesse asked as Thomas came to a halt in front of him, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

"Do you have any plans tonight?"

"No. I just figured I'd just go back to Kurt's, order some take-out and watch a movie or something," Jesse answered.

"You sound like some boring old married man," Thomas quipped with a smirk.

"First off, I'm not boring or old," Jesse thought about it for a second. "The married part is a technicality at this point but whatever. So, what'd you have in mind?" He had an idea as to what exactly Thomas had in mind. It had sort of become Thomas's pre-Thanksgiving tradition over the last few years that because Jesse had had other…obligations, he hadn't been able to participate. He had tried to get her to come with him the first year, but Isla had flat-out refused. She had never really been a big fan of Thomas since the first time she had met him even going so far as to call Thomas a frat boy.

"The fourth annual Wild Turkey pub crawl, of course," he responded, confirming what Jesse had suspected.

"Don't your parents hate you showing up at their house smelling like a distillery every Thanksgiving," Jesse chided playfully.

"Jesse, you've met my dad. If my mom would let him, he'd take the train into the city from Connecticut and do it with me," Thomas replied, a big grin on his face.

Jesse nodded knowingly. He had met Thomas's dad and had known immediately that the apple did not fall far from the tree. He recalled the night he had first met the man and all three of them had gone out to a bar together. Thomas had suggested that they drink around the world and Jesse had unwittingly agreed to it. Three hours later, Thomas and his dad had had to help Jesse back to his apartment before the two of them went off to another bar. Jesse couldn't remember ever being more hung over than he had been the day after that particular night out. He hadn't remembered anything after a certain point at the bar until he had woken up passed out on his living room sofa so Thomas had helpfully filled in most of the blanks for him.

"So are you up for it?"

"Yeah," Jesse said. "I'm just going to say hi to Rachel's dads. Where should I meet you?"

"Just come by my place and we'll have a pre-drink before meeting everyone else," Thomas told him, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Hopefully you'll have a better showing than when we drank around the world with my dad." Jesse couldn't help but laugh at Thomas's jibe.

"Believe me, so do I," Jesse replied as he backed away to make his way to Rachel's dressing room. "I'll see you in a little while." Once he reached her dressing room, he grabbed the door handle to open the door before he realized that he should probably knock. He didn't want Rachel's dads wondering why he just felt like he could waltz right into her private dressing room.

It didn't take long for Rachel to answer the door as she opened it widely to reveal her dads sitting on the couch together. When they saw Jesse standing in the doorway, they both stood up to greet him. He shook Rachel's dad's hand first. "It's nice to see you again, Mr. Berry," he told the older man.

"Jesse, please call me Samuel," Rachel's dad said.

Jesse smiled and then turned to shake her daddy's hand, "And it's good to see you too, Mr. Berry." The man raised his eyebrows at Jesse as if to tell him that he could also address him by his first name. "I mean, Bruce."

The man chuckled softly. "That's better. We were just telling Rachel how brilliant you both were tonight," Bruce said as he leaned against the counter next to Rachel. "The connection that you two have established even since opening night is something I'm not sure I've seen before. At least not like that."

Jesse looked over and smiled at Rachel who was blushing at her daddy's praise. "Rachel makes it easy," Jesse told the men. "I couldn't ask for a better co-star." Their eyes locked for a moment and Jesse did his best to ignore the all-too-familiar urge to kiss her breathless. "So have you guys been enjoying yourselves in New York so far?" he asked, taking a seat in an empty chair.

"I think we enjoy ourselves a little too much every time we come here," Samuel replied, smiling at his husband. "We went to an amazing restaurant last night and Rachel's taking us to one of her favorites tonight. You should join us."

Jesse felt a rush of warmth at the man's invitation to join their little family dinner. It meant more to Jesse than he thought Samuel even knew. "Thank you for the invitation but I'm actually going out with Thomas and some other people after I leave here."

"Oh, really?" Rachel asked, doing her best to sound nonchalant even though the raise of her eyebrows indicated that she was being anything but.

"It's the fourth annual Wild Turkey pub crawl," he told them. "However, it will in no way affect tomorrow's planned activities," he added reassuringly at the look on Rachel's face. "In fact, I will bring coffee and donuts for all of us in the morning."

"I haven't been on a pub crawl in years," Bruce remarked, his voice wistful.

"Now don't go getting any ideas," Samuel playfully told his husband. "You're not as young as you used to be."

"I don't know. I think I could hold my own," he replied, winking at Jesse.

"Well, you're more than welcome to come," Jesse offered. From the look on both Rachel and Samuel's faces, Jesse was fairly certain that wasn't going to be happening.

"Daddy…" Rachel warned.

"I'm getting death glares from my daughter and husband so I'll have to take a rain check," Bruce responded, wrapping his arm around Rachel's shoulders and squeezing lightly as he kissed the top of her head lightly.

"Sounds good," Jesse told him, smiling. "So I'll see everyone bright and early tomorrow morning then?" he asked, looking at Rachel.

"Yes, meet us in the lobby of my building," Rachel said with a nod of her head.

Without thinking, Jesse took a step forward to kiss Rachel good-bye but he stopped abruptly realizing what he had been about to do. Recovering quickly, he reached out and shook both of her fathers' hands. "Well, I will see everyone in the morning," he told them as he backed away towards the door. He opened the door, and with a smile and a wave, left Rachel's dressing room.

* * *

Two hours later, Jesse, Thomas and six of their mutual friends walked into the first stop on their pub crawl, The Black Sheep. "What do you want to drink?" Jesse asked Thomas which earned Jesse an incredulous look from his friend.

"I've got this one," Thomas told him, slapping Jesse on the shoulder as he walked over to the bartender. "Eight shots of Wild Turkey."

"Of course, what else would we have as the first drink of the night," Jesse said with a chuckle as he stood next to Thomas at the bar.

"It's a tradition," he replied, grinning at Jesse. One-by-one Thomas began handing out the shots to the group as the bartender poured them before he finally had the last one in his own hand. Everyone stood in a circle waiting for Thomas to give his toast to start the night off. "As you all know, every year I like to impart a pearl of wisdom to kick start the night's festivities. This year, I'm handing over those honors to Jesse."

Everyone cheered as Jesse looked at Thomas with wide eyes. "Um, okay… Well, apparently Thomas used up all of his pearls of wisdom last year so he has to defer to me." The group chuckled at Jesse's good-natured dig. Jesse thought for a moment before he spoke. "A wise man once told me that the worst thing you can do is worry about what you could have done."

"Jesse, buddy, there's no need to quote me," Thomas joked.

"Yeah, I've never heard anything that profound come out of your mouth, Thomas," Jesse retorted with a smirk causing everyone to laugh again.

Thomas clasped his hands to his heart overdramatically. "You wound me."

Instead of responding to his friend's playful dramatics, Jesse turned to the rest of the group to resume the toast. "So here's to living life to its fullest."

"Cheers!" the group yelled in unison before they each gulped down their shots.

"Now I'm buying. Beer?" Jesse asked Thomas as he placed his shot glass back on the bar.

"Sure, I'll have a Guinness," he replied, leaning on the bar next to his friend.

Jesse gave the bartender his order and turned to look at Thomas. "It's good to see everyone again," Jesse remarked, glancing over at their small group. "I just realized that I haven't seen a few of them in months."

"Has it really been that long?" Thomas asked as he grabbed both glasses of Guinness off of the bar and handed one to Jesse.

Jesse simply nodded his head as he took a sip of the frothy dark beer in his hand. "First there was the new show and all the prep that went into it before it actually opened, then there was Rachel and… all of that," he told him. "I know that Kellan is in a new play that just opened not too long ago that's going to be running for another couple of months. Of course, I see Neil, Robert and Kerry six days a week. What about Roselyn and Patrick?"

"Patrick is in between jobs at the moment, but he just got back from London so I have a feeling he'll be leaving us for the West End in the very near future. As for Roselyn, you really didn't hear that she just took over as Glenda in _Wicked_?" Thomas asked with an astonished look on his face. "You have been wrapped up in your own world." That earned him a light punch in the arm from Jesse.

"So… you and Roselyn?" Jesse asked, noticing the way Thomas's gaze lingered on the pretty blonde.

Thomas shook his head before taking a gulp of his beer. "So far she's failed to fall for my charms, but after tonight she won't be able to resist."

Jesse laughed at the expression on his friend's face. "You have charm?" Jesse quipped.

"Is this how you treat your best friend, Jesse St. James," Thomas exclaimed, feigning hurt. "I'll have you know that my charms have worked on many a lady," he said, eyebrows raised as he looked at his friend then added, "Just not any lately."

Jesse tried not to laugh because he knew that his friend was serious about his charms not working recently as Thomas really had had a bit of a dry spell in the dating department, but he couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face and the laughter that bubbled up in his chest. The laughter was contagious and before long Thomas was laughing right along with Jesse.

* * *

Four bars and three hours later, Jesse was definitely buzzed but had been pacing himself to keep from getting too drunk. He sat on one of the stools at the bar of the current establishment that he couldn't quite seem to remember the name of and tried to listen to the story that Patrick was currently telling Jesse and a couple of others about his recent trip to London. Off to his right, Jesse noticed Thomas and Roselyn laughing at something Thomas had just said.

It looked like his friend might have been right about something finally happening between him and Roselyn tonight. In fact, it wouldn't have surprised Jesse if they had just disappeared and gone back to Thomas's place together. He watched his friend excuse himself and as he walked past Jesse on the way to the bathroom, he gave him the thumbs up letting him know that things were indeed going the way that Thomas had hoped.

Turning back around towards the bar, Jesse waved the bartender over to order himself another drink. "Want to buy a girl a drink?" said a female voice close to his ear from behind him.

Jesse turned and smiled as Roselyn sat on the empty stool next to him. "Of course," he replied.

"Extra dirty Martini," she told the bartender after he had taken Jesse's drink order. "So I haven't had much of a chance to talk to you tonight."

"I know," Jesse agreed. "Congrats on the part."

"Thanks! It's not nearly as exciting as originating a role," she said, bumping into Jesse's shoulder playfully as she smiled at him. "I enjoy it though."

The bartender set their drinks down in front of them and Jesse handed him the money. "Keep the change," he told the bartender before turning back to Roselyn. "So what's it like playing a role that has been played by so many talented actresses?" he asked, knowing all too well what a daunting task it was to take on a role made famous by other actors.

"Well, I haven't been booed off the stage yet so that's a good sign, right?" she remarked, before they both began laughing. "So what's it like playing a role that no one ever has before? Everyone that comes along after you will always be compared to you."

"It was nerve-wracking at first," Jesse told her honestly. "But now…I've poured my heart and soul into the character and I feel like we were able to create something really special. I'm just grateful that I have a director like Edward who has valued my input from the beginning." As he continued to animatedly discuss his character and the show with Roselyn, Jesse saw Thomas coming back from the bathroom. He fully expected his friend to join in their conversation but apparently he had other ideas in mind as he mouthed to Jesse to put in a good word for him. Jesse gave him a nod of acknowledgement and chuckled softly.

"What are you laughing about?" Roselyn asked, looking around the bar.

"Thomas just being his crazy self," he offered in explanation as he nodded his head in his friend's direction. "You know, I don't think a day has gone by since I first met him where he hasn't made me laugh. Life is never dull with him around which I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but he's a great guy." He kept his tone nonchalant so it wouldn't seem quite so obvious that he was trying to talk up his friend.

Roselyn smiled as she turned to see Thomas having an animated discussion with Neil and Patrick. "Yeah, he is," she agreed before turning her attention back to Jesse. "So what about you?"

"What about me?" He backed away from her a little at the almost sultry tone in her voice. Then he thought that maybe it was just the alcohol and he had just imagined it.

"Is it true about your marital status?" She crossed her legs under the bar top so that one leg was brushing against Jesse's.

That little bit of contact was enough to let Jesse know that he hadn't been imagining things. He shifted his body away from her so that her leg was no longer touching his. Sure Roselyn had always been flirtatious but the way she was looking at him made him worry about where exactly she was going with this conversation. "Yeah, I'm getting divorced," he replied, taking a large gulp of his beer.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Jesse," Roselyn told him, laying her hand on his arm that was resting on top of the bar and brushing her thumb back and forth. "Are you doing okay?"

He moved his arm out from under her grasp and lifted his beer to his lips again. "I'm great actually. It was the best thing for both of us," he offered, not wanting to get into the specifics about the end of his marriage.

"Really?" She looked up at him through her eyelashes flirtatiously as she leaned closer to him once again. If Jesse could have backed away without falling off of his stool, he would have, just to put some distance between them. "So you're free to do what you want now." He felt her hand come to rest on his thigh. "_Who_ you want," she whispered in his ear as she began to move her hand to the inside of his thigh.

Jesse reached down and grabbed her hand with his own, stopping her movements and lifting it off of his thigh. "Roselyn, I'm flattered. Really, I am. But I have a girlfriend." He noticed her face flush in embarrassment at the rejection.

"I-I didn't mean… I'm sorry," she stumbled, clearly flustered.

"You didn't know. It's fine," Jesse reassured her. "There are only a handful of people that know."

"Well, whoever she is, she's a lucky girl," she told him, standing up. "I'll be right back. I have to run to the ladies'."

As soon as she walked away, Thomas rushed over to claim her now vacated stool. "What the hell was that all about?" he asked Jesse, obviously having watched the entire awkward scene take place.

"Just a little miscommunication," Jesse explained vaguely.

"Huh?" Thomas asked, not really getting what Jesse was trying to say.

"Apparently, she was hoping that she would be coming back to _my_ place tonight," Jesse elaborated, looking chagrinned.

"Shit, women hear that you're back on the market for ten seconds and they're practically throwing themselves at you," he replied with a shake of his head, his voice a mixture of disbelief and admiration. His face suddenly lit up as an idea occurred to him. "I think you just did me a favor, my friend." Thomas picked up his drink as he got off of the stool.

Jesse took the final gulp of his beer and set the glass back down on the bar. "Good luck," Jesse encouraged, clasping Thomas's shoulder. "I've heard that rejection from Jesse St. James can be a very traumatic event for someone." Thomas looked over at Jesse and laughed.

"Have I ever told you that you're an arrogant bastard," he chuckled.

"Not today," Jesse replied as he slipped on his leather jacket.

"That's why I love you man," Thomas told him, throwing his arm around Jesse's shoulder. "I love this guy!" he yelled to the rest of their group who all laughed at Thomas's outburst. "Where're you goin'?"

"Home," Jesse stated. "Early day tomorrow."

"The night is young, Jesse," Thomas declared loudly, motioning at the bar with his free arm. He pulled Jesse over towards the rest of their little group. "Jesse wants to leave guys!"

Jesse was met with a chorus of "No's" and "Boo's" from the group.

"See, you can't go!" Thomas exclaimed.

"I really don't…" Jesse began but was cut off by his friend.

"One more bar and then you can be a loser and go home," he insisted.

Jesse knew him all too well and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Alright. One more bar," Jesse reluctantly agreed.

"Did you hear that everyone? One more bar!" Thomas called out to the group. Jesse just laughed as everyone cheered before they downed the rest of their drinks and headed out to their next bar.

* * *

Two hours later, Jesse was in the back of a cab trying not to get sick from the buildings that were whizzing by the windows as they zipped through the streets of New York. Thomas's one bar had ended up turning into two and Jesse was completely plastered. Every time that Jesse had told him that he was leaving, Thomas would hand him another drink. He had failed miserably at his goal of not getting too drunk, but he had to admit that he'd had a good time though. He just wished that Rachel could have been there.

Jesse smiled as he thought of his girlfriend. He contemplated sending her a text to let her know he was coming over but decided that he wanted to surprise her instead.

* * *

Rachel had been trying to get to sleep for the better part of the last hour and had managed to finally feel the beginnings of sleep overtake her when she heard someone fumbling with the lock on her front door. She shot up off of the couch and rushed over to the door to see if there was an intruder only to find Jesse's curly hair as she looked through the peephole. Quickly unlocking the door, she opened it to see a very drunk Jesse standing before her.

"Rachel," he sighed, a lopsided grin on his face. Any plans that she might have had to admonish him for showing up at her door late at night and incredibly drunk, went right out the window as soon as he said her name. Before she knew it, she was enveloped in his arms as he hugged her tightly. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she buried her head in his chest.

"You weren't supposed to get this drunk," she told him, her voice muffled by his jacket.

"I know," he said, a little too loudly. "It's all–"

She cut him off. "Shh, my dads are asleep inside." She pulled back slightly and looked up at him. He released her as she reached back to close the door behind her so that they could talk out in the hallway.

"It's all Thomas's fault," he explained, slurring his words a bit.

Rachel couldn't help but smile as she looked at the goofy grin on Jesse's face. How could he still manage to be so adorable when he was so drunk? "Did he hold you down and pour the alcohol down your throat?" she teased.

Jesse contemplated Rachel's question for a moment which only made her giggle. "No," he finally answered, raising his finger as if he was about to make a point. "But he did buy them."

"Come sit down for a minute," Rachel suggested as she noticed that Jesse wasn't too steady on his feet. Lacing her fingers through his, she gently tugged him over to the hallway wall outside of her front door and they both slid down it together. As they sat on the floor, Jesse leaned his head back a little too fast and banged it against the wall pretty hard, causing Rachel to gasp before she reached up with one hand to massage his scalp where he had just hit it. "Are you okay?" she asked, trying to stifle the giggle that was trying to escape.

He merely nodded in response and leaned into her touch as she continued to gently massage his head. "Hi," he said softly, turning his head to look at Rachel.

"Hi," she returned as she reached up with her free hand to lightly brush a wayward curl off of his forehead. Dropping both of her hands back to her lap, she scooted closer to him and leaned her own head against the wall as she looked up at him. "Did you have fun tonight?"

He nodded before answering her question. "Yep, but Thomas is probably having even more fun right now," he whispered conspiratorially.

"Why's that?"

"He and Roselyn went back to his place together," Jesse stated.

"Roselyn Summerfield? The new Glenda in _Wicked_? That Roselyn?" Rachel asked.

"That's the one," he confirmed. "She wanted to go home with _me_ though." Jesse laughed as he remembered Roselyn hitting on him.

"Is that so?" she asked, her voice taking on a distinct edge.

Even in his drunken state he could tell that Rachel was visibly upset by that bit of news. Reaching his hand up, he cupped her cheek as he brought his forehead to rest against hers. "I told her I'm taken." His thumb rubbed a soothing circle on the apple of her cheek. "And happy. Extremely happy."

"Right answer," she whispered, craning her neck just enough so that their lips met in a chaste kiss.

As she broke the kiss and pulled back just a bit, Jesse grabbed her face in his hands and their lips came crashing together. She twisted her body so that she was now facing him and draped her legs over his outstretched ones as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her lips parted, a sigh escaping her as she felt Jesse bury his fingers in her hair. As her tongue caressed his she could taste the alcohol but didn't care. All she wanted was to be close to Jesse. It took every bit of self-control that she had in her to not straddle his lap and rub herself against him.

After a few moments, Rachel reluctantly pulled back so they could both catch their breath. Noticing the slight frown on Jesse's face, she asked, "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to leave," he confessed, gently massaging her thigh that was still draped over his lap.

She sighed at his words and leaned her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. "I don't want you to leave either, but it's only for a few more days." They sat in silence for a little while just holding each other. As Rachel felt her eyes begin to get heavy with sleep, she sat up only to see that Jesse was also starting to nod off. "Jesse," she said, shaking him slightly to waken him. "You have to go."

Standing up, she grabbed Jesse's hands to help him up off of the floor. Once he was on his feet, he wrapped his arms around her once again. "I need a good night kiss," he whispered into her ear. Pulling back, Rachel stood on her tiptoes and planted a sweet kiss on Jesse's lips. A wave of contentment washed over her as she watched his face light up with a blissful smile. "Love you," he told her.

"I love you too," she replied without hesitation. "Call me when you get to Kurt's so I know you got there safely." Jesse nodded his agreement. Standing on her tiptoes one more time, she kissed him again. "Good night."

"'Night," he said, backing away slowly towards the elevator. Rachel stood in the hallway until Jesse disappeared into the elevator. The moment the doors closed, she missed him already.

Going back inside, she locked the door behind her and grabbed her phone off of the coffee table before she lay back down on the couch. She rested her phone on her chest as she closed her eyes and waited for Jesse's call. The next thing she knew her phone was vibrating and she saw Jesse's name on her screen. Rachel realized that she must have actually dozed off while she had been waiting to hear from her boyfriend.

"You're home?" Rachel asked softly as she answered her phone, keeping her voice just above a whisper.

"I'm at Kurt's," he responded.

"Good. Don't forget to set your alarm," she reminded him.

Jesse put his phone on speaker as he set his alarm. "Setting it now," he told her.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning then." She paused for a second. "Thank you for calling me. I love you."

"I love you," he replied. "Sweet dreams."

* * *

**Author's Note: **First, I have to say, when I decided that I wanted to actually use Rachel's dads first names I thought that Glee had possibly named them on the show, but everywhere I looked Hiram and Leroy were nowhere to be found except in fic. So, that's why they have different names in this than what some of you may be used to.

Also, because it took me so long to update I was going to make this chapter super long for you guys but then it just kept getting longer and longer so I decided to break it into two parts. This seemed like a great place to break the chapter up. What that means is that you should be getting another update from me very soon. Soon as in days, not weeks. :)


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Note: **I have to say that I'm so glad that there are still so many of you enjoying this fic. So this chapter kind of ended up taking on a life of its own when I was doing my read through. One part in particular. ;) Thank you to everyone who has favorited, alerted and especially reviewed. I really do enjoy reading your feedback. I'm curious to find out what everyone thinks about this chapter so review and let me know. I hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

Thanksgiving morning, Jesse gulped down his still hot coffee as he walked into Rachel's apartment building with donuts and coffee for everyone as promised. It had been tough actually getting out of bed with the monster hangover that he had, but he had forced himself to do it. He had taken a shower, gotten dressed then had a steaming cup of coffee along with a couple of aspirin. Looking at his watch as he walked further into the lobby of the building, he realized that he had somehow managed to be early.

Sitting down in one of the lobby chairs, he set the coffee and donuts on a glass side table just before he leaned his head back to close his eyes for a moment. He was thankful that he could feel his headache beginning to ebb just a bit from the combination of the copious amounts of caffeine he had already consumed and the aspirin. He lifted his head as he heard the elevator ding and saw Rachel and her dads emerge.

"Ha, I was right. You owe me ten bucks," Jesse heard Bruce say to Samuel as they approached him.

Jesse stood up to greet everyone, shaking both of the Berry men's hands before hugging Rachel briefly. Leaning down, he grabbed the carrier with the coffees in them to hand them out to everyone. He handed Rachel's to her first, then one to Samuel and finally Bruce. "So what were you right about?" Jesse asked Bruce, curious about the nature of the two men's bet.

"He thought that you would be at least fifteen minutes late," he explained, pointing at Samuel. "I knew that you'd be here. Although, I'm glad we didn't bet on the condition that you'd be in." Everyone, including Jesse, chuckled.

"This is ten times better than I was when I first woke up this morning," Jesse admitted truthfully as he grabbed the small box of donuts off of the little table next to the chair he had been occupying moments before. "Donut?"

"Don't mind if I do," Bruce accepted, reaching for the box of donuts to take one out. "Anyone else?" he asked, trying to give the box to either Rachel or Samuel but they both shook their heads no. "Well, more for me and Jesse then." He winked at Jesse as he closed the box of donuts eliciting a smile from Jesse.

"So, are we ready?" Jesse asked.

"Yep," Rachel replied with a big smile unable to contain her excitement. They walked out of the building and headed towards the nearest subway station so they could get to Central Park West.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, they had made their way through the crowd awaiting the parade and found the perfect spot. All they had to do was settle in and wait for the parade to start. "I'm ready for my donut now, Daddy," Rachel grinned up at her father, holding out her hand for the box. "I'm starving."

"About that..." Bruce began as he looked at his daughter with a guilty expression. "I kind of ate the rest of them on the subway ride. You know how large crowds make me hungry."

Rachel's mouth dropped open unable to hide her disbelief that he had actually eaten all of the donuts.

Bruce cracked a smile, unable to keep up the act. "I'm just kidding," he laughed, handing the box to Rachel.

She smacked him in the arm before grabbing the box from him. "That wasn't funny," she told him as she opened the box and took a donut out. "Or convincing," she added before taking a bite of a donut.

"Your face said otherwise, my dear daughter," Bruce teased, nudging Rachel playfully. "See, you're not the only actor in this family."

"The only _good_ actor," she quipped, the corner of her mouth quirking up into a slight smile.

Jesse couldn't keep the grin from his own face as he watched the banter between father and daughter. He looked over at Samuel who returned his smile as he too seemed amused by his husband and his daughter.

"Jesse, please settle this dispute," Bruce appealed, his tone light. "As a non-biased third party, I'm a good actor, right? You believed it. She definitely believed it." He nodded his head in Rachel's direction.

He looked back and forth between Rachel and Bruce unsure of whom to side with: his girlfriend or her father. "He _was_ pretty convincing, Rach," Jesse finally admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Ha!" Bruce exclaimed, a triumphant grin on his face.

Rachel just shook her head and rolled her eyes dramatically before taking another bite of her donut. "You have no idea what kind of monster you just created," Rachel told Jesse causing him to chuckle.

Time seemed to fly by over the next forty-five minutes as they waited for the parade to start. They were all completely immersed in lively conversation until Jesse noticed Rachel's eyes get wide as she tugged on his leather jacket then pointed at the balloon off in the distance making its way down the street towards them. As the beginning of the parade reached them, he watched as Rachel seemed to completely light up with excitement. He thought it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen, and he loved the fact that even though she was an adult she could still tap into her inner child and truly enjoy the moment.

As Jesse watched the balloons pass, he looked up at the skyline and stared at the building that would soon be their new home. "What are you looking at?" Rachel asked, breaking into his thoughts. She looked up to see if she could follow his line of sight.

"Next year, we're going to watch this from our new home," he told her in her ear just loud enough so that she could hear him over the cacophony of the parade and all of its spectators.

An incredible warmth spread throughout Rachel as she heard Jesse's words, and she smiled up at him desperately wanting to kiss him. She wished for a brief moment that her dads were standing in front of them rather than being just on the other side of Jesse, a couple of people away. So she did the only thing that she could do. Without looking down, Rachel grasped for Jesse's hand and entwined her fingers through his.

As she felt Jesse squeeze her hand gently, she looked up and smiled at him. "I love you," he mouthed.

Rachel wasn't sure if it was the atmosphere of the parade combined with the simplicity of their little moment or something entirely intangible, but she knew that it was one of life's rare yet perfect moments that she would look back on fifty years later and remember how she had fallen even deeper in love with the man that she didn't think it was possible to love more than she already did. "I love you too," she said, returning his sentiments.

* * *

When they had arrived back at her apartment after the parade, preparations for dinner had begun. Always one to take charge, Rachel had assigned everyone a task to help expedite things along. As soon as all of the side dishes were prepared and placed in the refrigerator until the time came for them to stick them in the oven to bake and the turker had been put in the oven to cook, Bruce opened a bottle of wine and everyone went into the living room to relax for a little while. Conversation and laughter filled the living room for the next few hours, and it couldn't have made Rachel happier.

Once they finally sat down for dinner, Rachel remained standing as she looked around at the three most important men in her life. "Since this is my first time hosting Thanksgiving dinner, I wanted to start off the Berry family tradition of things to be thankful for. I know it's only supposed to be one but I have a few this year," Rachel explained. She picked up her wine glass from the table before she began. "I'm thankful that I'm fortunate enough to be living out my dream of starring in a Broadway show. I'm also so fortunate to be blessed with two of the most amazing parents that a girl could ask for. But most of all, I'm thankful for love, in all its various forms." She let her gaze rest on Jesse for a brief moment as she finished and took a sip of her wine before sitting down.

Rachel looked to her right at her daddy and waited for him to speak. "I guess it's my turn," Bruce said with a sly grin at his daughter. "I'm thankful that you finally dumped that loser Donovan."

His words made Rachel's mouth drop open in shock before she smacked him on the arm lightly. "Daddy!" she chided but was unable to keep the smile off of her face.

"Well, it's true," he chuckled. He turned to look at Samuel letting him know that it was his turn.

"Was that really it?" Samuel asked.

"Of course it was," Bruce replied, still grinning. "I did _not_ like that guy." Jesse and Rachel both laughed softly at her daddy's words, but Samuel merely shook his head in disapproval.

Samuel thought for a moment before he finally spoke. "I'm thankful for days like today when we get to be together as a family," Samuel told them. "I hope you know that includes you now, Jesse." Jesse smiled in response and raised his glass to the man in silent acknowledgement.

"Jesse, the pressure is on you now," Bruce teased as Jesse thought of what he wanted to say.

"I'm thankful for second chances," he said, looking over at Rachel as he spoke. "And knowing that when life gives you a second chance, you have to take it. No matter what."

Rachel raised her glass, smiling at each of the men sitting at the table. "Happy Thanksgiving!" she exclaimed before leaning over the table and clinking her glass against everyone else's.

* * *

As they were all cleaning up the dishes from dinner, Samuel pulled Jesse aside. "How about we leave them to it and you and I go smoke a couple of cigars," he said, taking out two cigars from his jacket pocket that was draped over the back of the couch.

"Jesse, those cigars are contraband. He smuggled them back in his luggage when he came back from a conference in Toronto. I'm not sure you want to be smoking them," Bruce quipped as he walked by them on his way to the sink with one of the casserole dishes.

Jesse took one of the proffered cigars from Samuel and examined it in his hand. "A Cuban, huh?" Samuel nodded in affirmation. "I'll grab my jacket and we can go up to the roof."

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Bruce called out as soon both men were heading out the door causing both Jesse and Samuel to laugh.

Jesse tried not to be nervous about the real motivation for Samuel wanting to spend some one-on-one time with him. He wondered if perhaps he and Rachel hadn't been as discreet as he had thought they were being. Although, he was sure that what he had said at dinner about being thankful for second chances didn't escape either of the perceptive men.

As soon as they were up on the roof, they walked over to the edge and leaned against it as they clipped the closed end off of the cigars so they could light them. They both stood there in comfortable silence enjoying their cigars. "I love this city," Jesse remarked as he blew out some smoke and looked out at Manhattan.

"Are you in love with my daughter?" Samuel asked bluntly.

Jesse didn't want to lie to him and he was pretty sure that Samuel already knew the answer to his question already, so without hesitation he replied, "Yes." He hoped that Rachel wouldn't be too angry with him for telling her dad the truth but he felt like he owed it to both of Rachel's fathers to be honest with them. "I love her more than I've ever loved anyone or anything."

Samuel nodded as he looked at Jesse evenly. "I take it that she's the reason you're getting divorced."

"Yes and no," Jesse replied truthfully. "My marriage was over long before Rachel came back into my life, but it was because of Rachel that I took the necessary steps to end it." Jesse paused for a moment before continuing. "I love your daughter, sir. She makes me happy."

"And I can see that you make her happy," Samuel remarked. "My daughter's happiness is the only thing that matters to me." Samuel turned his head to look out at the city once again and take a puff from his cigar. "Granted, this isn't the… ideal situation that any father would want for his daughter," he added.

"I know it's not. Believe me, I wish things had been different," Jesse agreed before bringing the cigar to his lips once again. "For both of us. But I walked away from her once and it was my one great regret…I couldn't do it again."

The older man nodded in understanding knowing all too well what Jesse's walking away had done to Rachel all those years ago. "Just a warning, Jesse. If you break my daughter's heart again…" he trailed off, not needing to finish the sentence.

"I understand, but you don't have to worry, sir. She's my present and future," Jesse reassured Samuel.

Samuel turned and smiled at the younger man. "I'm a parent, Jesse. It's my job to worry," he explained.

* * *

Meanwhile, downstairs in Rachel's apartment a very similar conversation was being had. "So you and Jesse, huh?" Bruce asked as he handed Rachel a casserole dish to dry off.

Rachel laughed nervously. "What? No, we're just friends," she denied unconvincingly. She may have mastered the showface over the years, but she had never been able to lie outright to either of her dads.

"Honey, you don't have to lie to me. The way you two look at each other. It's obvious. You're in love," he told her.

She looked up at her daddy, tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't want you to think badly of him…or me. I love him, daddy. So much. I want to marry him and have his children and grow old together…" she started rambling.

"Rachel," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders and stopping her before she could go on. "I'm not judging either of you. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide anything from us."

"I didn't want to lie to you," she replied, tears falling down her cheeks. "But it's just the circumstances under which Jesse and I began our relationship… I thought it would make you not like him. And, Daddy, I want you to love him."

Pulling Rachel to him, he wrapped his arms around her and enveloped her in a hug. "If you love him, then so do I. By the way he looks at you, he obviously loves you," he told her, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "I've never seen you this happy, honey. You light up whenever he's around. How could I not love him?" He kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you," she sniffled into his chest.

"For what?" he asked, stroking her hair.

She pulled back to look up at him. "For being you."

He kissed her on the cheek before releasing her from his grasp and going back to washing the rest of the dishes. Rachel wiped her tears away with the dish towel that was still in her hand.

* * *

By the time Jesse and Samuel came back downstairs, all of the dishes were done and the leftovers had been put away. "Who's ready for some pumpkin cheesecake?" Bruce asked, opening the refrigerator. "Jesse, wait until you have a slice. You won't ever be able to eat pumpkin pie again."

"So Rachel's told me," Jesse remarked, taking a seat on the couch.

"Daddy, I'll do it," Rachel offered, holding her hand out for the cake knife.

"You go sit down and I'll bring some to everyone," he told her as he cut into the cheesecake.

As Rachel walked into the living room, she stood there for a moment unsure of what to do. She wondered if both of her dads knew about her and Jesse. Surely they had discussed it sometime over the last couple of days. When she started to sit down in a chair opposite the couch just to be safe, her dad spoke up. "Rachel, you can sit next to Jesse." She looked back and forth between Jesse and her dad, still hesitant despite his words.

Finally, Jesse reached out and grabbed her hand, gently tugging her towards him. She plopped down on the couch, still holding onto Jesse's hand. "So was this divide and conquer?" she asked.

Her daddy laughed as he handed two plates with slices of cheesecake to both Jesse and Rachel. It was her dad that answered though. "We thought that it was probably best if we talked to you individually. We hoped that it would make it easier for you to tell us the truth."

"And you're not…disappointed?" she asked her dad.

"No, I'm not," he replied as he took one of the plates that his husband had just brought back with him to the living room. Rachel felt like an immense weight had been lifted off of her shoulders with her dad's words.

Sitting down in the chair that Rachel had been going to sit in just moments earlier, Bruce took a bite of the cheesecake. It made Rachel smile as she watched him close his eyes and savor the bite. "What do you think, Jesse? It's delicious, right?" he asked, opening his eyes again to look at Jesse.

Jesse nodded in affirmation. "You were right. Way better than pumpkin pie," he replied, smiling at Rachel affectionately.

"Would I lie to you?" she asked, looking up at him innocently.

"Well, with your cooking, I can't always be too sure," he teased. The Berry men laughed at Jesse's playful dig at Rachel's cooking.

"This is baking," she corrected, an overly dramatic pout on her lips. "And my cooking is just fine."

"It is," he agreed, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and giving her a squeeze.

"So Jesse, Rachel was telling us that you just bought a new apartment," Samuel said, changing the subject.

"I did. We were actually pretty close to it today when we were watching the parade," he told them. "I should be closing on it hopefully before Christmas."

"You guys should see it. It's absolutely gorgeous," she gushed as she thought of their new home. "It has _the_ most amazing view."

"So you've seen it?" her dad asked. He didn't know why he had thought that she wouldn't have.

"Of course. I helped Jesse with his apartment search," she explained, looking back and forth between her dads. An internal battle waged as she wondered if she should divulge the real reason why she had been a part of the apartment hunt other than her excellent taste. She decided to go all in. "It's going to be my home too," she added.

Her fathers exchanged uneasy glances. "Rachel, you know that we're happy that you're happy, but don't you think that maybe living together right now is rushing into things a bit," Samuel posed, ever the voice of reason.

A frown creased her forehead as she looked at her dad. "No," was her immediate rebuttal. "I thought you were okay with us being together."

"We are. All your dad is trying to say, honey, is that you both are just getting out of long-term relationships," her daddy spoke up before his husband could. "It might do you some good to have a little space to yourselves."

"I thought _you_ would understand, Daddy" she frowned at him, slightly hurt by what she felt was his lack of support.

Bruce was about to reply to his daughter when he heard Jesse begin to speak. "Samuel," he said, looking at Rachel's dad. "Bruce," he turned to look at her other father. "I know that mine and Rachel's relationship has been…" Jesse tried to think of the best way possible to describe their relationship. "Unorthodox. It took ten years for us to find our way back to each other. This is our chance to get it right this time. There isn't a question in my mind about where our relationship is going."

A look of pure love was all over Rachel's face. Bolstered by his words, she leaned over and kissed him for the first time in front of her fathers. She felt Jesse smile just before she pulled away. "I love you," she told him softly. Threading her fingers in between Jesse's, she turned to look at both of her dads. "This is what I want. Can't you just trust me?" she appealed to them.

Samuel still seemed a bit concerned despite his daughter's plea, but before he could say anything more, his husband took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as he shook his head slightly. Bruce didn't want their near-perfect Thanksgiving to end in a fight. Silent understanding passed between the two men and finally it was Bruce who spoke for both of them. "So we'll have our own bedroom the next time we come to New York, then?" he clarified, a twinkle in his eye. His response garnered a smile from his daughter as she nodded.

* * *

"Are you sure you're not going to feel weird with your dads knowing that you're spending the night with me?" Jesse asked as they walked through front door of Kurt's apartment later on that night, kicking his shoes off next to the door.

"Yes, I'm sure," she told him, dropping her small overnight bag on the floor as she walked further into the apartment. "I'm actually glad that my dads know about us now." Walking into the living room, she shrugged off her jacket and tossed it on a chair before unzipping her boots and slipping them and her socks off of her feet. As Rachel stood back up, she felt Jesse come up behind her and wrap his hands around her waist, kissing and nibbling on her neck playfully.

"Did you enjoy your Thanksgiving, Miss Berry?" he asked, lips pressed against her temple.

"_Our_ Thanksgiving," she corrected. "And it was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had. The fact that I get to end the day in your arms just makes it perfect."

"I hope you didn't waste any space in that bag packing pajamas," he said against her skin. She shook her head 'no' in response. "I've missed you." Jesse rested his chin on the crook of her neck as he ran his hand up under her shirt and rubbed the smooth skin of her stomach lightly. Even though they had seen each other every day since Rachel's dads had come to stay with her, it just hadn't been the same.

Rachel sighed contentedly as she tilted her head back to rest it on his shoulder. "I've missed you," she echoed. "I just haven't had a good night's sleep without you." Then she added teasingly, "Or maybe it's because I've been sleeping on the couch. I'm not sure."

"Yeah, it's definitely me," he scoffed, nudging her slightly.

She turned her head and smiled at him. "Hmm, maybe. Although, my couch is pretty comfortable so you're probably right. So what exactly did you miss?" she asked, snaking her arm up and scratching her nails lightly across the nape of his neck.

"Your lips," he told her before placing a soft kiss on them. "Your skin," he emphasized his words by letting his hand travel across her lower abdomen, his fingertips dipping just below the waistband of her skirt.

"Mm hmm," she murmured.

"Your perfect breasts." She leaned back into his embrace as he slipped one hand inside her shirt and bra to fondle one of her breasts. Jesse was rewarded with a small whimper in response as he rubbed her nipple into a hard peak between his forefinger and his thumb.

Her entire body seemed to be humming at his touch. The way she was reacting to him, it seemed like it had been weeks and not just days since they had last been together. She craned her neck as she felt Jesse's tongue dart out to taste her skin while he grasped her other breast in his hand. Just the simple ways that he was touching and kissing her made her throb and ache with such a powerful need for him to touch her in her most intimate of places.

As if he had been reading her mind, Jesse ran his free hand down the side of her leg and then up under her short skirt before he slipped his hand inside of her panties. "God, Rach, you're so wet," he groaned as he parted her slick folds, his own arousal making his jeans almost painfully restricting. Rachel arched her back so that she could feel Jesse's hardness pressed against her from behind. A low moan escaped her lips as he slipped a couple of fingers inside of her. Gripping his hips with her hands, she rubbed against the bulge in his pants eliciting a moan of pleasure from Jesse.

"Make love to me," she pleaded breathlessly, wanting to have him inside of her. At her words, Jesse stopped what he was doing and removed his hand from under her skirt. Rachel twisted around and rather than tearing at his clothes like she wanted to, she locked eyes with him as she began to unbutton his shirt. She ran her hands up his torso and over his shoulders, pushing his shirt off of him and letting it fall to the floor. When he tried to reach for her own shirt, she batted his hand away lightly. "Not yet," she told him with a coy look before she gripped the hem of his undershirt and pulled it up slowly.

Her lips followed the path of his shirt, leaving a heated trail up his body that finally ended at his neck as she tugged it over his head to remove it completely. She tossed his undershirt towards the middle of the living room, giving him an incredibly wicked and sexy grin. Jesse didn't even have a chance to try and once again remove Rachel's own shirt because her hands were already unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. She pushed them down his legs just enough so they would fall to the ground on their own and Jesse could step out of them.

"Why am I the only one who barely has any clothes on? I think I should do something about that," he told her as he pulled her flush against him. She shook her head 'no' before he watched her slide his boxers down his body, all the while keeping her eyes locked on his. As she stood back up, she raked her gaze over his obvious arousal and licked her lips as she looked back up at Jesse.

Then she slipped out of his grasp quickly with a small giggle. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked her, his voice full of desire.

He watched as she grasped the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over head. Her mouth quirked up on one side as she dangled the shirt between her fingers before dropping it on the floor beside her. Slowly, she backed away from him and began to unzip her skirt. Raising her hand, she crooked a single finger and beckoned him to follow her as she stepped out of the skirt that had pooled at her feet. Jesse knew that she wanted to be in control so he followed her just as slowly as they made their way towards the bedroom. She reached behind her and unclasped her bra as she made her way down the hall, taking it off and tossing it at Jesse who caught it with a wolfish grin.

Rachel teasingly played with the lace sides of her thongs as she moved into the bedroom, thoroughly enjoying being in control. She backed up to the bed and braced her hands on the mattress, waiting for Jesse to make his way over to her. "Do I finally get to undress you now?" he asked, reaching out and letting his fingertips graze down the side of her body.

"Yes," she answered, closing her eyes as his thumbs hooked the lace of her thongs and dragged them down her body. She felt the warmth of Jesse's breath on her skin as he ran his hands up her legs. Her breathing quickened as he pressed his lips against the inside of her thigh. He began to make a small trail inching ever closer to her heat, but Rachel stopped him and gently tugged him up to her face, wanting so badly to kiss him.

She got her wish as Jesse stood up and grabbed her face in between his hands, their lips crashing together. His tongue caressed hers as he deepened their kiss. Pulling back, he kissed her mouth once, twice, three times before breaking away completely.

Jesse released her face from his hands and left Rachel wondering where he was going as he moved away from her only to walk around to the other side of the bed. She watched as he pulled the comforter all the way down the bed and draped it over the footboard. Finally, he made his way back over to her side of the bed and stood in front of her again. "Lay on your stomach," Jesse commanded huskily, raking his eyes up and down Rachel's naked body.

Rachel didn't think it was possible for her to be more turned on than she was but the tone of his voice and the way he was looking at her did just that. Turning around, she slowly climbed up onto the bed, never taking her eyes off of him as she did it. She lay diagonally across the bed, propping herself up on her elbows and waited for Jesse to join her. As she looked back at him, she watched as he ran his hands up the back of her legs, almost reverently, before he climbed on the bed himself.

"You are perfect," she heard Jesse say as he gave her butt a gentle squeeze. Then he continued his silent worship of her body as his hands and lips grazed her naked back. "So perfect," he whispered into her ear as he braced one hand on the bed beside her and positioned himself just at her entrance.

She was about to beg him again to make love to her when he pushed inside of her, filling her completely. "Ohh, God," she cried out in pleasure as he pulled out almost entirely and drove into her again. Rachel could already begin to feel herself unravel with the angle that he was entering her and how he was hitting just the right spot. His lips brushed against her back as he hovered over her and their bodies rocked together with their synchronized movements.

Rachel craned her neck as Jesse gently fisted his hands in her hair, straightening a bit and quickening his thrusts. Then abruptly all movement stopped and as Rachel felt Jesse pull out of her she whimpered slightly, missing the feel of him inside of her. "I want to watch you on top of me," he said as he moved to lie down on the bed beside her.

Somehow able to push up off of the bed even though her limbs were beginning to feel like jelly, Rachel got to her knees and straddled Jesse. She curled her small hand around his hard shaft and slowly guided him into her. Jesse gripped her hips as Rachel braced her hands on his chest and began to move. He was always struck by how absolutely gorgeous she was but most especially when she was at her most vulnerable like she was at that moment as she began to come undone. He ran his hands up her sides and over her breasts before he finally grasped the sides of her neck gently and ran his thumb across her bottom lip that hung slightly open. She looked down at him, eyes full of lust as she wrapped her lips around his thumb and sucked on it lightly.

His hips rocked against her erratically as he pulled her down towards him and ran his now-wet thumb across her cheek. Their lips crashed together in a bruising kiss as they continued to move together. In one swift motion, Jesse rolled them both over so that Rachel was underneath him as he deepened the kiss, effectively pressing her into the bed.

The sounds of their ragged breathing filled the space between them as they broke their kiss. Rachel ran her nails down Jesse's back as she hooked her legs around his hips. Darting her tongue out, she licked his lips that were still bumping into her own slightly. She gripped her arms even tighter around Jesse as she felt herself on the edge of release. Jesse buried his face in the crook of neck as they moved in perfect harmony.

"Let go," Rachel whispered breathlessly, burying her fingers in his hair. Finally letting himself go, he brought Rachel right along with him.

* * *

They lay face-to-face, fingers intertwined as they talked quietly, both unwilling to give themselves over to the sleep that their bodies so desperately craved. "Are you sure it doesn't bother you that your dad doesn't seem to be okay with us living together?" Jesse asked.

Rachel nodded slightly before answering. "I love my dad and I'm happy that both of my dads know about us now, but this is my life." She thought about what she had just said and corrected herself. "_Our_ life. I know that he means well and he's just looking out for me, but he's wrong."

"How so?" He knew why he felt her dad was wrong, but he was curious about what Rachel really thought about their earlier conversation.

"Time isn't always a good indicator as to whether or not you can know if you belong with someone. Lord knows that I spent years of my life trying to force something with a man who was never truly going to make me happy. A part of me wondered if I had just been living in a fairy tale my whole life thinking that love was supposed to be a certain way." She moved her head closer to Jesse's on the pillow so that their foreheads were touching. "Then you came waltzing back into my life and I realized that I hadn't been wrong about love. I'd just been wrong in the choices that I'd made. Until you that is."

Jesse reached up and traced the lines of her face before he rested his finger underneath her chin. Without a word, he leaned forward and their lips met in a sweet kiss.


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Note: **This chapter probably would've been posted a week ago if I wouldn't have gotten sick when I went out of town last week. Oh, and a big thanks to **jandjsalmon **for giving me my 400th review. :) As always, I love hearing what you guys think so leave me a review. Enjoy!

* * *

The Sunday after Thanksgiving, Jesse, Rachel and her dads sat in a corner of a bustling restaurant just a couple of blocks away from Rachel's apartment enjoying breakfast together. "I wish that you guys could make it back to the city for the cabaret next weekend," Rachel remarked before taking a bite of her spinach and feta egg white omelet.

"We were hoping that we could make it work, but I have a major case that I have to prepare for and I'm going to have to work next weekend as well as put in some late nights this week," Bruce explained, reaching over and giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Do you think you can get Kurt to make us a bootleg?" he asked with a mischievous smile on his face.

"Daddy!" she admonished, slightly appalled by his request of having Kurt illegally film their performance. "I can't ask Kurt to do that." She shook her head firmly.

"Don't act like you don't watch a bootleg of at least one of your favorite Broadway shows once a week," Jesse piped up next to her. He raised his eyebrow at her as she opened her mouth to retort and she quickly shut it again with huff. "I'll ask Kurt," he told her dads.

"Suck up," Rachel muttered under her breath which only made Jesse smile.

"Thank you, Jesse," Bruce replied, winking playfully at Rachel who merely rolled her eyes and dramatically stabbed her fork at her omelet once again. "Rachel's already told us what your duet is going to be and what song she chose for herself, but she never divulged what you're going to sing."

"That's because I haven't told her what song I'm singing," Jesse smirked as he looked over at Rachel. She had tried to get it out of him many times over the last couple of weeks but nothing had worked. She had tried the direct approach of just asking him. That hadn't worked. She had tried to be subtle about it by casually throwing out how great he would sound if he sang a certain song just to gauge his reaction to the song that she named. That hadn't worked either. She had even tried to coax it out of him post-coital once or twice, hoping to catch him off guard in a lust-filled haze. Nothing had worked.

"It's that big of a secret?" Samuel asked.

Jesse shrugged. "Not really. I just don't want to tell her," he said, nodding his head towards Rachel who had a slight pout on her lips. "I can tell you guys though." He leaned over and whispered his song to Samuel who then told his husband.

"You know, Jesse, I like you more and more every day," Bruce told him.

Rachel sat there, her eyes darting around to look at the three men sitting at the table with her waiting for one of her dads to tell her what Jesse had said. "Well…" she finally said to them expectantly. Both of her dads shrugged in response. "You are really not going to tell me what he just told you?"

"Honey, it's not my secret to tell," her dad replied unable to keep the smile from his face.

She turned to Jesse. "Aren't you concerned that you're building my expectations up too much," she said pointedly. "It could end up being a huge letdown. I could hate the song."

"Oh, no, you're going to love this one," he reassured her, putting his arm around her shoulder. "Trust me. I picked it especially for you." He leaned over and kissed her on the temple.

Watching his daughter visibly soften at Jesse's display of affection made Samuel's heart swell with happiness. Seeing them together over the last couple of days had made some of his doubts about them living together dissipate. Granted, he still had some reservations but he was starting to realize that maybe he had been wrong. "So are you two going to be able to make it back to Lima for Hanukkah?" he asked.

"We had talked about maybe flying in Sunday night and flying back here Tuesday morning," Rachel responded looking up at Jesse who nodded in affirmation. "I know it's only a couple of nights and it's not the last night of Hanukkah but we've always spent Hanukkah together and I don't want this year to be any different."

"So Jesse you just spent Thanksgiving with the Berry family, are you sure you can handle a Berry family Hanukkah?" Bruce asked.

"I can't think of a better way to spend my very first Hanukkah," Jesse told him, a smile lighting up his face as he looked around at all of them.

* * *

"How was it being back in Lima?" Rachel asked Kurt as they looked at dresses in Bergdorf's the next day. Rachel had recruited Kurt to help her find the perfect dress for the cabaret and they had decided to meet up at Bergdorf's to see what they could find before grabbing lunch. She knew that he could help her pick something completely flawless that would look perfect on her.

"It was good," he told her. "It was nice to see my family for a little while, but I'm _so_ glad to be back in New York." Kurt and Rachel both shared a knowing look. "I like visiting but the mere thought of still living there is suffocating."

Rachel understood exactly what Kurt was saying. The first time she had come back from Ann Arbor for the summer after her first year at Michigan, three weeks in she had wanted to head back to school already. That had been her last entire summer in Lima. The longest period of time that she had spent in the town that she had grown up in since then was a couple of weeks for winter and summer breaks.

"And how is your family?" she asked, pulling the skirt of a dress out that was on the rack so she could get a better look at it.

"Great. My dad and Carol are the happiest grandparents in the world. And parenthood definitely agrees with Finn and Quinn which is kind of strange because I've always kind of thought of Finn as a big kid himself," he replied before taking a dress off of another rack and holding it up. He obviously thought that it might look great on Rachel as he kept the dress in his arms and walked over to the Alice + Olivia rack that Rachel was currently perusing.

"And your nephew?"

"He's adorable," he beamed before adding, "Granted, he doesn't do much more than eat, sleep and poop right now."

Rachel giggled as she looked at Kurt who scrunched his face up as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. "I take it you experienced the last one first hand," she teased.

"Don't remind me," he replied dramatically. "It was awful. I was gagging so much that I literally almost threw up on him." He shook himself as if to rid himself of the memory which only caused Rachel to laugh harder.

"And people think that _I'm_ the drama queen." As she pushed the dresses apart she stopped at a black, ruched mini-dress. "I _love_ this. I have to try it on," she told him, excitedly. The clerk came over and took the two dresses that Kurt and Rachel currently had in their hands to put them in a dressing room for Rachel while they continued to browse.

"So you haven't told me, how did everything go with your dads? Did you and Jesse manage to keep your hands and eyes off of each other long enough for them to not suspect anything?" he asked as they went to look at some Donna Karan cocktail dresses.

"I thought we had been subtle and that they wouldn't notice anything, but after Thanksgiving dinner my dad went with Jesse to the roof to 'smoke cigars'," she explained, using air quotes.

"Divide and conquer, huh?"

"Yep," she nodded while she continued to look at the dresses. "I should have known what they were up to."

"Since you're not in tears as you're telling me this, I'm guessing that they were perfectly fine with you and Jesse being together."

"Well, they were until I told them over dessert that Jesse and I are moving in together," she groused.

"Were you off your meds because that's the only reason that I can think of where that might have seemed like a brilliant idea." She shot him a dirty look, so he grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Honey, you're supposed to ease your way into the deep end, not dive headfirst into it. You should have let them get used to the idea of you and Jesse being together before dropping that little nugget on them."

She shrugged him off and wandered over to look at some dresses on another rack. "Well, they may have had their reservations at first, but they're fine with it now," she told him haughtily.

"No need to get all bitchy," he said in a light tone that contrasted his words as he bumped his hip into hers.

Rachel couldn't keep the smile off her lips as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Your bed is very comfortable, by the way," she quipped.

"Please do _not_ put the mental image of you and Jesse having sex on my bed in my head," he quickly interjected before she could say anything more.

"But Thanksgiving night was–" Whatever she had been about to say was muffled as Kurt put his hand over her mouth.

"Rachel Barbra Berry," he admonished in a low voice. She rolled her eyes and he heard her "fine" even though his hand was still over her mouth. Finally he took his hand away but let it linger near her face for a moment so he could be sure she wouldn't say something just to mess with him. He should have known better than to think that she wouldn't want to get the last word.

"Your sheets should smell nice and clean," she said.

"Really?" he asked in an annoyed tone. Cocking her head to the side, she smiled a not-so-innocent smile and shrugged her shoulders.

"By the way, thank you for letting Jesse stay at your apartment for the holiday," she told him, her tone sincere.

He waited a beat to see if she would add something sexual to her thanks but as he looked at her, she just smiled up at him warmly. "You're welcome," he replied, returning her smile before he turned back to the rack that they were currently looking at. Suddenly his hand shot out and snatched a dress that was hanging towards the end of the rack that Rachel hadn't got to yet. "Oh my God, this Marchesa is gorgeous. You _have_ to try this on," he gushed as he held up a red mini-dress.

She looked at the dress he was holding in his hands and tried not to fall in love with it. "Kurt, don't you think it might be a little too much for a cabaret?" she asked, reaching out to touch the bottom of the skirt.

"No," he stated bluntly whilst giving her what Rachel thought looked decidedly like the stink eye.

"Fine, I'll try it on but I'm not making any promises," she agreed, taking the dress from him. She noticed the impatient look on his face as if he knew that he had just found _the_ dress and she might as well not even try on the other dresses that they had already picked out. So they both headed towards the dressing room so she could try on the dresses.

As Rachel came out to model the first dress a few minutes later, a Naeem Khan shift mini-dress, Kurt eyed her approvingly.

"What do you think?" Rachel asked as she looked at him in the mirror.

"I actually like it a lot more than I thought I would." He stood up and walked over to her, coming to a stop behind her. "I just think a more fitted dress would look better." She watched as his hands came up to taper in the sides of the dress at her waist. She had to admit that he was right about the dress looking better if it hugged her curves a bit more.

"Okay, next dress," she said before heading back to the dressing room once again. Moments later she came out of the dressing room and was in the black ruched Alice + Olivia mini-dress. This time Kurt let out a low whistle. It was nice to know that she obviously looked as good as she felt.

"You look hot," he told her.

Rachel beamed at him in the mirror as she ran her hands down the sides of the dress and turned from side-to-side to get a good look at her silhouette. "I just love this dress," she sighed. "I feel beautiful."

"That's because you are beautiful," he said, smiling at her in the mirror.

Without a word she walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you." Heading back towards the dressing room, she turned around at the doorway and leaned on the doorframe. "This is definitely a strong contender."

A few minutes later, she finally came out in the red Marchesa mini-dress that Kurt had picked. "Wow," was all Kurt could say as she came out of the dressing room to show him how the dress looked. "That is just…wow." If the Alice + Olivia dress had made her feel beautiful, then this dress made her feel perfect. "It fits you like it was tailor made for you."

Everything from the sweetheart neckline of the strapless dress to the way it hugged all of her curves to how it hit just high enough on her thighs to show off her well-toned legs. "You were right. It's gorgeous," she said doing a little twirl in front of the mirror. The soft draped chiffon of the dress was contrasted perfectly with the applique on the skirt that just made it look fuller which in turn made her look voluptuous. She then remembered that before falling in love with the dress, she really should have looked at the price tag.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, walking over to her.

"I'm sure the dress is expensive and I just don't know that I want to spend that much on a dress," she explained in a hushed tone, bummed that she wasn't going to be walking out of the store with the gorgeous piece of clothing adorning her body at the moment.

"Have you ever bought something like this for yourself?"

She knew that he knew the answer to that question, but decided to humor him anyways. "No."

"Can you afford it?"

"Yes."

"Then why are we having this discussion?" Rachel shrugged her shoulders slightly. "You're getting it," he commanded. "Now go change out of it so we can go grab some lunch. I'm starving."

When Rachel walked back into the dressing room, she looked at the Alice + Olivia dress that she had loved so much as well hanging there and made a decision. If she was going to indulge then she might as well do it right.

* * *

"How was your day?" Jesse asked as Rachel walked into the apartment later that afternoon with a garment bag draped over her arm.

"Wonderful," she told him, walking over to where he was sitting on the couch with his laptop resting on his lap. Leaning down, she gave him a quick peck on the lips before heading towards the bedroom so she could hang her dresses in the closet. Once they were hung, she walked backed into the living room where Jesse was still working on his laptop. She lifted his arm up, wrapped it around her shoulders and curled into his side as she sat down next to him, leaning her head on his chest. "What are you looking at?" she wondered, her hand rubbing absentmindedly across his abdomen.

"I was checking into flights for next weekend," he answered. "You're okay with us getting to Lima kind of late Sunday night, right?" She nodded in affirmation. Closing her eyes she relaxed into him as he gently ran his fingers through her hair while he booked their flight back to Ohio for Hanukkah.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he closed his laptop, tickets purchased. "Are you going to show me what you ended up buying?" Jesse asked softly.

Immediately, Rachel's head popped up excitedly. "Do you really want to see?"

"Of course I do." That was all it took for her to practically leap up off of the couch like she hadn't been completely relaxed and about to fall asleep just moments before. As she walked in front of him on her way to the bedroom, he smacked her on the butt playfully.

Turning to look at him, she gave him a flirtatious grin before disappearing into the bedroom. An internal debate waged within Rachel as she looked at both dresses, unsure of which one to show him first. Finally, she opted to try the Alice + Olivia dress on first. Once the dress was on, she looked around the closet for the platform pumps that she had known would look perfect with this dress and put them on to complete the outfit.

The moment she walked out into the living room, she knew that she had made the right decision in purchasing the dress based purely on the look on Jesse's face. "So…" Rachel trailed off as she stood in front of him and watched his eyes travel up and down her body, taking her all in. She couldn't hide the smirk as she saw him lick his lips. "You like?"

Wordlessly, he reached out and ran his hands up the sides of her thighs and over the short hem of her dress. He still said nothing as his hands ran over the curve of her butt to the sides of her waist before pulling her closer to him so she was standing in between his legs. Finally, he looked up at her with a look of wonderment coloring his features. "You are breathtakingly gorgeous," he murmured, his hands rubbing lightly against the fabric of the dress.

"Why thank you, Mr. St. James," she coyly replied, running her fingertips along the side of his jaw. "Do you want to see the other one?"

"Does it show off every curve like this one does?" he asked, his hands moving to rest on her butt.

She twisted out of his hold and looked back at him playfully. "You'll just have to wait and see," she told him, practically skipping back into their bedroom. Carefully removing the dress and hanging it back up in the closet, she took the Marchesa dress off the hanger and gingerly put on the designer dress. It was the most expensive piece of clothing that she had ever owned. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she adjusted her cleavage before she headed back to the living room. She heard what distinctly sounded like a low growl as she came into his vision.

"You look…stunning," he breathed. "My God, did they make these dresses for you or what?" He reached out for her once again but she stepped out of his reach quickly.

"Uh-uh," she told him, wagging her finger at him. "No touching this dress."

"Oh, really?" There was a mischievous glint in his eye that should have told her he was up to something, and before she knew it he had popped up off the couch just enough to grab her by the waist and twist her around so that she landed on his lap. "You didn't think that was actually going to work, did you?"

She tried to muster up some aggravation for the fact that he had done exactly what she didn't want him to, but the look on his face was just so adorable that she couldn't find it in her. "It was worth a shot," she smiled, reaching up and scraping her nails lightly across the nape of his neck.

His rested his right hand on the curve of her hip and squeezed gently. "You really do look amazing." Rachel thought that they were way past the stage of him still being able to make her blush but the tone of his voice and the way he was currently looking at her, did exactly that. She ducked her head in embarrassment.

"Are you blushing, Miss Berry?" he teased, the smirk evident in his voice.

"No," she lied as she continued to avoid his gaze and began playing with the buttons of his shirt.

He reached up with his left hand and cupped the side of her face to get her to look up at him.

"You are," he accused, his tone still light and teasing. "Good to know that I have that effect on you still."

"Oh, shut up," she admonished, smacking his arm before getting up off of his lap. When she turned to walk away, his arm circled her waist, effectively stopping any forward movement. He pulled her back onto his lap before laying her down on the couch, which only caused Rachel to giggle in amusement.

"Where do you think you're going?" He hovered over her with an impish grin, both hands lightly gripping her waist.

"Jesse…" She completely lost her train of thought as he pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth.

"What?" he whispered huskily against her skin.

"The dress," she warned in a slightly breathy voice.

"What about it?" he asked, dipping his head and placing an open-mouthed kiss on her neck.

Rachel rolled her eyes slightly at his clueless ness. They might be attuned to one another in just about every way, but he was still a guy and he just didn't always understand things like not wanting to mess up your makeup that you had just perfected or not wanting to put even a wrinkle in a designer dress that you just bought or not wanting to do anything that might mess up perfectly coifed hair. She smiled to herself as she thought that maybe he understood the last one more than she gave him credit for. "I don't want to do anything to ruin the dress," she clarified for him.

He leaned up to look at her, an eyebrow raised. "Rach, I don't think a good, old-fashioned make out session is going to damage the dress." Before she had a chance to protest, his mouth was on hers but as he moved to deepen the kiss she pushed against his shoulders which caused him to pull away and sigh. "You know that you're really killing the mood right now."

"Just let me take the dress off and we can make out the rest of the night if that's what you want to do," she suggested.

"Well, why didn't you say so, I can help you with that," he told her, a lustful growl in his voice. He sat up so that she could do the same and reached around the back of her to find the clasp and the zipper. Once the clasp was undone, he slowly pulled the zipper down and it wasn't until the bodice fell open slightly that Rachel remembered that she wasn't wearing a bra. She saw Jesse's eyes color with desire as he noticed it as well. She stood up as he undid the zipper the rest of the way so she could pull the dress over her head.

It took all of the strength in Jesse to not immediately pull her back down on the couch with him the moment the dress was off of her body, but he patiently waited as she carefully laid the dress across the back of a chair. Holding out his hand, he beckoned her back over to him silently. A small smile graced her lips as she walked back to him, taking his hand she let him tug her a little bit before he had her fully in his grasp and flipped her onto the couch underneath him.

As he looked down at her, he couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from her breasts. It didn't matter that he had seen them at least a hundred times already. He raised his eyes up to gaze at her face again, only to see her watching him intently. His hand might as well have had a mind of its own as he gently reached out and palmed her breast causing her to arch into his touch. "I might have lied about that good, old-fashioned make out session."

"Oh?" was her breathless one word response.

Leaning in close, he let his lips brush against hers just a little before speaking again. "I'm thinking make out _and_ heavy petting session," he half-groaned, breaking away from their almost-kiss as Rachel wrapped one of her legs around his hip and rubbed herself against the obvious bulge in his jeans.

She pulled his head closer to hers once again before darting her tongue out to lick his lips which elicited a low moan from Jesse. "Even better," she purred. Their mouths finally melted together in a deep kiss.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Up next: the cabaret. Finally!


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Note: **Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter. I had a little bit of writer's block with this chapter, but a couple of one-shots (one of which I'm still working on) helped me out. I also decided that I had built up Jesse's song way too much to go with the song I wanted to use at first (Bryan Adam's "I'm Ready"), so I fretted over that for awhile before deciding on one that I love and have always felt would be a wonderful song for Jesse to sing to Rachel.

I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations considering that it's been a long time coming. :) Enjoy!

* * *

At the cabaret Monday night, Rachel paced back and forth backstage at the club as she waited to go onstage for her solo. Sound check had gone beautifully earlier so she didn't know why she was so nervous. Sure, she took to the stage six days a week, but it was very different portraying a character onstage night after night versus bearing your soul through song when there was no character to hide behind. She reminded herself that it hadn't been that long ago that she was doing this very thing. After all, it was exactly what she had done when she had been in New Directions.

Feeling a hand lightly grip her elbow, Rachel turned around to see Jesse standing behind her looking absolutely gorgeous in a black suit with a bright cerulean button-up underneath. A nervous smiled graced her lips as she looked up at him. "You're going to be amazing," he told her, running his hands up and down her arms reassuringly.

They had avoided as much physical contact as possible since they had arrived at the club separately earlier but with the look on her face, he pulled her into a hug. Immediately, he felt the tension leave her body as she relaxed in his arms. "Just breathe," he said softly, and he felt her do just that.

He had always been better with nerves than she had. Rachel remembered their first meeting so long ago and how he had seemed so at ease at the prospect of singing spontaneously for a group of strangers in the middle of a store. Once Jesse had started singing, it was like the entire world had disappeared and it was just the two of them. She pulled out of his embrace as she heard the MC and knew that she would hear her cue soon. Jesse nodded his head slightly as if to say 'you've got this'. In response, Rachel bit her lip slightly before she too nodded her head confidently and winked at him.

"Hey Rach," he reached out and grabbed her forearm to prevent her from walking away. "You look stunning." The megawatt smile that lit up her face could have powered the spotlight in the club. He raked his eyes down her body as he released her from his grasp and watched her head towards the stage. She looked even better in that short red dress than she had the first time that he had seen it on her.

Jesse smiled as Rachel looked back at him one last time just before she disappeared behind the curtain. If she was still nervous then her voice didn't betray her as she spoke into the microphone. She sounded completely at ease. Jesse smiled as he listened to her as she introduced herself and joked with the audience a little. His grin grew wider as he heard the crowd laugh at what she was saying.

Out onstage, Rachel grinned broadly at the audience when they began whistling and cheering as she told them that she was going to be singing "1+1". She looked over at the acoustic guitar player and nodded her head that she was ready and he began playing the opening chords of the song. The moment she closed her eyes and listened to the soft plucking of the guitar, Jesse's face swam into her vision which was fitting because he was the reason and the inspiration for the song. He had helped her come up with an arrangement that didn't steer too far from the original but at the same time was even more quiet and understated, something that Rachel didn't typically do. The arrangement showcased Rachel's vocals while still allowing her vulnerability to show through.

As she got to the bridge, she opened her eyes and saw that the audience seemed to be entranced by her. She smiled a little as the words tumbled from her lips. _Cause baby we ain't got nothing without love/Darlin' you've got enough for the both of us. _She thought of the man backstage that she loved more than she had ever thought it was possible to love someone. She thought of the way that he loved her – _Make love to me when my days look low/Pull me in close and don't let me go – _not just the physical but in every way. Theirs was the kind of love that most people would probably only ever dream of, but she got to live it every single day.

Backstage, Jesse beamed with pride as he listened to his girl's voice ring out clearly while she absolutely killed Beyoncé's "1+1". After the first time that he had suggested that she sing the song, it had taken a little bit of convincing for her to finally truly entertain the idea. Rachel had had reservations about taking on the R&B song and had thought that a showtune or maybe a Barbra number would better suit her, but when she sang the song for him he could see how powerfully she felt the emotion of the song. More importantly, the emotion came through in her vocals. Her voice took on this almost raw tone that was so gorgeous and different from the songs she belted out for their show.

One night she had told him that she wanted to do "1+1" and had asked him if they could work on a bit of a different arrangement for the song, so Jesse had pulled out his acoustic Gibson guitar and they had come up with something together. As they had worked side-by-side, it had hit Jesse so powerfully that if life hadn't brought them back together again with their show then he would never have had a connection like the one he shared with Rachel. She inspired him. Jesse was brought out of his reverie as the song came to an end and the audience erupted in a roar of cheers.

Back out onstage, the crowd's reaction was almost overwhelming for Rachel as she watched them give her a standing ovation. Her voice was quiet as she thanked the crowd and did a little bow. She waited for the applause to die down before speaking once again. "Now, I have the pleasure of introducing one of my favorite people on the planet. He's a wonderful co-star and an old friend. Ladies and gentleman, Jesse St. James!" she announced, motioning towards the side of the stage where Jesse emerged from.

They grinned before giving each other light pecks on the cheek in greeting, then Rachel handed the mic over to him. "How about another round of applause for the beautiful and extremely talented Rachel Berry," Jesse exclaimed as she left the stage, waving at the audience.

* * *

Rachel had hoped to hear Jesse's song when she had arrived earlier for sound check but by the time she got to the club, he had already finished his sound check and was just sitting around talking to some of the other performers. So as she listened to him talk to the audience, she snuck out into the club so she could actually see, and not just hear, him perform. Spotting Kurt and Daniel, she discreetly made it over to their table and sat down in an empty chair.

"What are you doing out here?" Kurt leaned over and whispered.

"I still don't know what he's singing," she whispered back. "So I wanted to watch his performance." Unexpectedly, she felt butterflies flutter in her stomach when Jesse looked over at her as he sat down at the keyboard at the center of the stage while the rest of the band patiently waited for him to start the song. Seeing him in front of the keyboard made Rachel even more curious about what song he was going to be singing as he looked down to rest his fingers on the keys before he glanced back up at her again briefly.

Turning his full attention back to the keyboard in front of him, he began to play the first few chords of the melody and Rachel immediately recognized the song. She should have known that if given the chance he would have chosen it. "Great song choice," Kurt whispered in her ear. Jesse looked back up at her just as he started to sing – _Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry/You don't know how lovely you are – _and Rachel felt her heart begin to race. It wasn't like he never serenaded her like when he would sing to her while they lay in bed at night sometimes and countless other times.

But watching him perform "The Scientist" transported her back to that night months ago in Carnegie Hall when he had sung "Baby Can I Hold You" for her. The intensity in his gaze matched the passion in his voice just like it had that night. It was like he was remembering all of the things that had inspired his song choice. The heartache, the pain…the regret.

He had told her that he had picked the song before they had gotten back together just a little over a month before and now knowing what song it was, she understood. After the things that had happened when they had taken a break after the Hamptons, "The Scientist" would have spoken to him especially if he was unsure about what their future held. It made her ache as she listened to the emotion in his voice – _I had to find you, tell you I need you/Tell you I set you apart –_ and remembered what it had been like without him before that fateful night of the Halloween party.

His voice rang out over the guitar and keyboard as he sang the chorus. _Nobody said it was easy/No one ever said it would be this hard/Oh, take me back to the start_. Rachel looked around at the audience and it was like they were holding their breath, afraid that one little movement could disrupt the beautiful sounds filling the room.

She turned her attention back to Jesse only to find him once again looking at her as he began the second verse – _I was just guessing at numbers and figures/Pulling the puzzles apart._ This would have been his public apology if they hadn't found their way back to each other by now. It would have been his way of letting her know just how much he regretted what had happened and how she was the one that he wanted to be with.

Rachel said a silent thank you that they both had realized quickly that they couldn't live without each other. She hated the very thought of not having had all the days and nights that they had been fortunate enough to have since he had moved in with her.

As Jesse sang – _But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me/Oh, and I rush to the start – _he was thinking much the same thing as Rachel. He remembered how badly he had messed things up between them and his inability to truly explain why he had done what he had because his mistake had nearly ruined the best thing to ever happen to him. He had screwed up beyond reason and all he had wanted was for them to begin again. To start anew and she had given him that chance. The song, the moment was for her – only her.

* * *

As soon as Jesse's performance was over, Rachel rushed backstage to get ready to go back out onto the stage with Jesse for their duet. She wished that they could have a little private moment backstage so she could tell him just how much she had loved what he had just done but it would have to wait until later.

A stagehand gave her a mic and before she knew it, Jesse was saying her name and she was back out onstage with him once again. Only this time, it would be the two of them singing together. The next few moments as they interacted with the audience and each other were a complete blur. That is, until the music started.

She looked over at Jesse who was standing close to her as he began singing – _You've been on my mind, I grow fonder every day. _He sounded even better than all of the times they had sung this together over the last few weeks. He reached his hand out – _Lose myself in time just thinking of your face – _and lightly caressed her face as he finished his part of the first verse.

Rachel closed her eyes at his touch as she began singing – _God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go – _but opened them again to look at Jesse as she began the next part – _You're the only one that I want._ She placed her hand on her chest as she felt the words she was singing – _I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before/Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all – _and she felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes.

Jesse grabbed her hand as he started singing the refrain – _You'll never know if you never try/To forget your past and simply be mine – _and he threaded his fingers through hers.

As they began the chorus their voices blended together seamlessly as they always did – _I dare you to let me be your, your one and only/Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms. _They let go of each other and looked out at the audience as they belted out the next part of the chorus in unison –_So come on and give me a chance/To prove I am the one who can walk that mile/Until the end starts._

Rachel had a cheeky smile on her face as she began singing the second verse – _If I've been on your mind, you hang on every word I say – _and reached up to playfully graze her finger under his chin. She turned back towards the audience with that same cheeky smile still on her face – _Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name – _and motioned towards herself as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

The growl in Jesse's voice as he sang the second part of the verse was so sexy – _Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close – _and the way he wrapped his arm lightly around her waist and pulled her body close to his was even sexier. She felt him lean down towards her – _And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go – _the tone of his voice softening, almost as if he was merely speaking to her.

She immediately missed the feel of his arms as he walked away from her dramatically and crossed the stage singing – _I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before/Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all – _while Rachel tentatively approached him from behind.

This time she took his hand in hers – _You'll never know if you never try/To forget your past and simply be mine – _and pulled him with her towards the center of the stage again.

As they harmonized on the chorus, they faced each other instead of the audience. Jesse began the bridge – _I know it ain't easy/Giving up your heart – _his focus still on Rachel. She closed her eyes and listened to him sing the words again before joining in with him – _Nobody's perfect/Trust me I've learned it._ The audience began to clap a beat as they repeated the lyrics over and over again in round before they began the final chorus.

After they had made the choice to sing Adele's "One and Only", Rachel had sometimes worried that it was too much of a love song for them to sing and that their performance could cause more gossip and possibly out their relationship. But as she and Jesse watched the audience erupt into thunderous applause as they all began to stand up and cheer and whistle loudly, she knew that they had chosen the right song. The audience loved them. It was written all over their faces. Well, the faces of the people closer to the stage that she could clearly see.

A part of her boldly thought that if their relationship was made public that it wouldn't ruin them. The thought of kissing Jesse in front of all of the people that were giving them a standing ovation crossed Rachel's mind before she stamped it back down. She wasn't quite ready to test her theory just yet. For the time being, she was content to just enjoy and share this moment with Jesse.

* * *

"Can I just tell you both how incredible you were performing 'One and Only'? It was ah-maz-ing," Kurt gushed as Rachel and Jesse slid into a booth that he and Daniel had already been waiting for them in at in one of Kurt's favorite local bars.

"The entire show was fantastic," Daniel added.

"But we were the best, right?" Rachel asked excitedly. Happy to finally get to hear Kurt's feedback.

He looked at Rachel, eyebrows raised, as if she should have already known the answer to her question. "That was hands-down _the_ best performance of the night. After watching that, it's too bad that Jesse defected back to Vocal Adrenaline our sophomore year because a duet like that would have won us Regionals, not to mention Nationals." Then Kurt seemed to reconsider his statement. "Although, our duets were pretty fabulous."

Rachel grinned at him, "Like when we snuck into the Gershwin and sang 'For Good'." They both beamed at each other as they remembered that magical moment. Whether she had realized it at the time, it was the moment that had changed her life and where Rachel finally realized that the stage and performing was her true love. She glanced over at Jesse. The stage was still her true love, but he was the love of her life. Reaching her hand under the table, she threaded her fingers through his and gave his hand a squeeze.

Looking back at Kurt, Rachel leaned across the table and sang softly – _Who can say if I've been changed for the better_/_But because I knew you_. Without missing a beat Kurt opened his mouth and sang the rest of the chorus – _Because I knew you/I have been changed for good._ They both laughed and grinned from ear-to-ear at each other as he finished singing.

"How is it that I've never heard the story about you two somehow managing to sneak into the Gershwin?" Daniel asked, looking back and forth between them.

"You never told him?" Rachel looked at Kurt incredulously.

"I know I did," Kurt replied. Daniel shook his head as Kurt glanced at him. "Well, maybe you just forgot in your old age," he teased, winking at his partner. He was about to start telling the story when Rachel beat him to the punch.

"Our junior year, our glee club finally made it all the way to Nationals and that year Nationals just so happened to be in New York. Well, one morning we both got dressed up and went and had breakfast at Tiffany's," she paused a moment for dramatic effect and looked around at the guys at the table. "That's technically when my birthday tradition of breakfast at Tiffany's began. Anyways, we headed over to the theatre district and ended up at the Gershwin, managing to get inside."

"We 'broke' in," Kurt interjected.

"Semantics," Rachel said, waving him off.

"A security guard caught us and told us that we needed to leave," Kurt told Daniel and Jesse.

"_But_ not before I got to sing a song on a Broadway stage with my best friend." Rachel's vision blurred with unshed tears as she smiled at Kurt, remembering that moment with such clarity, almost like it was just yesterday.

"It's too bad someone wasn't filming us that day because I'm sure it would've had many viewings just like my video of tonight's cabaret is sure to get," Kurt said, changing the subject back to the cabaret in an effort to keep from tearing up as well as he thought back to that day on the Gershwin stage. "You better be glad that you two told your dads the truth about you because I'm pretty sure they would've figured it out after they saw you two perform that duet tonight."

"Did you rehearse all of that?" Daniel asked, genuinely curious if everything they had done during their duet was planned or spontaneous.

"Some of it," Jesse answered, glancing up to see the waitress approach their table with a tray full of drinks effectively halting their discussion for the moment.

"I went ahead and ordered for both of you before you got here," Kurt told Jesse and Rachel indicating the extra dirty vodka martini for Rachel and the gin and tonic for Jesse. The waitress set Kurt and Daniel's drinks in front of them before walking away. Lifting up his drink, Kurt looked around at them all. "A toast," he said and waited for them to raise their own drinks. "To living out our dreams."

"Cheers!" they all exclaimed happily before all four of them clinked their glasses together.

* * *

"Would you mind unzipping me?" Rachel asked as she stood in front of the closet and kicked off her heels once they finally got back to her apartment later that night.

Walking over to her, he did as she had asked, placing a kiss on her bare shoulder before continuing to undress himself. "You really were amazing tonight," he said, looking over at her as he took off his button-up.

She smiled at him before putting her dress in a pile with the rest of her things that needed to go to the dry cleaners. "You weren't so bad yourself," she teased as she went over to the dresser and pulled a nightie out, slipping it over her head. The feel of his arms suddenly wrapping around her waist and tugging her against his body caused her to squeal in delight.

"Not so bad, huh?" He nipped playfully at her neck before twirling her around so that she was facing him.

"Alright, you were decent," she sighed dramatically, unable to keep herself from grinning up cheekily at him.

He raised his eyebrows at her revised assessment of his performance. "Care to try that again?" he asked, his fingertips lightly grazing the sides of her waist. She shook her head, still smiling. "Are you sure?" She squirmed in his grasp a little as he just barely tickled her.

"Fine, you were…" she winked at him before twisting out of his grasp and running toward the bedroom door. "Good." And with that she ran out into the living room knowing that he would give chase.

It was like high noon in the old west as they both stood on opposite sides of the couch, like they were waiting for the clock to chime to let them know that they could move. Jesse made the first move as he ran around the back of the couch and Rachel ran away from him. They both laughed as they continued their little game of chase in the living room. Jesse feinted like he was going to go right and immediately changed directions as Rachel began running again.

"Gotcha!" Jesse cried victoriously, grasping her in his arms once again.

"What are you going to do with me now that you've caught me?" Rachel asked coyly.

"I'm sure I can think of something," he replied as she wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped up to wrap her legs around his waist. Not moving for the bedroom just yet, he slid his hands down to grasp her butt to hold her to his body.

"Hi," she whispered, rubbing her nose back and forth across his affectionately. He planted a chaste kiss on her lips in response before resting his forehead against hers. She made sure that he was looking in her eyes before she spoke again. "You were brilliant up there on that stage tonight. And you were right when you told me that I would love the song because it was perfect."

"I'm glad that you loved it," he said before kissing her once again.

"I more than loved it," she told him as he pulled back slightly. "I love you." Wrapping her arms and legs more tightly around him, she kissed him this time, long and slow. She was vaguely aware that they were no longer standing still in the living room but didn't fully realize it until she felt her back come in contact with the softness of the bed.

Breaking the kiss, Jesse rolled off of her and propped himself up on his elbow as he lay next to her. "The audience loved us tonight," he remarked, reaching out to brush her hair away from her face.

"They did, didn't they?" she grinned, tracing a random pattern on the inside of his bicep with her fingertips. "For the first time, I felt like if everyone knew that we're together, even if it was just that they put the pieces together themselves, that they would still love us. Am I crazy?"

"No, you're not crazy," he smiled down at her lovingly. "You know that if you don't want to hide our relationship anymore that I'm okay with that, right?"

She nodded. "I know," she replied. "Well, I'm sure that after our duet tonight there will be a lot of people speculating that we're a couple anyways. Besides, it's not like we don't go out in public together all the time."

"Yes," he conceded before adding, "There also are millions of people here in New York and we have the luxury of being able to still go out to a lot of places where people don't even know who we are. But…" he trailed off.

"But…" Rachel encouraged, shifting closer to him on the bed.

"But we still arrive and leave the theatre separately every night. Tonight we went to the cabaret separately and left that way to meet Kurt and Daniel as well. Only a handful of people know that we're together. We have to try and hide it from everyone else."

Rachel was surprised by the frustration that she could hear in his voice. "It bothers you," her question ended up coming out as more of a statement.

He rolled over onto his back and sighed. "A little," he answered.

Leaning up on her elbow, Rachel hovered over Jesse. "Where is this coming from?" she asked.

Reaching up, he lightly caressed her cheek with the back of his knuckles. "I don't know," he told her with a slight shake of his head. "Being up there on that stage with you or even looking out into the audience to see your beautiful face…I just want to stop pretending."

"So do I, but you are technically still married," she pointed out, her voice soft.

"God, don't remind me," Jesse groaned, pulling her down so that she was lying on his chest. "I'm going to give my lawyer a call on Monday and let him know that all I want for Christmas is to sign my divorce papers."

"Or maybe a Hanukkah present," she suggested before placing a kiss on the edge of his jaw.

"Hmm, let's hope that Will is secretly the Hanukkah Armadillo," Jesse joked, waiting for Rachel to realize what he had just said. He grinned as her body shook with silent laughter.

"The Hanukkah Armadillo?" she giggled as she lifted her head to look at him.

"What?" he asked, feigning innocence. "Is there not such a thing?"

"You're never allowed to watch my Friends DVDs ever again," she told him, laughing as she looked down at him. "Next you're going to suggest that we celebrate Chrismakkuh."

"Hey, I thought the Cohen's were onto something," he replied, grinning up at her.

"You are officially banned from my DVDs," she teased as he rolled them over so that she was under him once again.

"Chrismakkuh." He let the word roll off his tongue like he was pondering it before he leaned down and gave her a peck on the lips. "I think it has a nice ring to it." She shook her head, biting her lip as she grinned up at him. "You know I can be _very_ persuasive," he told her.

The cocky expression on his face was something Rachel knew all too well, and she felt her body react in anticipation as he slowly moved down her body. She arched into his touch as he pushed her nightie up so he could place a wet, open-mouthed kiss on her flat belly before shifting even lower. She automatically opened her legs wider for him as he kissed the inside of both of her thighs before running his tongue along the inside of her right thigh, inching closer to her heat. As he slid her panties down her legs, Rachel fully expected to feel the warmth of his tongue as he tasted her but nothing happened. Looking down towards Jesse, she saw that he was sitting up, obviously waiting for her to look at him.

Satisfied that he had her complete attention, he lowered his head between her legs once again as he spoke. "Just consider this an early _Chrismakkuh_ present."

Rachel was about to protest but the only sound that came out was a sigh of pleasure as she felt Jesse's tongue on her center, slow and deliberate. His fingers pushing inside of her while his mouth and tongue were doing delicious things to her nub, had her panting as she clutched at the comforter that she was lying on top of. He hummed against her, the pleasurable sensation causing Rachel to cry out loudly. Her back arched as her hips moved and she pressed closer to him while gripping the comforter even tighter in her fists. The tension building in her body was almost too much as he thrust his tongue inside of her.

"Jesse." His name fell from her lips, half-moan, half-plea.

He knew she was nearly there as he felt her walls begin to clench as his fingers and tongue continued to bring her ever closer to the release she so desperately wanted. He sucked and licked with his tongue while his fingers moved within her until she was screaming "Oh, God!" so loudly that he wondered if her neighbors would hear her.

His tongue gently laved her as she continued to tremble with the aftershock of her orgasm. Finally, Jesse moved from between her legs and looked up her body to see her chest still heaving while her head lay against the bed, eyes closed. Moving up her body, he hovered above her and she opened her eyes to smile up at him.

"I might have to reconsider this whole Chrismakkuh thing," she breathlessly told him.

* * *

The next morning, while Rachel was in the shower, Jesse went through his contact list on his cellphone to find Kurt's number. Touching the screen, he put the phone up to his ear and waited for it to ring. After a couple of rings, Kurt's voice came through the line. "Good morning, Jesse," Kurt greeted him brightly.

"Hey Kurt, listen I know that Rachel's birthday is a couple of weeks away but I wanted to plan something special for her and I was hoping that you could help me. Especially with one thing in particular," Jesse explained.

"All you had to say was birthday and plan," Kurt told him, excitement in his voice. "Why don't we meet for lunch today?"

"Perfect." Jesse smiled as Kurt gave him the time and the place to meet him. He had already had some ideas of his own but he would definitely need Kurt's help if he wanted everything to go off without a hitch.


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Note: **First off, I am so sorry that it has been forever and a day since my last update. Hopefully, I haven't lost too many of you guys by my lack of updates. My absence was two-fold. Life has been a bit hectic and unfortunately, I just didn't have the time to write. And then there my issues with Rachel in the second half of the season that basically made my muse go into hibernation. That is until Nationals. :) So, I'm back and I definitely plan on finishing the story properly. I can't tell you how many chapters are left but there's a ways to go.

Thanks to **northstar61 **for being my beta for this chapter. ;) I always love getting your feedback.

So enough about me, and onto Jesse and Rachel. I hope you guys will think this was worth the wait!

* * *

After Rachel had taken a shower the morning after the cabaret, she padded into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee and make something for breakfast while Jesse took his own shower. Toasted bagel with cream cheese in one hand and a full mug of steaming hot coffee in the other, she went into the living room and turned on her laptop to check the _New York Post_ website to see if there were any stories about the night before. Sure enough, on the home page there was a link to a story about the cabaret. Clicking on the link, Rachel drummed her fingers impatiently on her laptop as the page loaded.

She felt her stomach drop as she began to read the story on her computer screen.

_The stars were out last night for the Broadway Cares cabaret, but the buzz wasn't all about some of Hollywood's A-listers who came out to show their support for the charity event. It was two of Broadway's hottest stars that had everyone talking. The place was all a-buzz afterwards with talk of Rachel Berry and the soon-to-be-single again Jesse St. James, and not just about their utterly fabulous show-stopping, chemistry-filled duet. Many are wondering if perhaps there is a bit of a love connection happening between the two stars. Not since Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs have we been this excited about a possible Broadway hook-up. _

As she read the article, Rachel was slightly stunned by the mere mention of one of her idols in a story about herself, even if it was just a gossip column. Re-reading the last sentence of the first paragraph again, the tension that she had initially felt when she began to read the article began to dissipate. The fact that the columnist seemed to be excited by the idea of her and Jesse made Rachel begin to think of how many other people might feel the same way. She began to read the next paragraph.

_While they came and left separately, rumors have been swirling of a possible romance between the two since their show first opened this past summer, but have recently gained steam since Jesse filed for divorce in early November._

_Our source who was backstage said that they were definitely affectionate with each other and seemed to be much more than simply co-stars and friends. Perhaps we've just found Broadway's new power couple. _

"Broadway power couple," Rachel mused aloud. She would be lying if she said that being branded a power couple of any kind didn't appeal to her. Glancing at the screen again, she read the last line of the article.

_Both of their reps have been contacted, but they have not gotten back to us yet._

"I'm not freaking out. Why am I not freaking out?" she wondered out loud. Surprisingly, she wasn't hyperventilating and panicking like she thought she was going to when she had first seen the story. She bit her lip as she thought about _why_ it didn't bother her. Did it make her a horrible and shallow person if part of the reason was because of the positive light that it painted her and Jesse in? Granted, it did mention the rumors that they had been having an affair, but they weren't calling her a homewrecker either. Her eyes made their way back to the second-to-last paragraph. It was just a gossip column, but to have someone even throw out the idea that they could be Broadway's new power couple was just… a little exciting. After the conversation that she and Jesse had had the night before, there was a sense of relief at having it all possibly come out in the open.

Granted, the _Page Six_ article was still just unconfirmed speculation but maybe this was a good time for them to start living their lives like a normal couple. Maybe they didn't need to be concerned with trying to maintain the charade that they weren't together when they went to the theatre or events and places that they would be sure to be recognized. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't realize Jesse was out of the shower until she heard him call her name from the bedroom.

"Yeah?" she called back, continuing to stare at the article on her computer screen.

Poking his head out of the room he asked, "Have you seen my navy sweater?" Immediately, she snapped her laptop shut like she had been caught doing something that she wasn't supposed to be. Jesse eyed her curiously as she jumped off the couch and practically bounced towards him. "What were you doing?"

"Just checking my e-mail," she lied easily, smiling up at him as she breezed by him. She had no idea why she hadn't told him the truth but something was holding her back. Going straight to the drawer where she had put the sweater that he was looking for, she pulled it out and handed it to him.

He thanked her before pulling it over his head. Turning to look in the mirror and fix his hair a little bit, he smiled warmly at Rachel in the reflection as she watched him.

"What are you doing today?" she asked, leaning against the foot of the bed.

"I have some errands to run and I'm meeting Thomas for lunch," he lied, knowing that the moment she knew he was meeting with Kurt that any birthday surprise would be ruined. There was no way that she would rest until she found out every little detail.

She pushed off the bed and went to stand in front of him, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. "Want some company?"

"Only if you want to know what I'm getting you for Hanukkah," he replied, running his fingers through her still damp hair.

Shaking her head, she grinned up at him. "Make it something good."

"For you? Anything." He placed a soft kiss on her lips before pulling back slightly.

"Do you mean that?"

His brow furrowed a bit as he looked at her quizzically. "Of course, I do."

"Then what do you say to the two of us arriving at the theatre together tonight?" He became even more puzzled by her words considering their conversation the night before. Before he could say anything she continued, "I thought about what you said last night and I think it's time we stop hiding." She ignored the little voice in her head that told her to tell him about the _Page Six_ article.

He thought about it for a moment before finally nodding his head. "Okay," he agreed. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand behind Rachel, he released her from his grasp. "I have to go, but I'll see you later on this afternoon." Grabbing his coat out of the closet, he gave her a quick peck on the lips before heading out of the bedroom. She followed behind him and stood in the living room watching as he put his coat on. As he began to open the door, he turned back around with a smile on his lips. "I love you."

"I love you," she echoed.

As soon as he shut the door behind him, Rachel ran back into the bedroom for her cellphone. Finding Kurt in her contact list, she hit the screen to dial him.

It rang a couple of times before he picked up. "Good morning," he answered pleasantly.

"Have you seen it?" Rachel asked.

"Seen what?"

"The _Page Six_ story about last night," she replied like it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.

"No," Kurt said, his interest piqued. "What did it say?"

"Hang on, I'll read it to you," she told him as she rushed into the living room to look at the webpage still on her computer screen. Opening the laptop, she read the story to Kurt, not pausing until she reached the end of it.

"You're not panicking, so which was it?" he asked, knowing his best friend all too well. "Them calling you and Jesse 'Broadway's new power couple' or the Idina Menzel mention?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied haughtily.

"What did Jesse think about it?" he asked ignoring her attitude. There was silence on the end of the other line. "So he doesn't know."

"I didn't know what to tell him," she defended.

"Um, for starters there's always 'Look at this _Page Six_ story about us'." Silence again came from Rachel's end. Kurt sighed. "What did you do?" When she continued to stay silent, he pushed a bit more. "Rachel…"

"I told him that we should go to the theatre together tonight," she admitted feeling a little ashamed for not being completely upfront with Jesse about her change of heart. Before Kurt could say anything she rushed out, "It's not like I told him I want to make an official statement or anything."

Kurt shook his head as he listened to her. "You know he's going to be pissed. And he's going to find out. Did you forget about that little snippet at the end where it said that they've contacted your reps?"

Rachel felt panic swell within her. Why hadn't she thought about that? "He doesn't have to know that I knew about it this morning." She began thinking of how she would sound surprised when he asked her about it.

"Well, I'm just going to go ahead and say I told you so," he quipped.

* * *

Jesse scanned the restaurant for Kurt and smiled when he saw Kurt wave at him from one of the corner tables. "Sorry I'm late," Jesse said as he removed his coat and placed it on the back of the chair. "I had some stuff that I had to get done this morning and lost track of time."

"Birthday stuff?" Kurt asked excitedly.

"Well, yes and no," was Jesse's cryptic reply. Kurt looked at him expectantly obviously needing more of an answer than that. So without a word, Jesse reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys, dangling them in mid-air with a little smile.

Kurt's brow furrowed as he looked at the keys. Then it hit him. "The apartment?"

Jesse laughed, nodding his head as he put the keys back in his pocket. "I just signed all of the paper work, so it's official."

"Jesse, that's fantastic," Kurt exclaimed before taking a sip of his water. "Great birthday surprise, by the way. It is part of her birthday, right?"

Nodding his head, Jesse took a sip of his own water. "I'm going to need your help with that part too."

Pulling out his iPad, Kurt set it on the table and looked back up at Jesse. "So, ideas?"

For the next half hour, Kurt and Jesse planned the perfect birthday for Rachel while they ate lunch. Jesse did his best to ignore his phone that kept vibrating on the table. Finally, after the fifth call from his publicist, he sighed as he picked up the phone. "It's my publicist again. Let me get this and see what's so urgent," Jesse explained before answering the call. "Hello?" he said into his phone.

Kurt continued to make notes on his iPad while he did his best to nonchalantly listen to Jesse's conversation.

"What _Page Six_ story?" Jesse asked. "No, I haven't had time to read…" Kurt wished that he could hear what Jesse's publicist was saying on the other end of the line. "I don't think so… Of course not… No, no statement… Okay… Yeah. I'll talk to you later."

"Everything okay?" Kurt winced slightly at the overly high pitch of his voice.

"Apparently, there's a story in _Page Six_ about me and Rachel and the cabaret last night." Jesse looked down at his phone for a moment. "Maybe I should call Rachel and let her know about it." Glancing up, he noticed the expression on Kurt's face. "Or… she already knows about it." He thought back to her request before he had left the apartment earlier. "She knew this morning, didn't she?"

Kurt's attempt at wide-eyed innocence was not quite as convincing as he had hoped it would be as evidenced by the way Jesse was currently staring him down waiting on an explanation. He had warned Rachel that this might happen but he certainly hadn't expected that he would be a part of the drama. He was about to say something when Jesse spoke again.

"You know what, I don't need you to tell me. I already know the answer. Unbelievable," Jesse exclaimed, his jaw clenching in irritation. "I should've known her sudden change of heart was motivated by something more than just a simple conversation."

Before Jesse even had the chance to ask, Kurt slid his iPad over to him. Jesse typed in the web address so he could read the story himself. After he was done, he handed it back to Kurt.

"What about _that_ made her want to suddenly start appearing in public together?" Jesse asked. Knowing Rachel, she would have loved the fact that somebody had called them a Broadway power couple but for that to be what made her want them to go public with their relationship seemed ridiculous.

"I think she sees this as some sort of validation that you guys could be open about your relationship and not be crucified for it in the media," Kurt offered.

"But it's just _one_ gossip column writer," Jesse countered.

"Doesn't it make you wonder how many more people out there feel the same way?"

Jesse considered Kurt's suggestion. He would be lying if he said that when he had read it, he hadn't thought that very same thing. But why couldn't Rachel have just been honest with him?

* * *

Jesse had wandered around the city for the past couple of hours, debating on what to do. Finally, he grabbed his cellphone and called Rachel.

"Hey, are you on your way?" she asked, her tone light.

"Actually, you're going to have to head to the theatre without me," he told her. As much as he wanted to have it out with her, he didn't want to have an argument before the show.

"Really?" The disappointment that she felt was evident in her voice.

"Yeah, I've still got some things to do but I'll see you later," he told her, making it clear that he didn't want to be on the phone any longer.

"O-okay. Love you."

"You too," came his short reply before he pulled the phone away from his ear and hit 'End'.

* * *

If Rachel not seeing Jesse until just before the show wasn't a clue that something was wrong, the fact that his dressing room door was locked afterwards definitely confirmed for her that he was upset about something. Reaching up, she lightly knocked on the door and waited patiently for him to open it. By the look on his face, she knew that he was definitely mad and what it was probably about but she had to be sure.

Following him inside, she softly shut the door behind her before turning towards him again. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again, unsure of what to say. "I feel like you've been avoiding me ever since this morning. A-are you upset with me?" she asked.

He tugged his navy sweater over his head before answering. "What do you think?"

"Why?" She knew why but she asked the question anyways. The only response she got was his jaw clenching and nostrils flaring as he glanced at her agitatedly. "Is this about the _Page Six_ story today?" she offered, knowing full well that it more than likely was.

"I don't give a damn about some fucking gossip column, Rachel. This is about the fact that you lied to me," he exclaimed as he sat down to put his shoes on.

She thought about objecting for a moment because, well, technically she didn't lie outright, she just hadn't told him about the story which was kind of a lie but not really, and judging by the look on Jesse's face that was just semantics. After all, a lie of omission was still a lie. "I'm sorry," she rushed out. "I should've told you this morning."

"But you didn't," he countered, standing up. "Instead, you pretended like you had some epiphany after last night." He shook his head in disgust as he walked around her towards the door.

Turning as he moved past her, she tried to explain herself. "I-I don't know why I wasn't honest with you..." She watched as he grabbed his coat off the hanger near the door. "Where are you going?" she asked, unable to keep the desperation out of her voice.

"I'm going to grab a drink with Thomas and some of the guys," he replied as he wrapped his scarf around his neck before putting his coat on.

"Jesse, you can't just leave," she implored, doing her best to rein in the anger that she felt at his flippant response. "We _need_ to talk about this."

Buttoning up his coat, he looked at her for a moment and took a deep breath before saying anything. "I'm too fucking pissed off to talk to you right now, Rachel. We'll talk about it when I get home." And before she had a chance to respond, he opened the door and walked out.

* * *

Jesse was lost in his own thoughts as he listened to Thomas and the other guys joke and laugh. He'd been trying to not think about Rachel, but ever since they had sat down at the bar his every thought had been consumed by her.

He knew that it wasn't fair that he'd been avoiding her all day. Earlier it had taken everything in him to keep his anger in check at her deceit and not yell at her, but he'd held back because the last thing he had wanted to do was say something that he couldn't take back. Something that she would remember every time they got upset with each other from now on. He knew that he was capable of it. Hell, he had thought some not so nice things about his girlfriend all day that if she had heard would have cut pretty deep. The thing was, he didn't truly believe any of the hurtful thoughts that he'd had about Rachel.

Maybe that was the reason that his anger had ebbed completely since he had left the theatre and had been replaced by hurt. He imagined her lying in bed wondering where he was and when, or _if_, he was coming home. She didn't deserve the silent treatment that he was currently giving her. It was easy to fall back into old patterns and this was exactly how he had handled most of the fights that he'd had with his soon-to-be ex-wife.

Old habits were hard to break, but now was as good a time as any to start. He gulped down the rest of his beer and threw some cash on the bar. "I have to take off," he told his friends as he stood up. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

* * *

Rachel's blood had been boiling after Jesse had walked out of the dressing room. She understood that he was pissed that she had lied, but walking away rather than having a conversation was not the way they needed to solve their problems. On the way home, she wondered if every fight they had for the rest of their lives would be this muted silence.

They had fought before when Jesse had told her that he had slept with… well, she didn't like to think about that, but this was different especially since they were now living together. Although, she had the very same thing to Jesse when they had fought months before.

She hated that he was shutting her out.

Deciding that pacing back and forth in the living room was only making her even more restless she took a hot shower in the hopes that it would ease some of the tension.

It didn't work.

Once she put her pajamas on, she contemplated trying to sleep but in the end all she ended up doing was staring at Jesse's side of the bed while she held her phone in her hand. Finally, she went back out to the living room, turning off the lamp before she curled up on one end of the couch. She thought about turning on the TV or some music to occupy her thoughts, but instead she sat in the silence and darkness of the apartment.

Her fingers touched the screen of her phone as she went to her text messages. _Please come home so we can talk, _she typed out then let her finger hover over 'send' on the screen. But instead she moved her finger and touched the screen to delete the message.

The minutes ticked by as she typed out text after text and then just as quickly would delete said text. She had just finished typing and deleting what must have been her fifteenth text message when the front door opened. Immediately, Rachel flipped on the lamp beside the couch to illuminate the living room a bit. They were both frozen in place for a moment, just staring at one another in the dim light of the lamp.

Finally, shutting the door and locking it behind him, Jesse walked over to the couch and took a seat on the opposite end from Rachel. The space between them feeling more like an ocean rather than just a couple of feet. Rachel was the first to speak. "Are you still mad at me?" she asked, her voice soft as she crossed her legs Indian-style and turned to face him.

Jesse sighed before answering her question. "Why did you lie to me this morning? You let me believe that it was something that I said or did that made you re-think the idea of being open about our relationship. Do you know what it was like to hear about _Page Six _from my publicist only to realize that you knew about the story all along but intentionally kept it from me? That it was nothing that I had done, but some random gossip columnist who called us 'Broadway's new power couple'?"

She scooted a bit closer to him on the couch. "I really did think about last night. Not just what we talked about but the way the audience reacted to us." She paused for a moment to play with the lace on the bottom of her pajama pants, and also to find the words to explain…why. "There's this part of me that will always be that girl that wants people to like her. To be popular," she explained sheepishly. "And I know that's all part of what we do because if nobody likes us then we're not going to be very successful, but it's like I _need_ it so badly sometimes. Do you remember back in high school when I triple-cast you with Finn and Puck in the 'Run Joey Run' video?"

"God, how could I forget that humiliation?" Jesse groaned. It may have been years but the memory of that day was still fresh in his mind.

"I know you probably don't remember the reason I told you for why I did it, but there's this piece of me that is still that same insecure girl. As much as I wish it wasn't, it's just a part of who I am." She hung her head slightly ashamed to admit something like that despite the fact that she was living the life that she'd always dreamed of. "And I know that it was just some gossip column, but to read that _we_," she gestured between them, "were what everyone was talking about and that there are people that think the two of us being together is a good thing just got me excited. I know that it's silly but it did."

"You know I loved that girl," he told her, closing the space between them on the couch and reaching out to cup her cheek. "I love the woman you've grown to be even more, but we're partners Rachel. You and me." He reached up and cupped her other cheek with his free hand. "You should've just told me and been honest."

She closed her eyes and sighed at the gentle way his thumbs were caressing the apples of her cheeks and the softness in his voice. "I really am sorry."

"I know," he replied, resting his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry that I've avoided you all day," Jesse apologized. He knew that it was unfair to Rachel to just ignore her and not try to sort through their issues. "When I was with Isla that was how we both operated. We would avoid the problem until we either exploded or it went away completely."

Reaching up, Rachel rested her hand on top of his as she spoke, "I'm not her."

"I know," he told her softly.

She looked into his eyes before continuing. " I don't want to avoid talking when we're mad at each other. Even if we do end up screaming at each other. Deal?"

"Deal." He closed the few inches between them and kissed her lips softly. "You know it's inevitable that you and I are going to be a Broadway power couple."

"Oh, really?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye as she pulled away from him a little and leaned back against the arm of the couch.

He nodded in response. "Do you want to know something else?"

Rachel's entire body felt like it was on fire at the look in Jesse's eyes. She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to her. "What?"

"We are about to have fantastic make-up sex," he told her, in the sexiest tone that Rachel had possibly ever heard, just before their lips came crashing together.


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Note: **For all of my American readers, I hope that everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July. I hope everyone else's Wednesday was equally as enjoyable even if you weren't celebrating with fireworks and cookouts. :) I had planned on posting this chapter last week, but this thing went through a _major_ overhaul over the last day or so. I'll just say this, the original ending was vastly different than what I'm posting but I'm fairly certain you guys will be perfectly okay with that. Oh, and thanks to everyone for the reviews, favorites and story alerts. It was so good to know that there's still plenty of interest in this story despite my lack of updates. Anyways, onto the new chapter!

* * *

"So I was thinking," Jesse said to Rachel one morning a few days after the cabaret as he walked into the kitchen to stand behind her, placing his hands on either side of her on the counter.

"What were you thinking?" she asked with a smile as he leaned down to place a kiss on her neck.

"Maybe we could go look for a new bedroom set today for the apartment," he responded, his cheek rubbing slightly against her own . "I know you love the stuff you already have."

"I do…" she replied, turning around to face him.

"I want us to have something that's _ours_," Jesse explained.

The sincerity in his voice and the look of adoration that he was currently giving her made Rachel completely melt. "Okay," she agreed.

He gave her a peck on the lips before pulling back with a huge grin on his face.

* * *

Rachel ran her hand across the cherry finish of a nearby dresser as she and Jesse walked around the second furniture store that they had been to later that morning. Even though she had only ever done this very thing with Donovan, she knew that buying furniture with someone for the first time was always… interesting. Based on their house hunting experience, they already knew that their tastes differed in some respects.

Walking down one of the aisles with mattresses lining both sides, they plopped down on various ones that caught their eye. Rachel loved one that was similar to the one that she currently had, but Jesse apparently had other ideas as he led her further down the aisle.

"Ah," Jesse sighed as he lay down on mattress in a display all of its own which told her that she didn't even need to look at the price tag to know it was probably the most expensive one that the store had. "Now _this_ is how a bed should feel."

"Hey, what's wrong with my mattress?" Rachel protested.

"I love you, Rach, but that thing is terrible," he told her which only made Rachel scoff. Without saying another word, Jesse sat up slightly and grabbed her hand, tugging her onto the mattress with him.

"Oh, wow," she breathed, turning her head to look at him knowing full well that he would have that annoying-yet-irresistibly-attractive smug expression that he had perfected over the years.

"Say it," he prompted, nudging her a little.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied, keeping her expression neutral.

"Say it," he said again, poking her in the side where he knew she was ticklish. Rachel shook her head, pursing her lips together to keep from smiling. "Fine, I have no choice then." All of a sudden, both of his hands were on her sides tickling her and she began squirming, doing her best not to laugh.

After about fifteen seconds, she couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing. "Stop," she giggled.

"Not until you say it."

"Fine. You were right," she rushed out breathlessly as she continued to laugh. Just like that, his hands left her sides and he lay back down on the bed, chuckling.

"I always am," he declared, a playful tone in his voice and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

She reached over and smacked him on the stomach, still trying to catch her breath. "You almost made me pee my pants."

"A bed wetter I see," he teased which only earned him another smack on his stomach from Rachel.

They lay there in companionable silence for a few minutes before Rachel felt Jesse's hand find her own and twine his fingers through hers. She resisted the urge to curl into his side and stay there just a little while longer.

Finally, hands still linked together they both got up and headed back towards the bedroom furniture once again. While Rachel's current bedroom set was more on the traditional side, she was drawn to the modern designs as they made their way from room-to-room. Jesse usually had more modern tastes, but he didn't like a single thing that he saw with the exception of a rustic-style set that made Rachel wrinkle her nose and look at him like she had a bad taste in her mouth.

As they continued to browse, Rachel remarked that they were probably never going to find anything that they both loved. Then they rounded a corner and knew they had found it. The tufted linen headboard was the perfect balance between both of their tastes. Looking at the various pieces, Rachel could picture it all perfectly in their bedroom at the new apartment. In her head, she was already planning where everything would go and the new duvet that would complete the set.

"This is it," Rachel said, looking up at Jesse with a bright smile.

"And you thought we were never going to find anything," Jesse teased as he let go of her hand to walk around the room that was set up.

"Well, it wasn't looking good for us," she quipped. She watched as he walked over to the bed and lay down on it. She heard a groan escape his lips. "What?" she asked, hoping that he hadn't just changed his mind.

"This mattress is just as bad as that thing you were trying to talk me into earlier."

* * *

That Sunday, Jesse and Rachel rushed home after their matinee performance to head off to Ohio to celebrate Hanukkah with her dads. "The car's here, Rach," Jesse called from the living room as he picked his coat up from the back of the couch and shrugged it on.

"One second," she called back from the closet in their bedroom. Reaching up onto the top shelf, she grabbed her cream knit beret and matching scarf before heading out into the living room where Jesse was waiting for her. She tied her scarf around her neck as Jesse held up her coat so he could help slip it on her. Tugging her long chestnut locks from underneath the collar, she turned around and smiled up at him as she buttoned a few of the buttons on her coat.

"Ready?" he asked, picking up their carry-on bags from the floor.

"Let's go," she told him, grabbing her purse from its perch on the couch and following him out of the apartment.

* * *

Rachel's nerves seemed to always get the best of her whenever she travelled which was mainly due to all of the variables that could delay her departure. Traffic was one of those things that usually worried her the most, but surprisingly the ride from her apartment to the airport had been on the lighter side. Even though they had arrived at LaGuardia with plenty of time to spare before their flight was due to depart, it wasn't until they had made it through security and were sitting down at their gate that Rachel was able to fully relax.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink," Jesse said, leaning over slightly. "Do you want anything?"

"Hot chocolate," she replied. Jesse moved to get up but she stopped him. "Ooh, wait, a white chocolate peppermint mocha. Skinny."

Jesse chuckled. "Are you sure?" She nodded in response. "Okay, I'll be right back." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before he headed off down the terminal to the Starbuck's that they had passed on the way to their gate earlier.

Rachel just smiled as she watched him go. After a few minutes, she began to get restless so she reached into the pocket of her carry-on and pulled out her iPad to play a game while she waited. Flipping through her apps, she finally settled on one of her favorite word games. It didn't take long before she was engrossed in the game trying to piece words together based on clues, and was completely unaware of how much time had actually passed when Jesse came back and sat down in the seat next to hers again. Looking up, she took the proffered coffee from his hands. "Thanks," she said.

Jesse smiled in response. "What are you playing?" he asked, craning his neck to look at the screen of the iPad.

"7 Little Words," she replied before taking a sip of her mocha. Leaning against his shoulder, she set the iPad on Jesse's lap so they could both play. So for the next half hour they were in their own little world, joking and laughing as they tried to make words out of the various letters, until the gate attendant made the announcement that they would begin boarding in a few minutes.

Rachel ran to the bathroom one last time and by the time she got back, they were boarding first class passengers and she was rushing over to join Jesse.

It wasn't until the plane had begun to taxi away from the gate towards the runway that Rachel was hit with nerves again. Only this time her nerves were more excitement than anxiety. When she had last been home for a visit, never in a million years would she have pictured that the next time that she came back that it would be with Jesse. It was amazing how much could change in the course of a single year.

"You okay?" Jesse asked, laying a gentle hand on her knee.

Laying her hand on top his and threading their fingers together, she looked up at him. "I'm glad you're going home with me," she said.

He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Me too," he replied softly. "Hey if we have time tomorrow, we should see if the book store is still open. Maybe put on an impromptu concert."

"I haven't been there in years," she confessed as he slipped his hand from her grasp only to flip it over so they were palm-to-palm as they laced their fingers once again. Truth be told, Rachel hadn't been back to the music store since she had graduated high school. She had driven by it a few times over the years but she could never bring herself to stop and go inside for some reason. She suspected that, subconsciously, the reason had been Jesse.

"Do you think your dads are going to make us sleep in separate rooms?" he queried, only half-joking.

"No. Although, if they do you can just sneak into my room," she winked up at him as the plane began to take off.

* * *

Almost four hours later, they were pulling into the driveway of Rachel's dads' house. "Go ahead and go inside. I'll get our stuff," Jesse told her, knowing how excited she was about being home again. Leaning over, she gave him a quick kiss on the lips before getting out of the car and rushing towards the front door.

"We're here!" Rachel called out as she opened the door to the house.

She saw her dad hurry out from the kitchen where he must have been cooking dinner. "Bruce, Rachel and Jesse are here," Samuel yelled upstairs as he rushed over to Rachel, hugging her tightly. "I'm so glad that you're home."

"Rachel!" Bruce exclaimed rushing down the stairs to join his husband and daughter for a group hug.

Jesse smiled at the sight before him as he walked through the front door and closed it behind him. While he may not be very close with his own parents, he knew the Berry men would more than make up for that. This was his family now.

"Hey Jesse," Bruce greeted before enveloping Jesse in a hug.

"Welcome to our home," Samuel then greeted before also hugging Jesse.

"Thank you for having me," he told them. Rachel walked over to his side and wrapped her arm around his waist as he draped his own across her shoulders.

"I hope you two are hungry. Your dad's been in that kitchen cooking ever since we got home from running errands," Bruce told them.

"It smells delicious, Dad." Breathing in deeply, Rachel grinned. "Is that kugel?"

"Of course," Samuel replied, returning his daughter's smile. "Why don't we have a drink and let you guys relax a little bit before we eat," he suggested, gesturing towards the living room where his husband was currently headed. "Would you like a beer, Jesse?"

"I'd love one," Jesse answered as he followed Rachel over to the couch and sat down next to her.

As her dad walked into the kitchen to grab a couple of beers for his husband and Jesse and some wine for himself and his daughter, Rachel turned excitedly to her daddy. "Did he make donuts too?"

"What do you think?" Rachel grinned from ear-to-ear at her daddy's response to her question and clapped her hands together.

"If I'd known donuts made you this happy, I would have made sure to get them all the time," Jesse remarked, winking at Rachel.

"Oh, these aren't just any donuts, Jesse. My dad makes these _amazing_ donuts from scratch every Hanukkah," she explained, practically drooling in anticipation.

"Just wait and see what he has planned for tomorrow night's dinner. I asked him if he was just trying to impress Jesse since he was going all out." All of them were chuckling as Samuel walked back into the living room somehow managing to carry all of the drinks.

"What's so funny?" Samuel asked as he handed the beers to Bruce and Jesse before giving Rachel her glass of wine.

"Daddy thinks you have a crush on Jesse."

"What?" An incredulous look was on Samuel's face.

"I did not say that," Bruce protested. "I merely implied that the dinner menu is a little bit more extravagant than usual. That's all." He looked back and forth between Rachel and Jesse for support.

"His exact words were that you were trying to impress Jesse," Rachel teased, a cheeky grin on her face.

Bruce mock-glared at Rachel as he spoke, "You're a traitor, you know that?"

* * *

After they had finished dinner and cleaned up, everyone made their way back into the living room. Just as Rachel sat down, she popped right back up again. "Oh, we have something for you guys," she told her dads.

Rushing back into the foyer, she unzipped her carry-on to find what she was looking for. Once it was in hand, she walked back into the living room with her hands behind her back. She smiled at Jesse who knew exactly what she was holding in her hands before turning to look at her dads as she proudly held out a small wrapped package.

"What's this?" her dad asked as he took the gift from her.

"Happy Hanukkah," she told them. Both of her dads looked at each other but neither of them moved to tear the wrapping paper. "Well, open it," she said impatiently.

Ripping the paper off, her dads grinned as they saw what it was. "The cabaret!" Bruce exclaimed.

"I thought we could watch it together tonight."

"Of course," Samuel replied, standing up so he could hug Rachel. "Thank you both."

"Do you guys want to watch it now?" Rachel asked, unable to contain her excitement. Without a word, her dad smiled lovingly at her as he handed over the DVD. After she turned on the player, she opened the case that she'd had specially made and took the DVD out only to insert it in the machine.

"Honey, let me see the case," Bruce requested, holding out his hand as she turned back towards the three men. Walking over to them, she handed the case to her daddy before going to the other couch and sitting next to Jesse. "I love this." Bruce looked up at her and Jesse as he examined the case.

On the front was a picture of the sign for the club where the cabaret had been held. On the back were various pictures from Jesse and Rachel's performances. Rachel's favorite picture had been the one that Daniel had taken just after they had finished 'One and Only'. The way she and Jesse were looking at each other made her completely melt inside.

As the DVD menu popped up, Samuel grabbed the remote off of the side table next to him and selected _Play_. Rachel was nearly as happy as her dads to watch the video since parts of that night were a complete blur and she hadn't had the chance to actually watch it yet. Although, part of the reason that she hadn't seen it yet was that she found it hard to sometimes watch herself which made her question if she would ever pursue a career in TV or film. She nestled into Jesse's side as the MC announced the first performer of the night.

Out of the corner of his eye, it didn't escape Samuel's notice how happy and content Rachel and Jesse seemed. He was grateful that they were so affectionate with one another. That had been something that her relationship with Donovan had always lacked. His mouth crooked up in a smile as he saw Rachel pull back to look at Jesse lovingly before he placed a gentle peck on her lips. Clearly it wasn't meant to be a private moment, but for some reason he felt a little bit like an intruder and quickly turned his attention back to the television.

As they watched the woman who was currently starring as Eponine in _Les Miserables _finish her performance, Rachel anxiously awaited the MC to introduce her. The fact that she was only with her dads and Jesse didn't prevent her stomach from feeling like it was completely tied up in knots. Her dads looked over and smiled at her as she came onto the screen. She was amazed by how comfortable she had seemed on the stage talking to the crowd. All the nerves that she had felt that night hadn't shown through at all. "It's even better the second time," Jesse whispered to her as she sang on the screen.

Hitting the pause button on the remote after the song was over, Bruce turned to look at his daughter. "Honey, just… incredible."

"Thanks, Daddy."

He pressed play once again and on-screen Rachel was now introducing Jesse. Rachel gave Jesse's hand a squeeze as she watched him come out onto the stage. "Perfect song choice, Jesse," Bruce said as they watched Jesse begin to play the keyboard.

"It was," Rachel agreed quietly, placing a soft kiss on his jaw. Watching his performance of 'The Scientist' again, Rachel was fairly certain that she could listen to him sing the song on an endless loop for days. She made a mental note to get Kurt to help her rip the audio of it so she would have it on her iPod.

It felt like butterflies were fluttering inside of Rachel's stomach as the moment for her and Jesse's duet came. Much like she had with Kurt, she was eager to hear what her dads thought. There was also a part of her that really wanted to see how she and Jesse had looked during the performance. As she watched the TV, there was no denying that they looked very much like the couple that people were speculating they were.

Bruce once again paused the DVD as the performance ended, turning to look at Rachel and Jesse on the other sofa. "Best performance of the night. I don't even need to see the rest of the performances to know that this one blew them all out of the water."

"You both make it look so easy and natural," Samuel added, smiling warmly at Jesse and Rachel.

"Thank you guys," she grinned, locking eyes with Jesse before he kissed her temple.

* * *

Jesse followed Rachel and her dads upstairs, bags in hand. As they reached the landing, Bruce turned to them and said, "Jesse, the guest bedroom has fresh sheets for you." Rachel and Jesse both looked at each other unable to hide their disappointment. Suddenly, both of Rachel's dads began chuckling. "I'm only kidding."

Rachel whacked both of her dads on their arms. "You're not funny."

They were still laughing as they bid both Rachel and Jesse good night before going into their own room and shutting the door. "C'mon," Rachel said as she made her way down the hall towards her old bedroom. As they walked in, Jesse came to a halt at the doorway, lightly setting the suitcases down as he continued to stand at the threshold. Realizing that Jesse was no longer behind her, Rachel turned to see why he had stopped. "What are you doing?"

Jesse just studied the room for a moment, not answering her question. "I can't believe I'm back here again," he finally said. "It looks just like I remember. Even the girl inside it."

Rachel tucked her hair behind her ear as she smiled at his words. He thought it was adorable how this place, this room somehow brought out a little bit of that unsure girl that he had fallen in love with long ago. Finally stepping into the room, he shut the door behind him before he picked up their carry-on bags once again and walked over to the bed to set it down so they could get their clothes out.

As Rachel dug through her own bag to find her pajamas and change into them, Jesse did the same with his own. Once she had changed, she took her toiletry bag out of her carry-on and disappeared into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Jesse soon joined her to brush his own teeth before going back into the room and getting into bed.

As she shut off her bathroom light and walked back into the bedroom, the only light illuminating the room was the small bedside lamp next to her side of the bed. Crawling under the covers, Rachel reached over and turned off the light before lying down next to Jesse. There was a part of her that thought it was so completely surreal that he was lying in bed next to her as she gazed up at the dark ceiling of her old bedroom.

Curling her arm over his abdomen, Rachel sighed in contentment as she rested her head on his chest. They lay there for a moment, eyes closed, listening to the near-total silence of the house. It was something that they weren't used to hearing in New York. Nothing.

Unable to fall asleep in the unfamiliar silence, Rachel's mind wandered back to days that should have been long forgotten yet would be forever etched into her memory . "Do you remember when we first started dating and it seemed like we made out all the time?" she asked suddenly, hooking her leg over his. "Right here in this room, on this bed."

"Vaguely, but maybe you can remind me," he prodded with a cheeky grin as his fingers danced up the thigh that was currently resting on top of him.

She smacked him lightly. "I'm serious."

"So am I." He raised his eyebrows at her suggestively before promptly getting hit by her again.

"All I ever let you do was kiss me and feel me up," she reminded him.

"Ah, yes. My exquisite torture." He recalled the night that had almost been the end of them when he had suggested that they "do it". At the time, he had told himself that his decision to transfer to McKinley was purely because he needed to finish what he had started for Shelby but the truth had been that he had started to fall in love with Rachel.

It was funny how lately decade old memories had been rushing back to her like they had only just happened yesterday. "But when you transferred to be with me…" She paused as she leaned back slightly and reached up to brush his curls affectionately with her fingertips. "I loved that you didn't rush and took the time to make sure that I really did want to do more."

"I didn't want you to have any regrets," he told her, lightly rubbing his hand up and down her back. "I should've known when you told me that your dads were gone for the night again that you would take advantage of me."

"You were more than willing to be taken advantage of," she teased.

"Was I that transparent?" Jesse grinned down at her as she rested her head in the crook of his arm.

"Well, I certainly didn't have to tell you twice." The mischievous glint in her eye prompted Jesse to roll over so that she was lying on the bed underneath him. "I still don't."

"I _am_ extremely brilliant that way." He punctuated his words with a kiss. "God, you were so beautiful that day."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." As he looked at the woman beneath him, he remembered with incredible clarity how she had looked that night. Her lips had been red and swollen after their hour-long make out session on her couch when they had attempted to watch a movie. She had nervously led him to her bedroom and tentatively kissed him before lying down on the bed. As he had kissed her, his hands had explored her body and unlike all of the other times, she hadn't tensed up or objected when his hand had slipped under her skirt. He remembered how he had stopped as he realized what he had been about to do, pulling his hand away from her. When he had opened his mouth to apologize, Rachel had grabbed his hand and moved it back under her skirt, her flushed cheeks and look of desire had told him exactly what she had wanted. Then it was like a blur of memories, the exquisite feel of her as he had parted her slick folds with his fingers, the breathy moans as he had pleasured her, the fervor with which she had kissed him as she had experienced her first orgasm. The memories alone were already making him incredibly hard. "It took all the strength that I had in me not to try and have sex with you that night."

"I think that was the case every time we started making out." Her eyes twinkled with amusement as she looked up at him.

"You were hard to resist." His whispered words made shivers of pleasure run down her spine. "Still are."

"Make love to me," she quietly begged, rubbing herself against his obvious arousal. He claimed her mouth with his own in a deep kiss as he thrust against her roughly, causing her to arch her back. Blindly feeling for the hem of his t-shirt, Rachel tugged it up and Jesse pulled back as he let her take it off of him completely.

Running her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, she pulled a shirtless Jesse to her once again. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck in an attempt to be as close to him as possible, relishing the feel of his weight above her pressing her into the mattress. "I love you," he whispered against her lips before their mouths melted together once again. Jesse's hands gripped the waistband of Rachel's pajama pants and he started to pull them off of her slowly. He had only managed to just barely remove them when the sound of one of Rachel's dads coughing and footsteps on the stairwell just outside of Rachel's bedroom door made him freeze.

He looked down at Rachel who was also frozen in place. There was another cough before they heard her dads' bedroom door shut.

They both let out quiet sighs of relief. "All clear," Rachel whispered, fully expecting to pick up right where they had left off.

Jesse obliged her unspoken request, leaning back down and kissing her deeply in an attempt to finish what they had started. No matter what he did, he could not stop thinking about the fact that her dads were just down the hall, and knowing how vocal Rachel liked to be at times, there was a good chance that no matter how quiet she attempted to be, her dads would hear them. Then he started thinking about a daughter that didn't exist yet and what he would do if she and her boyfriend had sex in his and Rachel's home and how he would feel. It wouldn't matter if she was an adult or not.

He was brought back to reality when he felt Rachel's hands grasp his face as she broke their kiss. "What's wrong?" she asked, searching his eyes. He didn't answer but instead rolled off of her to lie back on the bed. Turning her head, she looked at her boyfriend expectantly, waiting for him to respond to her question.

Seeing the expression on Rachel's face, Jesse sighed again before turning his gaze towards the ceiling. Nothing would make him happier than to do exactly as she wanted, but he just couldn't stop the thoughts that were doing laps in his head. "Rach, I can't," he stated as he continued to stare at the ceiling. "Believe me, I want to." Rachel looked down at his obvious arousal. "But I can't. Not with your dads just…"

She rolled over on her side, propping herself up on her elbow and reached her free hand out. Glancing up, she saw that Jesse's eyes were closed as he breathed in and out deeply. "Trust me, I'm sure they're both sleeping soundly now and won't hear a thing," she told him in a low, throaty voice. She lowered her hand and began massaging his hardness through the thin fabric of his pants and boxers.

"Rach…" he half-moaned, half-protested quietly as she continued her ministrations.

Her lips were right next to his ear when she whispered, "I promise I'll be extra quiet." He turned his head to look at her finally as she hooked her leg over his hip and straddled him. The hand that had been stroking him moved to rest on the pillow next to his head as she rocked her hips forward.

She seemed to be doing everything in her power to make him forget about her dads and focus on her once again. Reaching out, he gripped her hips in order to keep her from moving again. "You're making this really hard," he told her, closing his eyes once again.

"I know," she replied with a cheeky grin as she slowly ground her hips against him.

His eyes shot open at that, the hands that had been holding her hips firmly loosening a bit and allowing her to move once again. "Stop," was all he managed to get out.

Doing as he asked, Rachel couldn't keep the smile from forming on her lips at the fact that she was the one who was now pressuring Jesse to have sex. She giggled as she wondered if her teenage self would've done the same thing if she had lost her virginity to Jesse in high school. Given that he had been unwilling to do much more than kiss when her dads were home after her dad had caught them with Jesse's hand up Rachel's shirt, she wondered if she would have been successful even then. All sorts of different scenarios ran through her head like a comedy of errors, each funnier than the last which only made her laugh more.

She leaned her head forward and buried her face against his neck in an attempt to muffle her laugh. "What's so funny?" he asked, running his hands from her hips to her sides.

Finally, she raised her head again to look at him, a silly grin on her face. "Role reversals…" she replied cryptically. Reaching up with one hand, she stroked his cheek affectionately. The way he was looking at her in the darkness… it nearly took her breath away. Any more laughter died on her lips as the amusement that she had felt not even thirty seconds before was replaced by an all-consuming desire for him. "I need you." She placed a soft kiss just above his heart. Lifting her head again, she let her lips graze the shell of his ear as she whispered the words again, "I need you."

Jesse's concern about her dads completely dissipated from his mind and seemed but a distant memory as her lips grazed his in a feather-light kiss. She leaned back slightly, waiting for him to make the next move if that was what he wanted. Gripping her hip with one hand, he buried his other hand in her hair as he pulled her to him once again with a smoldering kiss that left no room for interpretation as to what his intentions were.

Once again, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and he rolled them over so he was on top of her. They reluctantly let go of each other for a brief moment while Jesse made quick work of her tank top, pajama bottoms and underwear before removing his own and settling between her open legs. He watched as she closed her eyes and small breathy moans escaped her open lips when he pushed into her with agonizing slowness.

Reaching up to where her arms were wrapped around his neck, Jesse grasped her wrist in his hand and moved her arm to rest on the pillow next to her head. He threaded their fingers together and pressed her hand into the pillow as he began to move at a slow, yet steady pace. It took everything that Jesse had in him to not pound into her and make her cry out his name. Their movements began to quicken as they lost themselves in each other. With their mouths melded together in a long, passionate embrace, both felt the low moans and groans of one another as a result of their coupling deep in their chests.

Jesse broke the kiss and rested his cheek against hers as he continued stroking into her, both panting heavily. "I'm so close," Rachel whispered, squeezing him with her thighs as the pleasurable tension built up to nearly unbearable levels. Her mouth formed a silent "O" as her orgasm hit her like a shock wave. She rode out the aftershocks as Jesse's movements became erratic, signaling his own impending release.

All it took were a few more thrusts and then she could hear a breathless "fuck" as he spilled his seed inside of her. Rachel's limbs felt like spaghetti but she wrapped her arms and legs around Jesse as his body continued to shudder from his orgasm. They stayed wrapped up in each other for a few moments longer, gripping each other like they never wanted to let go.

When he finally rolled off of her, Rachel draped an arm and a leg over his body possessively. "So it took a decade for us to finally christen my bed. Was it worth the wait?" she asked, looking at him from the pillow next to his.

He turned his head, his mouth quirking up in a cocky smile as he raised one eyebrow. "Absolutely."


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Note: **My apologies for the wait for an update. I've had some real-life stuff going on that's kind of shifted my focus and has made it kind of hard for me to write anything too fluffy but... I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and not let negativity bring me down. :) I've started working on the next chapter and I'm hoping that I'll have some time to write while I'm at the beach this weekend. I hope that this chapter was worth the wait. As always, I love reading your thoughts so leave a review to let me know what you think. Now... onto the chapter!

* * *

Jesse awoke the next morning to find a still sleeping Rachel lightly snoring next to him. Deciding to let her rest a bit longer, he slipped out of bed quietly and grabbed his clothes off of the floor before tugging them on. As he opened Rachel's bedroom door, he inhaled the enticing aroma of what he was sure would be a delicious breakfast, if dinner the night before had been any indication. Shutting the door noiselessly behind him, he made his way downstairs to find both of Rachel's dads in the kitchen.

"Ah, Jesse," Samuel said, looking up from the paper he was currently reading as Jesse walked into the room.

"Morning," Jesse replied as he ran a hand through the messy curls on his head.

"Did you sleep well?" Bruce asked, turning from the stove where he was cooking some of the largest slices of challah French toast that Jesse had ever seen in a skillet.

Jesse nodded before answering, "I did." He did his best to avoid eye contact, his thoughts wandering back to what he and Rachel had been doing _before_ they actually went to sleep, as he sat down at the bar next to Samuel.

"Coffee?" Bruce asked, reaching for the pot.

"Please." Pouring some of the steaming hot black liquid into a large mug, Bruce walked over and set the nearly full cup in front of Jesse. "Thank you."

"Here's the cream and sugar if you need them." Bruce picked up the two small white containers and placed them in front of Jesse as well.

Jesse shook his head as he raised the mug to his lips. "I take it black. Thanks." He took a small sip before setting it back on the counter. "The food smells delicious. Can I help you with anything?"

"Nope, just enjoy your coffee," Bruce said with a grin as he turned back toward the skillet to flip the French toast.

Samuel set his newspaper down before leaning over towards Jesse. "This is what he lives for," he told Jesse conspiratorially. "He's been complaining that he never gets to cook big meals anymore."

"Don't you guys still have dinner parties once a month?" He remembered one night when he and Rachel had just returned from seeing a local theatre productionto find her dads and four of their couple friends playing a lively game of charades. Jesse had hoped to go upstairs and enjoy a heavy make out session with his girlfriend while her parents were having fun with their friends downstairs but her dads had had other ideas, most likely to prevent Jesse and Rachel from having that make out session, and had invited them to join in.

Despite hanging out with a bunch of adults being the last thing that he had wanted to do, it had ended up being one of the most fun nights he had ever had in high school. Rachel had been adorable as she had tried to act out the names of various TV shows, animals and other things. He thought that was the night that he began to fall in love with her. She had been so natural and relaxed and… happy. Jesse had wished that her New Directions teammates could have seen her.

Of course they had won in spite of cheating allegations from both of her dads. Jesse smiled at the memory.

"We had to skip November and December," Samuel's voice broke into Jesse's thoughts.

"Two of my favorite months where I get to plan the most spectacular meals and showcase my culinary prowess," Bruce declared without turning around, thrusting the spatula that was currently in his hand in the air to make his point.

Jesse raised an eyebrow in amusement.

Samuel shook his head with a soft chuckle, gesturing towards his husband. "And obviously Rachel does not get her flare for the dramatics from me."

"Did I hear my name?" Rachel asked with a yawn as she padded into the kitchen. Walking over to the stove to give her daddy a kiss on the cheek, she then walked around the island to place a kiss on her dad's cheek before wrapping an arm loosely around Jesse's shoulder, leaning into him slightly as she pecked him on the lips.

"Yes, your father was just calling us drama queens," Bruce quipped, turning to look at Rachel with a twinkle in his eye.

"But that's what I love about you both," Samuel offered. "There's never a dull moment." Deciding to change the subject he asked, "So what do you two have planned today?"

"Well, I thought it would be nice to pay an impromptu visit to Mr. Schue," Rachel replied, turning her head to look at Jesse who nodded his head and smiled in agreement. "And then maybe stop by the book store. I haven't been there in years and…" she trailed off, a sudden panic rising in her. "It is still there, right?"

"Of course it is," her dad told her with a bemused smile. Rachel let out a sigh of relief.

"Who's ready to eat?" Bruce asked, flipping the last of the French toast onto a platter next to the stove.

"It looks delicious daddy," Rachel said as she watched him open the oven and saw dishes full of what she was sure was turkey bacon and turkey sausage along with scrambled eggs. Her stomach growled as he began to set the food on the bar. Walking over to the refrigerator, she knew exactly what to look for as she opened the door. Rachel pulled out some bowls with fresh blueberries, strawberries and blackberries then put them on the bar next to the plates that her daddy was taking out of the oven. The two shared a knowing smile as he placed the powdered sugar and maple syrup on the bar, both thinking of a much younger Rachel who wanted nothing more than to be daddy's little helper in the kitchen. It was good to see that some things never changed.

Rounding the bar, Bruce wrapped his arms around his daughter. "I'm glad you're home sweetheart."

"Me too, daddy," she replied, squeezing him tightly.

* * *

As Rachel and Jesse walked through the front doors of McKinley High, a fresh wave of nostalgia washed over her and her feet stopped moving. Jesse continued on a few steps before realizing that she was no longer with him. He turned around, a look of concern on his face. "Are you alright?" he asked, walking back over to her.

"Do you know that I haven't been back here since I graduated from Michigan?" She gazed down the hallway, a far off look in her eyes, almost as if she could see her high school self walking down it with her friends. "I didn't know if I was going to actually make it on Broadway but I still had those big dreams." She turned her eyes up to him finally. "They're not just dreams anymore." Her face lit up with a bright smile as she thought how much her life had changed since then. If she had it all to do over again, she would endure the facial slushies and, even the bullying, if this was the way her life would turn out. She liked to think that it had made her a stronger person in the end and all it had done was make her work harder for what she really wanted.

"No, they're not," Jesse affirmed, breaking into her thoughts and slipping his hand into hers. She gave his hand a squeeze as they continued into the school. Stopping in at the office, they checked-in and made sure that it was okay to pop in to Mr. Schuester's class.

It was incredibly surreal for Jesse as they walked the halls that he had once thought he would never see again. They walked past the dance classroom that brought back memories of an angry, passionate dance that he had been sure was the end for them, but also, and more importantly, of promises of inevitabilities and making Rachel's dreams come true. He gripped Rachel's hand a little tighter.

As they came to a halt outside of the choir room, Rachel stopped and turned to Jesse, "Are you ready for this?"

He let go of her hand and reached up to cradle her face in his hands before placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Now I am."

Deciding that a surprise entrance was better than simply knocking, Rachel turned the door handle and stepped into the choir room that had been her home away from home for four years of her life. Mr. Schue turned his head to see who was interrupting glee rehearsal and did a double-take when he realized who was now standing in his classroom.

"Rachel Berry!" he exclaimed and was shocked but also happy to see Jesse by her side. "And Jesse St. James!" Mr. Schue walked over to them and wrapped Rachel in a tight hug. Turning to Jesse, he shook his hand at first before pulling Jesse into a hug as well, clapping him on the back.

"Hi Mr. Schue," Rachel beamed.

"It's great to see you," Will said, looking at Jesse and Rachel. "Both of you," he added before turning back to the group of kids that Rachel could only assume was the current crop of students that made up New Directions. "Guys, let me introduce you to two former New Directions members _and_ Broadway's hottest stars, Miss Rachel Berry and Mr. Jesse St. James."

Seeing some of the students faces light up in recognition as Will introduced them made Rachel feel more special than she ever could have imagined it would. "Oh my gosh, what's it like performing on Broadway? Was it nerve wracking to star in a new musical? Is it challenging to maintain your vocals performing multiple shows a week? I want to know _everything_," a girl with light brown hair in the front row rambled enthusiastically as Jesse and Rachel walked closer to the students with Mr. Schue.

Jesse smiled at the girl's eagerness which reminded him a lot of how the woman beside him had been when she had sat in that very same room years ago. He looked over at Rachel whose grin told him that she was more than willing to answer every single question. As she opened her mouth, a boy in the back who reminded Jesse a lot of Puck, spoke up. "Do you get lots of free stuff? SWAG or whatever they call it?" Jesse had to bite back the laugh at the look that both Rachel and the unnamed girl in the front shot the boy.

"Who cares about that, _Ethan_," the girl sniped, whipping her head around to glare at her classmate.

The boy opened his mouth to retort, but to Jesse and Rachel's surprise Mr. Schue immediately stepped in to head off the argument that was about to take place. "Kayla, Ethan, that's enough," he told the teenagers sitting in front of him. It seemed that over the years he had learned that it was best not to let his students bicker non-stop and call each other names. "How about we show Rachel and Jesse what we've been rehearsing for the holiday showcase," he suggested.

Kayla, as Jesse had just learned was the name of the exuberant girl in the front row, was smiling once again, obviously more than happy to showcase her own talents. Jesse and Rachel walked over to a couple of empty seats as the students stood up and went to the front to perform the number they had been working on. Leaning back in the chair as he sat down, Jesse rested his foot on one leg and casually draped his arm across Rachel's chair behind her.

They both smiled at the students as they all stood in place, waiting for Mr. Schue to start the backing music for their performance. As soon as the notes of the song began to play, Rachel recognized the melody immediately. "Grown-Up Christmas List" was one of her all-time favorite Christmas songs. Kayla was the first one to sing. Jesse had to admit that her vocals were impeccable. Not quite up to par with where Rachel had been at her age, but still terrific nonetheless.

Rachel fully expected Kayla to sing the entire first verse but was pleasantly surprised when one of the guys sang the next few lines. It seemed as though quite a bit had changed since she had been in New Directions. While there were definitely a couple of students that were much better singers and dancers, no particular student appeared to be the star of the group. They were very much a team despite what Jesse and Rachel had witnessed when they had first been introduced to the glee club. Jesse noted that Mr. Schue had apparently brushed up on his choreography skills over the years as well.

Jesse glanced over at Rachel as the number came to an end and saw that she was beaming with pride. This was the legacy that she had left behind. He joined her as she clapped enthusiastically for the young members of New Directions who, by the looks on their faces, all seemed to be very pleased with their performance.

"That was fantastic," Mr. Schue told the kids as they began to cheer excitedly. He let their cheering die down before turning to Jesse and Rachel. "And what do our two former National champions think?"

A younger Jesse, the one that Mr. Schue had known a decade before, would have critiqued the performance and pointed out everything that they had done wrong and where they needed to improve, and while he was still thinking that they needed to be a little sharper in their choreography and work on maintaining quality vocals while dancing, he simply said, "You guys are really good."

Rachel finally spoke. "I have a feeling there's going to be another National championship trophy added to the McKinley High trophy case this year," she told them enthusiastically. Kayla grinned broadly at Rachel's praise, but as she looked at all of the students she noticed that they all seemed to be excited by her words. The bell rang signaling the end of the period which disappointed Rachel a little bit. She would have loved to have been able to spend more time with the students.

As she and Jesse stood up, Kayla walked straight over to them rather than back to her seat where her bag was still sitting. "Miss Berry," she began, seeming a little unsure of herself now that it was just her standing in front of Jesse and Rachel. Rachel smiled at her encouragingly which seemed to help the girl find her words. "I just wanted to tell you that you're my inspiration. I saw you on Broadway when you took over as Eponine in _Les Miserables_ and my mom and I just recently saw your new show before Thanksgiving. You're both amazing."

It wasn't like this was the first time that Rachel had met a fan, but it felt different when it was coming from a girl that was in the same position that she had been ten years ago. The lump in her throat formed as she felt her eyes begin to water. "Thank you so much," Rachel managed, unable to hide the emotion that she felt completely.

"I hope that one day I can follow in your footsteps," the girl continued. "Could I maybe get your autographs?"

"Sure," Jesse replied, smiling warmly at the girl. He watched as she practically bounced over to her bag and pulled out a notebook and a pen. His eyes met Rachel's as she looked up at him with a watery smile and he reached over to gently rub his hand across her back soothingly. Kayla came back over to them, grinning as she handed the notebook to Jesse to sign. He wrote a small message to her – _Never give up on your dreams –_ then signed it with his usual flourish which meant that any person who looked at it would only be able to make out the two J's in his first and last name with St. in between.

"Thank you," Kayla said as he handed the notebook and pen to Rachel so she could sign it.

Rachel took the notebook and went over to the piano to set it down on the hard surface so she could write in it. She smiled as she heard Jesse ask Kayla about herself before she began to write a message of encouragement to the young girl. _McKinley High and Lima are just the beginning. Believe in yourself and always remember that hard work and dedication will take you far. Good luck in everything you do! You're going to knock 'em dead at Nationals! _Then Rachel signed her name in big loopy cursive, adding a small star next to her name. Walking back over to Jesse and Kayla, she handed the notebook and pen back to the girl. She and Jesse both watched as the girl grinned at what they had both written to her.

She looked back up at Jesse and Rachel, hugging the notebook to her chest. "Thank you so much," she said. "Could I take a picture with you both?" Rachel and Jesse both nodded before Kayla went back to her bag to grab her phone this time and handed it to Mr. Schue so that he could take a picture of them. Standing in the middle of Jesse and Rachel, she smiled a 10,000 mega-watt smile as Mr. Schue snapped the picture.

"One more," Mr. Schue said, holding up a finger. They all smiled for another picture before Kayla thanked them both once again and gathered her things, finally leaving Jesse and Rachel alone in the room with Mr. Schue. They all sat down in some of the choir chairs so they could catch up. "Wow, I just can't tell you how great it is to see you both again. I've heard fantastic things about your show. Emma and I are actually planning a trip to New York in January and we're going to see the show."

"You'll have to let me know the dates and I'll get you a couple of tickets," Rachel offered. "Speaking of Emma, how is your family?"

"Everyone is doing great. Christian and Allison are both growing up so fast. Allison is a future New Directions member," Will Schuester told them proudly. "Christian… I'm not so sure about." He chuckled as he thought about his son.

"How old are they?" Jesse inquired.

"Allison is eight and Christian is six," Will replied as he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. He clicked a button and handed it to Jesse so he and Rachel could see the picture of his family.

"You have a beautiful family," Rachel told him looking at the picture of Emma with their red-headed, rosy-cheeked children. She handed his phone back to him.

"Thank you," he said, taking his phone and putting it back in his pocket. "So the show is doing great, but how are the two of you?" Unlike most of the world, he knew their history and that Jesse was currently going through a divorce so when they had shown up in his class, it hadn't been hard for him to put two-and-two together.

Rachel and Jesse looked at each other, their smiles and looks of adoration conveying more than words possibly could. "Happy," was Rachel's response knowing that she really didn't need to say much more than that to her old teacher.

"That's really good to hear," he replied, smiling warmly at both of them.

"So New Directions is looking National championship worthy from what I saw today," Rachel said, changing the subject. "I would love to see what kind of routine you have planned for Regionals if that was what a Holiday showcase performance looks like. They sound and look amazing, Mr. Schue."

"They have a lot to live up to." The earnest expression on his face told Rachel that he meant what he had said. "They're good kids and despite what you witnessed when you first walked in here, they're great friends and an even better team."

Jesse, Rachel and Mr. Schuester continued chatting for a while and were surprised when the bell rang again signaling that the period had ended and that Jesse and Rachel needed to get going. "Tell Emma I said hi," Rachel told Mr. Schue as she embraced him in a hug.

"I will," he replied, giving her a little squeeze. "And we'll see you guys in January."

"You saved my e-mail address, right?" Rachel asked as she stepped back next to Jesse.

"I did." He held up his phone in confirmation. "I'll get you those dates as soon as we book our flights," Mr. Schue promised. "Have a Happy Hanukkah," he said to Rachel. "And a Merry Christmas," he added, smiling at Jesse. They both waved once again before walking out of the choir room.

As they walked down the hall back towards the front of the school, Rachel fit perfectly into the crook of Jesse's arm as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. "So where to next?" he asked, looking down at her.

"Let's go put on an impromptu concert," she replied before she let go of him and jogged backwards down the hallway with a flirtatious smile on her face. Running to catch up with her, she squealed in delight as he picked her up and spun around.

* * *

They arrived at the place that had started it all, the book store that had served as the site of their very first meeting. For the first time in a _very_ long time, the prospect of going inside wasn't met with a sense of dread for Rachel but with excitement. As Jesse turned off the rental car, they both got out and walked to the front door.

Jesse grabbed the door handle and as he pulled it open the bell above it chimed signaling to the clerks behind the counter that a new customer had arrived. Holding the door open, he waited for Rachel to go inside before following right behind her. While plenty of things had changed aesthetically, the one constant that both he and Rachel noticed was the black piano that sat at the center of the store surrounded by bookshelves.

"I'm gonna look around a little bit," she stated before wandering off to a shelf filled with songbooks.

Jesse decided to check out another section to see what song he could find for them to sing. As he wandered down the aisle, Jesse was surprised to see so many people in the store in the middle of a weekday. Looking around, he noticed that most of them appeared to be college students, probably from Lima Community College. He turned his attention back to the shelf in front of him and ran his fingers along the spines of the songbooks as he scanned the names on them. Suddenly, he stopped as he read the name on one and grinned as he pulled it off of the shelf to look at the cover. It was the perfect choice for them.

Nothing stuck out particularly to Rachel as she began to look at another shelf of songbooks. She was so focused on her search that Jesse startled her when he said her name from behind her. He chuckled at the way she had jumped slightly when he had spoken then said, "I found it."

She tried to glare at him for laughing at her, but it was an unsuccessful attempt as she cracked a smile of her own. "What did you find?" she asked, trying to peer around his back where he was holding the book.

"You said you wanted to give these people an impromptu concert and we both know that no one can pull this song off quite like you and me," he answered as he finally showed her the cover of the book in his hands. Her face lit up as she saw that it was Lionel Ritchie's "Hello". He leaned towards her and said conspiratorially in a low voice, "What do you say, Miss Berry? Should we give them a show?"

Plucking the book out of his hand, she smiled cheekily at him as she walked straight over to the piano and sat down, opening the book up to first page. Jesse slid onto the piano bench next to her and let his fingers hover over the keys.

She watched as his fingers glided effortlessly over the ebony and ivory keys before the sound of his voice pulled her focus upwards. It didn't matter how many times she heard him sing, she was always blown away by how beautiful and pure his voice was. He made it seem like sounding the way that he did came as easy to him as breathing. Soon she was brought out of her reverie and began to harmonize with him.

They had both been vaguely aware of people gathering around them as they had sang, but were so wrapped up in one another and the performance that they didn't realize that the few people that they had thought it had been was more like a small crowd as they finished the song. Everyone began clapping for them as Jesse and Rachel bowed slightly while remaining seated on the piano bench.

The crowd of strangers began to trickle back to the various areas throughout the store once they realized that they would not be getting an encore from the talented couple seated at the piano. "Tell me why we don't do this more often in New York," Rachel said feeling exhilarated as she glanced around at the people throughout the store.

"If I remember correctly, someone once told me that impromptu concerts made them nervous," Jesse pointed out with a raise of his eyebrow.

"Well, we should start," she told him.

"Should we just walk into Saks, sit down at the piano and start singing?" he asked, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"No," she responded like that was the silliest suggestion she'd ever heard despite the fact that they had just done that very thing, only instead of Saks Fifth Avenue in New York it was The Book Case in Lima. It was almost like Jesse could see the wheels turning in her head as she thought more about her idea. "Once a month we can go to a nursing home or a homeless shelter or maybe a group home and put on a concert. I know how much my grandma always loved to hear me sing. And maybe some of the kids could sing with us at the homeless shelter and group home. What do you think?"

"I think we should do it," he agreed, studying her features as she began to think of ideas again. He loved when she got inspired, like she was at the moment, with the slight crease in her forehead as she worked things out in her head and the way her entire face would light up when she came up with something that she really loved.

"I know we're a bit into December already, but I think we still have time…" she mused aloud. Taking her phone out of her purse, she began making notes about possible dates that would work for them and areas of the city that she wanted to look into. Jesse hadn't said anything for a minute and when she looked up from her phone, she saw him watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. "What?"

"I'm glad that I asked you out that day," he told her, knowing that there was no need to explain which day he was talking about.

"Yeah?" She scooted closer to him on the bench.

"Best decision I ever made."

Rachel just couldn't resist the urge to tease him. "The _best_ decision you ever made? Wow, I feel special."

"Okay, maybe I was overstating it a bit. It was really just a good decision on my part," he replied with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"I went from best to _just_ good?" she scoffed. "What happened to better or pretty good?"

"Again, overstating," he teased as she got up from the piano bench and he followed suit.

"You know, I don't think my dad was overstating the fact that there are clean sheets in the spare bedroom," she countered as she began to walk towards the front door.

"You wouldn't." Quickly coming up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I was thinking of a repeat performance of last night," he whispered in her ear.

She twisted around to face him, smirking. "I got what I was after last night. It might be nice to have my bed _all_ to myself."

"I can't believe you used me like that," Jesse said, feigning hurt as he released her from his hold so he could open the door.

"'Used' is such a harsh word," she smirked, walking past him through the open door and towards the rental car. "I like to think of it more as 'took advantage of'."

Jesse let out a loud laugh at that. Coming around to the passenger side of the car, he reached for the door handle to open it but thought better of it at the last second. Instead he pinned her between his body and the car, cupping her cheek in his hand and running his thumb over her full lips. He could feel her breath quicken as her chest rose and fell against his own. He leaned in almost as if he was going to kiss her but instead moved so that his lips were just touching the shell of her ear. "You're more than welcome to take advantage of me anytime you want, Rachel Berry."

Rachel had fully expected him to kiss her, but he stepped back and opened the car door. Her mouth gaped slightly. She sat down in the passenger's seat and looked up at Jesse who was still holding the door open.

"I mean, except for tonight of course, since I'll be in the guest bedroom across the hall from your dads' room. But any other time," he added as he shut the door. She watched him walk around the car and wink at her playfully.

"You're going to love sleeping in the guest bedroom. There are a few springs in the mattress that might poke you in the back, but it's just for a night so you'll be fine," she told him, biting her lip to keep from smiling.

"Oh, so it's like your bed in New York then," he cracked with a completely straight face. "I'm just kidding," he added, noticing the full pout that Rachel now had going on and leaned over to give her a peck on the lips. She stared straight ahead, not looking at him. "I know you're not really mad." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye for a brief second before turning her eyes towards the front of the car once more. "What if I told that I will, in fact, let you take advantage of me again tonight if you are so inclined?"

"I'm listening," she finally said, turning her head and smiling at him in a way that let him know that he had never upset her and that she had, in fact, just won their little tête-à-tête.

* * *

On their way back to Rachel's dads' house after they had left the book store, Jesse and Rachel decided to stop at the Lima Bean to grab a hot cup of coffee. They had been standing in line for a couple of minutes and Jesse had just started to order when from behind them they heard, "Rachel Berry?"


	34. Chapter 34

**Author's Note: **I know that everyone probably thought that I'd given up on this fic, but I've been plagued with writer's block since I posted the last chapter. Real-life circumstances didn't help matters either... However, things are good now and are slowing down at work a bit so I've been writing again. My plan (and the most frustrating thing about the writer's block) is to wrap the story up in another 3-5 chapters.

Since it's been so long, here's a little bit of a recap of where things ended last: Jesse and Rachel are back in Lima spending a few days of Hanukkah with her dads. After visiting McKinley and the book store where they met, they stopped at the Lima Bean where they ran into someone unexpected...

* * *

"_Rachel Berry?"_

The room felt like it had tipped on its axis as she recognized the voice that had said her name. She closed her eyes to try and steel her composure before turning around. Rachel had been prepared to run into any number of her high school friends, but standing there in the Lima Bean was the last person she had ever expected to see.

"Shelby?" her voice was smaller than she would've liked. Rachel was sure that the smile that was plastered on her face was completely unconvincing, but it was understandable when being confronted with the mother that had walked away from her daughter, not once but twice.

Rachel just stood there, frozen on the spot as Shelby stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her in a light embrace. The thought of lifting her arms ever so slightly to return the embrace crossed Rachel's mind but they stayed glued to her sides. All she could think was why was Shelby hugging her like they were old friends?

Shelby took a step back as she released Rachel and let her own arms drop to her sides once again. "You look beautiful," she told Rachel, a genuine smile lighting up her features. "Broadway definitely agrees with you."

"Thank you," Rachel managed. Then she blurted out, "What are you doing in Lima?"

If Shelby was taken aback by Rachel's bluntness, she didn't let it show. "Beth and I moved here from Akron this past summer," she replied, not giving any further details as to _why_ they had moved. "Are you spending Hanukkah with your dads?"

"Yeah, for a couple of days," Rachel answered, turning her head slightly in time to see Jesse turn around and move to stand beside her while they waited for their drinks.

Recognition registered on Shelby's face as she looked at the man standing next to Rachel. "Jesse, what are you…" the question that she had been about to ask died on her lips as Jesse slipped his hand into Rachel's.

"Shelby," he greeted, a slight edge to his voice. He and Shelby had kept in fairly regular contact for years after he had left Carmel, but that was before he and Rachel had rekindled their relationship all those months ago. Since then, he hadn't so much as sent an e-mail or a text. The tiny glimmer of hope that he had held onto for years that she had actually tried to build a relationship with her daughter had vanished the first night that he and Rachel had gone out after rehearsal. What kind of mother – no, what kind of _person_ would selfishly thrust themselves into the life of the child that they had willingly given up for adoption only to immediately walk away and never so much as look back?

Shelby recovered quickly from the shock of seeing Jesse with Rachel, clearly more than just friends and co-stars. "I've read all of the reviews of the show. I'm so proud of both of you," she told them. "I'm hoping that Beth and I can go to New York for Spring Break and she can see her first Broadway show."

The grip that Rachel had on Jesse's hand involuntarily tightened at the mention of Shelby's adopted daughter's name again. Rachel had nothing against the young girl. It wasn't her fault that Shelby had decided that a relationship with her teenage daughter had proven to be something that Shelby had never been ready for in the first place. She wasn't sure if she could ever understand how Shelby couldn't build a relationship with her, but had been up to the task of raising an infant. Rachel allowed herself to wonder briefly if Shelby ever had any regrets about the decisions that she had made when it came to the relationship that she and Rachel could have had.

"Does she sing?" Rachel asked, wondering if Beth took after both of her birth parents.

Shelby beamed proudly as she responded. "Every chance she gets."

"Jesse!" one of the Lima Bean baristas yelled from behind the counter indicating that his and Rachel's coffees were ready.

"I'll get them," Rachel said quickly before turning and walking over to the counter. The almost overwhelming need to get away from Shelby made Rachel want to run to the counter, but she kept her composure as she went to get their drinks.

As soon as Rachel was out of earshot, Shelby leaned in closer and hissed, "What in the hell do you think you're doing Jesse?"

"Getting coffee," he replied sarcastically, knowing full well what she was getting at.

"You're a married man, Jesse." Her tone was hushed but accusatory so he knew where she was going with this. "You had an affair with my daughter." There was fire in her eyes which began to make Jesse's blood boil.

He wasn't going to bother denying the affair because it was true but he couldn't believe she had the audacity to lecture him on anything where Rachel was concerned. "Your _daughter_?" he spat in a low voice. "You couldn't be bothered with Rachel for the last ten years but now she's your _daughter_?"

"She'll always be my daughter," she shot back, her eyes darting over Jesse's shoulder to see Rachel still on the other side of the coffee shop putting some honey in her coffee.

Jesse scoffed at her statement. "Only because you share DNA."

"I may not have raised her, but I'm her mother and I will always want the best for her. I want to see her get everything she wants in life. To have a long, successful career on Broadway. Or Hollywood. Or wherever she might want to go. Not to have her name tainted by a scandalous relationship with her married co-star that she had when her career was first starting." Shelby was so focused on Jesse that she failed to notice Rachel had walked up behind Jesse to hear the tail end of her rant. "I want her to be happy."

"I am happy," Rachel spoke up as she stopped next to Jesse, handing one cup to her boyfriend before turning her attention back fully to the woman in front of her. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Rachel, I…" Shelby started but before she could say anything more Rachel held her hand up to stop her and she acquiesced.

"You don't get to judge me or lecture us," Rachel told her, indignantly. "You don't know me. You never have." She breathed deeply several times to try and repress the anger that was building inside of her.

Shelby saw Rachel's momentary pause as her opening. "I know that I've made some mistakes," she said quietly as she stepped toward Rachel. "I wish I could have been the mother that you wanted me to be."

Something inside of Rachel snapped at Shelby's words. "I would have been just fine if I had never known that you were my mother. My mother would have stayed a wistful dream where I could have imagined what her life was like. If she ever thought about me. What it would be like when we finally met. How it would be to ask her questions that I would never dare think of asking my dads and even though she didn't raise me, she would still love me and want to know me." Rachel's vision clouded with unshed tears that began to well in her eyes as she said the words that she had needed to say for so long. "But you couldn't do that. _You_ came into _my_ life and then decided that you didn't want to be a part of it after all with your warped logic that because I was a teenager there was nothing left for you to do. When I came to you after Regionals and begged you to come and coach at McKinley, you turned me away. All I needed was my mother." Hot tears streaked down Rachel's cheeks as they fell from her eyes.

Not knowing what else to say, Shelby said, "I'm sorry."

"So am I." As Rachel began walking away she paused briefly and looked up at Shelby, a storm of emotions raging within her. The one that was currently overpowering everything else was simply sadness. "Good-bye Shelby."

Jesse began to follow Rachel before stopping one last time. "Always a pleasure, Shelby," he sneered with a fury in his eyes that Shelby had never seen before. She knew she would not be hearing from Jesse any time soon, if ever.

As Rachel rushed out to the parking lot, she saw a perfectly coiffed head of blond hair next to a car parked not far away from her and Jesse's rental. Quinn looked as beautiful as ever as she shut the door to her car and headed Rachel's way, pushing a stroller. After her encounter with Shelby, Rachel wasn't sure that she even wanted to catch up with her old friend but before she knew it she was calling out "Quinn!"

"Rachel?!" A smile lit up Quinn's face as she approached Rachel who was now accompanied by Jesse. Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders in greeting. "What are you doing in town?" Quinn asked as she released Rachel and stepped back next to the stroller. It had been years since she had seen Rachel so it was a bit of a shock running into her in the parking lot of the Lima Bean.

"We're spending a couple of days with my dads for Hanukkah," Rachel explained. "You remember Jesse St. James?"

Quinn turned her eyes to Jesse and after a moment they lit up in recognition and she nodded, smiling at Jesse. "Nice to see you again, Quinn," Jesse greeted, shaking her hand.

"You too," she replied with a smile before turning her gaze back to Rachel. "So how's life as a Broadway star?"

"Busy and wonderful and so much more than I ever dreamed it would be," Rachel told her.

"Well, Kurt couldn't stop gushing about your show when he was here for Thanksgiving. He even sang one of the songs for us," she told Rachel, giggling at the memory of Kurt performing for the entire Hummel-Hudson clan.

"Which one?" Rachel was curious as to what song Kurt chose to sing for his family. He had been to the show many times, but she hadn't realized that he had memorized any of the songs.

"Umm, I think it's a duet because he tried to get Daniel to sing with him." Quinn's brow scrunched together as she racked her brain trying to remember what Kurt had said. "Is there a song called _Believe_?"

Rachel smiled. It was her favorite song in the entire show. "_I'm Making Believe_," Rachel offered.

"That's it!" Quinn exclaimed. "It was beautiful. He told us the story behind the song and how your characters are separated by the war. It sounds like an amazing show."

Looking down for the first time, Rachel noticed the little boy who was gazing up at her from the stroller next to Quinn.

Quinn followed Rachel's line of sight and grinned broadly. "This is William," she offered, leaning down into the stroller and unbuckling the infant so she could hold him.

Reaching out, Rachel lightly tickled William's belly which only made him smile. "What'd Mr. Schue think when you told him that you were naming your son after him?"

"You know, Mr. Schue." Quinn smirked. "He got all teary-eyed and couldn't stop hugging me and Finn. I thought that he might even break into song." They all chuckled as they remembered the many times that Mr. Schue had done just that even in Jesse's short time at McKinley. Noticing the look on Rachel's face, Quinn asked, "Would you like to hold him?"

Rachel smiled and nodded as she reached out for the little boy in Quinn's arms. As she looked down at him, it amazed her how even though he was just months old she could see a bit of both of his parents in him. "He's beautiful, Quinn," she said, gazing down and smiling at the baby in her arms. Unbidden, her thoughts wandered back to the woman inside the Lima Bean and she wondered if she had ever held Rachel. Had she looked at her daughter and seen a bit of herself gazing back up at her?

Quinn's voice broke into her thoughts. "So how much longer are you two here? Maybe we could all go out for a drink? Finn is usually home by five."

"I wish we could but we fly back tomorrow morning and we're having dinner with my dads tonight," Rachel replied, handing William back to his mother.

"Next time then," Quinn offered as she placed her son back in his stroller.

"I'd like that. Well, I'm glad I ran into you." Rachel leaned forward and gave Quinn a hug. "Tell Finn I said hi."

"I will." She turned to Jesse. "It was good to see you again, Jesse."

"You too."

Quinn began walking away before she yelled out "Have a safe trip back to New York!"

Rachel smiled and waved as she watched Quinn make her way to the entrance to the Lima Bean. She and Jesse continued to the car and as she sat down in the passenger seat, she glanced at the coffee shop one last time only to see Shelby and Quinn hugging like the mother and daughter that she and Rachel would never be.

She hadn't thought that part of her heart could break any more than it already had, but in that moment, it shattered.

* * *

As Jesse drove back towards the Berry house, he glanced over at Rachel who had been silent ever since they had gotten into the car. Her elbow was resting on the window sill and her hand cradled her cheek as she gazed at the scenery that blurred by. When Jesse heard a soft sniffle come from Rachel, he reached over and put a comforting hand on her thigh.

Rachel didn't turn to acknowledge him, but instead grasped his hand in hers tightly. Almost as if he was her anchor in a safe harbor. She breathed deeply as they made their way down her dads' street.

Once they pulled into the driveway, she finally turned her watery gaze to Jesse. "Rach…" Jesse began but she shook her head and held up her hand to stop him.

"I don't want Shelby ruining our time with my dads tonight so please don't mention that we ran into her," she told him in a very matter-of-fact tone.

Jesse nodded his head in understanding and gave her hand another comforting squeeze. Jesse hated that what had started out as such a great day with breakfast with her dads and visiting Mr. Schue at McKinley and singing together in the place where they had first met had been marred by a run-in with Shelby. He watched as she took a few deep breaths to try and regain her composure before she looked up at him again and smiled. "Do you need a few more minutes?" he asked.

Rachel shook her head as she released his hand and opened her door. Following her lead, he got out of the car and jogged to catch up to her as she made her way up the path to the front door. He slipped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her into his side, brushing his lips lightly against her temple before they walked through the door.

"Hey!" Rachel yelled, no hint of the sadness or heartbreak that she was doing her best to stamp down was even evident in her voice.

"We're in the kitchen!" her dad called back.

"Again!" her daddy added, making Rachel chuckle.

Unbuttoning her coat and tossing it on a nearby chair as they made their way into the kitchen, Rachel couldn't help the grin that spread across her face as she saw her dads working side-by-side as they prepared dinner. She walked around the counter to give both of her dads kisses on the cheek. "What can I help with?" Just being in the presence of two of the most loving parents that a girl could ever ask for was already making her heart feel lighter.

"You're on latke duty," Bruce said as he handed Rachel a large bowl along with a couple of peeled potatoes and zucchini.

"Mm, my favorite," she replied as she snatched the recipe off the counter and set it down so she could read it. Jesse had just sat down on a stool when she looked across the bar at him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Watching you cook," he stated with a slight shrug of his shoulders and a smirk.

"Nah uh, start grating," she told him handing him one of the potatoes. He held it up with a raise of his eyebrow as he gestured to the empty counter in front of him. In response to his silent question, she handed him a bowl and grater.

"You shouldn't put your guests to work," Jesse teased Rachel, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

She was about to respond when she heard her dad say, "Well, it's a good thing that you're family and not a guest then." Rachel turned her head in surprise at her dad's words and saw the warm smile on his face. While Samuel may not have realized it, what he had just said about Jesse meant the world to both her and Jesse. The one person that she had been most worried about accepting her relationship with Jesse had just called him family.

"So how was your visit to McKinley today?" her dad asked. As they continued to prepare dinner, Rachel and Jesse told her dads about their day, sharing a pointed look as they talked about bumping into Quinn at the Lima Bean and completely leaving any mention of Shelby Corcoran out of the story.

"It was a good day," Rachel finished, turning her gaze down to the bowl in front of her as she felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. She wished that she could forget her run-in with Shelby as easily as she had omitted her from the story. Deciding it was best not to dwell on that unpleasant subject, she looked up at Jesse who had stopped what he was doing for a moment as he gazed at her, eyes full of concern. "I hope the fact that you're not working means that you're done with my potatoes," she teased in an attempt to lighten the mood between them.

Jesse cocked his head slightly, smirking as he tipped the bowl towards his girlfriend. "What's next?"

"Just sit there and watch the master at work," she replied with a wink as she took the bowl out of his hands and stirred it into the mixture in front of her. Turning around towards the stovetop, she turned the burner on to heat up the oil in the skillet before she continued to mix the ingredients together. As she was about to drop a spoonful into the hot grease, she felt Jesse's hand rest on her hip.

"I had to come see the master up close," he teased before kissing her head.

"Prepare to be amazed," she grinned up at him.

"Make sure she doesn't burn those now, Jesse," Bruce called to them as Rachel placed latkes in the frying pan. "She's been known to do that."

"Hey!" Rachel objected. "That was _one_ time!"

Jesse chuckled as he watched Bruce shake his head as he gestured upwards with his thumb.

"Daddy!" She turned back to the frying pan and begrudgingly said, "Okay, maybe it's happened more than once but it was all due to extenuating circumstances."

"Which were?" Jesse asked before either of her dads could.

"Well, um," she racked her brain for something but was coming up empty and then she remembered something. "When I was twelve you let me cook them all by myself and oil splattered on my new dress that you had given me the night before and I went to rinse the stain out so I wouldn't ruin it and in the few minutes that I was gone, they burnt."

"Okay, I'll give you that one," Bruce said.

Rachel looked around to see three expectant faces waiting to hear more about her mishaps over the years. "The next year we had _The Sound of Music_ on in the living room while we were cooking," she began before her dad interrupted her.

"Honey, running off to the living room to sing 'My Favorite Things' does not count."

Rachel's mouth opened to refute her dad's statement but she knew it was true so she tried to think of something else.

"My junior year of high school, Kurt was going through a really tough time and he needed to talk to me." Rachel knew she was reaching at this point as she glanced around at the three men in the kitchen. "Alright, fine. I admit it. I am a latke ruiner!" she declared dramatically, throwing her hands up in the air.

Her dads and Jesse all looked at each other trying not to laugh but as Rachel cracked a smile of her own, all of their laughter filled the Berry house.

* * *

Rachel listened to Jesse's heartbeat, her head resting on his chest, as they lay in the darkness of her old bedroom. The sure and steady rhythm was comforting. Lifting her head, she locked her gaze with Jesse's as she shifted to lay her head on the pillow next his and reached for his hand under the blankets, lacing her fingers through his. "Thank you," she told him in a quiet voice.

With his free hand, he reached up and brushed his fingertips lightly across her forehead before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "For what?" he asked in an equally hushed tone.

"For helping make this the best Hanukkah I've ever had."

Jesse nuzzled his nose against hers in response. "I'm just glad that I was here to celebrate it with you. " They lay in silence for a few moments before he spoke again. "You know, this is how I wished my Christmases had been growing up," he confessed. "We never made Christmas dinner together. We didn't sit around the living room talking for hours."

"Or singing?" Rachel asked, remembering the hour they had spent after dinner singing songs around the piano.

Jesse nodded his head. "Or singing," he echoed. "Christmas was a time for family vacation." Rachel could almost hear the air quotes around the word "family" as he spoke, but she stayed silent wanting him to talk about the parents that he so seldom mentioned. "Ski resort or tropical island, it didn't matter. Presents were opened, dad would make his way to the bar and mom would disappear to the spa for the day."

"What about you?" Rachel rested her hand on his chest, rubbing lightly.

"I would play with whatever expensive gifts they bought me that year."

"By yourself?"

"It became the St. James family tradition," he told her, staring up at the ceiling.

Reaching up, Rachel placed a finger on Jesse's cheek and turned his head toward her. "Well, this year we're going to start our own tradition." She smiled as she thought about the two of them buying their first Christmas tree and decorating it and having friends over for a Christmas party in their new apartment. That was, if they were in the new apartment by then. "_Hopefully_, in our new home." She watched as Jesse's brow un-furrowed as his thoughts turned away from his parents.

"Yeah, hopefully," Jesse agreed, managing to keep from grinning and giving away part of her birthday surprise. As much as Jesse wanted to stay on happier subjects and steer clear of the topic of crappy parents, it worried him that Rachel had still not mentioned their earlier encounter with Shelby. "So… are we going to talk about Shelby?"

"No." The smile from moments before disappeared immediately.

"Rach…" he pressed.

"I don't want to talk about it," she told him as she let go of his hand that she had been holding and rolled over, turning away from him.

Jesse sighed and scooted closer to Rachel so that her back was pressed against his chest. "Rachel, we need to," he insisted softly.

Rachel shook her head as her eyes began to fill with tears.

"Please." He placed a kiss in the crook of her neck as he wrapped his arm around her protectively. "Talk to me," he whispered.

"I thought I had moved past this," she said, the anguish in her voice apparent even though it was barely above a whisper. "I thought it didn't hurt anymore but seeing her again…" Her breath hitched before she continued. "The way she hugged Quinn…" The tears that she had managed to keep at bay all night seemed to flow endlessly as Rachel held on tightly to the arm that Jesse had wrapped around her.

He let her cry for a few minutes, doing his best to comfort her. His heart nearly broke when he heard Rachel say, "She never wanted me."

On some level, Jesse knew that wasn't true. After all, he had been there at Sectionals his senior year when Rachel had brought the house down with her rendition of 'Don't Rain on My Parade'. Jesse remembered how he had thought it was strange that Shelby seemed to beam with pride after New Directions won. It was only on the car ride back to Akron that she had told him the real reason for their excursion to Lima. "She did want you, Rach. The only reason I agreed to leave that tape for you to find in your bedroom was because of the way she had talked about seeing you after she gave birth to you. But when faced with the tour de force that was you, she just didn't know how to be a mother. Unfortunately, Shelby didn't figure that out until it was too late."

"I asked her to come teach at McKinley, you know." It always amazed Rachel how the things that she wished she could forget most of the time were also the things that she remembered vividly. "She told me she didn't want to coach glee club anymore and that she wanted a family. I still don't know why but the last thing I said to her was that Quinn had had her baby." Rachel paused for a moment. "You should have seen the look on her face."

"It was unfair. She was selfish and unfair to you. She shouldn't have taken the choice of finding your birth mother away from you the way she did. I'm sorry I played a role in it," he told her. Rolling over, Rachel buried her face against Jesse's chest getting his t-shirt wet with the tears that were still falling. Jesse comforted her in silence for a few minutes before finally speaking. "Shelby did do the best thing she ever could have done for you."

"What?" Rachel croaked, her voice muffled by Jesse's shirt.

"She gave you an amazing family." He squeezed her lightly and placed a kiss on the crown of her head.

Rachel sniffled as she nodded. "Two of the most wonderful dads that a girl could ask for," she added.

"Exactly." They were both silent again as Jesse rubbed soothing circles on Rachel's back while her tears subsided.

Unsure of how long they had been laying in the quiet darkness, Jesse was sure that Rachel had fallen asleep and had just closed his eyes to join her when he heard her speak. "You forgot the next best thing that Shelby did for me."

"What's that?"

She lifted her head from where it had been resting against his chest only to rest her forehead against his. "You," she breathed. "She gave me you."

* * *

**Author's Note 2: **In case anyone is curious about the song that Kurt sang at Thanksgiving, _I'm Making Believe, _is an actual song that I love by Ella Fitzgerald and the Ink Spots. I kind of planned out the actual musical that Jesse and Rachel are in and this is a song that they sing when they're separated by the war.


End file.
